OneMoreFarang

Let's say we have a couple where the guy makes 100k per month, and she has no decent education and she would only be able to get a minimum salary job for 10k per month. Would it make sense that both work? And if she doesn't work should she asked him for money every time she wants to eat som-tum? Or does it make sense that she has some money to spend? And according to the OP she also buys food from that money.

And your point is?

Maybe, I don't know. Sometimes I hear or see things happening and I don't see it in the news and I wonder why. But to be fair, I look at only a few Thai news sources - which are in English.

I am confused when others doubt this story. Obviously I also don't know if it is true. But what would be the point of writing something like that otherwise? To get applause from people he doesn't know for something he didn't do? Do people get high on something like that?

Your one is different - obviously. ????

Maybe she has cancer and will die, and she doesn't know how to tell him. Maybe. Obviously, he should think about if he wants to know. And then think about if he should ask her nicely, or confront her, or whatever. He can have an answer within a couple of days. I think we can all wait that long before we decide, with not enough information, what is going on.

In your case your are right. You just speculated and gave a reason why. But many other member here seem to know exactly what is going on: She must be a gambling addict, she has a Thai boyfriend and she gives him all the money, etc. Yes, these are possibilities. Not more, not less.

I find it amazing how many people in this thread think they know exactly what is going on. We all don't know. We can speculate and guess. But there are more options in this world than a boyfriend and gambling. What is so difficult about keeping an open mind?

Yes, sure. And if your password is compromised on one service then everything is compromised...

Another wannabe expert. Only because you have a vague idea what could possibly happen doesn't mean this is what actually happens. What's the point of your wild speculation? I was here, I also said something? Yeah, sure.

And then she will send him a bill because he destroyed her house. What a brilliant idea - or maybe not?

Sometimes I click on confused when someone makes a comment like: All women in Thailand are only interested in money. I react with confused because I don't understand how a person with at least a little of a brain can think like that. I don't ask: Why do you think so? Because if the person who writes something like that would actually think, then he would know that not all people are the same. I mostly also don't write something like: No, that is not true, some people are like this, and some are like that. What would be the point of writing something obvious? Maybe I think: Why are you writing something stupid like that? But there is no emoji for that. The nearest one is ????.

Lots of people, and especially Thai people, like gambling. Not everybody who plays regularly is addicted. I.e. when my gf is up country then sometimes she plays cards maybe 24h without break. And the next day she sleeps. And then likely no cards for a couple of months. Maybe the wife of the OP is just bored at home, or maybe she wants to talk Thai with her friends for hours, And maybe she gambles. It doesn't have to be an addiction. And maybe she knows that if she tells him that she plays cards then she knows he will be upset. "Thai solution": Don't tell him, tell him some BS story. Is that good. Not really. But maybe it is not as bad as some people think it is.

People change, for the better or worse and the other way around. Gambling: had that problem. No problem anymore. Drugs: had that problem. No problem anymore. A lot depends on how willing both are to compromise and how much they want to be together with each other. I wouldn't start a relationship with a gambling drug addict. But after years of (hopefully happily) living together, I think partners should try first to find a solution. Otherwise, the next partner will come and the same "I walk away from this" "solution" will be more likely. Many of us can change if we want to.

It's not only you who has to be cool. Imagine she has a lover in that other place and imagine she told that lover that he beats her up. Then look what happens. Do you have a gun with you? Are you prepared to use it? If not, then better think twice.

In part I agree with you. But I disagree with your conclusion about him going away and she staying where she is. I.e. if I would get a great (time restricted) job offer for a year i.e. in Singapore, then I would think hard if it would be a good idea to take my Thai gf with me. I am sure it would be difficult for her to adjust to another country. And what would she do over there when I would be at work? Being separated for a limited time, with visits, might be a better option, at least IMHO.

I think many of us lie from time to time, not just Thai people. But constantly lying to our partner, family and friends is not acceptable.

Maybe that would be a survey here, but I wonder how many people who work in Thailand were ever asked to present their work permit. I work here for >20 years and nobody ever asked me at work (in my office, in any customers offices, or at home). I needed the work permit from time to time i.e. to open a bank account. But that was obviously up to my own timing. If there is nobody out there who wants to bring you into trouble, then I think the chance is very low that anybody will check.

One more thing just came to my mind: If you look anyhow at her Google timeline, what does the past, maybe several years, show? Did you visit that place also before? Maybe over a long time? And/or are there other places which she visited regularly "unexplained"? I am not sure that is the way to go forward with this. But if you are already looking at that data, then look at it.

Or maybe your lawyer will think: If that stupid farang thinks he can win this then I am happy to do all the work and charge him for that. One day, maybe after my 10th invoice, he will realize that some things are impossible...

Coming back to the question in the headline: "Is it okay to lie to your partner of 5 years?" Even after more than 10 years I wouldn't want to answer all possible questions with the truth. Like: did you ever have sex with another girl while we were together in the last 10 years? Of course not! And if I would have done that 5 years ago, I wouldn't be so stupid to admit to it now... So maybe your first question should be if you want to stay with her together if she would not disappear anymore. And if that is the case, then ask yourself if you really want to know what happened. Or can you accept that she did something she shouldn't have done and now she does not do it anymore. Can you say or tell yourself: Forget about it. That's the past. ?

I wrote what I heard from my accountant, and what two other lawyers told me who regularly open companies with farangs who need visa and work permit. Now my VAT registration is in progress and soon the employees will be registered. I will find out in the next couple of weeks how long it takes. IMHO one big issue in Thailand is always that what is officially required is not necessarily what is really required - for any official business. Some time ago I wanted to get a Thai driver license. I read about all the requirements on their website. And then I spend time and money to get my original driver license translated and that translation certified. And then I actually visited that office. They were not interested in the documents which they said on the website they needed. In my case they preferred the expired English version of my international license instead of the official translation of my original not expired license. I know this thread is not about a driver license. But it's about which documents are required. And maybe the regulations are not as strict as you think. Or maybe I will find out in 2 months that it takes at least 3 months. Let's see.

It depends on those facts. If the facts would be that my gf gambled away "my" house and now f#%$% with a loan shark so that he gives her more credit, then I am pretty sure I wouldn't want to know the details. There is some truth to this:

Maybe, just maybe this is (part of) the problem. Maybe she just wants some time without you. I am most of the time together with my gf at home. But sometimes I visit customers in their offices, sometimes I meet friends for a coffee or a beer. And sometimes she sees friends, or she visits her family up country for a week. We enjoy our time together but it's also nice to have a break from time to time. Maybe it's simple like that. Maybe.

Maybe he should ask himself first: What difference would it make how she spends the time she is lying about? If all possible answers are bad, then there is no point to find out which answer it is.