scottiejohn

Where do you get that definition of "Hostage" from? The Oxford English Dictionary defines it as; hostage n noun a person seized or held as security for the fulfilment of a condition.

"i dont know if you should be around children" anyone?

An airplane's propeller is just a big fan, and its purpose is to keep the pilot's cool. Need proof? Watch how much they "sweat" when it stops spinning!

A man died & went to Heaven. As he stood in front of The Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind St. Peter. He asked: "what are all those clocks?" St. Peter replied: "Why, those are the lie clocks people on earth. Everyone on earth has one. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock move." The man: "Oh, interesting. Who's clock is that?" he asked, pointing. St. Peter: "THAT belongs to Mother Theresa. The hands have never moved." The man: "Incredible, & who's is that one?" pointing at another. St. Peter: "THAT one, belongs to Abraham Lincoln. The hands have moved ONLY TWICE." The man: "Where's Donald Trump's clock?" St. Peter: Oh, we sent that to Satan, so he could use it as a ceiling fan."

This is the real story of how Monica and Bill started their relationship; Bill Clinton says "Hey Monica, you want to see the clock in the Oval Office? She says "sure" and goes in there with him. Bill Clinton unzips his pants and pulls out his little Billy. Monica says "That's not a clock". To which Bill replies "It is if you put two hands and a face on it".

What do Monica Lewinsky and a vending machine have in common? Both say "insert bill here" PS; Why did Monica become a republican The democrats left a bad taste in her mouth!

Trump dies and goes to Hell where the Devil is waiting for him. "I don't know what to do," says the Devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you. But you definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got three people here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves." Trump thought that sounded pretty good so he agreed. The devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in, swimming to the bottom and then resurfacing, over and over and over, such was his fate in Hell. "No!" said Trump. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long." The Devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. "No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!" commented Trump. The Devil opened a third door. In it, Trump saw Bill Clinton lying naked on the floor, with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky... doing what she does best. Trump looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this!” The Devil smiled and said, "Monica, you're free to go!"

Some of the ones I have screwed around with should have been in a box!

Would that make the vagina "finger lickin good"?

I think you missed the "r" after "c" in "cap"!

Of course not as they are known to steal from if you do! But!

What of fish curry?

Do they still charge the same 10BHT fee as they do with cards at ATMs if you use the QR code with one of those other banks?

Just like the OP!

Not my rumour but from @beautifulthailand99 ! What daughter, what peerage and what link?

Don't forget "getting a bucket of soap and water" to clean the bank notes, (cleaning bank notes means just separating the dirty torn notes from the usable ones) "tartan paint", "Sky Hooks", and in the navy "Milk for the Sea Cat" (Sea Cat was a Missile System)! I fell for all four, including the "Tartan Paint" even though I am Scottish! PS; Here is a link to a list of the most common ones! FOOLS ERRANDS (messybeast.com)

Please provide a link to that statement!

Thank you for you information but it has now left me confused! You said in the first quote I referenced; "So, someone with no qualifications to be a journalist." and yet in your last post you said; "He studied journalism before dropping out of college to teach English in South America." I accept that having a degree is helpful in getting a job as a journalist with a large newspaper etc but I did not know that if you dropped out of college it meant you had no qualifications to be a journalist!

Should not have to look up things. That is the point. The letters appear now to refer to sports I have never watched, or ever will, but the thread is not in the sports section!

God Help him! PS; I forgot he believes he is GOD and above all laws etc!

In which case you should know, given your so called journalistic reporting expertise(?), that you should be as accurate and descriptive as possible which results in leaving little for your readers to question or investigate! PS; You have still not explained, in your so called professional journalistic style, who or what this author is! As stated above it is not for me or other readers to search out the meanings of obscure posts but for the author to either be clear in the first instance or to clarify when asked. You have done neither!

Yet another pointless, in this case an oxymoron, post!

WARNING- SICK JOKE AHEAD!!!!! "What is the best thing about dead baby jokes"? "They never get old"

A Sunday school teacher posed a question to her class, "If I were to sell my house, car, donate my possessions to charity, and give all my money to the church, would I get into heaven?" The children unanimously replied, "No." The teacher then asked, "If I were to keep the church clean, mow the lawn, and keep everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?" Once again, the answer was a resounding "No." Apparently perplexed, the teacher asked, "Well, then how can I get into heaven?" A quick-witted five-year-old boy piped up and replied, "You have to be dead first!"

A Scottish thief stuck a pistol in a man’s ribs on the stereets of London and said, “Give me your money Jimmey.” The gentleman, shocked by the sudden attack, said: “You cannot do this, I’m an MP!” The thief said, “In that case, give me my bloody money back!”