Chris Daley

I have man boobs because I work 12 hours a day in a sedentary job and I eat Thai food which is horrifcally bad for you.

Put it in a box of Earl Grey. Should be fine.

The toilets with the walls kicked through and a hosepipe shared between the cubicles. The nightlife that closes at 15:00. No street food. No restaurants. No ATMs. No sim cards. No sidewalks. The streets filled with packs of dogs and mad homeless people. Come on guys its all about Laos now!

I wore diapers for the first few years in Thailand but it got too difficult to hide them. The bag that they come in is huge. Now I just plan ahead and avoid traffic jams.

Why you don go! The traffic light is broken. Broken mean you go!! You cause big problem now!

Soggy raw base, covered in condensed milk with extra sugar, hold the cheese, no seasoning and about the size of a child's hand. They know how I like it. How about you? What are your favourite Thai pizzas?

She said she was eighteen.

Made me smile this one.

There were no wars 51 years ago.

Half of everything you own.

All Thai women are hot. Your theory is flawed.

First stop the Thai embassy then straight back home. Nothing else to do in Laos.

It means they want your money.

After the usual fake ajarn + fake science combo on the news and women's daytime shows (because women are the most naive of the population) has anyone else had a constant battle trying to keep the house cool? I have to admit seeing the immigration officers sweating at cheang wattana made me smile. They have turned off the aircon to the entire building. But at home it is getting annoying. We now have a new rule at night "do not put aircon below 27 cuz it will bomb". As for downstairs she won't let me turn it on. Fans only. The slime at work wack it up to 29 and low fan. Some classrooms turn off the aircon and open the door. The heat is unbarable. I feel dizzy when teaching and I am visably sweating. How about you? Do you think women that turn aircons off should wear blue hats? So we can spot them and avoid them?

Measuring men with a tape measure and looking at the wig to work out if they should national service. Hilliarious. Get a hair cut.

First mission: clean drinking water.

Poverty doesn't exsist. We have cured it already with the abundance of natural resources at our finger tips. Not to mention the trillions of dollars that the government sits on. The poverty that remains is created on purpose. Sorry smiley your run hasn't made a difference.

Don't stop at the watch get his shoes as well.

Tip every Seven Eleven into a dumpster and fill the shelves with salads. The population's life expectancy will increase by 50 years.

So if there is a war I'm going to prision and ladyboys go to play dressup and look at their titles. Sounds a tad unfair. Why do we assume a man has the mental strength to endure prision.

10 hours of spoken propaganda and a random jazz instrumental. Got to love Thai radio.

And on your left is a pile of trash.

I sure do. 100 drinks hot or cold. Sweetness level. And a full coffee menu + shots all for 30 baht. Large cup as well. Not to mention the points system is generous. You can get points by adding your phone number after ordering. But it is optional. Just the thought that all those clueless overpriced cafes and lazy chayen shops are going out of business makes me sleep with a smile on my face. How about you? Taobin with its clean, fast and correct orders or Thai street vendors with the smell of urine, clueless staff and overpriced menus?

Do you think AI could manage it? Could it manage ''You teach English why you don speak Thai!?'' One AI could sure replace a lot of human garbage. And imagine how much money it would save the tax payer.

On the walls and partitions you will see a QR code. It is written entirely in Thai and in size 8 font. But I can read it and it said 'review the officer'. I spent 6 hours waiting at 3 desks while two of the desks had no one behind them, the air con for the entire building has been turned off, and the car park is now a scrap yard. So no wonder they clearly don't want foreigners to be able to read it.