Chris Daley

This one made me smile.

We recently moved into a new house and the sister in law came over. She is the older one so what she says goes. She just casually said ''You can't use that door.'' it is the main door to the front of the house. So we have to use a sliding door now. Then we had the AC people coming in. She is one of these people who looks down on laborers. She's shouting at them to put the ac on the other side of the house away from the electric and water. There is already a space where the old one was but she wants to move it to the other side of the room. Finally the workers refuse to do it. They told her why it would be difficult and then continued working. She then demands that the mirror must be hung on a certain wall. The wall in the dark next to the cat litter trays so no one can stand in front of it. She also told us that we can not position the bed in a certain place. The bed must be near the toilet door. Great idea so now we have cut the bed in half to open the door? No you just walk around the hallway in a circle and use the other door. She is a Buddhist sometimes and a Christian as well. Sure why not. There are five major religions so four must be lying. How about you? Do you think people who believe in Feng Shui should be painted blue?

Was the dog okay?

The best description of heaven is identical to Earth in its current form. It's even more obvious when we look around into the vast hostile vacuum of space. Imagine how stupid one must be to even think there might maybe could be a heaven and throw away the time on Earth. Imagine if you traveled for 100 years in all directions and never found another planet that could sustain life. How about 1 million years in any direction. And all the time we were living in the heaven we describe.

I don't mind a bit of Tom Yam Sunak but I was shocked one time to find the collar at the bottom of the bowl.

Reading about feminism.

I know this guy. Saw him at the dungeon.

Well done smiley. That must be difficult for you.

Just keep extending it. You can keep doing it for 6 months and then have to change it to be an ED visa.

To do list: 1) clean drinking water 2) air ambulance

Pay the protection money I mean ''the fine''.

If it was a girl not a word would be said about it.

I asked an AI to describe it and it described Earth. I then asked it to draw a picture based on that. How about you? Do you think Earth is an unfathomably unique beacon of light in infinite darkness or just a second rate <deleted>hole compared to heaven?

Rob a gold store. Forgot to change the plates on his bike.

You order noodles and she brings you a bowl of soup. Time to start digging.

Maybe stop using drivers that are 89 year old smack heads.

The legal age is 16 in England. What did he do wrong?

I saw an old Thai lady squatting and urinating at the bus stop while everyone was waiting. No one said a word. Saw many taxi drivers which of all people should know the way to a restroom but instead urinate infront of children. It's normal to <deleted> on the sidewalk in Thailand.

That temple should give the money back to all the people they stole it from. We buy magic from you and pray at your feet. You can't even predict a bus crash. Scammers.

Beat women, sniff the glue and lay around shirtless all day. These boys look like they will fit in just fine.

Get a job

And in the courtroom today we have the plaintiff, a glue sniffing drunk that was found wasted at the scene of the crime. And the defendant a machine that neither crash nor lie. Lets check the blackbox recording. I award the amount 100,000 baht to Tesla and we apologize for wasting it's time.

I saw someone break it down into math and the numbers are insane. The chance of YOU existing: an infinite universe full of multi universes, the universe creating earth, the probability of a single protein forming by chance, the absolute miracle that is complex lifeforms, the many different types of humans dying off and leaving modern humans, those humans surviving, war, famine, your mothers family tree, your fathers family tree, your mother and father meeting, that one sperm finding an egg. I have read it's 1 in 400 trillion. But that might just be the sperm and egg part without the other stuff.

Two men and two women shouting the insults over the men's shoulders.

You mean this?