Chris Daley

The philosophy behind the bible is just so flawed and there are some seriously dubious sections in it. Stoning homosexuals, mass murder, murdering innocent people, incest, eating children and their symbol is a man nailed to a cross. There are far better works of fiction on the bookshelf that aim to help people live a peaceful life.

The Thai family visited us. So about 10 people and some kids. The damages: One sliding door, one hand grabber tool, one garden bench (the back fell off it), and one cat toy. They almost had the laptop as one of the kids was throwing it around. And apparently I paid for all the food. 4000 baht. The good side is I got to play badminton with the kids all day. They were dropping like flies.

And the bad car names continue into the next year. BYD, Good Cat. At least Tesla is a good name. Easy to say in any language, historical meaning, looks good, two syllables.

Same as every other year. Impossible to find a live stream.

You only had one job Gerben.

No clickbaiting tragic news stories and cashing in on someone's misery via advertising is wrong.

But it's already 1 month for a tourist visa. So what is ''visa liberalization''?

He probably ate one of those grotesque croissants from Seven Eleven.

You should see the non b paper work. It's like 40 pages. ED visa as well. Huge folder.

I guess you could just switch off the router no and then so he gets bored of it. It's not worth confronting him. You will end up with a bad neaubour. It doesn't really affect the wifi speed.

I'm still on series 3. No spoilers please.

I almost got smudged by a Thai bus. There was a clearly marked wide crossing near major schools and universities. I was almost to the end and he just clipped my backpack. He will do it to the wrong person one day.

It's an interesting one. I've noticed a lot of Indians and Pakistanis run up huge debts on luxury cars and nice houses drag it out for a year and then do a runner. I could do with a bit of that.

Disgusting raw sweet roti and the bizarre ''Kao Mok Gai'' will do it. Serve that crap to an Indian and he will knife you.

How about 90 day reports and background checks for Thai teachers? They wouldn't last a second.

We all know that these holy books written by a bunch of beardy men. They got to the part about women and were totally lost. Basically don't screw your wife when she is on her period. That the only wisdom they have to offer. The Bible 20 Anything she lies on during her period will be unclean, and anything she sits on will be unclean. 21 Anyone who touches her bed will be unclean; they must wash their clothes and bathe with water, and they will be unclean till evening. 22 Anyone who touches anything she sits on will be unclean; they must wash their clothes and bathe with water, and they will be unclean till evening. 23 Whether it is the bed or anything she was sitting on, when anyone touches it, they will be unclean till evening. 24 If a man has sexual relations with her and her monthly flow touches him, he will be unclean for seven days; any bed he lies on will be unclean. (Leviticus 15:19-30) The Karen Surah Al-Baqarah (2:222): "And they ask you about menstruation. Say, 'It is harm, so keep away from wives during menstruation. And do not approach them until they are pure. And when they have purified themselves, then come to them from where Allah has ordained for you. Indeed, Allah loves those who are constantly repentant and loves those who purify themselves.''

When someone reading the horoscope page in a paper asks me my star sign I always give the wrong one. They read it and make it fit perfectly then I tell them sorry that's not mine. - Ricky Gervais

I'll get my money somehow.

Spoke to the girl in Seven Eleven. Trafficking. Sneezed in the same room as a woman. Trafficking. Draw a picture of Marilyn Monroe on a windy day. Dead celebrity picture trafficking.

I have teams of people handling my visa. The girlfriend + the entire visa department at the school. They f it up every single time.

So that will be one condensed milk pizza, no cheese extra packets of sweet sauce please. Yum. Sorry this isn't sweet enough can you just poor sugar on it. Thanks.

I was at a Makro in Issan and some Aussie guy started getting abusive. I asked him to hand me something off the shelf and he started blocking me with his trolley. I took my shirt off and asked him if he wanted to go outside. He was really starting to give me the hump so I spat in his face. I reached over his trolley and got my tin of Pork Faggots off the shelf. And the we moved on.

He tried it 6 times in his bungalow before moving on to the condo.

With all that alcoholic I bet he is really flammable. Should go up a treat.

Always ten vs 1. Thai men are cowards.