Amazing discovery

[CeeGee]

Extract from Nakhon Nowhere Gazette

 

Deep in the foot hills of Nakhon Nowhere an amazing discovery has been made after almost 20 years of research.

The mystical and long rumoured to exist Ruwls of the Roade.

Many scholars have insisted for years that this book is folklore but this discovery of the ancient manuscript is a major historical find.

In very poor condition, it was found under the rear seat of a long abandoned taxi cab buried under almost three tons of rotting som tam.

Efforts to fully translate this book have met with limited success and to date only some pages have been fully translated.

We are able to give below extracts from this historical document (apologies in advance for the poor translation and spelling).

 

The first page clearly says

Rule One

“All road users, foot, wheel and hoof should obey these rules and guidance unless on the front of their “vehicle” unless they have 1)A replica of Buddha,2)A replica of Ganesh or 3)A plastic model of Homer Simpson. These laws then do not apply to these vehicles.

It is pointed out that a model fish made from Baht notes is not classed as an exception.

All drivers of vehicles must have a licence. There then follows a description of the correct licence

It say that the licence will usually will be either brown or red and will have the licence number which will be either 1000 or 500 and must be produced when asked for by an officer of the law, who will retain the licence for inspection.

Licences can be obtained any bank on payment of the appropriate fee.

 

Many pages cannot be translated due to the poor condition but some extracts are still readable

Page 35

 CC when used to describe a motorcycle refers to carrying capacity (and not as commonly thought, engine size)It is not possible to translate if this refers to weight or number of people that might be carried.It is thought that it refers to the kg of the  passengers,ie 125 cc may carry two adults whose total weight is less than 125kg or four children.The drivers weight is not taken into consideration when making these calculation

Page 116

One way streets are designated by the direction that  the first vehicle entering is travelling ,all other vehicles must u turn and travel in the direction of the first vehicle. This does not apply if rule one is in force.Road signs should be regarded as a guidance only and not mandatory.

Page 118

Vehicle must not be overloaded.

Vehicles are not classed as overloaded if it is possible for a small boy to climb on top of the load and remain there whilst the vehicle is being driven.If the boy falls off during this test it is permitted to use a second small boy.

Page 120

All vehicle must have working lights and must be produced when requested by an officer of the law.In order to ensure that these are kept in good condition the law allows for them to be kept away from the vehicle ie at the back of the local temple.

Page 125

No driver may drive while under the influence of alcohol. The law clarifies that drivers must be able to remember their own name within 3 hours when asked. Failure to do so will result in there being asked to produce their licence (see rule one for an acceptable document) Drivers who fail to produce an acceptable licence will be asked to drive home to obtain one.

Page 130

When requested, all vehicle must stop when requested by an officer of the Law.

Exceptions to this law are Any vehicle made in Germany less than one year old, any vehicle with a red plate,if the driver has an income greater that the Chief of Police in that District or if the drivers aunties sisters brother is a high up government official.Any children of the above may also claim exception

 

Page 133

Road must be clearly marked with white lines, these lines are deeply religious signs and as such must not be driven on, drivers should drive on either the left or the right side of these lines ,not on them.It is up to each driver to determine which side to drive on dependant on their date of birth.

Page 140

All road signs are to be considered for guidance only (translated as “Up to you”) and referring to them in the case of an accident will not be considered as a defence. This also applies to traffic lights which are clearly in place to illuminate the junction only.

Page 142

Speed limits are inforce on all roads. In order to enable drivers to concentrate on the road, these limits will not be displayed on the roadside but will be clearly displayed in the noodle section of the nearest 7/11.Those signs which many think are speed limits are actually the upper age limit for drivers on that road.

 

 

More extracts will appear as soon as they have been translated.The Nakhon Nowhere gazette is looking for freelance volunteers to translate this historical document

[sirmud63]

  

seems legit  .

[chickenslegs]

Some people will think you have made this up.

 

Those people have never driven in Thailand.

[Rc2702]

Stopped reading after 5 sentences. Seems very swissieesque.

[CeeGee]

swissieesque.   ????

[The manic]

On 19/09/2017 at 5:19 PM, chickenslegs said:

Some people will think you have made this up.

 

Those people have never driven in Thailand.

Some people think that Thai driving standards are especially poor if they lack world experience. For us who have driven and experienced roads in Saigon, Hanoi, Rangoon, Riyadh, Tripoli, Kuwait Bombay, Lahore and numerous other cities and countries know that Thailand is not that bad.

[Jip99]

2 minutes ago, The manic said:

Some people think that Thai driving standards are especially poor if they lack world experience. For us who have driven and experienced roads in Saigon, Hanoi, Rangoon, Riyadh, Tripoli, Kuwait Bombay, Lahore and numerous other cities and countries know that Thailand is not that bad.

 

 

 

Yes it is.

 

Statistics suggest Thailand has the second worst road death rate in the world.

 

Places like Saigon etc seem manic but they usually driver slower and suffer Les deaths.

[White Christmas13]

26 minutes ago, CeeGee said:

swissieesque.   ????

Double Dutch

[CeeGee]

Sorry Guys, put this in Pub as it is not meant to be taken seriously, just thought it might amuse.There are enough threads on Thai driving, deaths etc, 

Some of us,I hope can relate, in a lighthearted way, with some of the things

Thats all, not meant to be taken seriously at all 

[The manic]

8 hours ago, CeeGee said:

Sorry Guys, put this in Pub as it is not meant to be taken seriously, just thought it might amuse.There are enough threads on Thai driving, deaths etc, 

Some of us,I hope can relate, in a lighthearted way, with some of the things

Thats all, not meant to be taken seriously at all 

Perhaps you should flag it as comedy or irony like people who make racist jokes ..To me it's just a bunch of tired, old,  racist, anti Thai cliches made by somebody who lacks world experience. Anyway. Tee Hee.