Marrying a "rich" westerner may not be a "dream come true" - says BBC

[473geo]

2 minutes ago, oyster said:

The catch here is Mother in Law.......and a jealous one has ruined many a relationship in many countries, women can be insanely jealous and spiteful - the I want what you have culture kicks in, and then it becomes - if I can't have it I'll spoil it for you. It wrecked a twenty year marriage for me in the UK. Fortunately I have no mother in law in Thailand. I know many Westerners who have married Issan girls - whom they met down south, they and their partners are all very happy........and most live well away from any in laws,

There is lot of variation in the 'mother in law arena' I have experienced both sides, the only advice I would give is try not to usurp the mother in law, be it intentional or not. In any environment while you may seek to influence your wife, also improve her understanding on various topics, and areas of life, allow her to seek 'approval' from her mother and siblings. As long as a good idea can be seen to originate from the correct persons life will be good.

I made the mistake of becoming more influential than my western mother in law and she endeavoured to block, dilute, blatantly oppose, openly criticise and undermine everything I did.

In Thailand I accept that Yai is the head of the family, and I allow her to be openly supportive at all times, she is a good sort and leaps at any opportunity where her assistance can be utilised. Plus she speaks well of me outside the family, I know this

 In return I have not taken my wife away from the family unit and she is a great source of support to her mother and siblings. I have also noticed a great deal of respect shown among the family in that they rarely step inside our home without invitation.

For me the family are hard working, my wife works hard, and I work hard, I have no reason to be anything other than part of the team. Let the mother in law play as captain, it suits me fine.

[William C F Pierce]

On 20/09/2017 at 5:20 AM, Bullie said:

Since thai law is stacked in favour of thai nationals I very much doubt if it would NOT be a bed of roses. Whichever way a marriage turns out the girl will always, always come out ahead. Especially if a car , house, land is bought and a pre-nup avoided.

 

I' d happily settle for the few thorns involved on that sweet smelling bed.

Even in your own western countries you can get shafted in favour of the woman in courts of law. If your pig  ignorant then things will go against you where ever you live and marry, not just Thailand.

[bkk6060]

I always love the stories from Falang who will claim:  I don't give her much money.

Maybe true but the cases I know the lady looks like a total fat hag, no make up, no style or class, no job, multiple kids, family issues, blah blah......

If you want that then,  OK enjoy.

But, I can meet that in the USA in Fresno and probably she actually has a job at Kmart.

[al007]

51 minutes ago, bkk6060 said:

I always love the stories from Falang who will claim:  I don't give her much money.

 

 

 

 

 

I DO"N"T

 

 

I wrote earlier on this thread I am very happily married and I only give her family a very modest amount like same as if she were working, I am going to increase that!! I also support a couple of step sons

 

 

I also claim I do not give her much money we live in Issan have two full time staff

 

 

I only spend 85,000 to 100,000 per month

 

 

Do I fall into your category of I do not give her much money, !!!! because I am very very happy with life, and I have major surgery rather soon

 

 

My wife loves me and my money and that is very very OK

 

 

She also works very hard for what she and her family get

 

 

God Bless

 

 

 

 

 

[theguyfromanotherforum]

2 hours ago, bkk6060 said:

I always love the stories from Falang who will claim:  I don't give her much money.

Maybe true but the cases I know the lady looks like a total fat hag, no make up, no style or class, no job, multiple kids, family issues, blah blah......

If you want that then,  OK enjoy.

But, I can meet that in the USA in Fresno and probably she actually has a job at Kmart.

 

You really have no clue, do you?

[amvet]

17 hours ago, Damrongsak said:

Yeah, but there are a few starry-eyed suckers still out there. 

 

But, seriously, I wonder about the statistics of successful marriages between like people and people of different cultures or just slightly different mindsets.

In one study I read when the background factors like the age at marriage and the level of education were adjusted , it was found that the differences that cropped up disappeared almost entirely.  I would suggest culture is not as important as age and education. 

[icare999]

On 20 September 2017 at 10:34 AM, theguyfromanotherforum said:

My wife supports me. I wouldn't have it any other way.

<deleted>

 

[al007]

5 hours ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

 

You really have no clue, do you?

 

The anger, the resentment, the jealously, that appears to be stirred up by someone saying his wife supports hime is very disturbing, unhealthy and unreal

 

Surely if two people are happy together that should be sufficient, and we should be happy for them

 

Does it say in the Bible there is something wrong with the wife doing the providing, I do not think so

 

The ones we need to pray for and ask God to help are those so unhappy with this very acceptable situation

[George FmplesdaCosteedback]

5 hours ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

 

You really have no clue, do you?

You are very fortunate Captain P.

I do know two guys that have found themselves in much the same situation though.

Good luck to you.

Meeting women in the Hi-So is not easy here without considerable personal wealth, position and connections. Thais are as xenophobic as anywhere, if not worse.

The Tiger Woods story is interesting if you have not read it.

But please try refrain from looking down on the others that have had less luck with the ladies.

 

 

 

 

[balo]

53 minutes ago, al007 said:

he ones we need to pray for and ask God to help are those so unhappy with this very acceptable situation

God does not exist, only in your imagination. 

 

[al007]

1 hour ago, balo said:

God does not exist, only in your imagination. 

 

How do you know, I do not think you do

[bkk6060]

7 hours ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

 

You really have no clue, do you?

You are right.  I have no clue about fat hags low class ladies with no life.

But, if you want to educate us, be my guest!

[balo]

1 minute ago, al007 said:

How do you know, I do not think you do

This planet is evidence a God does not exist. It's all random .  

 

[al007]

1 minute ago, bkk6060 said:

You are right.  I have no clue about fat hags low class ladies with no life.

But, if you want to educate us, be my guest!

Maybe go back to bed and get out on the other side, 

 

So early in the day for such venom

[owl sees all]

3 hours ago, al007 said:

Does it say in the Bible there is something wrong with the wife doing the providing, I do not think so

Where does it say in the bible that women have to shave or pluck underarm hair? But Thai women do! North Korean ladies are not allowed to shave anywhere and look so much more natural. Kim jon un does regular inspections.

[owl sees all]

2 hours ago, George FmplesdaCosteedback said:

Meeting women in the Hi-So is not easy here without considerable personal wealth, position and connections.

Possible!! Just have to take your time and get into places where they circulate. Getting involved in certain pastimes/sports would open some doors. Swimming competitions, fencing and ballroom dancing would do it for starters. Have to dress nice (no wellies) have fresh breath (no low khow drinking) and don't take out false teeth in public.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

2 hours ago, George FmplesdaCosteedback said:

You are very fortunate Captain P.

I do know two guys that have found themselves in much the same situation though.

Good luck to you.

Meeting women in the Hi-So is not easy here without considerable personal wealth, position and connections. Thais are as xenophobic as anywhere, if not worse.

The Tiger Woods story is interesting if you have not read it.

But please try refrain from looking down on the others that have had less luck with the ladies.

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks for the kind words you reasonable man of TV!

 

But just to clarify, my wife is not hi so, nor do I look down on posters who provide for their wife and her family.

 

I will, however, put down any poster who claims people should mind their own business, but can't actually follow their own advice. I will also verbally obliviate any poster who calls my wife "different" because she is employed and not a bar girl.

 

Just so we understand each other.

[owl sees all]

16 minutes ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

I will, however, put down any poster who claims people should mind their own business, but can't actually follow their own advice. I will also verbally obliviate any poster who calls my wife "different" because she is employed and not a bar girl.

I'm not sue if my wife is different or not. I met her outside a bar in Pattaya. She said she was only visiting her friend. I paid some money to the bar manager because it was for shoes that she owed for.

 

On the way back to the hotel farangs were saying "Hi Nok". She said she knew them 'cause they went to the restaurant where she sometimes worked. 

 

Yes! I had my suspions but she told me Buddha would not like her to lie.

[Blue Muton]

11 hours ago, amvet said:

 I would suggest culture is not as important as age and education. 

I would tend to agree with that except that you've fallen into the trap of confusing intelligence with education, substitute that one word and it makes all the difference.

[metisdead]

An off topic grammar police post has been removed as well as a reply.

[nongsung]

15 hours ago, al007 said:

 

The anger, the resentment, the jealously, that appears to be stirred up by someone saying his wife supports hime is very disturbing, unhealthy and unreal

 

Surely if two people are happy together that should be sufficient, and we should be happy for them

 

Does it say in the Bible there is something wrong with the wife doing the providing, I do not think so

 

The ones we need to pray for and ask God to help are those so unhappy with this very acceptable situation

So very true al007 and that is exactly the reason I’m not posting much these days.

I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you al007; my health worries are very minor compared to yours.

[Kieran00001]

11 hours ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

 

Thanks for the kind words you reasonable man of TV!

 

But just to clarify, my wife is not hi so, nor do I look down on posters who provide for their wife and her family.

 

I will, however, put down any poster who claims people should mind their own business, but can't actually follow their own advice. I will also verbally obliviate any poster who calls my wife "different" because she is employed and not a bar girl.

 

Just so we understand each other.

 

What does "verbally obliviate" mean?

 

Obliviate - state or fact of forgetting

 

 

[al007]

12 hours ago, owl sees all said:

Where does it say in the bible that women have to shave or pluck underarm hair? But Thai women do! North Korean ladies are not allowed to shave anywhere and look so much more natural. Kim jon un (AKA the little rocket man, inserted not in original post) does regular inspections.

 

Ah I have not seen one before, you must obviously be  "the little rocket Owl" from North Korea I presume, a rather rare specimen 

[theguyfromanotherforum]

22 minutes ago, Kieran00001 said:

 

What does "verbally obliviate" mean?

 

Obliviate - state or fact of forgetting

 

 

 

I dunno. I'm a Serb. I thought it made sense, but perhaps not.

[al007]

There is too much degrading of thai ladies here

 

A man has a drink in a bar is lonely and a female approaches, he buys her a drink, so far OK for you all

 

A little later he is tired after a long flight and the lady offers him a massage  still ok

 

Later the massage turns into a consensual sex session. no money passes so OK I presume

 

 

A business man returns home and buys his wife a big diamond ring US$100,000 equates to one percent of his bonus, and only petty cash to him

 

That night the wife gives passionate sex, which the man is expecting

 

So the Thai lady and big executives wife are morally very much the same, except the Thai lady does what she has to so as to feed her children and parents

 

Maybe the Thai lady more moral and honerable

[Kieran00001]

8 minutes ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

 

I dunno. I'm a Serb. I thought it made sense, but perhaps not.

 

Perhaps it does, I wasn't calling you out just not a useage I am familiar with, but I think probably the word you were looking for is obliterate.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

Just now, Kieran00001 said:

 

Perhaps it does, I wasn't calling you out just not a useage I am familiar with, but I think probably the word you were looking for is obliterate.

 

That's the one, heh

[wildewillie89]

When the Mrs and I got married and had it registered at the Amphoe (District Office), the Amphoe Chief's wife told my wife you are not expecting him to work are you? She went on to say she has another friend whose husband moved to Thailand and she solely provides for him. She claimed the woman should, as he is moving from a first would country to a third world for her. 

 

Of course I do work, but the Mrs provides the housing, vehicles etc etc - as I came with no money. I put my earnings into the kids and dogs mostly. However, in our later years the Mrs will be providing pretty much everything (as I wont be able to work). 

It is not an uncommon concept for this to be the case in Thailand, as the District wife said (after all, she meets a lot of people who get married). It may not be the norm, as this forum quite often points out, but it is definitely not uncommon.

Doesn't have to be a hi-so girl. From the hi-so girls I used to friend/date, no way would I be able to keep up with their lifestyles, even though they will pay your share to take you out (as they pick the places they want to be seen/or frequent). Great friends or fun, but would require a certain taste to be serious with them.  

There are a lot of girls who have come from humble to middle class backgrounds that have got good jobs in the country now as women have more opportunities these days than before.  

[al007]

1 hour ago, wildewillie89 said:

When the Mrs and I got married and had it registered at the Amphoe (District Office), the Amphoe Chief's wife told my wife you are not expecting him to work are you? She went on to say she has another friend whose husband moved to Thailand and she solely provides for him. She claimed the woman should, as he is moving from a first would country to a third world for her. 

 

Of course I do work, but the Mrs provides the housing, vehicles etc etc - as I came with no money. I put my earnings into the kids and dogs mostly. However, in our later years the Mrs will be providing pretty much everything (as I wont be able to work). 

It is not an uncommon concept for this to be the case in Thailand, as the District wife said (after all, she meets a lot of people who get married). It may not be the norm, as this forum quite often points out, but it is definitely not uncommon.

Doesn't have to be a hi-so girl. From the hi-so girls I used to friend/date, no way would I be able to keep up with their lifestyles, even though they will pay your share to take you out (as they pick the places they want to be seen/or frequent). Great friends or fun, but would require a certain taste to be serious with them.  

There are a lot of girls who have come from humble to middle class backgrounds that have got good jobs in the country now as women have more opportunities these days than before.  

 

 

May your happiness continue, stay lucky 

 

God Bless, and thank you for sharing

[George FmplesdaCosteedback]

7 hours ago, al007 said:

There is too much degrading of thai ladies here

 

A man has a drink in a bar is lonely and a female approaches, he buys her a drink, so far OK for you all

 

A little later he is tired after a long flight and the lady offers him a massage  still ok

 

Later the massage turns into a consensual sex session. no money passes so OK I presume

 

 

A business man returns home and buys his wife a big diamond ring US$100,000 equates to one percent of his bonus, and only petty cash to him

 

That night the wife gives passionate sex, which the man is expecting

 

So the Thai lady and big executives wife are morally very much the same, except the Thai lady does what she has to so as to feed her children and parents

 

Maybe the Thai lady more moral and honerable

The enigma of the sexes and morality...

...?