Support for ex-girlfriend?

[Elkski]

But good sex isn't hard to find.  

Great sex and it's definitions needs its own topic.   That's more rare to find.  

But for average looking man with average game good sex  with a good woman is not hard to find.   I think another reason men look at Thailand is that most Thai Women treat their men with more care than farang women.  They appreciate a farang man more than farang woman

  

Why would a man stick with a pot throwing tantrum woman  even if sex is super?   It is to bad it took 10 years to learn.  But also people change much.  And more so in our younger years.  

[Goong Ying]

On 9/26/2017 at 9:14 PM, Elkski said:

Didn't you read the OP message where he said she holds a grudge.  She gets violent.  OP has even determined  her violent triggers.  She is a picky eater and grumpy when hungry or had 2+ beers.  She gets violent and refuses to change for more than a couple days.   

 

When i read OMF's description about just this above, it could be his ex has Borderline Personality Disorder.  Abandonment at a young age often causes it and emotional and relationship maturity ceases from that point on.

Just one symptom is;- Love you - hate you - love you,  etc.  Q- How do you spell hungry?  A- Angry.     Morbid jealousy, Paranoid anxiety, Un-forgiveness, judgemental. Most horrible monster ever given breath sometimes,  then Soooo lovely.

You name it, my Thai wife has it all but I'm trapped and OMF isn't,  and he's sensibly easing himself out of it. 

 

Edit- Any posts expressing interest in OMF's ex surely haven't read all his posts and might well remember -  "fools rush in where angels fear to tread"

 

[samran]

On 20/10/2017 at 6:32 AM, Goong Ying said:

When i read OMF's description about just this above, it could be his ex has Borderline Personality Disorder.  Abandonment at a young age often causes it and emotional and relationship maturity ceases from that point on.

Just one symptom is;- Love you - hate you - love you,  etc.  Q- How do you spell hungry?  A- Angry.     Morbid jealousy, Paranoid anxiety, Un-forgiveness, judgemental. Most horrible monster ever given breath sometimes,  then Soooo lovely.

You name it, my Thai wife has it all but I'm trapped and OMF isn't,  and he's sensibly easing himself out of it. 

 

Edit- Any posts expressing interest in OMF's ex surely haven't read all his posts and might well remember -  "fools rush in where angels fear to tread"

 

Run, run for the hills. 

 

With these disorders the only option for a rational person who values their sanity is to cut off all contact. 

[MaeJoMTB]

On 10/1/2017 at 2:58 AM, Elkski said:

But good sex isn't hard to find.  

Great sex and it's definitions needs its own topic.   That's more rare to find.  

But for average looking man with average game good sex  with a good woman is not hard to find.  

What if you're over 60 and living in the UK?

I didn't know any guys over 40 in the UK getting much sex, even their wife wouldn't bang them.

 

[samran]

1 hour ago, MaeJoMTB said:

Breach of trust would be my pal hiding his 'gayness' from me for 40 years.

(If I were stupid enough to not be able to spot gay from 100m)

Call me stupid. But sexuality wasn’t the issue. Though their need to become a ‘non sexual boyfriend’ did raise eyebrows. My wife (mother of my three children) REALLY appriciate that one. But the BPD person doesn’t care. 

 

The issue was being made a convient battering ram for all of the suffers pain and angst. And they just expect you just to sit there, smile and take it. 

 

You meet selfish and narcisitc people in life, but never to this degree. And they cover it so well.

 

And we know of course that dealing with these people is constantly about walking on eggshells. One wrong word, and they’d lose the plot. Don’t get their own way....watch out. 

 

You are never left alone. They need help but instead about going about sabotaging relationships, which is cruel. 

 

As I said, run for the hills, lick your wounds and then get on enjoying life without a constant negative force around you.

 

unless the stalk you on TV of course!  Most people find stalkers, well, creepy. 

 

[OneMoreFarang]

It's interesting to see where this discussion is going. Borderline Personality Disorder - or maybe not? Only a bad amateur psychologist would try to diagnose a person from far away with very little information. Lot of us have some "issues" and maybe there is a medical term for it. Or maybe not, it does not really matter.

 

For me and my situation here I can just say that we both changed over time, like basically all people. And we changed in different directions. And for me, after looking at this for some time, and trying this and that, I just don't see a happy future for this relationship anymore. So we better split now instead of a year or two later - it's just not getting better.

 

And with all changes in life the involved people think about their past and their unknown future and people worry what will come next. That's a stress situation and obviously some people can handle that better and cooler than others. That is just human nature.

 

The latest update: She is willing to go but only if I pay her 20k per month forever. I told her that won't happen. We are still negotiating. I would be happier if this situation would be over by now but obviously it takes time, especially for her, to get used to the new situation. Let's see...

[MaeJoMTB]

19 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

The latest update: She is willing to go but only if I pay her 20k per month forever. I told her that won't happen. We are still negotiating. I would be happier if this situation would be over by now but obviously it takes time, especially for her, to get used to the new situation. Let's see...

She's 27,  she'll have a new foreign bf in a week (if she hasn't already), give her nothing.

If you live in a rented place just move, no forwarding address, if you own the apartment call security and have her escorted out.

 

She's already lived off you for 10 years.

Some guys are just born doormats.

[xylophone]

13 hours ago, NeverStop said:

By the gutlessly running for the hills and other antics like suspending personal contact, then you are basically aggravating the personality traits that you find objectionable instead of dealign with it through compassion and friendship.

If he finds the relationship is toxic and he wants no part of it any more then he is best off out of it, not staying and trying to be a "therapist"!!

 

Too many years wasted and lives ruined by trying to put right that which he has no control over.

 

Settle on a financial payment and split.......that's the only way. 

[samran]

33 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

It's interesting to see where this discussion is going. Borderline Personality Disorder - or maybe not? Only a bad amateur psychologist would try to diagnose a person from far away with very little information. Lot of us have some "issues" and maybe there is a medical term for it. Or maybe not, it does not really matter.

 

For me and my situation here I can just say that we both changed over time, like basically all people. And we changed in different directions. And for me, after looking at this for some time, and trying this and that, I just don't see a happy future for this relationship anymore. So we better split now instead of a year or two later - it's just not getting better.

 

And with all changes in life the involved people think about their past and their unknown future and people worry what will come next. That's a stress situation and obviously some people can handle that better and cooler than others. That is just human nature.

 

The latest update: She is willing to go but only if I pay her 20k per month forever. I told her that won't happen. We are still negotiating. I would be happier if this situation would be over by now but obviously it takes time, especially for her, to get used to the new situation. Let's see...

It is their way of setting up a channel for never ceasing negotiation and opportunity for you to be their battering ram. It is their modus operandi whether they know it or not.

 

At least with BPD while not pleasant it is almost understandable they have no control over it.

 

If it isn’t BPD, then you use another term. They’re @rsewholes and their behavior is deliberate. 

 

Either way, no point in enabling them. 

[samran]

32 minutes ago, xylophone said:

If he finds the relationship is toxic and he wants no part of it any more then he is best off out of it, not staying and trying to be a "therapist"!!

 

Too many years wasted and lives ruined by trying to put right that which he has no control over.

 

Settle on a financial payment and split.......that's the only way. 

Indeed, they avoid therapists as they stymie their ability to manipulate. 

 

Their responses to dealing with what others would define as normal rejection (eg ‘sorry this proposed idea isn’t right for me’ or ‘sorry I can’t come with you’ or ‘that’s not a good idea’) equates devlopmentally at best to an early teen. 

 

Best just to walk away. Notch it up to one of life’s experiences. Reassess and then move on. You never know, your experiences will mean you have a great party story one day to tell. 

 

Surprising that I’ve since come across many people who have had the same experiences. Plenty of people will be understanding of having to deal with this insidious mindset and that the only real option for a sane person is just to walk away. No one will blame you and you certainly shouldn’t be blaming yourself. That is what they want.