Questions about getting old in Thailand.... personal things

[ghworker2010]

Im fast approaching middle age and finding that Im not sleeping very well here in Thailand. I often wake up in the wee hours and can't stop thinking about things. I can't get back to sleep.

 

A lot of the respected members on this forum are in their 60s and 70s and thus I would like to know how many hours per night on average do you get?

 

I feel my level of happiness is also slowly going down as I get older. Im getting angry all the time at little things. Is this normal when you get older. I read about a guy on this forum that has a mantra that he says to himself everytime he gets angry:  'I need to lower my expectations'.   'I need to lower my expectations'  'I need to lower my expectations'

 

I now say that to myself as soon as I get the shits about something.

 

Finally, what about your libido? From 50 onwards do you find yourself less interested? 

 

 

[superglue]

I am 69yo & am in physical pain from an injury 24/7.

When I was young 8+ hours/night was the norm.

Now, I sleep intermittently 2-3 hours per night.

Living a sedentary lifestyle, this is satisfactory for me.

Decreasing 'happiness'/satisfaction is not abnormal.

In my opinion, lower your expectations is a good idea.

Libido - the relationship I have with my wife is more one of friendship (she is 31 years younger than me).

Edited October 2, 2017 by superglue

[theguyfromanotherforum]

I am 44 and way less angry then when I was in my 20's and 30's. Yes, I used to wake up a lot and think about things all the time. Perhaps you worry about your future here? 

 

 

[simon43]

I tend to wake up in the middle of the night - this stems from many years of work at a 24/7 hotel, where I would often get up 3 or 4 times throughout the night. I'm 58 years old.

 

Rather than fight this insomnia, I embrace it.  If I wake up in the wee small hours, I read a book, think about how good my life is, think through any problems, watch TV and then doze for a few hours.  (I find dozing just as good as deep sleep).

 

I used to get stressed and angry when living with my wives (well, one at a time!).  I stressed over things that I couldn't change.  Now I stress over nothing!  If I can't change it, then why worry about it?  Accept every day as it comes and enjoy your life. What's the point in getting angry and raising your blood pressure?

 

As to libido, my libido has always been rather low. I don't get stressed over it, (especially since women have been the source of many of my previous problems LoL).

Edited October 2, 2017 by simon43

[sirineou]

To the OP

All Par for the course my friend, 

As for Libido, , as you are testosterone production goes down and affects libido, It can be liberating, but if it is an issue,you might want o see a doctor concerning testosterone replacement.

Edited October 2, 2017 by sirineou

[catman20]

sleep about 10,30pm wake about 6am takes me minutes to get to sleep and sleep like a baby i also grab an hours nap about 3,30pm. libido as strong as ever pardon the pun, but it help if you have more than one lady in the frame so to speak.

[tutsiwarrior]

I've been retired for a year, 67 y.o. and my sleep has increased from 3 - 4hrs to 7 - 8hrs per night due to less stress and etc...I've started exercising regularly with a static bike and this helps as well...useta havta sleep during the day but no longer...

 

I don't get angry as much as before, sorta go with the flow more but I've become much more impatient...minor things like computer delays or idiots holding up traffic piss me off temporarily more frequently...potential long term problems I can handle better than before; I don't get upset but just keep an eye on things...

 

my libido is still strong but I'm diabetic and have been dysfunctional for over 10 years...I don't miss the intimacy as it causes fewer problems...plus, I had a good party when I was vital and now have a vast mental archive of pleasing images, etc...

 

 

[dotpoom]

1 hour ago, sirineou said:

To the OP

All Par for the course my friend, 

As for Libido, , as you are testosterone production goes down and affects libido, It can be liberating, but if it is an issue,you might want o see a doctor concerning testosterone replacement.

I sleep less than ever but I accept this as to be expected. I will be 68 next Saturday and started taking testerone treatment about 4 months ago to try and recitify the things the OP istalking about.....no change.

   One good thing however that I have learned during my time on this planet... I have come through a hugh tragedy that I felt for sure would make life never worth living ever again....but miracleously,  I have learned how to "carry the load". Not only that, it awakned me to what are the really important things in life and not the B/S small things I had been focusing on before that I used to make my priority.

    My secret for happiness....." Live with an attitude of gratitude" and never forget where I came from.

    I guess really, that tragedy I spoke about earlier......has turned out to be my "greatest" asset..

  PS. I have a contant companion for support....A HP ( higher power) I call God.

Edited October 2, 2017 by dotpoom

[helloagain]

1 hour ago, ghworker2010 said:

Im fast approaching middle age and finding that Im not sleeping very well here in Thailand. I often wake up in the wee hours and can't stop thinking about things. I can't get back to sleep.

 

A lot of the respected members on this forum are in their 60s and 70s and thus I would like to know how many hours per night on average do you get?

 

I feel my level of happiness is also slowly going down as I get older. Im getting angry all the time at little things. Is this normal when you get older. I read about a guy on this forum that has a mantra that he says to himself everytime he gets angry:  'I need to lower my expectations'.   'I need to lower my expectations'  'I need to lower my expectations'

 

I now say that to myself as soon as I get the shits about something.

 

Finally, what about your libido? From 50 onwards do you find yourself less interested? 

 

 

I am 64.5 and go bed around 9.30 to 10pm. I get up between 1 and 2.30 am cant sleep anymore. I look tv intil tired again then sleep on sofa. Normally wake up after 1 to 1.5 hours later look tv again. Rode on motorbike at 7am with wife then back for breakfast. Might have a nap around 9am. Yes i get angry the way they drive here. I find foriengers get angry easily. Yes lost interest with other 5555. Now i want bigger holidays with wife im lucky i can afford. Not easy to make friends cos i not smoke and not really drink so not like bar much sit next to some ar**ho** who loves smoking and has 5 or 6 beers. Yes wife and computer are best friends. 

[nobodysfriend]

 

Getting older is no fun ... but just ignore all the idiots around , do your thing and enjoy without worrying .. it could be worse , no ?

 

Libido ?   I do not see a change for me ... oh wait , there seem to be much less sexy women around ...?

 

[Baerboxer]

1 hour ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

I am 44 and way less angry then when I was in my 20's and 30's. Yes, I used to wake up a lot and think about things all the time. Perhaps you worry about your future here? 

 

 

 

I was the same. More angry in my 20's and early 30's; lot calmer in my 40's and to late 50's. Now, just a grumpy old git!

 

But I think any foreigner must be worried about their future here. Things can change completely in the blink of eye. And nowt we can do about it.

[thaikahuna]

I'm 65, married to my wife for 5 years and been together for 8 years. I am also a PTSD patient, so a good nights sleep is almost unheard of for me. My problem is getting up 2-3 times a night to go pee. Getting older is not easy and adapting to the rapidly changing environment we live in makes things that much harder. I think growing old, becoming less healthy and dying (possibly alone) in a foreign country is a concern for many. Evaluate your situation, rely on the advice and counsel of some trusted friends and do what is best for you.

[tonray]

1 hour ago, catman20 said:

sleep about 10,30pm wake about 6am takes me minutes to get to sleep and sleep like a baby i also grab an hours nap about 3,30pm. libido as strong as ever pardon the pun, but it help if you have more than one lady in the frame so to speak.

Is it OK to hate you but in a nice way? 

[Aussieroaming]

54yrs old, sleep on average 5 or 6 hours a night, usually wake up a couple of times. My libido is fine, typical married man's sex life, which i am happy with. Occassionally have restless nights but find a cold room helps. I exercise every day, 7 days a week which helps in many ways. Always do minimum of 10km on the tredmill a day, normal target is 20km. Sometimes i run and sometimes i walk and watch youtube videos on the ipad.I'm not to bothered about the time it takes, just the distance, hence the 6 hours sleep as i do the first 10 at 4am before i start work. Nighttime work usually finished by 9:30 pm. I find the nighttime exercise stops the need to get back up to urinate, a bit of dehydration. I think exercise helps to ward off depression and also encourages no drinking.

[1FinickyOne]

Sleep patterns have changed noticeably - I still have to pee only once every night, just that it takes me 3 different times to accomplish it... and sometimes when I wake at night, I stay up for a couple of hours. 

 

Yes, things change - but I find that I am somewhat more accepting and tolerant of most things, though I have less patience for others and that is mostly in the area of people - negative people and drunks bore me and I won't hang around for it, though people in general and their stories and life experiences often fascinate me... so, maybe all in all, loving life but being much more discriminating... 

[LostinSEA]

3 hours ago, ghworker2010 said:

Im fast approaching middle age and finding that Im not sleeping very well here in Thailand. I often wake up in the wee hours and can't stop thinking about things. I can't get back to sleep.

 

A lot of the respected members on this forum are in their 60s and 70s and thus I would like to know how many hours per night on average do you get?

 

I feel my level of happiness is also slowly going down as I get older. Im getting angry all the time at little things. Is this normal when you get older. I read about a guy on this forum that has a mantra that he says to himself everytime he gets angry:  'I need to lower my expectations'.   'I need to lower my expectations'  'I need to lower my expectations'

 

I now say that to myself as soon as I get the shits about something.

 

Finally, what about your libido? From 50 onwards do you find yourself less interested? 

 

 

Mate I'm exactly the same, 51 years young, 4-5 hours sleep is a good night & I lose my rag at the slightest thing...

 

Last time it happened (Kid you not, Business class cabin waiting to exit the plane) I had a long chat with myself and swore it will never happen again... 6 weeks so far so good :)

 

[Bundooman]

3 hours ago, ghworker2010 said:

Im fast approaching middle age and finding that Im not sleeping very well here in Thailand. I often wake up in the wee hours and can't stop thinking about things. I can't get back to sleep.

 

A lot of the respected members on this forum are in their 60s and 70s and thus I would like to know how many hours per night on average do you get?

 

I feel my level of happiness is also slowly going down as I get older. Im getting angry all the time at little things. Is this normal when you get older. I read about a guy on this forum that has a mantra that he says to himself everytime he gets angry:  'I need to lower my expectations'.   'I need to lower my expectations'  'I need to lower my expectations'

 

I now say that to myself as soon as I get the shits about something.

 

Finally, what about your libido? From 50 onwards do you find yourself less interested? 

 

 

I am 73. I keep fit, 20 minutes exercise at 4.50am, 30 minutes on the treadmill in the evenings after dinner. I do a fair amount of exercise by walking, chores such as gardening and getting around doing stuff throughout the working day.

 

If I drink one or maybe more bottles of beer in one night, or, maybe one or two Whiskey sodas, then I have a restless night and get up for a pee maybe twice. Pepsi or Coca cola keep me awake most of the night. (I assume the other sugar laden/caffeine drinks do the same). I don't drink it.

 

If I don't drink alcohol, or other drinks such as above, and drink only water, between Monday and Thursday, I sleep 7/8 hours - deep, restful sleep and don't get up to pee. I always feel good in the mornings with that routine.

 

My libido is OK, but sometimes it isn't so good. But hey, I'm knocking on. I can't have everything. I have a happy life, I am around young people a lot and they help keep me young and interested in life. My younger female partner and I are very close - been together for nine years. No obvious problems. Her family is great. I speak and understand a little Thai.

 

If everything went to ratsh-t. I would change course and do something else. You make your own happiness in this life and I hasten to add, I am not a wealthy, (moneywise), person but I am careful with money. I still have my dreams for the future, I don't worry about things, I smile a lot, deliberately refuse to get grumpy over trivial stuff which us older people tend to do towards the younger generations and if I reflect on that - overall, I have a fairly contented life.

 

I am also lucky in that I don't suffer from the heat, (quite the opposite), I thoroughly enjoy Thai food, willingly smile at all Thais, (it pays dividends), and finally, I try really hard not to criticize about the Asian way, too much. 

 

There you go. you asked, and this is my opinion. I hope it is of help to you.

[sinbin]

3 hours ago, ghworker2010 said:

Im fast approaching middle age and finding that Im not sleeping very well here in Thailand. I often wake up in the wee hours and can't stop thinking about things. I can't get back to sleep.

 

A lot of the respected members on this forum are in their 60s and 70s and thus I would like to know how many hours per night on average do you get?

 

I feel my level of happiness is also slowly going down as I get older. Im getting angry all the time at little things. Is this normal when you get older. I read about a guy on this forum that has a mantra that he says to himself everytime he gets angry:  'I need to lower my expectations'.   'I need to lower my expectations'  'I need to lower my expectations'

 

I now say that to myself as soon as I get the shits about something.

 

Finally, what about your libido? From 50 onwards do you find yourself less interested? 

 

 

 You are suffering from anxiety/depression. I suggest a visit to a Psychiatrist and get help. Seriously. Been there done that.

Edited October 2, 2017 by sinbin

[ghworker2010]

24 minutes ago, LostinSEA said:

Mate I'm exactly the same, 51 years young, 4-5 hours sleep is a good night & I lose my rag at the slightest thing...

 

Last time it happened (Kid you not, Business class cabin waiting to exit the plane) I had a long chat with myself and swore it will never happen again... 6 weeks so far so good :)

 

what happened on the plane? Please share

[ghworker2010]

16 minutes ago, Bundooman said:

I am 73. I keep fit, 20 minutes exercise at 4.50am, 30 minutes on the treadmill in the evenings after dinner. I do a fair amount of exercise by walking, chores such as gardening and getting around doing stuff throughout the working day.

 

If I drink one or maybe more bottles of beer in one night, or, maybe one or two Whiskey sodas, then I have a restless night and get up for a pee maybe twice. Pepsi or Coca cola keep me awake most of the night. (I assume the other sugar laden/caffeine drinks do the same). I don't drink it.

 

If I don't drink alcohol, or other drinks such as above, and drink only water, between Monday and Thursday, I sleep 7/8 hours - deep, restful sleep and don't get up to pee. I always feel good in the mornings with that routine.

 

My libido is OK, but sometimes it isn't so good. But hey, I'm knocking on. I can't have everything. I have a happy life, I am around young people a lot and they help keep me young and interested in life. My younger female partner and I are very close - been together for nine years. No obvious problems. Her family is great. I speak and understand a little Thai.

 

If everything went to ratsh-t. I would change course and do something else. You make your own happiness in this life and I hasten to add, I am not a wealthy, (moneywise), person but I am careful with money. I still have my dreams for the future, I don't worry about things, I smile a lot, deliberately refuse to get grumpy over trivial stuff which us older people tend to do towards the younger generations and if I reflect on that - overall, I have a fairly contented life.

 

I am also lucky in that I don't suffer from the heat, (quite the opposite), I thoroughly enjoy Thai food, willingly smile at all Thais, (it pays dividends), and finally, I try really hard not to criticize about the Asian way, too much. 

 

There you go. you asked, and this is my opinion. I hope it is of help to you.

I liked your reply. I try to smile at Thais as well. You remind me that I shouldn't criticize the asian lifestyle over here. Its wrong to do this

 

[OmarZaid]

Have a look here, this is likely to be of some help:

https://zaidpub.com/2017/06/23/how-sunlight-can-save-your-life-part-1/

 

This loss of temper can be an early sign of Multiple Sclerosis, I suffered it for 20 years before i finally had a full blown collapse almost 2 years ago.  Am doing fine now. Am 67, and still put a smile on my wife's face weekly.

 

all the best

[Thingamabob]

75 years old, never slept more than 4 hours a night. Libido now modest but still there. ,Occasionally depressed. Important to stay as active, mentally and physically, as possible.

[sinbin]

6 minutes ago, ghworker2010 said:

I liked your reply. I try to smile at Thais as well. You remind me that I shouldn't criticize the asian lifestyle over here. Its wrong to do this

 

Thai driving standards are okay then?

[sanmyn]

Getting old for sure! I am 82 now; have lived in Naklua for over 20 years and live alone.

I head for bed about 9:30-10:00, sleep about five hours, play on IPad for an hour, then go back to sleep until about seven. 

I eat early and light; i get indegestion with red meat so stick to noodles and fish. 

I find myself getting angry easily over small things. Sometimes I'll even throw a stapeler or small object across the room. 

I stay relatively happy and love living in Thailand. Libido?, not much left. I still have girlfriends from Bangkok but can't do sex anymore. I wish I could. 

But I get good massages & happy endings and go out frequently with friends. 

I find that good sleep definitely improves my day.

[Lucky mike]

Very Buddhist the only constant is change ! You have to be able to accept change and be thankful for what you have. Try to be a giver not a taker . I try to reach out every day and try to help somebody.  Keep your mind and body as active as you can, eat healthy all good for libido...enjoy the trip no one gets out alive...love peace and happiness to you all.......

[Kinnock]

I'm still working full time, and working in multiple time zones plus regular long haul trips means I'm lucky to sleep more than 3-4 hours in a stretch, and I know this can make be irritable - so for me; sleep is directly related to mood. 

 

I almost never get angry at people (I reserve the right to get pissy at airport 'jobsworths'), but equipment, especially laptops and printers, drive me nuts, especially when short of sleep.  I've been through several (expensive) tablet computers by throwing them around the office/home/hotel rooms, and the office team are entertained regularly by me throwing shoes at the printer, which has taken a personal dislike to me and refuses to print any of my work.

 

But - when I get a decent nights sleep - nothing riles me and I feel much more positive.  I've found that exercise really helps with sleeping and my mood.  I cycle and run whenever I can, and if I can do this twice a week, I stay in a positive mood and my laptop replacement bill is zero.  A modest run of 5K twice a week is enough (two laps of Lumpini Park), or a cycle of 10K - which takes about the same length of time, but is kinder to my knees.  Exercise also has a direct, positive impact on my libido.  The other thing I've found that disturbs sleep is checking messages on the mobile at night.  

[bazza73]

Sleep disorder due to depression is quite common in middle age. I've been on medication for it for 25 years now, started with high doses and now on the minimum dosage for the last 15 years. Breaking the cycle of the mind revving like a Ferrari is important - see a doctor.

In my seventies, I have an afternoon nap. Sleep at night is interrupted by the necessity to pee several times, I've learned not to worry about it and just accept it. You do need less sleep as you get older.

I've learned a daily alcohol intake is not good for me. I abstain from Monday to Thursday, and have a few over the weekend. Bear in mind alcohol is a depressant.

Massage is good, although not for everybody. As for sex, go for it if you feel like it. I don't have a target frequency in mind - everyone is different.

[Rockhopper]

I am 72 years old and have lived here for 5 years. I play pickleball (Google it) 3 times a week. I get happier every day.  When something bothers me I figure out ways to get around the problem or say to myself while shaking my head and smiling, "It's a Thai thing." Studying the Thai language with a cute teacher is fun even though I have no short-term memory and don't remember much. I can read and write Thai but I don't know what it means. Life here is a great adventure! 

[sinbin]

19 minutes ago, sanmyn said:

Getting old for sure! I am 82 now; have lived in Naklua for over 20 years and live alone.

I head for bed about 9:30-10:00, sleep about five hours, play on IPad for an hour, then go back to sleep until about seven. 

I eat early and light; i get indegestion with red meat so stick to noodles and fish. 

I find myself getting angry easily over small things. Sometimes I'll even throw a stapeler or small object across the room. 

I stay relatively happy and love living in Thailand. Libido?, not much left. I still have girlfriends from Bangkok but can't do sex anymore. I wish I could. 

But I get good massages & happy endings and go out frequently with friends. 

I find that good sleep definitely improves my day.

Best post I've read in a long time. Thanks for sharing mate.

[Chip Allen]

I'm sixty seven and I am happy to report that life SUCKS at ANY age. It's just a matter of degree. You're welcome. I enjoy living here and I am glad I could live out my final years in a country like Thailand. I don't give too much thought to pain and suffering because they are a constant at any stage of life. I was suffering from  back pain in my thirties. It's only slightly worse now and mitigated by painkillers. FInd things to be HAPPY about and forget the downers. Cheers, mate.