Please, I need help taking my bf out of IDC/thailand

[toyboy]

woha!!!

I'm surprised, I was afraid maybe my post wasn't going to have anyone in the mood to answer, but you really made my day, thank you a lot a lot/

I know part of the confusion about that "he" or "her" is because I didn't explain too much,  I was thinking it could lead to easy jokes,  because yes, I'm a man, 

and I hope you don't lose interest in helping or start to the fun because you have to think the difficult this situation can be for a minority of a minority (gay+african).

To these referred to me as "she" or "sister", no worries, it was my mistake.

But let's focus on the important thing... first... the scam possibility...

We have been in a relationship for 4 years, well, i just spend in Bangkok 5 months every year, but contact is constant and real.

I know what is mugu, and in fact, he told me about it, not because he is involved, just because being black and as I said in a minority, there is always a friend of a friend that explains

about it. He knows my way of thinking, he knows I would never fall for such scams for love, so the chance is minimum, BUT as there is a chance, and I really 

have to work hard for my money, I'm traveling there to check, of course, the main reason is to help him and to see him, but also to see with my own eyes whats going on.

 

Thanks again to the posters explaining about the food and meetings procedure, one of his friends told me she put 1000 bath in his account, and he got 5 blankets.

 

You all are right about the strange way I was informed the first day and is what keeps me thinking and thinking...

All I can say is... 

- it was a real cell... he was alone, he was scared, but all that doesn't explain much as can be a show.

- he was calling with his own phone, with his own LINE account. he said he was 2 days already arrested, he was moved to several prisons, and the most strange, 

he had his own laptop with him. but no battery. he also said his phone was going soon out of battery, guards took his phone as he entered prison, and let him call friends after

2 days, but <deleted> about the laptop, is nonsense....

-he had 2 teeth missing, just before call stopped he showed to me, didn't have time to explain. 2 days later his friend told me (i didn't say anything before) that he was hard beaten.

 

As i don't trust easily people, and more in this situation, I asked too much to his friend, she blamed i just have to put money in the account of his friend (as she doesn't have a passport), 

that made more confused and we stopped connection till now, so now there is no way for me to know anything, if is true or not, if he is dead or alive, nothing.

 

I know I said already several times, but please try not to make this a judgment (about us as a couple, or about what I should do to my life), just try to give me advice, help or at least hope 

by your experiences.

 

oh, i forgot, about my staying there... I can only afford 2 weeks hotel and his fight, I cant think about making it longer if the process gets longer, so that's because I said i don't want to mistake

. and please please i will say clearly, this is NOT a scam, im NOT asking money, but sure your explanation of how should i do worths more than money.

 

thanks a lot!

Regards.

 

[toyboy]

please, i keep reading speculations about if he loves me or not, and I feel insulted, I'm not 18 years old, im 36, I been in couple since i was 16, so i know when someone pretends, 

I tried not to talk too much about my private life, but this is pointless, if someone still doubts about us because he is African or because we live far half part of the year, i can inform 

him (in private) about details that possibly teach what makes someone believe another person loves, ok?

I hope that topic is closed.

thankyou

[overherebc]

7 minutes ago, toyboy said:

please, i keep reading speculations about if he loves me or not, and I feel insulted, I'm not 18 years old, im 36, I been in couple since i was 16, so i know when someone pretends, 

I tried not to talk too much about my private life, but this is pointless, if someone still doubts about us because he is African or because we live far half part of the year, i can inform 

him (in private) about details that possibly teach what makes someone believe another person loves, ok?

I hope that topic is closed.

thankyou

Quick point. 

You are never alone in IDC.

It is not so much a prison as a holding area until you are put on a plane.

You don't have a phone or a laptop.

Your only contact with the outside world is via visits from friends or your government rep etc etc.

I would tell you how I know but some people may have already guessed that.

[007 RED]

OP... Thank you for your further explanation.. I think the advice given by me, and a number of other posters, was to beware of so called 'love' scams which have been much in the news here recently... that is now clearly not the case in your situation.

 

Regarding his video call to you, I suspect that may well have taken place before he was transferred to IDC in Bangkok.  There they take aaway mobiles, tablets or laptops from the detainees.  His only contact now will be by normal landline phone and he will have to pay for calls.

 

As I posted earlier you will be able to visit him at the IDC in Bangkok.  You can take him food and ask to deposit money into his account so that he can buy some addition items from the 'shop' which is inside the centre.  If you want to assist him with funding his flight I suggest that you speak to the guards - surprisingly they can be helpful.

 

Regarding his departure.  Once a flight has been paid for, IDC will make arrangements to transport him to the airport the day before departure and he will be held in the airport detention facility (which is slightly more civilised) until his flight is ready for boarding.  You will not be able to have access to him at the airport.

 

Good luck and please keep us informed as to the outcome.

 

 

Edited October 25, 2017 by 007 RED
Typo

[Aditi Sharma]

37 minutes ago, 007 RED said:

I was always lead to believe that chai-paani means "tea and water" and is Indian slang for going out for a cup of tea or a tasty bite/snack.  When I was working in Maharashtra a good few years ago bribes were always referred to as  rishwat, bahsheesh, ghoos or hafta.

The other words always had a negative connotation for me, brother, and they mean different things as well,  it is always chai paani for me, a little money for tea and sympathy :-)  

[Aditi Sharma]

23 minutes ago, toyboy said:

because you have to think the difficult this situation can be for a minority of a minority (gay+african).

It sounds rather disingenuous of you to say this, I think, perhaps, unless you meant the world of this forum after you have made your revelation. Two people who love each other in public will always be in a minority, the other couples are hardly noticed, much less hounded. 

[overherebc]

3 hours ago, Aditi Sharma said:

1. This is a brilliant suggestion. But since it can be safely assumed that the OP and her BF were not of the same nationality, she would have to speak to his consulate, right? Do most consulates consider this kind of arrangement?

 

2. How long do you reckon it can get at a guess?

Most Embassies and Consulates are reluctant to get involved when someone has been convicted of such an offence ( overstay ) Some will be willing to contact relatives in the respective home countries but understandably they cannot get involved with any other aspects of the case. They cannot get involved with the Thai legal system and there is no reason why they should.

Edited October 25, 2017 by overherebc

[Aditi Sharma]

25 minutes ago, overherebc said:

Most Embassies and Consulates are reluctant to get involved when someone has been convicted of such an offence ( overstay ) Some will be willing to contact relatives in the respective home countries but understandably they cannot get involved with any other aspects of the case. They cannot get involved with the Thai legal system and there is no reason why they should.

According to the Wikipedia, an "embassy, [is] the office of a country's diplomatic representatives in the capital city of another country, whereas consulates are diplomatic missions which are not performed in the capital of the receiving state." Since Bangkok is the capital and the OP's ( original poster) boyfriend's country - which remained un-mentioned by the OP - is only represented by a consulate, I wonder if that consulate is located outside Bangkok and why. Why hasn't that country got an embassy in Bangkok? Dont you ( the reader) think it odd that the country should not have a mission in the capital of the Kingdom? My point is how can such a consulate provide any help to the OP's boyfriend in a situation like this? I think overherebc is absolutely right in saying that they would not want to get involved with the system, I think, for fear of falling afoul of the law here and being asked to leave the Kingdom with the OP's boyfriend. 

 

Edited October 25, 2017 by Aditi Sharma
close quotes

[Psimbo]

changed

Edited October 25, 2017 by Psimbo
didn't read the small print!

[toyboy]

Aditi: no dear, please don't get me wrong, I'm so happy with your help and other members of the forum, you really encourage me now and give me hope, 

I spent two weeks depressed in my room because even my friends don't listen to me, but you made me strong.

 

I meant... i don't have any idea how the legal system works in Thailand, i just know the everyday common situations in street, bribes, etc (every country have that, 

even mine), so im afraid being 2 guys couple can make things more difficult, for example i know here just close relatives can meet prisoners.

 

On another side, sadly we have to recognize there is a little bit of xenophobia about black people in Thailand. OF COURSE not everybody speak bad about them,

but what I see from authorities being close to my bf last 4 years is ... let's call it "unpleasant". Sure some blacks illegal immigrants give the bad reputation because of their dirty business...

but my experience says blacks seem like dealers and whites like money bills walking by most of people

 

In absolute ignorance, I think that maybe those details can put a handicap more to an early solution

 

 

 

 

 

 

but 

please I hope I didn't make anyone feel bad, i repeat i love Thailand, maybe i just had the wrong experience, and if it helps, in my country is not better, so please don't take it like an attack. 

 

i hope we do not miss the main issue... my target is just put him on a plane back home, I'm getting to the idea i won't hug him or say "good flight" in the airport, but i can give my life if in exchange he can 

get out of that hole.

[Aditi Sharma]

4 minutes ago, toyboy said:

so im afraid being 2 guys couple can make things more difficult, for example i know here just close relatives can meet prisoners.

You got me there, luv, how do you intend to follow up then, what will you tell the guards at the IDC? That you are his friend? Hell! Hang on. 

[toyboy]

007RED thankyou a lot, now i see things more clear...

I guess I'll show up the first morning after i land at the center, ask for him and bring food same time, then ask guards about how to buy the ticket, right?

If they not provide the way to buy it or is not clear, how many days in advance would be safe to buy?

well I guess a lot of variables involved, but in the best of the cases... (not extra fines, etc)

[Aditi Sharma]

5 hours ago, 007 RED said:

Visitors should only becoming as an individual wanting to help or comfort the detainee and not for any other reason and not for any other reason such as reporter, lawyer or human rights activist. If the staff become aware of any ulterior motive you will be asked to leave immediately and future visitation for the detainee will be jeopardized.

I dont think they will go so far as to ascertain your credentials. 

[toyboy]

well aditi,... is a tricky topic, you know? in one side Thailand is very open to the gay community, on another side, authorities all over the world make 

the fun of us everytime they can, just to show people around how manly they are... and in this, there are few exceptions....

if is just some fun of me and i have to bite my tongue is ok, but if it can handicap, like being blocked off the meeting, I prefer to know in advance and 

try anything... so confusing...

[Aditi Sharma]

Just now, toyboy said:

well aditi,... is a tricky topic, you know? in one side Thailand is very open to the gay community, on another side, authorities all over the world make 

the fun of us everytime they can, just to show people around how manly they are... and in this, there are few exceptions....

if is just some fun of me and i have to bite my tongue is ok, but if it can handicap, like being blocked off the meeting, I prefer to know in advance and 

try anything... so confusing...

My dear if you are not beaten up for being gay then you might be for being his brother. That business will go on...

How will you communicate with the Thai officers? Dont make it obvious to them that you were gay etc and that wretched boyfriend of yours ( for he could not have been anything but) was your partner out of regard for their sentiments in the matter. 

[toyboy]

no way please, I'm absolutely discreet about that, I'm so shy talking about this on a forum, i cannot believe I'm doing it, so, of course i won't go with any rainbow flag, 

i just wanted to know how difficult the guards and other personnel in that place is, to be ready for everything.

[ubonjoe]

33 minutes ago, Aditi Sharma said:

According to the Wikipedia, an "embassy, [is] the office of a country's diplomatic representatives in the capital city of another country, whereas consulates are diplomatic missions which are not performed in the capital of the receiving state." Since Bangkok is the capital and the OP's ( original poster) boyfriend's country - which remained un-mentioned by the OP - is only represented by a consulate, I wonder if that consulate is located outside Bangkok and why. Why hasn't that country got an embassy in Bangkok? Dont you ( the reader) think it odd that the country should not have a mission in the capital of the Kingdom? My point is how can such a consulate provide any help to the OP's boyfriend in a situation like this? I think overherebc is absolutely right in saying that they would not want to get involved with the system, I think, for fear of falling afoul of the law here and being asked to leave the Kingdom with the OP's boyfriend. 

It is not unusual for countries not to have Embassies in all countries. Consulates are often located in the capital of the country where they are located when there is no embassy. In some cases they are only honorary consulates.

Perhaps have a look at this list of countries that have an embassy or a consulate here. http://www.mfa.go.th/main/en/information

You will note that some listed are not located here but serve their citizens while here.

[Aditi Sharma]

3 minutes ago, ubonjoe said:

It is not unusual for countries to have Embassies in all countries. Consulates are often located in the capital of the country where they are located when there is no embassy. In some cases they are only honorary consulates.

Perhaps have a look at this list of countries that have an embassy or a consulate here. http://www.mfa.go.th/main/en/information

You will note that some listed are not located here but serve their citizens while here.

And I gather that a honorary consul is not a career diplomat and for all you know he could be operating from his condo. Not kidding.  

[Aditi Sharma]

2 minutes ago, toyboy said:

no way please, I'm absolutely discreet about that, I'm so shy talking about this on a forum, i cannot believe I'm doing it, so, of course i won't go with any rainbow flag, 

i just wanted to know how difficult the guards and other personnel in that place is, to be ready for everything.

Absolutely, you do just that. Ask someone senior here who knows if you can meet him a friend and you are good. As 007 Red advised, be polite. Just imagine that there is a camera on you and you dont want to look bad. 

[toyboy]

U mean i have to think I'm in big brother?

[Scott]

A few rather nasty posts and replies removed.   I suggest you chose your words carefully and stay on topic.  

[toyboy]

"just weird" that was a great example of helpful information, i am really grateful, i have hopes in this situation (and also faith that there are some smart people in the world after all)

[toyboy]

yes, i understand in IDC there is no chance for a phone, 

but in a temporary prison cell, i wonder if a guard can lend the bag for a minute, 

I'm not trying to make this look probable, im the first one i want to know other points of view, 

because ive been thinking all these things alone for long, and i cant wait the moment to find the truth, 

by now, ill listen to the good advice and ill try with the consulate, I'm going off, 

regards!!

[chickenslegs]

3 hours ago, toyboy said:

... one of his friends told me she put 1000 bath in his account, and he got 5 blankets.

Presumably, this friend is in Thailand. Seems a little odd that you need to ask advice from a group of strangers. Why not ask the friend to find out his current status?

 

He may have been deported already. If not, the friend can find out the procedure for you to pay his air fare out of Thailand.

 

You may not need to travel to Thailand at all and you can use the money you save to buy a ticket to meet him in his own country (you didn't mention which country that is).

[ubonjoe]

I just removed 55 posts that were mostly inflammatory troll posts and the resultant replies.

A repeat of some of them will result in formal warning.

Unhelpful posts will be removed without further notice.

[Wake Up]

On 10/25/2017 at 5:38 PM, Aditi Sharma said:

 

Sir, this is pure speculation but I appreciate it. But what if they loved each other and he was in Thailand for her? You would argue that what I were saying was speculation as well. But we are here to help her and to give him ( and for that matter to her as well with her story) the benefit of the doubt is a polite, equitable, and a civilized thing to do by them. In one place she does say and I quote: " In our opinion, what should I do and in what order?" 

 

I understand your thoughts. I am old and have seen similar scenarios and based on that history and her comments my advice on what to do next is drop the bat and walk away. You have other ideas on what she should do next. IMO if she accepts my advice she will be better for it and he will find another “love” to get him out of the next mess.  If you like to live with a man who constantly creates problems and issues and ignores responsibility then this guy is for you until he finds another girl better for him.   This guy does not love himself so he cannot love her IMO.  But I say some of this through experience so I understand her belief that he loves her. He can be quite convincing in his actions toward others. Take care. 

[007 RED]

19 minutes ago, Wake Up said:

I understand your thoughts. I am old and have seen similar scenarios and based on that history and her comments my advice on what to do next is drop the bat and walk away. You have other ideas on what she should do next. IMO if she accepts my advice she will be better for it and he will find another “love” to get him out of the next mess.  If you like to live with a man who constantly creates problems and issues and ignores responsibility then this guy is for you until he finds another girl better for him.   This guy does not love himself so he cannot love her IMO.  But I say some of this through experience so I understand her belief that he loves her. He can be quite convincing in his actions toward others. Take care. 

Wake Up.... Please go back to the OPs post No.61on page 5 and read it.... May be several times.... She is actually a he and has been in a stable relationship with the person who is detained for quite some time.   Sorry but Wake Up is a good name .

Edited October 27, 2017 by 007 RED

[MobileContent]

On 10/25/2017 at 9:06 PM, toyboy said:

yes, i understand in IDC there is no chance for a phone, 

but in a temporary prison cell, i wonder if a guard can lend the bag for a minute, 

I'm not trying to make this look probable, im the first one i want to know other points of view, 

because ive been thinking all these things alone for long, and i cant wait the moment to find the truth, 

by now, ill listen to the good advice and ill try with the consulate, I'm going off, 

regards!!

Dear OP,
The phones are normally only on Cell 5 and in the private cells (detainees fighting and delaying extradition but sit on millions of Baht). Their is a strong chance that your BF did made the call from Cell 5 but because he didn't had any funds they moved him to Cell 2 or 3 which is hell compared to 5. In cell 2 or 3 are no chances of making another phone call and those detainees have no visitors, no extra food and have no funds to buy even a ticket. Some have been in for years and some didn't even made it.

 

The consulate should be your first option but I would try to call the IDC and my second option would be the UNHCR under +662 056 0000. Give the officer at IDC on the phone the full name, date of birth, passport number, citizenship and tell them you call from Europe to find out more so that you are able to assist and get him out of the mess. The second option would be the UNHCR, especially for countries such as Rwanda, Sudan, etc.

 

If it has been confirmed that your BF is in IDC, buy him a prepaid Visa or Mastercard and put a 100 Euros on it and send it to him via express without the PIN. He will be able to call you again to get the PIN.

 

All the best !!

 

 

[Aditi Sharma]

49 minutes ago, MobileContent said:

Dear OP,
The phones are normally only on Cell 5 and in the private cells (detainees fighting and delaying extradition but sit on millions of Baht). Their is a strong chance that your BF did made the call from Cell 5 but because he didn't had any funds they moved him to Cell 2 or 3 which is hell compared to 5. In cell 2 or 3 are no chances of making another phone call and those detainees have no visitors, no extra food and have no funds to buy even a ticket. Some have been in for years and some didn't even made it.

 

The consulate should be your first option but I would try to call the IDC and my second option would be the UNHCR under +662 056 0000. Give the officer at IDC on the phone the full name, date of birth, passport number, citizenship and tell them you call from Europe to find out more so that you are able to assist and get him out of the mess. The second option would be the UNHCR, especially for countries such as Rwanda, Sudan, etc.

 

If it has been confirmed that your BF is in IDC, buy him a prepaid Visa or Mastercard and put a 100 Euros on it and send it to him via express without the PIN. He will be able to call you again to get the PIN.

 

All the best !!

 

 

Some research this!

How helpful are the folks at the UNHCR, would you know? Can somebody from that agency go along with him?

Giving him a prepaid card with 100 euros on it after he has got out, right, to buy some food and coffee in the airport lounge? He hasnt called since, dont know why. 

 

[Wake Up]

3 hours ago, 007 RED said:

Wake Up.... Please go back to the OPs post No.61on page 5 and read it.... May be several times.... She is actually a he and has been in a stable relationship with the person who is detained for quite some time.   Sorry but Wake Up is a good name .

She or he does not really matter does it? The sex of the partner is irrelevant to the question asked.   If you call this relationship stable then we disagree and you need to use my name and Wake Up LMAO