Animal Husbandry Kiwi Style

[phazey]

A New Zealand hobby farmer buys several sheep, hoping to breed them

for wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are

getting pregnant, and phones a vet for help. The vet tells him that he

should try artificial insemination. The farmer doesn't have the

slightest idea what this means but, not wishing to display his

ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are

pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and

instead will lie down and wallow in grass when they are pregnant.

The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion

that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep

himself. So, he loads the sheep into his Land Rover, drives them out

into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back, and goes to

bed. Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that

they are all still standing around, he deduces that the first try didn't

take, and loads them in the Land Rover again. He drives them out to the

woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back, and

goes to bed exhausted. Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still

just standing round. "Try again." he tells himself, and proceeds to load

them up, and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the

sheep and upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed. The next

morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look out of the

window. He asks his wife to tell him if the sheep are lying in the

grass.

"No," she says, "they're all in the Land Rover, and one of them is

beeping the horn."

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Another Kiwi bites the dust ( so to speak )

[Pink Mist]

And how does a south-pacific soapdodger find a sheep in the long grass??

Bewetifull