Isaan Love Triangle: Thai Men Found Lacking By Farang-Loving Women

[lpladsri]

On ‎11‎/‎30‎/‎2017 at 12:28 PM, Mister Fixit said:

Thai men are lacking in what way? Size of wallet or size of something else ... ?

Most of Thai men are lacking of money and size of??. In most case, money can buy almost every thing accept life.

[Artisi]

On 30/11/2017 at 2:10 PM, atyclb said:

the french guy is actually handsome, slim and young. what does he see in her ????????????

Would a trip to budget spec's help you ?

[mommysboy]

9 hours ago, johncat1 said:

Money is the initial motivator and attraction But when the money runs out how many Thai women stick around ?. VERY FEW 

BUT saying that I had money when I first came to Thailand but my first Thai wife soon put an end to that. Several years later I met a women who was university educated and worked in a government office We are still together after 7 years despite being almost broke.

SO yes in short, there are still many good Thai women out there who do not put money first.

You've really contradicted yourself here, but I know what you mean

[atyclb]

6 hours ago, Artisi said:

Would a trip to budget spec's help you ?

budget specs to see him or her?

[Artisi]

8 hours ago, atyclb said:

budget specs to see him or her?

Both I would suggest. 

[SantiSuk]

Thank God that money attracts women. God knows I've got little else to offer!

 

 

 

 

Not true but why spoil a good line.

[Artisi]

1 hour ago, SantiSuk said:

Thank God that money attracts women. God knows I've got little else to offer!

 

 

 

 

Not true but why spoil a good line.

Lucky me,  I have the opposite and it works OK ?

[faraday]

1 hour ago, SantiSuk said:

Thank God that money attracts women. God knows I've got little else to offer!

 

 

 

 

Not true but why spoil a good line.

Thought your real name was:

Ivor Biggun....

[exparte]

On 11/30/2017 at 11:15 PM, totally thaied up said:

My wife has a swag of friends looking for a farang, and she is always getting asked if I have any friends free. I refuse to be caught up in anything like an introduction now for a few reasons.

 

I just now tell I cannot say if any of my male friends are good and to the guys back in my home country asking me to hook them up to a Thai girl, I tell them I cannot say if any of the girls are good.

 

Over the years, several of my friends have come over here to stay and they over time have changed. Many do have a wife and once every few months, they disappear for a few days on 'business' to the girls down in Bangkok.

 

I mean it's kinda hard to keep a clean slate here. I can't even go to a straight massage shop even with my wife in tow and not get an offer. Last week I was getting my feet massaged at a Spa with my wife sitting next to me. I was talking about a trip North. My wife had to go to the toilet, and during this time, the girl playing with my feet said if I was going by myself, she was free to go with me.

 

Sometimes it gets just a little too much this farang thing, and sometimes I feel like I am a commodity. I am sure some of us have felt this way. When I was younger in my 30's living here, it was fun. Now married and 48 years of age and pretty happy with my lot in life, throwing another woman even on a part-time basis into the mix would be hellish. I don't know how either a Thai or a farang can juggle it all. Just too hard for me.

 

Giving now an introduction to any party is just like placing a gun to your head. I just do not want to be flamed from an introduction that has soured. From other guys that I have seen do such introductions, many have had egg splashed all over the place as the relationship has turned into a nightmare and the mess has landed squarely within there laps. Living in the Philippines is much worse I can tell you about with this problem.

I know how you feel. It is not always Sunshine and Rainbows in Thailand by any means. I came here myslef to work in my early 30's. I am now 52, and I have seen a lot of tragedy. in relationships including a close friend's wife hiring a hitman to kill him over money (this happened in Dallas Feb 2015).  

[exparte]

On 12/1/2017 at 5:24 AM, drgoon said:

 

While what you say may be true in some instances my personal experience is contradictory to this.

 

My wife's family lives near Kaset Sombun. This, as you will probably know, a typical Isaan rural agricultural area.

 

Everyone works hard, the men and women together. Not just our family, not just the neighbours but most people. If they don't work, they don't eat. Life is that simple.

 

Sure there are some lazy bums but it isn't typical. Sure, some of the guys get together after they finish working at around 6.00 - 8.00pm after starting around 6.00am.

 

Your comments are broad generalisations and not the norm.

 

I see the people in our area are hard workers. It would do many farangs a lot of good to spend some time here and see the real Isaan

My observations are a generalization on my experience living in Thailand 22 years.

[exparte]

On 11/30/2017 at 8:54 PM, The Deerhunter said:

Well I am not even up in Isaan.  I live in a rural area only a bit over an hour out of Bangkok and the things that go on.....  You couIdn't make up some of the stuff that happens around here.  I not only could, but did write a book about some of the weird stuff that happens but I avoided mentioning relationships stuff.  No one but another ex-pat long stay guy would believe me anyhow. 

OK, so December starts tomorrow and a lot of the Thaksin era cheap loans come due around here in December.   They have to find the money to pay them off in full, pay a year's interest and then the loan rolls over and they get the principal back out again in a day or two.  Repeat every year.  Wife was telling me over dinner how many people around here do not know where to get the interest or from where to borrow the principal to show for 2 days this year.  It is a hard life at the bottom in this land.  It seems a no brainer that any farang with a bit of money at all who doesn't want to keep a few spare Mia noi's on the side; get blotto on Lau khao and beat up the missus and kids a couple of times a week, looks like a good bet in much of rural Thailand.  It's a difficult life for many farmers here.  Quite sobering to be living among some of it.

I know exactly what you are talking about with the yearly Gov't loans. They happen with every Tambon. Most people do it every year and use the money for loan sharking; and for everybody who pays it back, they more the next year.; and for those who are running short, the Village Chief usually has some people lined up to loan them money for twp days for 1% that is split with the Village Chief. So, they get a loan, pay back the money, they get another loan for a larger amount and payback the lender who splits the 1% interest (for a two day loan) with the Village Chief.  Life is definitely hard in Thailand, Having liven in Thailand for 22 years, I have seen very little change for these people while every government has enriched themselves. I have my theories, on why Thailand is the way it is, but I wouldn't want to blow most Thai Visa. reader gasket.

[The Deerhunter]

19 minutes ago, exparte said:

I know exactly what you are talking about with the yearly Gov't loans. They happen with every Tambon. Most people do it every year and use the money for loan sharking; and for everybody who pays it back, they more the next year.; and for those who are running short, the Village Chief usually has some people lined up to loan them money for twp days for 1% that is split with the Village Chief. So, they get a loan, pay back the money, they get another loan for a larger amount and payback the lender who splits the 1% interest (for a two day loan) with the Village Chief.  Life is definitely hard in Thailand, Having liven in Thailand for 22 years, I have seen very little change for these people while every government has enriched themselves. I have my theories, on why Thailand is the way it is, but I wouldn't want to blow most Thai Visa. reader gasket.

There are two very old and well entrenched cultural traditions that keep Thailand where it is. And it is a very finely tuned self perpetrating system that keeps them both from unravelling.  (or so I'm told. )    But we are both off-topic.  555

Edited December 10, 2017 by The Deerhunter

[The Deerhunter]

On 07/12/2017 at 5:49 PM, Artisi said:

Would a trip to budget spec's help you ?

I agree.  So she is not a Nordic blond.  He should be there not here.  I think most of us find her quite attractive without even experiencing her personality, which I am sure is as sunny as her smile.  (Trying not to sound like a dirty old man.)  But she looks a sweetie.

Edited December 10, 2017 by The Deerhunter

[madusa]

On 11/30/2017 at 2:54 PM, Berkshire said:

Funny quote....is it about the money or not?

 

[“We’re done with Thai men,” Patcharin said she was told by one of the Thai wife’s mothers, who had encouraged her daughter to divorce her Thai husband and marry a foreigner. “It’s not just about money, but they’re unfaithful and always cheating on women. They don’t take responsibility for their family, and never have enough money to take care of their wife and kids.”]

 

Hmmm, yeah, I'd say it's about the money.

 

 

My sympathy lies with the Thai men because without much of an education and skill how much can they earn to give to wife and children? So being depressed they drink and it makes the problem worse after they drink. One thing leads to another.

Even as a skilled worker (carpenter or plumber) they still earn a limited income. Thailand is not Ozzie-land where a Plumber or Mechanic quote you his rate for an hour's job ok?

So all these women want easy life with plenty of money to buy prada shoes no? The wives of some military government(not Thailand government) flew to Hong Kong and got their hair done and did some shopping too. All these thai women should aspire to marry some military generals not farang. You not only get money you get prestige too. Farangs wearing short pants and flip flop don't convey an impression on the society.

[Berkshire]

3 minutes ago, madusa said:

My sympathy lies with the Thai men because without much of an education and skill how much can they earn to give to wife and children? So being depressed they drink and it makes the problem worse after they drink. One thing leads to another.

Even as a skilled worker (carpenter or plumber) they still earn a limited income. Thailand is not Ozzie-land where a Plumber or Mechanic quote you his rate for an hour's job ok?

So all these women want easy life with plenty of money to buy prada shoes no? The wives of some military government(not Thailand government) flew to Hong Kong and got their hair done and did some shopping too. All these thai women should aspire to marry some military generals not farang. You not only get money you get prestige too. Farangs wearing short pants and flip flop don't convey an impression on the society.

Your last sentence is spot on.  The "stigma" carries on to this day, not because Thais are prudish or racist about Thai/farang relationships, but because said couples are typically not impressive specimens.  On both sides.  Even with the potential for significant improvement in their financial status, very few Thai women are standing in line to snare a farang.  The ones that are seem to be more desperate and the bottom of the barrel.  Sad really, because many of the Thais that I know in a relationship with a farang does so NOT because he's a farang, but because he's a good man.  The farang-hunters will give these women a bad rep. 

[badischer Barde]

On 30.11.2017 at 4:57 PM, car720 said:

if I had one cent for every mother in the world who has said to her daughter.........."be sure to marry a rich man".............I would be richer than Bill Gates.

Net worth Bill Gates	US$ 90.4 billion (December 2017)

[wikipedia.com]

 

So that's 9 000 billion mothers... as opposed to the roughly 2 billion mothers currently living?

[Justfine]

On 30/11/2017 at 5:10 PM, atyclb said:

the french guy is actually handsome, slim and young. what does he see in her ????????????

Good looks

Maybe a good person

 

Why are you perving on the guy is the question?

[joeyg]

On 11/30/2017 at 1:45 PM, Tilacme said:

Thai wives are as faithful as any other nationality and more than most. I only know of one gig mia farang and he is as boring as <deleted> so I can't blame her.

I love Thais but your statement is wrong.  Thai women are #1 for infidelity according to many studies and personal experience.  Check you facts LOL! https://www.google.co.th/search?q=thai+woman+the+most+unfaithful+in+the+world&oq=thai+woman+the+most+unfaithful+in+the+world&aqs=chrome..69i57.15830j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

[genobkk]

suck it up Tvai woman.  Plenty of white men want Thai men. 

[spidermike007]

On 11/30/2017 at 1:17 PM, LotusBoy said:

Wheres his Helmet? Lucky he isn't a German.

 

 

 

Should be the logo for nearly the entire population of Los Angeles women.

[spidermike007]

On 12/12/2017 at 10:44 AM, madusa said:

My sympathy lies with the Thai men because without much of an education and skill how much can they earn to give to wife and children? So being depressed they drink and it makes the problem worse after they drink. One thing leads to another.

Even as a skilled worker (carpenter or plumber) they still earn a limited income. Thailand is not Ozzie-land where a Plumber or Mechanic quote you his rate for an hour's job ok?

So all these women want easy life with plenty of money to buy prada shoes no? The wives of some military government(not Thailand government) flew to Hong Kong and got their hair done and did some shopping too. All these thai women should aspire to marry some military generals not farang. You not only get money you get prestige too. Farangs wearing short pants and flip flop don't convey an impression on the society.

 

 

Well there is a secondary problem here. Even if this typical man chose to get an education, which is a very high hurdle considering how expensive University is here, when he graduates after 4 years with a degree, he will only be able to earn 5,000 to 10,000 per month more, than an uneducated man. This is where Thai society really falls short. Unless he graduates with an advanced degree, forget about it. 

 

And most Issan women I have met do not need to buy Prada shoes. If my Issan wife ever asked for a pair of $1,000 shoes, I would come to the conclusion she is not the woman I thought she was. She is actually quite frugal with our money. I encourage her to buy higher quality shoes. But neither of us go in for the designer stuff. I simply work too hard for my money, for that nonsense. 

 

From what I am told, one of the biggest attractions to foreigners amongst some Thai women, is the fact that many foreign men are romantic, affectionate, and kind to them. They tell me most Thai men do not have a romantic bone in their body (well maybe one). And that they are rarely affectionate. The support factor comes into play also. What woman does not want financial security? 

[Tilacme]

On ‎13‎/‎01‎/‎2018 at 10:29 AM, joeyg said:

I love Thais but your statement is wrong.  Thai women are #1 for infidelity according to many studies and personal experience.  Check you facts LOL! https://www.google.co.th/search?q=thai+woman+the+most+unfaithful+in+the+world&oq=thai+woman+the+most+unfaithful+in+the+world&aqs=chrome..69i57.15830j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

I would concede that my comment is  squired by those fine ladies in pattaya and cowboy. Sort the wheat from the chaff. LOL

[Gecko123]

Don't know if I agree that Thai men are as nonchalant about competition from foreign men as some might be inclined to believe. My sense is that competition to find a mate is becoming fiercer for Thai men, and may help explain some of the hostility at times directed at foreign men.

 

Yeah, a 50-60 year guy can probably be depended upon to be more faithful to a wife 20-30 years his junior than a man closer to her age might be expected to be, but there are plenty of middle-aged Thai coots around who would be delighted to have a younger wife as well. That's why I think, despite the socio-babble motivations suggested in this article, money and financial security remains the primary driver behind most of these marriages. I suspect some of these women merely repeated to the researchers the same comforting platitudes they have told their husbands over the years.

Edited January 27, 2018 by Gecko123

[KhaoNiaw]

Quote

"We’re done with Thai men,” Patcharin said she was told by one of the Thai wife’s mothers

 

Marry the woman and you marry the mother!

[isaanbanhou]

 

 My wife was married before and was left with a 2 year old child.  She never was given any support as her ex remarried and had more children and didn t feel any obligation to take care of his responsibilities.  My wife lived in a small village with her parents with few decent prospects of a better life.

 

 She is from a straight Thai family that pays their bills ontime, lives within their means and arrives five minutes early.

We have a very nice, new home ( 110m2 , not over the top ), a car and she has earned a degree in English.  She has a nice little internet based business that provides a profit of about 75,000 baht a month.  I am retired and have a pension.  The sin sod I paid, 500,000 baht was promptly returned to us after the guests had left.  I paid for the wedding.

 

 She is 32 years younger than me.  She is hardworking, playful, inquisitive and she is not shy.  She has never engaged in p4p and that was never an option that was consideered.  Was money or a better life a primary motive for marrying an older farang?  I would imagine so, but certainly not the only concern.  If I was a pedicab driver and lived in a 24m2 dormtory,  I doubt I would have been considered.  At the same time if I was a drunk, a butterfly or didn t care about my appearance,  I could have twice the assets and not get a second look.

 

She has provided me with a lifestyle and happiness that I never thought possible and I have done the same for her.  I am positive that in farangland I would never attract such a woman her age.  Call me shallow but I like to wake up feeling young,  I woke up feeling grumpy for many years but  that relationship ended long ago as did my interest in farang women. 

 

 I will most certainly die before her and she will be well taken care of when I am gone.  But then I am well taken care of now and thats all that really matters.

  

 

 

 

 

[Justfine]

On 28/01/2018 at 12:18 AM, KhaoNiaw said:

 

Marry the woman and you marry the mother!

So in some cases you marry a dead one

[falangjim]

Of course the issan men are lacking. Most are future deadbeat dads. Dogs have a higher sense of responsibility and morality when it comes to their pups. 

[rascalman]

Is that how you measure the worth of a man? I bet you are no example!

[wildewillie89]

On 21/01/2018 at 11:51 AM, spidermike007 said:

They tell me most Thai men do not have a romantic bone in their body (well maybe one). And that they are rarely affectionate.

I think those women have unrealistic expectations or define romance in money terms. One only needs to see the constant matching couple clothing that Thai men buy. The continual lovey dovey photos on their social media pages. Or the fact that many use their lunch breaks just to bring lunch to their partners or leave a flower on their car. Staff seem to be always quite close with partners here in Thai as they see them so often. They are romantic within their means. 

 

Physical affection in public is more of a country/unwritten law issue, rather than couple thing. It certainly happens behind closed doors. 

Edited January 30, 2018 by wildewillie89

[Justfine]

1 hour ago, weri said:

totally agree with the women work as slaves, cleaning, washing cooking and keeping the family together and happy while the men (husbands) just sit around, smoke, drink and play with themselves, couldn't care less if the women (wife) does the main heavy work in lifting, maintaining etc. it's disgusting the attitude of men towards women, they are still living few centuries behind times, equality?? never heard of !

If women put up with that they are stupid. Only a stupid person would marry a lazy drunk slob.