Thai funeral customs.

[wamberal]

That is an absolutely wonderful explanation.  Many, many thanks.

[cornishcarlos]

Not a funny subject but the next topic down, as I scrolled through new content, was Ashes 2017/2018 !!

Made me chuckle a wee bit :)

[grollies]

What a great post from billd766.

 

Couple of points to add/comment. The moving of the body in the back of a pickup to the Temple and the tossing of coins is, I believe, a Chinese trait, I have only seen it once, in Ang Sila, never round here.

 

A body will never be taken back to the family home if the death was accidental or un-natural (i.e. murder).

 

The body is kept in refrigeration at the Temple, not frozen.

 

Just prior to the burning of the body the crem assistants will shoo away all the friends and relatives after they have all looked at the body. They will then pour petrol around and onto the body.

 

I've never seen the doors left open as burning takes place.

 

As the body is burned, loud thunderclap fireworks will be set off, makes you jump a bit.

 

As others have said, every region is different and I'm not implying what I said is defacto, rather just some added observation.

[joskeshake]

20 hours ago, connda said:

I told my wife not to spend much money or expense on sending me off.  Put me in the local temple's refrigerated box, have some monks chant over me, toss me in a cheap box on day three, the haul the body up to the crematorium.  Heck, I'll be gone so no reason for the bells and whistles.  I won't care and I'd rather her save the money. 

that whats see told me and cost 100.000 baht 9 monks chanting and food for them for 3 days and then the burning .I found it expensive for Thailand.

[Beats56]

When my wife's father died it was 3 days. Hé had been staying at our house in Rayong and got sick. His wife was here to help him. When he passed all the family and friends came from Nakhon ST. Had a lot of people staying at our house.

 

[billd766]

9 hours ago, grollies said:

What a great post from billd766.

 

Couple of points to add/comment. The moving of the body in the back of a pickup to the Temple and the tossing of coins is, I believe, a Chinese trait, I have only seen it once, in Ang Sila, never round here.

 

A body will never be taken back to the family home if the death was accidental or un-natural (i.e. murder).

 

The body is kept in refrigeration at the Temple, not frozen.

 

Just prior to the burning of the body the crem assistants will shoo away all the friends and relatives after they have all looked at the body. They will then pour petrol around and onto the body.

 

I've never seen the doors left open as burning takes place.

 

As the body is burned, loud thunderclap fireworks will be set off, makes you jump a bit.

 

As others have said, every region is different and I'm not implying what I said is defacto, rather just some added observation.

 

There were the big firevrackers up here when we cremated my MIL but none down in BKK when we cremated my FIL. I didn't think about that until I read your post. I must try to remember to ask my wife about that in the morning.

 

8 hours ago, joskeshake said:

that whats see told me and cost 100.000 baht 9 monks chanting and food for them for 3 days and then the burning .I found it expensive for Thailand.

 

Whereabouts in Thailand was this expensive cremation? I know the family looked at 2 or 3 temples that were expensive in Bang Na and chose a cheaper one. They had 5 monks chanting and not 9. Also my wife and a SIL were doing the food at the temple for my FIL.

 

The same for my MIL at the temple up here. We had both houses full, our neighbours was full and the overflow from further away slept at the temple.

[Andrew Dwyer]

When my gf’s grandmother passed away the ceremony was 3 to 4 days , not sure if the first day counts as I was not there and not sure what actually happened , she was transferred from the hospital to the temple on this day.

It all took place at her local temple ( Chumsaeng, Nakhon Sawan ) and there were 13 monks chanting, I thought this was the norm until reading this thread.
I’ve no idea of the cost but it wasn’t a lavish affair, food was provided by relatives and cooking all done in the temple kitchen.
The actual ceremony was pretty much as stated in previous posts.

I was involved in some of the ceremonial parts but at no time was I asked to donate. The family are by no means rich , the impression I got was family and friends shared the expense between them.

[sandyf]

I have been to many funerals around here and they have all been a week but there can be a lot of variation. The majority as far as I am aware died in hospital and the body embalmed and taken to the family home. Usually at 4pm family and friends queue up and pour water over the hand of the deceased before the coffin lid is nailed down. Where I come from I think the family would freak out, the bodies I have seen have looked grotesque after the embalming. Putting the lid on the coffin can also be a bit traumatic, with my FIL they broke his arm getting it into the coffin. The coffin then remained at the house until time for the interment.

The monks come each evening and then in the morning of the final day. My brother in law often does the cooking for local funerals. In our case the funeral was a bit different. They exhumed his wife who had been dead about 10 years, built a new tomb and interred them together . The tomb can hold 5 and my wife, her bother and sister will join them in due course, hopefully I will be long gone by then.

 

I have seen many variations from fancy temples in BKK to simple temples around here, home funerals and funerals with the Royal Flame. One of the strangest was the cremation of an Englishman at a temple in BKK, strange to see nearly everyone in the temple suited and booted.

[khunPer]

On 12/17/2017 at 5:31 AM, grollies said:

Just prior to the burning of the body the crem assistants will shoo away all the friends and relatives after they have all looked at the body. They will then pour petrol around and onto the body.

 

I've never seen the doors left open as burning takes place.

Thanks for your comments. The cremation oven in my photo is very new and modern incenerator working at high temperature, so no fuel is needed to be poured over the body. A high temperature cremation is done in 30 to 60 minutes, but it takes (quite long) time for the oven to cool down.

 

The photo shows when the door close after the coffin had been pushed into the oven; it took a little while before the operator closed the door (pressed the button). I noticed the temperatur at that time was 612­º on the instrument panel, and rising (rapidly, I always double-shoot, in next image it was 613º) – presuming it was the temperature shown in the display, seem like preset for 1,000­­º – a poster with more cremation experience may be able to correct me and explain better...

 

On 12/17/2017 at 5:31 AM, grollies said:

The moving of the body in the back of a pickup to the Temple and the tossing of coins is, I believe, a Chinese trait, I have only seen it once, in Ang Sila, never round here.

The relative and friends arranging the ritual with (lots of) coins were all Thais from various areas of Isaan, both North and East, and it seemed to be a well known custom for them; however I only know what I saw and have been told, so it can be from Chinese origin and rare...

[billd766]

12 hours ago, khunPer said:

Thanks for your comments. The cremation oven in my photo is very new and modern incenerator working at high temperature, so no fuel is needed to be poured over the body. A high temperature cremation is done in 30 to 60 minutes, but it takes (quite long) time for the oven to cool down.

 

The photo shows when the door close after the coffin had been pushed into the oven; it took a little while before the operator closed the door (pressed the button). I noticed the temperatur at that time was 612­º on the instrument panel, and rising (rapidly, I always double-shoot, in next image it was 613º) – presuming it was the temperature shown in the display, seem like preset for 1,000­­º – a poster with more cremation experience may be able to correct me and explain better...

 

The relative and friends arranging the ritual with (lots of) coins were all Thais from various areas of Isaan, both North and East, and it seemed to be a well known custom for them; however I only know what I saw and have been told, so it can be from Chinese origin and rare...

 

At both my MIL and FIL cremations the family wrapped 1 baht coins in "lucky" paper and distributed them just before the actual cremation. The MIL was cremated up in rural Khampeang Phet and the FIL was cremated at Bang Na in urban BKK. Where they originated from I have no idea as most Thais don't seem interested in tracing their family tree.

[sandyf]

On 12/18/2017 at 10:55 PM, khunPer said:

Thanks for your comments. The cremation oven in my photo is very new and modern incenerator working at high temperature, so no fuel is needed to be poured over the body. A high temperature cremation is done in 30 to 60 minutes, but it takes (quite long) time for the oven to cool down.

 

The photo shows when the door close after the coffin had been pushed into the oven; it took a little while before the operator closed the door (pressed the button). I noticed the temperatur at that time was 612­º on the instrument panel, and rising (rapidly, I always double-shoot, in next image it was 613º) – presuming it was the temperature shown in the display, seem like preset for 1,000­­º – a poster with more cremation experience may be able to correct me and explain better...

 

The relative and friends arranging the ritual with (lots of) coins were all Thais from various areas of Isaan, both North and East, and it seemed to be a well known custom for them; however I only know what I saw and have been told, so it can be from Chinese origin and rare...

I think the quality of the cremation varies quite a bit, probably on the age of the facilities. One of the funerals that I have attended was a burial at sea from Sattahip. The bundle, cremation remains, was quite large and obviously contained bones. It was placed in the water and sunk quite quickly as people threw roses around it.

As for the coins I think there is two scenarios, the custom of wrapping coins is quite common among the Thais, at a entry to the monks ceremony wrapped coins are usually thrown into the crowd.

When my FIL, who was half Chinese, was interred, people filed past the tomb and threw coins in beside the coffin. I believe that to be a Chinese custom. Around this area there are huge Chinese graveyards, some stretch as far as the eye can see. It would appear that in days gone bye the Chinese favoured burial to cremation and some burial customs may have been carried over to cremation.

[khunPer]

1 hour ago, sandyf said:

I think the quality of the cremation varies quite a bit, probably on the age of the facilities. One of the funerals that I have attended was a burial at sea from Sattahip. The bundle, cremation remains, was quite large and obviously contained bones. It was placed in the water and sunk quite quickly as people threw roses around it.

As for the coins I think there is two scenarios, the custom of wrapping coins is quite common among the Thais, at a entry to the monks ceremony wrapped coins are usually thrown into the crowd.

When my FIL, who was half Chinese, was interred, people filed past the tomb and threw coins in beside the coffin. I believe that to be a Chinese custom. Around this area there are huge Chinese graveyards, some stretch as far as the eye can see. It would appear that in days gone bye the Chinese favoured burial to cremation and some burial customs may have been carried over to cremation.

Thanks for your comments.

Yes, there will be lots of variations, both due to age of facilities, and slightly different traditions in different areas.

 

Thailand is a mix of cultures and rituals, including both Buddhism, old Khmer religion and rituals, Chinese and Lao traditions.

 

I should have mentioned that some money was thrown at the funeral, when the coffin was carried out of the temple; I based my post on an earlier published explanation and images, to make a quick response, instead of going through my original photo-folder. Unfortunately I didn't got shots of when the money was thrown, as I went in front of the procession, and therefore it didn't became part of my original story. However, after the cremation ceremony I had a few shots of some the children that attended the funeral, who got the money and unwrapped them from small gift look-alike packings.

 

Often the coins thrown, both in funerals and in temple ceremonies, are nicely wrapped. An old lady, mom of one of my lovely girlfriend's friends, is in ICU and the family expect her to die, so my GF has wrapped 200 pieces 5-baht coins for her friend...

 

–in different wrapping-designs...

 

–however, seem like we're stuck with the coins for a while, as after the old lady's relatives prepared everything in due time for a funeral ceremony, she decided it was the right time to die, and her health condition has improved.

 

The explanation I have been enlighten with is, that the coins thrown to people attending a funeral, are thrown for happiness. It's the same as the tradition when throwing wrapped coins, when money are given to the temples after the "lent" period, which is the period where the monks cannot leave the temples due to rainy-season.

 

The money my GF has prepared are so far just "normal money" wrapped in gift packing, however when brought to the temple and following a ritual there, the money change to from "normal money" to "happiness money". That is after "lent" done by walking with money in a procession three times around the temple, which also include the money that shall be given to the temple, often prepared as "money-trees". The below photo is from such a lent-procession with both money-trees for Buddha, and bowls with wrapped coins that change status to "happiness for the people"...

 

[khunPer]

4 hours ago, khunPer said:

she decided it was the right time to die

Sorry, should say: "she decided it wasn't the right time to die..."

[billd766]

I like this informative, useful and commonsense thread.

 

 

[Golden Triangle]

Having been here for a few years now I have attended the cremations of a few expat friends, that of course also means being good friends with wives / girlfriends. At this time (the loss of their partner) they need a lot of moral support which some of us are not expecting or used to being involved in. The Thai ladies are very good at this as of course they have experienced Thai style cremations probably many times. They will offer spiritual, moral and physical support to the bereaved lady and assist in all the preparations.

 

What we as close friends of the deceased are not used to seeing are some of the close up and personal practices that we need to be a part of.

 

Usually when the body arrives from the Hospital or Morgue at the temple that is a separate ceremony, I recently had to attend a funeral where the guys adult daughters had flown in from the UK and they were visibly shaken by the things being done, his body was taken from the ambulance and laid on a table for wont of a better description, all those attending have to queue, pour water over the deceased's hands say something and move on, when that is done the hands are then bound together with the fingertips pointing skywards. You also have to bear in mind that rigor mortis has set in so a few crunching bone noises will be heard.

 

The deceased is then placed in the refrigerated box until the appointed time.

 

The (very early) morning after the actual burning those close to the deceased gather at the temple and the remains are withdrawn from the crem, the ashes and bone parts are raked through, as covered in earlier posts, large bits of bone, skull, hip, tibia  teeth are collected, I know of one wife who found a tooth of her husband and had it made into a pendant !! 

 

The larger parts are usually wrapped in a cloth and down here in Pattaya usually thrown into the sea along with flower petals and incense sticks etc, the same happens where my Mrs comes from a bit further along the coast, but a monk or monks will be in attendance and all the chanting, praying and reverence will be adhered to.

 

Even here in uber modern Pattaya temples differ widely, some are more traditional, read not pretty, some are ultra modern, read electric doors, gas burners, clean efficient, same as the west, what they are like in rural parts I cannot comment but pretty basic would be my guess.

 

Hope this helps.      

Edited December 20, 2017 by Golden Triangle

[wamberal]

My wife's family has just been told that they have to take the father out of hospital and care for him at home.  He is currently in a public hospital, I assume that this is because his condition has stablised, there is no medical intervention available, he is tube fed (every two hours!!) and just get him out of here please.  Also of course he has to be moved regularly to ensure that he does not develop bedsores.  I can kind of understand the hospital's viewpoint, but this is pretty tough on the family.

 

 

i told my wife to look around for other options, other than taking him home.  The only place I could see is "Golden Years Hospital".  Are there any other options?

[sandyf]

16 hours ago, khunPer said:

The money my GF has prepared are so far just "normal money" wrapped in gift packing, however when brought to the temple and following a ritual there, the money change to from "normal money" to "happiness money". That is after "lent" done by walking with money in a procession three times around the temple, which also include the money that shall be given to the temple, often prepared as "money-trees". The below photo is from such a lent-procession with both money-trees for Buddha, and bowls with wrapped coins that change status to "happiness for the people"...

 

This is the same as the enter the monks ceremony, they also go round the temple 3 times and then throw the money into the crowd. It is also seen as 'lucky' money, my sister in law collects them and has them in a box at the front of the windscreen in the pickup.

 

With the Chinese it is slightly different concept, it is symbolic help in the next life. Every April we have Quing Ming, grave cleaning day, and they burn paper replicas of money, phones, clothes etc as a way of passing gifts on to the deceased.

[Andrew Dwyer]

I just went out for my usual 5.15 pm bicycle ride and along the way my gf spotted a one baht coin on the roadside, then another, then another, 10 in total over a 3km stretch of road .
We then turned into Wat Sutrujiraram ( our usual route towards the rice fields ) and saw many cars and heard the music consistent with Thai funerals.
We were both wondering why so many coins dropped on the roadside and then it clicked when we heard the funeral music.