Lady advice?!

[CG1 Blue]

53 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

However, other than the odd beer at her bar, she never offered to pay for anything when we were out and about (taxi, food, drinks) or said thank you when I did.

Seriously, you think she works in a gogo so SHE can pay for taxis, which she would never use herself, and food in restaurants that she would never eat at herself, because she has children to support ( not men she's only known 2 days )?

 

53 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

PS I told her I do not like the work she does

but, it's OK when you are the customer?

You took the words right out of my mouth!

 

To the OP, if you are genuine I'd say the following. 

 

It is possible she has fallen for you, and she might see a long term future with you.  But in the meantime she's working and saving for her family / house. It's very likely she has lived all her life in poverty, and when I say poverty I don't mean not being able to upgrade to Sky Sports (which is the UK version of poverty).  We're talking about using a bucket for a shower and cooking anything that moves to survive.  You're a westerner with a good job. You paying for everything is a given. If that bothers you, you should move on.

 

Like others have said, sometimes these stories have a happy ending (no pun intended), but sometimes they don't. If you're a decent bloke I'd say you have half a chance of things working out, but you need to give serious thought to your future, i.e. do you want to live in LOS or back in the UK, and if the latter what is she going to do while you're out working. Good luck! (if you're genuine)

[CG1 Blue]

10 hours ago, Berkshire said:

....and the best you can do is a 32 yr old BG with kids?  Young women back home ain't doing it for you? 

 

The thing is, a BG who's been in the business a long time most likely has had her heart broken many times over.  By Thai and foreign blokes alike.  Over and over again.  Nevermind you trusting her, when will she trust you? 

A 32yr old BG with kids will appreciate him a hell of a lot more than a young woman back home would, and will probably look a lot better too.

[Hutch68]

Hmmmmmm.
It's sometimes hard to know if posts like this are for real, or just some expat on a boring day seeing how many suckers take a troll post seriously.
However, a few points really sound warning bells for me.
 
I met a girl at a Go-go bar
Yet she never said how much she expected and was so happy with 4,000 that she wants you to meet her family hahahaha
 
"She kicked off and the girl I fined stuck up for me and ended up getting sacked (as well as a few pool balls thrown her way)."
You are claiming a bargirl that you never gave any money to supported YOU over the mama san, to which she owes her job, haha.
 
"She never asked me for payment"
To read your post it's like she works in a barbeer just so she can have a few free feeds and a bit of rumpty. Hahaha.
I guess she can save a bit of the food for a doggy bag to feed her children.
 
However, other than the odd beer at her bar, she never offered to pay for anything when we were out and about (taxi, food, drinks) or said thank you when I did.
Seriously, you think she works in a gogo so SHE can pay for taxis, which she would never use herself, and food in restaurants that she would never eat at herself, because she has children to support ( not men she's only known 2 days )?
However, the most significant "alert" is that apparently she bought you beers at her own bar, which is frankly UNBELIEVABLE.
 
she also told me she likes me more than just a customer.
Significant word "customer", yet you gave her sod all, lost her her job, and expected her to pay when you went out.
You apparently understand that you were a customer, but thought you didn't have to pay the bill.
 
 
I'm with Grollies when he said
5555555, nice try mate.
 
Either this thread is a try on, or that girl is playing the longest con ever played.
 
On the extremely unlikely chance that the OP is serious, and it actually happened, I suggest an extensive reading on the internet about bargirls and cons in Thailand, developing a strong sense of cynicism, and understanding that bargirls do their job to make money, not be a 3 days girlfriend for a few feeds and a taxi ride or two.
I also suggest never, never, never going to visit her family.
 
 
PS I told her I do not like the work she does
but, it's OK when you are the customer?
 
 
 
 
 
 

I met a girl in a go go bar says it all.
There is nothing more to explain!


Sent from my iPhone using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[DipStick]

There are runts in every litter, kennels, bars and posters, but in kennels, the runts are usually neutered or castrated. Possibly time to expand the treatment.

[thaibeachlovers]

2 minutes ago, Hutch68 said:

I met a girl in a go go bar says it all.
There is nothing more to explain!


Sent from my iPhone using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

Could be so. I remember my first experience in a gogo- I was just blown away and those gurlz were sooooo purty that I completely lost my common sense. I was probably just lucky to get away only slightly scarred.

I can get why a young fella that's only known western women might think he's struck the mother lode.

It's up to us to try and save him from himself  because he is probably at the "she's different" stage.

 

True story- First time in Bkk and green as very green grass. Went to a barbeer near Patpong and bought a drink. Girl comes and sits with me. Asks for me to buy her a drink. I had the exact amount left that I paid for my drink, so I said she could have one. Came time to pay the checkbin- oh sugar!

Anyway, I think the service guy thought it was funny, so instead of 5 guys beating the c*** out of me, he let me go without paying for her drink.

I did go back later and pay for it, but after that I never went out without plenty of cash for the unexpected.

 

Since then, I've always considered LOS to be a continual learning experience, and rarely been wrong on that.

 

So, I do think it's possible that the OP is for real.

[xylophone]

12 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I wouldn't bother with Young women back home if my life depended on it. My biggest regret is that I didn't know enough when I was 26 to stay away from them and wasted so much of my time trying.

I had a great time with the young women in my days in Blighty as I was a real party animal.

 

My only problem was that I liked them to stay young!! Could never see myself getting old/older with someone who did the same and looked wrinkly like me, so Thailand suits me fine!! 

 

As a French guy in Juan les Pins said to me after I had suggested that the gorgeous/stunning 19 yr old young woman working in his shop was his daughter......." that is not my daughter that is my girlfriend. Look at me, what do you see......you see a 56 yr old fat wrinkly man sitting opposite you, and what would be sitting beside me if I was married? A 56 yr old fat wrinkly woman.......and I don't like them!".

[Berkshire]

1 hour ago, xylophone said:

I had a great time with the young women in my days in Blighty as I was a real party animal.

 

My only problem was that I liked them to stay young!! Could never see myself getting old/older with someone who did the same and looked wrinkly like me, so Thailand suits me fine!! 

 

As a French guy in Juan les Pins said to me after I had suggested that the gorgeous/stunning 19 yr old young woman working in his shop was his daughter......." that is not my daughter that is my girlfriend. Look at me, what do you see......you see a 56 yr old fat wrinkly man sitting opposite you, and what would be sitting beside me if I was married? A 56 yr old fat wrinkly woman.......and I don't like them!".

55555...had a friend in Thailand tell me the same thing.  I too dated hotties my age back in the USA when I was in my 20's.  I'd never even think about going to Thailand or any other country at that age.  I mean, isn't it preferred to date someone you can actually communicate with and understand fully if given the choice?

 

But if you're in your 50/60's and still prefer to date hotties in their 20's, the west is a deadend.  Enter Thailand.  Yes it's about the money, but so what.  What else is an old guy going to do with his money.   

[Rc2702]

On 28/12/2017 at 6:38 PM, Johny90 said:

Like I said, first time to Thailand so im asking for some advice and peoples past experiences on bar girls. I mean, isnt that what forums are for? Sarcastic expats who take the Mick out people behind a keyboard.. Great one!

 

Cheers to those who have left sound advice for me to consider.

Have you considered that she might be a geezer?

[KhunMhee]

Quite simple. Buy her the biggest house you can't afford. Give her 50% of your wages. If she is still with you in 10 years she is a keeper. Don't listen to anyone else I think you're on the right path. Best of luck to you and remember the bigger the house the better

[Johny90]

2 hours ago, KhunMhee said:

Quite simple. Buy her the biggest house you can't afford. Give her 50% of your wages. If she is still with you in 10 years she is a keeper. Don't listen to anyone else I think you're on the right path. Best of luck to you and remember the bigger the house the better

 

Hilarious. Whens the stand up tour start? Id like a ticket.

[KhunMhee]

8 minutes ago, Johny90 said:

 

Hilarious. Whens the stand up tour start? Id like a ticket.

Due to the cost of a huge house you need to buy you likely could not afford tickets.

[Johny90]

On 29/12/2017 at 1:22 AM, Berkshire said:

....and the best you can do is a 32 yr old BG with kids?  Young women back home ain't doing it for you? 

 

The thing is, a BG who's been in the business a long time most likely has had her heart broken many times over.  By Thai and foreign blokes alike.  Over and over again.  Nevermind you trusting her, when will she trust you? 

I could easily find a nice girl in the UK id say but it comes down to timing. Right now ive gone to thailand and meet this girl. 

 

Thats very true. Thanks for your comment bud

[Johny90]

On 29/12/2017 at 10:09 AM, thaibeachlovers said:

That's a bit harsh. If I was 26 now and knew anything, I wouldn't bother with Young women back home if my life depended on it. My biggest regret is that I didn't know enough when I was 26 to stay away from them and wasted so much of my time trying.

Completely agree

[Johny90]

On 29/12/2017 at 10:18 AM, thaibeachlovers said:

The best advice you have received is to "run Forrest run". You can choose to ignore it, but don't cry if it all turns to tears.

I had many bar girl girlfriends ( a lot longer than 3 days ), but if one was planning the wedding ( asking you to visit the family is code for I want to marry you ) after 3 days, she wouldn't be seeing me again. 

BTW, many bargirls have several "boyfriends" sending them money from overseas and spend their time away from the bar messaging and skyping them all. Their problem is making sure they don't all turn up at the same time.

 

Famous bargirl lie- "send me money so I don't have to go with man". 

It wasnt after 3 days she was declaring her love and wanting to marry me or I would have done the same and RAN! Lol. We've been talking a while.

 

I understand many BGs have several 'Boyfriends' but I dont think its possible with her because, we message so much and the replies are pretty instant when the conversation is flowing. She wants to video call me alot . 

 

She hasnt asked for money to stop working, I did offer to test her reply but she said she does not want to do this because I should not be supporting her at this stage and hasnt bought the subject back.  

 

It may seem im mind set from my reply but im still considering. Im just replying to your points. 

 

Thanks for the comment!

[KhunMhee]

9 minutes ago, Johny90 said:

It wasnt after 3 days she was declaring her love and wanting to marry me or I would have done the same and RAN! Lol. We've been talking a while.

 

I understand many BGs have several 'Boyfriends' but I dont think its possible with her because, we message so much and the replies are pretty instant when the conversation is flowing. She wants to video call me alot . 

 

She hasnt asked for money to stop working, I did offer to test her reply but she said she does not want to do this because I should not be supporting her at this stage and hasnt bought the subject back.  

 

It may seem im mind set from my reply but im still considering. Im just replying to your points. 

 

Thanks for the comment!

All joking aside bud. If you use the search function it will show lots of these stories. Most cases it does not end well. 2 rules I live by. If the offer is too good to be true it likely is. And a leopard can't change its spots. Even if she has the full best intentions something always will come up.

 

Either way it's your life and if you're absolutely certain then I wish ya luck. It wont be an easy relationship up hill fights most of the way.

[Johny90]

2 hours ago, KhunMhee said:

All joking aside bud. If you use the search function it will show lots of these stories. Most cases it does not end well. 2 rules I live by. If the offer is too good to be true it likely is. And a leopard can't change its spots. Even if she has the full best intentions something always will come up.

 

Either way it's your life and if you're absolutely certain then I wish ya luck. It wont be an easy relationship up hill fights most of the way.

Reading those stories is what worried me haha.

 

Your right, to much grief for what its worth at this early stage.

 

Cheers for your comment back bud

[Watchful]

20 hours ago, Johny90 said:

Reading those stories is what worried me haha.

 

Something is terribly wrong with ALL of the stories and ALL of the posts in this thread.

 

Everyone has ignored the two most important people in this situation. Johny you are NOT the most important person in the world to your GF. To her and FOREVER the most important people in her life are her two kids.

 

Johny, how do you see yourself bonding with these two kids?  Is that something you look forward to? If you can't see yourself as a dad and provider, you need to move on.  It will never, ever work.

 

Look, she spends every waking hour worrying about her kids and their well-being. Now you could fit in the picture, but only as someone who provides security and a future for these two youngsters. If you faithfully fulfil that role, you could indeed have a happy life together.  

 

At 26, is this something you'd seriously like to commit to?  

 

If you choose to ignore these two people, I can guarantee you will regret it.

[Johny90]

4 hours ago, Watchful said:

Something is terribly wrong with ALL of the stories and ALL of the posts in this thread.

 

Everyone has ignored the two most important people in this situation. Johny you are NOT the most important person in the world to your GF. To her and FOREVER the most important people in her life are her two kids.

 

Johny, how do you see yourself bonding with these two kids?  Is that something you look forward to? If you can't see yourself as a dad and provider, you need to move on.  It will never, ever work.

 

Look, she spends every waking hour worrying about her kids and their well-being. Now you could fit in the picture, but only as someone who provides security and a future for these two youngsters. If you faithfully fulfil that role, you could indeed have a happy life together.  

 

At 26, is this something you'd seriously like to commit to?  

 

If you choose to ignore these two people, I can guarantee you will regret it.

Thanks for your comment!

 

When talking about a possible future with her, I talked to her about this and she knows IF things do work out I have no problem with that. Im now noticing that, even in the UK, a lot of girl have a child or two. I doesnt bother me. I understand that when somebody becomes a parent, their children are the centre of their world. 

 

The reason for the post was more to try and figure out her intentions from my explanation of the situation and what has happened between us so far. If im just a future 'walking ATM' for her to leave the bar scene and nothing else.. maybe? I guess nobody will know. I was hoping there was someone out there who has been in a simular situation!

[theguyfromanotherforum]

On 12/31/2017 at 8:55 AM, Johny90 said:

I could easily find a nice girl in the UK id say but it comes down to timing. 

 

Sure. Everybody here believes you.

[Johny90]

1 hour ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

 

Sure. Everybody here believes you.

Its ok to be jealous bud. After all, your DP is of a star trek character which probably says alot ?

[Rhys]

Just run.... move on..

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎12‎/‎31‎/‎2017 at 9:07 AM, Johny90 said:

It wasnt after 3 days she was declaring her love and wanting to marry me or I would have done the same and RAN! Lol. We've been talking a while.

 

I understand many BGs have several 'Boyfriends' but I dont think its possible with her because, we message so much and the replies are pretty instant when the conversation is flowing. She wants to video call me alot . 

 

She hasnt asked for money to stop working, I did offer to test her reply but she said she does not want to do this because I should not be supporting her at this stage and hasnt bought the subject back.  

 

It may seem im mind set from my reply but im still considering. Im just replying to your points. 

 

Thanks for the comment!

I'm not saying it is true in this case, but in Thailand there is the "long con" where they give up short term gain to make it large later on. My ex wife did the long con on me, so I know of what I speak.

Helps if one doesn't let on how much money has and keeps saying one is poor. Offering to buy houses and cars for the beloved is a sure fire way to get long conned.

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎12‎/‎31‎/‎2017 at 9:20 AM, KhunMhee said:

All joking aside bud. If you use the search function it will show lots of these stories. Most cases it does not end well. 2 rules I live by. If the offer is too good to be true it likely is. And a leopard can't change its spots. Even if she has the full best intentions something always will come up.

 

Either way it's your life and if you're absolutely certain then I wish ya luck. It wont be an easy relationship up hill fights most of the way.

Having family involved is often the kiss of death. Even if the girl is genuine, she is dominated by the family, and they may be the greedy ones.

Make it clear the family don't get one satang, ever, and see if things change.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

3 hours ago, Johny90 said:

Its ok to be jealous bud. After all, your DP is of a star trek character which probably says alot ?

 

I don't want to sound harsh, but at 26 the best you can do in Thailand is a bargirl?

 

The only bright spot in all this that you will be thought life lessons early on, unlike some old guys who will never get a second chance.

 

As for being jealous, I am really not sure what of? You dating a bargirl?

 

 

[thaibeachlovers]

15 minutes ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

 

I don't want to sound harsh, but at 26 the best you can do in Thailand is a bargirl?

 

The only bright spot in all this that you will be thought life lessons early on, unlike some old guys who will never get a second chance.

 

As for being jealous, I am really not sure what of? You dating a bargirl?

 

 

That is harsh. I've said it before, but I've met BGs that were far better than any non BG that I met, and that includes western ones.

Which isn't to say that the non BGs that I know are not good people, just that the really good BGs were superstars among women.

I've also met some that were horrid ratbags, but that's life for you.

Edited January 1, 2018 by thaibeachlovers

[sanemax]

2 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

That is harsh. I've said it before, but I've met BGs that were far better than any non BG that I met, and that includes western ones.

Which isn't to say that the non BGs that I know are not good people, just that the really good BGs were superstars among women.

I've also met some that were horrid ratbags, but that's life for you.

Whether she is a nice person or not is besides the point, the point being is that she is a prostitiute

[thaibeachlovers]

10 hours ago, Watchful said:

Something is terribly wrong with ALL of the stories and ALL of the posts in this thread.

 

Everyone has ignored the two most important people in this situation. Johny you are NOT the most important person in the world to your GF. To her and FOREVER the most important people in her life are her two kids.

 

Johny, how do you see yourself bonding with these two kids?  Is that something you look forward to? If you can't see yourself as a dad and provider, you need to move on.  It will never, ever work.

 

Look, she spends every waking hour worrying about her kids and their well-being. Now you could fit in the picture, but only as someone who provides security and a future for these two youngsters. If you faithfully fulfil that role, you could indeed have a happy life together.  

 

At 26, is this something you'd seriously like to commit to?  

 

If you choose to ignore these two people, I can guarantee you will regret it.

As someone that has been involved as a stepdad, I can positively state if another man's children are the offspring of the woman you are thinking of hooking up with, hit your head on any convenient wall a lot. The relief you feel on stopping is as nothing compared to the relief I felt when walking away from mine. Luckily I hadn't adopted them.

[thaibeachlovers]

3 minutes ago, sanemax said:

Whether she is a nice person or not is besides the point, the point being is that she is a prostitiute

I'll say this nicely- you obviously have no idea of what you are talking about, and I'm not going to waste my time trying to educate you.

You seem to think it's OK if a girl is the town bike, just as long as she doesn't get paid 

Any man that thinks he is marrying a virgin these days is almost certainly deluding himself. 

 

[NonthaburiBear]

Bro, is this a joke ?... 2  children gonna cost you alot you know. Find some local friends to introduce you to normal Thai woman

[473geo]

You say

 

6 hours ago, Johny90 said:

I was hoping there was someone out there who has been in a simular situation!

 Well it would appear either you are being advised by those who got burnt, they will, as you have seen, advise you to avoid this possibility by moving on.

Or you are getting second hand 'advice' from those that read the stories of 'failure' and reach a conclusion that bar girls are not long term relationship material

 

However, what is wrong with having a bit of fun and seeing where it leads, you are 26 even if you spend a bit on the girl for a couple of years it will not be unrecoverable, you can earn more, and how can you pass up the experience of spending a few days in her home village, part of your Thailand experience, sure it may well not be for you, but are you going to live your life by reading about the experiences of others, or, get out there and make your own.

 

Good luck - enjoy