36 year old UK man, considering life's options. How difficult is it to find a genuine Thai woman? Are the woman on these marriage/introduction sites actaully legit?

[ExistentialInquiry]

Hello everyone.

 

I have probably spent a good couple of hours reading various posts in these forums over the last couple of days, and there has been some interesting discussions and some good advice from men who clearly have plenty of life experience and are pretty savvy.

 

At the moment a war is going on between the rational, cynical part of my mind, and the imaginative part that wants to believe in possibility.

 

Here's the rub. It's difficult for anyone to speak "objectively" about oneself, but I will make my best attempt.

 

I am 36 years old. Looks are "average", I would say. Decent teeth, not particularly tall (5'8"). Clean and tidy. Shaved head as my hair genetics aren't great so decided to eliminate it entirely rather than have thinning bald patch! Physically I look after myself, so I'm in well above average shape, in terms of being lean and slim (I am a cyclist, former PT, run, and lift weights etc.), though I'm definitely not a chunky bodybuilder type physique. 64kg. Overall I'm someone you wouldn't really notice at a party, though people do remark (genuinely) that I look younger than I actually am.

 

So in the world of online dating, I tend to just completely disappear into the morass of other men. I am literate, well spoken, intellectual and a "bookish" type. Relatively quiet but not a total doormat. Not your heavy drinking loud alpha type. In fact I barely drink at all, though occasionally I do enjoy a decent Belgian beer etc.

 

I've been single four years. I do an unremarkable retail job. I am not particularly career focused as I'm not particularly materialistic. I value other things in life more.

 

It is proving extremely difficult to meet women here in the UK, and furthermore I have to say I've noticed a massive change in particularly the last 5 years primarily due to the social effects of technology and all the endless dating apps like Tinder/Bumble etc. People here in this country are increasing turning into drones permanently attached to their 5" screen on their phone. Women seem more interested in having a virtual relationship in their head, on their Instagram feed and Facebook accounts, than anything real world. I would very occasionally get into decent conversations on WhatsApp etc., but the stumbling blocks appears to be that no one can ever be bothered to actually prioritise any time to ever meet up and even allow the possibility of any relationship to develop or flourish. Almost all of the people I know who are in a decent relationship met their partner through work. You can exchange a million messages online but I am of the firm belief that unless it is backed up with substantial face-to-face contact it is largely ephemeral. The illusion of "infinite choice" one finger tap away has paradoxically had the opposite effect of turning everyone into individual islands. Because no one is willing to actually invest sufficient one-to-one time with one particular person, you never get any depth, so as a result the temptation of the immediate better option leads to an endless cycling through of zero progress. People end up making decisions based on completely illusory notions about the other person. This was never a problem some years ago. People only used their phones in a limited manner such as "Are you free Tues?"/"Yes, can do 8pm"/"Great, see you for a coffee then" type conversation. It wasn't an end in itself like now.

 

People around here in the NE of the UK seem incredibly inward looking in terms of being so heavily invested in the narrow white mono-culture (this is a heartland of Brexit "yes" voters...). I am a very global person in that other cultures fascinate me and I'm always looking to expand my horizons.

 

Essentially I want something that is actually real, involving two people physically interacting, not some online/virtual relationship.

 

This has led me to consider the possibility of a Thai women, and I have seen that there are marriage/introduction agencies, of the old fashioned type in that they actually put you in contact with people face-to-face. These forums are littered with cautionary tales about avoiding women who are primarily only interested in scamming the man out of money.

 

So I am trying to look at it pragmatically and evaluate what the likely success is. I am not a Buddhist, but the philsophical and value system of this religious/spiritual system holds a great deal of attraction to me. I would think a woman that genuinely held Buddhist type values would be potentially a good match.

 

To be clear:

 

1. I am 36 in good shape, looking for a woman 20-35. So I am not the cliche of a 60 year old man trying to get a 20 year old woman draped over his arm who probably has absolutely zero physical attraction to the man. Since I'm certainly not bad looking, I would like to think I could meet a woman who genuinely did have actual physical attraction toward me also. Obviously I want someone who is attracted to me for who I am, but some initial physical attraction is at least part of that.

2. I recognise that inevitably there is a financial component involved, and though I am absolutely not a high income earner by UK standards, this nevertheless still makes me incredibly "wealthy" by Thai standards. This at least gives me advantage compared to over here where I am just one man among many.

3. I am not looking for a subservient sex slave doormat type woman, but it would be nice to be with someone who is a bit more traditional than the situation we now have in the UK, where everything has dissolved to such an extent that even women will admit they have no idea what it is they want from a man, and everything seems such a pointless time waste where nothing happens.

4. I'm looking for someone who wants to build something in the real world, rather than someone who is almost permanently tethered to their mobile phone.

5. I'm looking to build a loving genuine relationship, so I am happy to support her, and support her family to some extent, since I would like to become part of her family.

6. I know that compared to the life of a lot of Thai women, my life is comfortable and easy. I work far less hours for far more money and a better standard of living than they have, particularly if they come from a rural area.

 

So the question is: What are the odds of actually being able to build a genuine relationship in this manner?

 

My hypothetical route would be this:

 

1. Go on holiday to Thailand, visit introduction/marriage agency, arrange to meet as many women as possible over the first few days/week for initial meetup/conversation. From these, select a couple of the most promising options, go on a couple of "dates". Hopefully filter down to one woman, spend as much as possible of remaining holiday time getting to know her (and not just chasing sex!).

2. Keep conversation/contact going, and arrange to come back to Thailand fairly soon after (say couple of months later), spend holiday time with her, see if there is a real foundation. If so...

3. Bring her back to UK on a "fiance visa" and see whether it *actually* works living together, and whether she can cope/be happy with the cultural acclimitation. Intention is I'd help her with English, learn some Thai, do everything I could to try and help her make some female friends over here so she isn't completely isolated/housebound.

4. Near end of visa, marry and live happily ever after (one can dream, lol).

 

To be clear. I'm not after a woman who I expect to do nothing else that cook and clean and be some domestic servant. Her happiness is important to me. I realise that transplanting to the other side of the world is a highly difficult transition. However, imagining myself in the reverse situation, if some 40 year old woman in a high-end job whom I found at least decently attractive and I felt I had a genuine connection with, offered to say take me from the UK back to Canada with her, upgrading my circumstances by the same degree, and in exchange I'd basically be the stay-at-home domestic guy that'd cook for her, etc., whilst we had very comfortable existence, that sounds like a good deal. I'd be able to spend my days writing and doing other fulfilling activities rather than a shitty monotonous job. So I would like someone who still believes that a relationship is built by deliberate effort, some pragmatic choices, not just someone who thinks they can do a few clicks on a screen and everything is going to happen entirely at their whim and convenience auto-magically. It seems to me that many people here under 35 now have a very immature attitude to relationships - as if it is all going to happen perfectly and smoothly, without any effort, without any discussion, etc.

 

So what do you think. Is my pragmatism based on some realism, or am I deluding myself into a fantasy? A lot of the posts here seem to think that bringing a Thai woman back to the UK is a bad move. But I'm not looking for a bar-girl, I'm trying to find a genuine woman whom I have a connection with that extends beyond the physical. I am not naive. But it is impossible for me to determine whether to dismiss what I'm after as being almost impossible is rather me being too cynical. So can and does it work? The agency I looked at went to great lengths to empathise its women were not purely there for money; but obviously they would stress that for business purposes. Trying to separate truth from fiction is hard.

 

From a physical point of view, I find a lot of Asian women more attractive as they don't eat the junk processed food garbage diet like over here. Rates of obesity here in NE England are incredible. A lot of the Thai women don't seem to suffer from that, currently, probably because they don't live in a toxic food culture based around endless snacking/consumption of garbage food. So whilst I am not some chap that looks like a model by any stretch, I am in good shape, and consider health to be important. So I'd like someone that does keep themselves in shape. I don't think that is an unreasonable expectation.

 

I find it very hard to start/get anywhere with relationships. But when I have managed to get over the initial stumbling block, they have been highly successful. I was with a Swedish woman for 6 years, and a British woman for 4 years. Both relationships were brilliant whilst they lasted, overall. Life, overall, was richer in experience and happiness than my life as a singleton.

 

Anyway, thank you if you've taken the time to read this long winded post and if you are able to offer any comments or advice. I'm quite keen to hear from those of you that have genuine success stories and have built a long and lasting loving relationship/marriage with a Thai woman, and as to how you went about it. It seems that among all the horror stories, there are some people that have had tremendous success with the so-called "mail order bride" route and ended up with something that brings immense happiness to both people.

[Peterw42]

Wow, thats quiet a first post.

 

The short answer is "its not difficult to meet genuine Thai girls. 

 

I would avoid introduction agencies, expensive and some bad stories over the years. There are plenty of other options like some of the Thai Dating sites, Thaicupid etc. I met my wife on there.

 

You sound pretty genuine and have a lot of the qualities that genuine Thai girls are looking for. However you would be a "lamb to the slaughter" for bargirls etc. Especially if you mentioned the four step route above.

You will get a lot of "bargirl stole my kidney" stories, cant be trusted etc. But many manage to find and have great longterm relationships with Bargirls, its a whole other aspect of meeting Thai girls that you need to be aware of.

 

Hop on a couple of the Thai dating sites and start talking, once you learn how to use the sites and filters etc it can be very easy. You may end up chatting via google translate etc, but thats part of the fun and leads to learning how to communicate with each other.

Unfortunately, some guys and girls have abused some of the dating sites, hookers looking for a customer or guys wanting naked photos, what color is your underwear etc, so it can be a challenge to present yourself as genuine and find genuine. But still a great way of meeting.

 

Next trip to Thailand you will have 2-3 girls to meet up with.

Edited February 16, 2018 by Peterw42

[ExistentialInquiry]

Thank you for the reply Peterw42. Dating websites here in UK don't seem to work very well, in that it is extremely difficult to get a reply even with a lot of effort put into a personalised first message.

 

But I will give your suggestion a go - nothing to lose. Any particular recommendations? I've heard good things about Thaifriendly.com. Some people have also recommended Thai Cupid, though I understand you have to be particularly careful on there to avoid scammers.

[Peterw42]

6 minutes ago, ExistentialInquiry said:

Thank you for the reply Peterw42. Dating websites here in UK don't seem to work very well, in that it is extremely difficult to get a reply even with a lot of effort put into a personalised first message.

 

But I will give your suggestion a go - nothing to lose. Any particular recommendations? I've heard good things about Thaifriendly.com. Some people have also recommended Thai Cupid, though I understand you have to be particularly careful on there to avoid scammers.

As I said before, I had great success with Thaicupid, Thai friendly not so much as its free and maybe attracts more not genuine etc.

If its replies you want, you will get 100s on Thaicupid, sometimes hard to keep up with them. Beware they may be in Thai or badly translated.

Scammers are easy to spot , 20 year old super model wants fat middle aged westerner who lives with his mum, sounds legit,and if you play around with the filters, who you contact or can contact you etc. Its often just as bad for the girls on there, my wife tells some weird stories. 

[saakura]

Ow wow, that was a very long post and i did read it till the end as you seem very genuine. Actually, you are quite old fashioned at 36. All the things that you complain about is usually done by the older gents who are unable to adjust to the ways of their younger partners. Good luck to you, i hope you find the right partner and be happy ever after. Personally, i feel that the single most difficult part would be this, (in your own words) :  " I realise that transplanting to the other side of the world is a highly difficult transition." 

[theguyfromanotherforum]

You say you are not naive, you're not this and that and the world has changed in the last 5 years. It's not you!!!

 

Yes, it is. It's all you. You are the reason why you can't find a woman in UK. At 36, you are a shelf stacker. Now you are dreaming about Thailand thinking you want a philosophical relationship with a Thai woman. Are you kidding me? If you think your whatsapp convos were limited in UK why do you think you will have meaningful relationship with a Thai woman who's English is most likely very limited.

 

You say you spent a few hours reading these forums. I spent 10 years before I made my move to Thailand. You say you are 36, but your wall of text sounds like it's written by a 15 year old.

 

Wake up, lol

 

 

[ExistentialInquiry]

saakura, thanks for the supportive reply, appreciated. I suppose I am quite "old fashioned"; I've just become increasingly disillusioned with the way that technology often seems to be disrupting rather than improving communications between people/between sexes.

 

theguyfromanotherforum, well, thank you for your candour. Suggesting my post is written by someone with a 15 year old mentality seems unnecessarily derogatory, since I did expressly ask for opinions as to whether my expectations etc. were unrealistic, which is hardly the type of open minded questioning prototypical of a teenage mindset who already assumes he knows all of the answers beforehand.

 

Despite your tone, I do take what you have said under advisement, and certainly am prepared to admit that you may be correct, or at least partially correct. However, do not infer that I'm a 36 "shelf stacker" due to lack of effort or application. For your information, I was a personal trainer for 4 years and put everything into building that career. Ultimately, however, I simply wasn't/aren't a good enough sales person to really make it happen. Or perhaps I simply don't have the confidence in order to sell myself well enough, which amounts to the same thing. Unfortunately, the collapse of that career also ended up destroying the relationship with the woman I loved and lived with at the time.

 

Your question is a good one. My response is this: "Do Thai women generally have the same value system as UK/Western women? Do they treat all potential matches in the same way as shopping for, say, a new fridge? Has Thai culture changed in the same way that British culture has changed over the last few years?" My impression was that a lot of Thai women still held to more of a Buddhist type value system, which is quite dramatically different from the typical Western value system. If this impression is incorrect, please do enlighten me - this is precisely why I'm asking.

 

My observation is that the cultural change in the UK in the last five years is significant. It pretty much corresponds historically to the rise of Tinder. Incidentally I have nothing whatsoever against people "hooking up". My issue is that a biproduct of this is that absolutely all interactions seem to have been infected with a viewpoint of "disposability".

 

You say you spent 10 years researching before you moved to Thailand - good for you. I say I spent a few hours reading this forum, and I am asking these questions precisely to get a gauge of what the situation is. How am I supposed to learn if not by asking questions of people like yourself who know far more?! I am asking precisely because I don't have a clue and am trying to become less clueless, so your criticism is precisely what I am attempting to address.

 

Obviously not all of us are as world wise, confident, or successful as you are; I'm not sure why some people feel the need to respond with such aggression in online conversations. Anyway, thanks for your input.

[sometimewoodworker]

2 hours ago, ExistentialInquiry said:

My hypothetical route would be this:

 

1. Go on holiday to Thailand, visit introduction/marriage agency, arrange to meet as many women as possible over the first few days/week for initial meetup/conversation. From these, select a couple of the most promising options, go on a couple of "dates". Hopefully filter down to one woman, spend as much as possible of remaining holiday time getting to know her (and not just chasing sex!).

I would suggest making friends with a decent English guy who has a Thai wife, she will have a large supply of friends who would like to get married to you, the only difficulty would be that you couldn't hookup with more than 2 before you got the reputation of being a butterfly. You may well be able to meet several socially without any downside.

[ExistentialInquiry]

sometimewoodworker, that is an excellent suggestion. Far more likely to screen out the bad options...

 

I've joined ThaiFriendly... and immediately I'm getting replies. This is 100% the opposite of UK sites. I've been careful to try and only message women who I don't think are likely to be bargirls etc, and avoiding profiles with deliberately sexually provocative profile photos. Nevertheless, none of them may be legitimate. We will see, my guard is up. But it is certainly better than no responses at all!

[theguyfromanotherforum]

18 minutes ago, ExistentialInquiry said:

 

 

theguyfromanotherforum, well, thank you for your candour. 

 

You took it like a champ, so if I may I'll trim your reply a bit.

 

My reply was not aggressive. Think of it more like a term of endearment. You kept going on and on about how great you are and just perhaps misunderstood. You keep glorifying Buddhism and the way Thai women are expecting some kind of understanding and great conversational connection with your line app while in reality western and Thai relationships are more like a night and day.

 

The worst thing is that you are dreaming of bringing a Thai woman to UK . Thai women are social creatures.....they would be absolutely miserable. Did you ever bother to check their Facebook profiles and thousands of (close) friends that they have? Their friends and family got their backs....you will never be able to compete with that and bringing a Thai woman where she doesn't belong is a recipe for disaster.

 

The reason I mentioned a shelf stacking job is because in the past people were at least able to teach English here. Now with degree requirements and tight visa regulations it's not really possible. Make no mistake, money does play an important part here. If you promise something to a Thai woman and you aren't able to deliver, be prepared for a world of pain.

 

And Thai friendly is the absolute worst place to find a "good" Thai woman.....and here's a piece of advice none of the losers posting here will be able to give you. There are a lot of penpal sites where good Thai girls just want to learn English. Join there....start slowly and start grooming. That's how I met my wife. Thai friendly is like visiting soi cowboy and will only get replies from women who could care less about future with some farang mug.

 

 

 

[ExistentialInquiry]

OK, good advice theguyfromanotherforum. Thanks.

 

I wonder whether I'd be theoretically able to work as a PT over there? Hypothetically. I have lots of qualifications in the field and good experience. But don't know how much of a market there is for it.

 

Your point is noted regarding their social/familial network.

[Elkski]

Good luck!   Thai Cupid is better.  Just pay for 6 months.  Set your list of requirements now.  I would suggest college degree, masters better. 

What is youngest child's age or none?

Body type you want.  Shoot for the moon.  You will be able to  talk to attractive bodies  who would not even give you a glance  at home.  Not so easy to determine body type since good Thai gals follow Buddha and don't easily show skin or talk about sex.  Wait till the door is closed.  Many have been harassed by men   asking for naked pictures and line sex.   I would however try hard to see  them in workout clothes, in a swimsuit or other revealing picture or line video chat.  I would not meet a gal without this.  Its important to determine if this requirement is met before you develop feelings or waste to much time.   

Pretty face, girl next door or ?

Debt!   Yes , you must ask about debt.   Many Thai women have debt issues. That's why many seek a farang.   The Thai government has been very loose on loan requirements.  So government nurses and teachers seem to be in debt the most.   Quite often monthly payments of 50%+ of gross income.   

I have read thousands online hours in last 22 months.   I'm still learning.  4 trips for 120 days total in Thailand.   10 years researching sounds like a learning disability.   Lol. But his advice is on one end of the spectrum and has value.  

I do see pitfalls in bringing a Thai woman to a western World.   #1,  I had one gals sister ( teacher) tell me she may "marry this guy in Florida and after she gets her green card dump him and find a nice man" .  No joke.  I am looking in a different age group 35-45+.  #2, There is quite a lot of these gals talking about all the ways to catch a foreigner on social media.  And what demands to make.  

I have read where a USA  fiancee visa may take 10 months to get.  And a man will only get 1-2 chances before no more fiancee visa's for him.  I have found many of these career women can get tourist Visa's to USA.   Seems the requirements are a kid, house, and or property, a career, 200,000 baht in the bank.  Speaks decent English.   This is a 6 month each year for 10 year Visa.  Means no need for the cumbersome fiancee Visa process. 

 

I have found it's easy to find gals who can converse in written English.  And can understand slow speech.  And they improve very fast.  They all think they can't speak.  As we as not good looking.  Sometimes their  large vocabulary surprises me.  Some of the younger ones <35 have great voices and accents like Nicole Kidman.  I think Thailand should ban English teachers not from USA, or Australia.  Lol. Especially India. 

If a gal seems to talk to you at 2-5 am BKK time just block her as bar girl who struck out.  

Understand that these gals are looking for a better life.  Many work long hours for 20,000 baht a month and send half home to mom in Isaan.  So don't worry to much if asked about what support you can provide.   Expect 4,000-10,000/ mo to mom. 

Get the Line app on your phone.   Try to be as honest as you can.  They are talking to others so no reason to lie if you are. 

 

In your 4 step plan I would add some more steps.  At least a few  more visits to Thailand once you find a special one. Including to see her family.  No, it won't be a shotgun wedding if you go to her village.    Oh and make sure her cooking is Good and nit a lazy woman.   Why not get all you want.   

I think a Thai woman does appreciate a good man more than western women.  That is the rub.  How many years does it take a Thai woman to become Westernized?  It's fast with social media.  I think they will find many Thai to socialize and you just hope they don't meet Thai friend that tells her about the greener grass.  

Edited February 16, 2018 by Elkski

[MaeJoMTB]

8 hours ago, ExistentialInquiry said:

I've been careful to try and only message women who I don't think are likely to be bargirls etc, 

So you're looking for a woman that won't have sex with you much?

I guess you really like English women.

 

Bargirls are great, they will provide whatever services you require (including babies) for reasonable prices.

And no inconvenient waiting period at the start.

[MaeJoMTB]

9 hours ago, ExistentialInquiry said:

I was a personal trainer for 4 years and put everything into building that career.

This isn't a career, this is a fashion lifestyle for young fit people that aren't good at much at anything.

 

Your posts are way too long, Thai girls don't like deep meaningful stuff, keep it light and fluffy.

Discussion is viewed as confrontation out here by the locals.

 

But I actually think you're making a big mistake, Thailand is the wrong country for a young man who needs to work. VISA is becoming harder, working is almost impossible, and a big language barrier.

 

Why not the Philippines, you can arrive there and stay for 3 years with no effort. Loads of foreigners working running clubs and resorts. If you marry a local, it's even legal, all the girls speak English, and are more interested in a family and kids than the Thai girls.

 

Why Thailand?

Edited February 17, 2018 by MaeJoMTB

[steven100]

How difficult is it to find a genuine Thai woman?

just head down Soi Nana or Soi Cowboy and you'll be set for life

[cornishcarlos]

7 minutes ago, MaeJoMTB said:

This isn't a career, this is a fashion lifestyle for young fit people that aren't good at much at anything.

 

Your posts are way too long, Thai girls don't like deep meaningful stuff, keep it light and fluffy.

Discussion is viewed as confrontation out here by the locals.

 

I agree... My wife has lots of English speaking Thai friends and I've never had a "conversation" with any of them.

Well not an in depth discussion about a particular topic, it's just always chit chat :)

 

Don't overwhelm them with too much...

[cornishcarlos]

2 minutes ago, steven100 said:

How difficult is it to find a genuine Thai woman?

just head down Soi Nana or Soi Cowboy and you'll be set for life

 

They're African women !!

[473geo]

Finding a genuine Thai woman could well be the easy part

Unless you already carry sufficient financial resource to comfortably implement your plan, that is where your greatest challenge will arise

[theguyfromanotherforum]

37 minutes ago, 473geo said:

Finding a genuine Thai woman could well be the easy part

Unless you already carry sufficient financial resource to comfortably implement your plan, that is where your greatest challenge will arise

 

How much is sufficient? 

[Elkski]

It's good your thinking before you go to Thailand.  

One big issue is your relatively poor.  Your not rich or you would have bought the health club and employ PT's.  And if you were rich you would have plenty if gals at home.   I assume you are trapped working for the next 30 years.   You can scratch off Vacations because of the trips home to mom you will be financing.   

Some women work like slave  dogs in Thailand.  Butany retire at 50  60 max.  But what will they think of work in your country?   Why wouldn't a gal soon find a okder man on pension who doesn't have to work?

 

 

 

 

You need to spend time to ensure real love more than a man who can retire now. 

[473geo]

8 minutes ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

 

How much is sufficient? 

Bare minimum

[theguyfromanotherforum]

10 minutes ago, Elkski said:

It's good your thinking before you go to Thailand.  

One big issue is your relatively poor.  Your not rich or you would have bought the health club and employ PT's.  And if you were rich you would have plenty if gals at home.   I assume you are trapped working for the next 30 years.   You can scratch off Vacations because of the trips home to mom you will be financing.   

Some women work like slave  dogs in Thailand.  Butany retire at 50  60 max.  But what will they think of work in your country?   Why wouldn't a gal soon find a okder man on pension who doesn't have to work?

 

 

 

 

You need to spend time to ensure real love more than a man who can retire now. 

 

That's why I suggested penpal sites rather than Thaifakefriendly

 

Or he could go the Joe way... simply not give a crap about long term "meaningful" relationship and just shag everything under the sun. Nothing wrong with that, it just that OP doesn't strike me as the type. God knows I'm a needy man and would fall in love with a bargirl ?......

 

 

Edited February 17, 2018 by theguyfromanotherforum

[DineshR]

Everything you have observed in the UK with respect to the effect of technology on social interactions is just as valid in Thailand as it is in the UK ... mobile phones and software have completely changed the way we interact with each other .... if this issue is why you are considering Thailand, then I would tell you that you will be disappointed... just my 2 cents


Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect

[Elkski]

Isn't using line after finding them on a dating site like a penpal site?   I may have to look at the penpal angle.   

 

[electric]

OP ... join a Thai dating site like Thai Cupid for the shortest membership on offer, like 1 or 3 months. As soon as you log on, you'll be bombarded with replies. Have some fun "chatting" with as many as you can handle.

 

Quickly narrow down the field, and concentrate on a couple that really interest you. Forget the rest, otherwise you'll just go in circles forever. There's just simply too many ladies.

 

Regardless of how wonderful your online conversations may be, be under no illusions that a visit to Thailand is the next step.

 

Proceed very very slowly. Never commit to anything. Be extremely humble with your opinions.

 

You're now playing the game on her home turf ... a game where you quite simply don't know any of the rules, regardless of how clever, savvy, worldly or suave you think you are.

 

Could go on and on ... finally, your new best friend really needs to speak at least a bit of English. Way too difficult otherwise.

 

Good luck with your quest.

[Suradit69]

17 hours ago, Peterw42 said:

Wow, thats quiet a first post.

If only it had been quieter.

 

Quote

How difficult is it to find a genuine Thai woman? 

Ask to see her Thai ID card. If she has one she's a genuine Thai. Whether or not she's a woman may require further investigation.

 

Since many farang try to impress Thais with their alleged wealth, "she" ( in the collective sense) may be asking herself how difficult is it to find a farang who isn't an economic refugee cum sex tourist.

 

18 hours ago, ExistentialInquiry said:

It is proving extremely difficult to meet women here in the UK

So you thought you'd try exposing your talents in a third world country where they'd all be pining for a loser from the UK.

 

 

Edited February 17, 2018 by Suradit69

[akirasan]

Some people have recommended dating sites and I'm not going to disagree because everyones experience is different.

However, I will offer an alternative plan of action.  Start talking with Thai girls, get to know them, become friends with them.  Do things together, watch a movie, go and see a band, whatever.  Then ask them if they have any single friends (they will).  

I think you might have a better chance of finding a quality girl.  Whether she will want to go back to the UK or not is a whole other kettle of som tam.

[Colabamumbai]

Learn to speak Thai

[alex8912]

Your sixth paragraph about not needing material things and having a crappy job at age 36 is troubling. Please read posts from just today and the last week or so about your fellow British not being able to provide for themselves and their families do mainly to not preparing earlier in their life. If you put as much effort into getting yourself a better high paying job and continue not being materialistic as you do to typing on an anonymous forum with dozens and dozens of people who have no life insurance , health insurance , savings a home , a good pension etc at age 60 and up you will be better off in YOUR life which is the only one you have. 

 

Really this paragragh YOU texted is really scary.

 

"I've been single four years. I do an unremarkable retail job. I am not particularly career focused as I'm not particularly materialistic. I value other things in life more" 

 

You need to change your values in order to have a great life in Thailand or anywhere.  Get a house , get a better job, save and save money. You are 36 don't let history that you can read on this forum everyday repeat itself.  Good luck to you I really mean it!

[ScotBkk]

19 hours ago, ExistentialInquiry said:

Thank you for the reply Peterw42. Dating websites here in UK don't seem to work very well, in that it is extremely difficult to get a reply even with a lot of effort put into a personalised first message.

 

But I will give your suggestion a go - nothing to lose. Any particular recommendations? I've heard good things about Thaifriendly.com. Some people have also recommended Thai Cupid, though I understand you have to be particularly careful on there to avoid scammers.

Thaifriendly, is pretty cool. The only  People on that site who've not been Genuine - was me .......................