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36 year old UK man, considering life's options. How difficult is it to find a genuine Thai woman? Are the woman on these marriage/introduction sites actaully legit?


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Posted

Thank you for the reply Peterw42. Dating websites here in UK don't seem to work very well, in that it is extremely difficult to get a reply even with a lot of effort put into a personalised first message.

 

But I will give your suggestion a go - nothing to lose. Any particular recommendations? I've heard good things about Thaifriendly.com. Some people have also recommended Thai Cupid, though I understand you have to be particularly careful on there to avoid scammers.

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Posted
6 minutes ago, ExistentialInquiry said:

Thank you for the reply Peterw42. Dating websites here in UK don't seem to work very well, in that it is extremely difficult to get a reply even with a lot of effort put into a personalised first message.

 

But I will give your suggestion a go - nothing to lose. Any particular recommendations? I've heard good things about Thaifriendly.com. Some people have also recommended Thai Cupid, though I understand you have to be particularly careful on there to avoid scammers.

As I said before, I had great success with Thaicupid, Thai friendly not so much as its free and maybe attracts more not genuine etc.

If its replies you want, you will get 100s on Thaicupid, sometimes hard to keep up with them. Beware they may be in Thai or badly translated.

Scammers are easy to spot , 20 year old super model wants fat middle aged westerner who lives with his mum, sounds legit,and if you play around with the filters, who you contact or can contact you etc. Its often just as bad for the girls on there, my wife tells some weird stories. 

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Posted

Ow wow, that was a very long post and i did read it till the end as you seem very genuine. Actually, you are quite old fashioned at 36. All the things that you complain about is usually done by the older gents who are unable to adjust to the ways of their younger partners. Good luck to you, i hope you find the right partner and be happy ever after. Personally, i feel that the single most difficult part would be this, (in your own words) :  " I realise that transplanting to the other side of the world is a highly difficult transition." 

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Posted

sometimewoodworker, that is an excellent suggestion. Far more likely to screen out the bad options...

 

I've joined ThaiFriendly... and immediately I'm getting replies. This is 100% the opposite of UK sites. I've been careful to try and only message women who I don't think are likely to be bargirls etc, and avoiding profiles with deliberately sexually provocative profile photos. Nevertheless, none of them may be legitimate. We will see, my guard is up. But it is certainly better than no responses at all!

Posted
18 minutes ago, ExistentialInquiry said:

 

 

theguyfromanotherforum, well, thank you for your candour. 

 

You took it like a champ, so if I may I'll trim your reply a bit.

 

My reply was not aggressive. Think of it more like a term of endearment. You kept going on and on about how great you are and just perhaps misunderstood. You keep glorifying Buddhism and the way Thai women are expecting some kind of understanding and great conversational connection with your line app while in reality western and Thai relationships are more like a night and day.

 

The worst thing is that you are dreaming of bringing a Thai woman to UK . Thai women are social creatures.....they would be absolutely miserable. Did you ever bother to check their Facebook profiles and thousands of (close) friends that they have? Their friends and family got their backs....you will never be able to compete with that and bringing a Thai woman where she doesn't belong is a recipe for disaster.

 

The reason I mentioned a shelf stacking job is because in the past people were at least able to teach English here. Now with degree requirements and tight visa regulations it's not really possible. Make no mistake, money does play an important part here. If you promise something to a Thai woman and you aren't able to deliver, be prepared for a world of pain.

 

And Thai friendly is the absolute worst place to find a "good" Thai woman.....and here's a piece of advice none of the losers posting here will be able to give you. There are a lot of penpal sites where good Thai girls just want to learn English. Join there....start slowly and start grooming. That's how I met my wife. Thai friendly is like visiting soi cowboy and will only get replies from women who could care less about future with some farang mug.

 

 

 

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Posted

OK, good advice theguyfromanotherforum. Thanks.

 

I wonder whether I'd be theoretically able to work as a PT over there? Hypothetically. I have lots of qualifications in the field and good experience. But don't know how much of a market there is for it.

 

Your point is noted regarding their social/familial network.

Posted

Good luck!   Thai Cupid is better.  Just pay for 6 months.  Set your list of requirements now.  I would suggest college degree, masters better. 

What is youngest child's age or none?

Body type you want.  Shoot for the moon.  You will be able to  talk to attractive bodies  who would not even give you a glance  at home.  Not so easy to determine body type since good Thai gals follow Buddha and don't easily show skin or talk about sex.  Wait till the door is closed.  Many have been harassed by men   asking for naked pictures and line sex.   I would however try hard to see  them in workout clothes, in a swimsuit or other revealing picture or line video chat.  I would not meet a gal without this.  Its important to determine if this requirement is met before you develop feelings or waste to much time.   

Pretty face, girl next door or ?

Debt!   Yes , you must ask about debt.   Many Thai women have debt issues. That's why many seek a farang.   The Thai government has been very loose on loan requirements.  So government nurses and teachers seem to be in debt the most.   Quite often monthly payments of 50%+ of gross income.   

I have read thousands online hours in last 22 months.   I'm still learning.  4 trips for 120 days total in Thailand.   10 years researching sounds like a learning disability.   Lol. But his advice is on one end of the spectrum and has value.  

I do see pitfalls in bringing a Thai woman to a western World.   #1,  I had one gals sister ( teacher) tell me she may "marry this guy in Florida and after she gets her green card dump him and find a nice man" .  No joke.  I am looking in a different age group 35-45+.  #2, There is quite a lot of these gals talking about all the ways to catch a foreigner on social media.  And what demands to make.  

I have read where a USA  fiancee visa may take 10 months to get.  And a man will only get 1-2 chances before no more fiancee visa's for him.  I have found many of these career women can get tourist Visa's to USA.   Seems the requirements are a kid, house, and or property, a career, 200,000 baht in the bank.  Speaks decent English.   This is a 6 month each year for 10 year Visa.  Means no need for the cumbersome fiancee Visa process. 

 

I have found it's easy to find gals who can converse in written English.  And can understand slow speech.  And they improve very fast.  They all think they can't speak.  As we as not good looking.  Sometimes their  large vocabulary surprises me.  Some of the younger ones <35 have great voices and accents like Nicole Kidman.  I think Thailand should ban English teachers not from USA, or Australia.  Lol. Especially India. 

If a gal seems to talk to you at 2-5 am BKK time just block her as bar girl who struck out.  

Understand that these gals are looking for a better life.  Many work long hours for 20,000 baht a month and send half home to mom in Isaan.  So don't worry to much if asked about what support you can provide.   Expect 4,000-10,000/ mo to mom. 

Get the Line app on your phone.   Try to be as honest as you can.  They are talking to others so no reason to lie if you are. 

 

In your 4 step plan I would add some more steps.  At least a few  more visits to Thailand once you find a special one. Including to see her family.  No, it won't be a shotgun wedding if you go to her village.    Oh and make sure her cooking is Good and nit a lazy woman.   Why not get all you want.   

I think a Thai woman does appreciate a good man more than western women.  That is the rub.  How many years does it take a Thai woman to become Westernized?  It's fast with social media.  I think they will find many Thai to socialize and you just hope they don't meet Thai friend that tells her about the greener grass.  

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Posted

Finding a genuine Thai woman could well be the easy part

Unless you already carry sufficient financial resource to comfortably implement your plan, that is where your greatest challenge will arise

Posted
37 minutes ago, 473geo said:

Finding a genuine Thai woman could well be the easy part

Unless you already carry sufficient financial resource to comfortably implement your plan, that is where your greatest challenge will arise

 

How much is sufficient? 

Posted

It's good your thinking before you go to Thailand.  

One big issue is your relatively poor.  Your not rich or you would have bought the health club and employ PT's.  And if you were rich you would have plenty if gals at home.   I assume you are trapped working for the next 30 years.   You can scratch off Vacations because of the trips home to mom you will be financing.   

Some women work like slave  dogs in Thailand.  Butany retire at 50  60 max.  But what will they think of work in your country?   Why wouldn't a gal soon find a okder man on pension who doesn't have to work?

 

 

 

 

You need to spend time to ensure real love more than a man who can retire now. 

  • Like 1
Posted
10 minutes ago, Elkski said:

It's good your thinking before you go to Thailand.  

One big issue is your relatively poor.  Your not rich or you would have bought the health club and employ PT's.  And if you were rich you would have plenty if gals at home.   I assume you are trapped working for the next 30 years.   You can scratch off Vacations because of the trips home to mom you will be financing.   

Some women work like slave  dogs in Thailand.  Butany retire at 50  60 max.  But what will they think of work in your country?   Why wouldn't a gal soon find a okder man on pension who doesn't have to work?

 

 

 

 

You need to spend time to ensure real love more than a man who can retire now. 

 

That's why I suggested penpal sites rather than Thaifakefriendly

 

Or he could go the Joe way... simply not give a crap about long term "meaningful" relationship and just shag everything under the sun. Nothing wrong with that, it just that OP doesn't strike me as the type. God knows I'm a needy man and would fall in love with a bargirl ?......

 

 

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Posted

Isn't using line after finding them on a dating site like a penpal site?   I may have to look at the penpal angle.   

 

Posted

OP ... join a Thai dating site like Thai Cupid for the shortest membership on offer, like 1 or 3 months. As soon as you log on, you'll be bombarded with replies. Have some fun "chatting" with as many as you can handle.

 

Quickly narrow down the field, and concentrate on a couple that really interest you. Forget the rest, otherwise you'll just go in circles forever. There's just simply too many ladies.

 

Regardless of how wonderful your online conversations may be, be under no illusions that a visit to Thailand is the next step.

 

Proceed very very slowly. Never commit to anything. Be extremely humble with your opinions.

 

You're now playing the game on her home turf ... a game where you quite simply don't know any of the rules, regardless of how clever, savvy, worldly or suave you think you are.

 

Could go on and on ... finally, your new best friend really needs to speak at least a bit of English. Way too difficult otherwise.

 

Good luck with your quest.

Posted
17 hours ago, Peterw42 said:

Wow, thats quiet a first post.

If only it had been quieter.

 

Quote

How difficult is it to find a genuine Thai woman? 

Ask to see her Thai ID card. If she has one she's a genuine Thai. Whether or not she's a woman may require further investigation.

 

Since many farang try to impress Thais with their alleged wealth, "she" ( in the collective sense) may be asking herself how difficult is it to find a farang who isn't an economic refugee cum sex tourist.

 

18 hours ago, ExistentialInquiry said:

It is proving extremely difficult to meet women here in the UK

So you thought you'd try exposing your talents in a third world country where they'd all be pining for a loser from the UK.

 

 

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Posted

Some people have recommended dating sites and I'm not going to disagree because everyones experience is different.

However, I will offer an alternative plan of action.  Start talking with Thai girls, get to know them, become friends with them.  Do things together, watch a movie, go and see a band, whatever.  Then ask them if they have any single friends (they will).  

I think you might have a better chance of finding a quality girl.  Whether she will want to go back to the UK or not is a whole other kettle of som tam.

  • Like 1
Posted

Your sixth paragraph about not needing material things and having a crappy job at age 36 is troubling. Please read posts from just today and the last week or so about your fellow British not being able to provide for themselves and their families do mainly to not preparing earlier in their life. If you put as much effort into getting yourself a better high paying job and continue not being materialistic as you do to typing on an anonymous forum with dozens and dozens of people who have no life insurance , health insurance , savings a home , a good pension etc at age 60 and up you will be better off in YOUR life which is the only one you have. 

 

Really this paragragh YOU texted is really scary.

 

"I've been single four years. I do an unremarkable retail job. I am not particularly career focused as I'm not particularly materialistic. I value other things in life more" 

 

You need to change your values in order to have a great life in Thailand or anywhere.  Get a house , get a better job, save and save money. You are 36 don't let history that you can read on this forum everyday repeat itself.  Good luck to you I really mean it!

Posted
19 hours ago, ExistentialInquiry said:

Thank you for the reply Peterw42. Dating websites here in UK don't seem to work very well, in that it is extremely difficult to get a reply even with a lot of effort put into a personalised first message.

 

But I will give your suggestion a go - nothing to lose. Any particular recommendations? I've heard good things about Thaifriendly.com. Some people have also recommended Thai Cupid, though I understand you have to be particularly careful on there to avoid scammers.

Thaifriendly, is pretty cool. The only  People on that site who've not been Genuine - was me .......................:sorry::sorry:

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