Professional career lady (girlfriend)acting suspicious

[Goodintentions]

49 minutes ago, jenny2017 said:

It seems that the "lady" is playing a very childish game with him. 

I don't really have the time or interest to play any game, childish or mature or whatever.

I simply wanted to have a serious relationship with what I deem to be a classy, elegant lady with her own career, who comes from a good family and has good values. Preferably pretty (she is) and definitely feminine,(she defines the word.)

I may be too Old fashioned. I believe when two people are seeing each other, including in the "courting stage" which for her and I was about 2 months before we became intimate. After that as far as I am concerned, we are a couple and by default(in my mind) should either wish to sleep with anybody else, have it considered to be cheating. That is my thoughts.

I DO NOT know if she is cheating. She could be staying with a family member or female friend. Or it could be Rick the neighborhood stud...I DONT KNOW and simply want to find out to bring closure either way.

[JLCrab]

9 minutes ago, Goodintentions said:

Skippy...I am presuming you are Thai. Thanks for your response.

The reality is, I do NOT want to sleep around. I had more than my share of South East Asian and Japanese women in my lifetime. More than enough. <snip>

... and don't you feel just awful that, because of you, someone had to have less than their share, much less than enough?

Edited May 3, 2018 by JLCrab

[Goodintentions]

4 hours ago, Kinnock said:

That got me thinking .... is this an indication of the OP's character?  Does he not let things go?  Super tenacious, with a need to set the record straight?  A strong internal compass and a belief that he's always right?

 

..... and there's the core of the problem.

 

Tenacious and thick skinned, most certainly in business...not in personal relationships though.

It "would" be the core of the problem I agree, if your methodology was accurate. 

As mentioned a few times in this thread (getting long so I do not expect you to search it) I simply want to know what the deal is. If she has no interest, has a boyfriend/husband, just tell me. But as is human nature, we are inquisitive, as am I.

I am most certainly not right much of the time, nor do I have any problem admitting fault or if wrong.

I do however want closure, to learn from. History is taught for a reason, so we can learn from the past.

[skippy121]

13 minutes ago, Goodintentions said:

Skippy...I am presuming you are Thai. Thanks for your response.

The reality is, I do NOT want to sleep around. I had more than my share of South East Asian and Japanese women in my lifetime. More than enough. I now simply wish to find the right lady, who has her own professional career and is looking for a long-term relationship that could end up in marriage if we are compatible. That is what I am looking for and have clearly stated to her.

"this is not uncommon if you have met a girl that does not make money from her pussy." .....What is not uncommon, not having sex ? Yes that is my belief from what I have researched and spoken to Thai career women and professional men. 

apparently here, many of the so called experts who have lived in Thailand for extended periods of time are unaware of this and classify all women as bargirls/prostitutes,etc.

This is why I am SO curious as to where she is staying and keeping it secret from me.

please feel free to message me privately thanks.

 

am not Thai but work in BKK with normal office people.

 

could be lots of reasonable reasons, it is all about image and trying to look good to her family and friends and work people.

 

maybe its time to put yourself near the location where she is staying then bump into her , telling her you were meeting a friend in the area but he has failed to show,

 

no confrontation just a coincidence and ask why she is in the area, tell you will be meeting your friend near there often, she will know she has to come clean

[Goodintentions]

1 minute ago, skippy121 said:

am not Thai but work in BKK with normal office people.

 

could be lots of reasonable reasons, it is all about image and trying to look good to her family and friends and work people.

 

maybe its time to put yourself near the location where she is staying then bump into her , telling her you were meeting a friend in the area but he has failed to show,

 

no confrontation just a coincidence and ask why she is in the area, tell you will be meeting your friend near there often, she will know she has to come clean

Thanks Skippy.

That is essentially what I did the few times I "stalked" her per se.

I do not have the time or inclination to follow or confront her, I simply want the truth, whatever it is.

[DavidAlexander]

Slept with two times in 13 months? She isn't your girlfriend, she's your English student. Jeezz dude, wake up and smell the Thai tea.

[Megasin1]

3 minutes ago, skippy121 said:

am not Thai but work in BKK with normal office people.

 

could be lots of reasonable reasons, it is all about image and trying to look good to her family and friends and work people.

 

maybe its time to put yourself near the location where she is staying then bump into her , telling her you were meeting a friend in the area but he has failed to show,

 

no confrontation just a coincidence and ask why she is in the area, tell you will be meeting your friend near there often, she will know she has to come clean

OMG...please don't feed the stalker....LOL

There is a great big sign that says "Please don't feed the stalkers"

He should just play it cool and move on, if she has any interest she'll find him....

OP please, please just let go of this, you really don't need to know why, it will make absolutely no difference and if you corner her she will say something you don't like

Onwards and upwards, keep on moving, more steps forward and don't look back

[electric]

Tell her you've just won 470 million baht in an Estonian lottery, so does she know someone in BKK that can throw a half decent party to celebrate.

 

 

[GTgrizzly]

If you don't have trust I a relationship it will never work... although by the sounds of it you have good cause

Your better off in no relationship than a bad one..  time to move on my friend

[ncc1701d]

I have no problem with checking up on gf to ensure fidelity. Don’t want to be taken for a fool or used. I did that for a while until I did trust. Now I don’t check at all. 

 

However, if it were me being intimate that infrequently, I would also suspect something going on and I would not be able to continue like that. Life is too short.

 

at the end of the day, it doesn’t sound like you are getting what you want outnof the relationship. 

[Russell17au]

There are many who claim that they are educated that just cannot read, in the OP it is stated that he has known her for 13 months but they were only together for 2 months and they had their first sex 9 weeks after getting together.

Are you and her living together or is it only a matter of you dating her? One thing is that you are not married to her so you do not own her and if you find a need to stalk her then she is better off away from you because you sound like a control freak in the aspect of you have to know every move she makes and you are not even married to her yet. I hope she catches you with your stalking and tells you to go away from her

 

[Russell17au]

I think this bloke is living in a fantasy world.

Try this and see what you think. He has known this woman for 13 months and he claims they have been together for 2 months. If they are together then how come she lives with her friend and does not live with him. They have had sex twice since they have been together. I believe that he wishes there was a relationship but I would guess that the only thing that is there is only casual dating and no relationship.

[mihalis]

Well twice in over a year.. that’s says it all.. unless your little fella don’t work well.. it also seems your relationship is in your mind not hers ! 

[metisdead]

A troll post containing a meme has been removed. 

[theguyfromanotherforum]

OP, take a few seconds to read my reply. I'm totally inexperienced and a complete loser, but still....

 

First of all, I am perhaps wrongfully assuming that most folks here replying to you are with leg spreaders from Pattaya, so you should naturally disregard their advice. Lo and behold, some Thai women in their 40s are not into sex especially if they are career women as you say and don't depend on farang provider. Let's also be perfectly honest....sex with the same person gets boring. I have been in quite a few long term relationships and after a few months the dirty stuff literally nosedives....especially once you get older. Variety is the spice of life. The only problem is....do you want to settle with Thai women of dubious character, or do you want a reliable woman in your life?

 

I am also taking a wild guess that her behavior is also a message to you that she doesn't need you and can survive just fine on her own. Those kind of women in Thailand are absolute ballz busters and a diamond in the rough.

 

Personally, I think you should stick with this lady. Thai women are quite annoying with their silence, but once you spend enough time together you'll be able to read them. Perhaps she's simply not being an idiot by allowing herself to be seen with someone who is not truly committed to a relationship. My wife is also traditional and a career woman. I can tell you this....she never met any of her sisters boyfriends simply because the boyfriends weren't serious. I mean none....ever.

 

I personally think this girl might be a great catch, but you gotta admit....stalking is a bit creepish.

Edited May 3, 2018 by theguyfromanotherforum

[canerandagio]

I find it interesting to see how few people can actually understand that there is value in understanding people's behaviour regardless of the merit of the situation. The OP has said it very clearly: he doesn't want to rescue the relationship, so it's time to stop the 'it's over' messages.

He also said several times that he doesn't want to shag around... so it's time to stop telling him to find another one to shag, or to shag this one 'occasionally'.

He also said a few times that he doesn't intend to convince her to go back to him or to persecute her or punish her... he just wants to understand what is going on... so it's time to stop telling the OP he is a stalker...

If she is a lier she deserves to be dealt with with adequate means to establish the truth...

How can it be possible that the great majority in this forum can only think of sex and not understand the value of understanding people's behaviour... really reading this forum is a great way to learn about people... not only the OP...

Edited May 3, 2018 by canerandagio

[Rc2702]

2 minutes ago, canerandagio said:

I find it interesting to see how few people can actually understand that there is value in understanding people's behaviour regardless of the merit of the situation. The OP has said it very clearly: he doesn't want to rescue the relationship, so it's time to stop the 'it's over' messages.

No chance there is every chance there is a simple explanation for her clandestine behaviour and the OP is clearly not the type to Jack it in on a hunch and that's all this is until he breaks the case. Case is far from closed to rest easy at night from now until eternity and ensure the "what if" does not cloud the rest of his life.

He needs hard evidence. 

[canerandagio]

5 minutes ago, Rc2702 said:

No chance there is every chance there is a simple explanation for her clandestine behaviour and the OP is clearly not the type to Jack it in on a hunch and that's all this is until he breaks the case. Case is far from closed to rest easy at night from now until eternity and ensure the "what if" does not cloud the rest of his life.

He needs hard evidence. 

Yes, you are right. He needs hard evidence... not to bring her to court, and not to throw it at her feet and blame her, but instead just to satisfy his curiosity.... it's from curiosity that we grow, and satisfy our minds not from relaxing, simplifying and as you say 'jack it on a hunch'..... :)

 

Edited May 3, 2018 by canerandagio

[MyFriend You]

I vote this the most pathetic post of the year so far......... Nothing left to see here, now I'll go back to my beer.

Edited May 3, 2018 by TunnelRat69
changing a word

[The Theory]

The best way to me is:

just leave her alone and see what will happen next. 

If she comes after you then you will be able to find the truth behind her, perhaps not imidiatly but keep show that you have lost your interest in her. And if she shows no interest then just forget about her and move on, because most probably there is a Thai man behind her.

 

[Enoon]

OP :

 

How is having sex only/as much as, twice in 3 months ....."traditional"?

 

Is that your way of characterising someone who didn't want to repeat the experience as a "nice girl"?

 

Someone who it was appropriate to barrage with your romantic fantasies?

 

There was another nutter on here a couple of years ago who was desperately trying to "pursue and woo" a woman who was basically just "another woman who wasn't really interested/had lost interest, but liked the chocolates".

 

Was that you (and were you trolling then) as well?

 

 

Edited May 3, 2018 by Enoon

[ericthai]

OP dont worry, she's just visiting her brother!

 

[cornishcarlos]

16 hours ago, colinneil said:

My wife was 42 when we married, never had a boyfriend, and before you or anyone else starts with smart comments,my wife has 1 sister 54, 1 sister 43 they have never had boyfriends.

 

Must be one ugly family 

 

Sorry Colin, couldn't resist that one...

[Hummin]

6 hours ago, canerandagio said:

 

How can it be possible that the great majority in this forum can only think of sex and not understand the value of understanding people's behaviour... really reading this forum is a great way to learn about people... not only the OP...

Simply, if there is attraction, there is sex, if there is feelings there is sex, and if there is love, there will be romantic, and if there is any of this, people want to see each other. 

 

But as you say, if there is a relationship based on pure sense, there can take som time to prove you are th eright one. Obvious, somewhere he lost the signals from her, and do not understand she is like every other woman he meet. It is a good learning to be rejected even for a handsum decent man in his best age even in thailand. 

[Hummin]

I have to admit I did not that op´s post serious from beginning of, because of several reasons. He might be genuin, but not so sure

[Watchful]

I recommend that:

 

EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY, you ignore my advice! 

[Goodintentions]

8 hours ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

OP, take a few seconds to read my reply. I'm totally inexperienced and a complete loser, but still....

 

First of all, I am perhaps wrongfully assuming that most folks here replying to you are with leg spreaders from Pattaya, so you should naturally disregard their advice. Lo and behold, some Thai women in their 40s are not into sex especially if they are career women as you say and don't depend on farang provider. Let's also be perfectly honest....sex with the same person gets boring. I have been in quite a few long term relationships and after a few months the dirty stuff literally nosedives....especially once you get older. Variety is the spice of life. The only problem is....do you want to settle with Thai women of dubious character, or do you want a reliable woman in your life?

 

I am also taking a wild guess that her behavior is also a message to you that she doesn't need you and can survive just fine on her own. Those kind of women in Thailand are absolute ballz busters and a diamond in the rough.

 

Personally, I think you should stick with this lady. Thai women are quite annoying with their silence, but once you spend enough time together you'll be able to read them. Perhaps she's simply not being an idiot by allowing herself to be seen with someone who is not truly committed to a relationship. My wife is also traditional and a career woman. I can tell you this....she never met any of her sisters boyfriends simply because the boyfriends weren't serious. I mean none....ever.

 

I personally think this girl might be a great catch, but you gotta admit....stalking is a bit creepish.

Yes agreed on all points ! Thanks for your advice.

You can tell clearly that many responders here have zero understanding of traditional Thai women who have professional careers, or have not read through my comments in their entirety. I sift through the crap to get to the actual advice. 

And yes, although I did stalk, and wholeheartedly admit it it on those two occasions in my OP. This is not who I am, nor proud of it. That said, when their is my future and USD$$$ at stake, I felt it was justified...although creepy in its entirety.

[Goodintentions]

7 hours ago, Rc2702 said:

No chance there is every chance there is a simple explanation for her clandestine behaviour and the OP is clearly not the type to Jack it in on a hunch and that's all this is until he breaks the case. Case is far from closed to rest easy at night from now until eternity and ensure the "what if" does not cloud the rest of his life.

He needs hard evidence. 

That certainly sums it up and would provide the closure I require.

[Goodintentions]

7 hours ago, canerandagio said:

I find it interesting to see how few people can actually understand that there is value in understanding people's behaviour regardless of the merit of the situation. The OP has said it very clearly: he doesn't want to rescue the relationship, so it's time to stop the 'it's over' messages.

He also said several times that he doesn't want to shag around... so it's time to stop telling him to find another one to shag, or to shag this one 'occasionally'.

He also said a few times that he doesn't intend to convince her to go back to him or to persecute her or punish her... he just wants to understand what is going on... so it's time to stop telling the OP he is a stalker...

If she is a lier she deserves to be dealt with with adequate means to establish the truth...

How can it be possible that the great majority in this forum can only think of sex and not understand the value of understanding people's behaviour... really reading this forum is a great way to learn about people... not only the OP...

That is my thoughts, thanks for summarizing !

[colinneil]

2 minutes ago, Goodintentions said:

Yes agreed on all points ! Thanks for your advice.

You can tell clearly that many responders here have zero understanding of traditional Thai women who have professional careers, or have not read through my comments in their entirety. I sift through the crap to get to the actual advice. 

And yes, although I did stalk, and wholeheartedly admit it it on those two occasions in my OP. This is not who I am, nor proud of it. That said, when their is my future and USD$$$ at stake, I felt it was justified...although creepy in its entirety.

You say we have no understanding of traditional Thai women, wake up.

I married a traditional Thai lady, school director, no touching or sex before we married.

You have no idea what you are talking about.

You admit to stalking your own girlfriend, hells teeth that is the lowest of the low.