Retired paraplegic Brit: "I am like a prisoner in my own home"

[The Deerhunter]

10 hours ago, Pat in Pattaya said:

 

''Colin came more than 50 times to Thailand over a 21 year period''

 

Mmmm. Now I wonder why that was? All the lovely places to visit in the world (many closer to the UK) but was a serial visitor to Thailand. That said, all the best Col.

Who cares why he came here more than 20 years ago or how many times?  He had the money and time to do so then and eventually chose to settle down with a wife and retire here.  Are you jealous?   It is not like his earlier visits caused his current problem. They are irrelevant to his current life style and problems.  I road tested more than a few relationships and one night stands as a dance hall lounge lizard back home as a young guy and then more than a few more here later in life too. It's called living.  But I also have settled here to live out my retirement in a legal marriage repeated in two countries.    That was then.  This is now.  Give him a break. 

Edited June 12, 2018 by The Deerhunter

[faraday]

20 minutes ago, wvavin said:

It is always sad when you know a friend is in this situation.

Yup, I agree.

 

Although to many of us, Colin is just a poster on tvf  - we don't know him in real life - but when I read his original thread: I worried about him, in a concerned way.

 

I guess what I'm attempting to say is, that in a kind of obscure way, I think of him as a friend.

 

A real British Bulldog.

 

 

Edited June 12, 2018 by faraday

[geriatrickid]

I appreciate the serious nature of the  situation, but honestly, the wife is right and it is time  the gentleman listened to her.

 

His wife has suggested a move back to the UK - Colin is from Preston in the north west of England - but he has ruled this out due to his age and his injuries. 

 

This poor 49 year old woman is stuck taking care of an invalid, plus she has a job, plus she has a family to care for her. If anyone thinks that this will go on like this without killing her at an early age, they are wrong. A move back to the UK should be effected asap. It will be the physicians who will determine suitability due to injury. The UK will allow for better care such as physiotherapy, ambulatory support, home care and palliative care.  if the gentleman thinks he has problems now, wait until the wife has an emotional meltdown or the kids move away because they can't handle the stress.

 

He may not want to move, but the people who are stuck with the responsibility of caring for him most likely want the move. Appreciably, not my life and not my business, but there is an appropriate solution available and common sense says to move back to the UK. I am sorry that this poor woman has this to look forward to. As cruel as  this reads, the reality is that the subject is 70 and spends 16 hours in bed. He is going to have a shortened life expectancy and it is time to think of the best interests of this woman and her children. Don't condemn her to years of back pain and fatigue and emotional stress, all because the subject does not wish to go home. Go home.

[Tony125]

7 hours ago, colinneil said:

Read your post with interest Sheryl, my biggest problem is getting my wife to agree to move.

I was born here, my family are here, you want to move because you and my family do not get on, bla bla, bla.

We could move into Banphai, it is only 3 kilometers away, but she keeps saying a like village not city.

Regarding health care, we are only 3 ks away from the hospital, so distance is not a problem.

 

7

Poster said Colin had visited 50 times over 21 years ( about twice a year) I have friends who come over 3--4 times a year once 5 times so his trips are not a lot just average. Sometimes we are stuck with the choices we made in the past. You said your wife said you want to move because you don't get along with her family which is correct right? I remember you posting once that your wife had to work late and asked her sister to come over and get you something to eat and turn on aircon but  she never did. You had to sit there and wait till your wife got home--sister said I not help farang. I dated 4 Thai girls and things would have been ok with all 4's families. When I had a heart attack my wife's aunts/uncles, cousins, siblings, father all came down to my hospital in BKK from Phitchit, Pak Chong, Pattaya, Rayong and BKK to see me.It's not just the wife you have to check out. Maybe you can convince her to leave because of the safety issue but if not I guess your stuck there but better than being in a nursing home in old England without  a caring wife . Good luck to you anyway and hope you find a solution that works for you.

[lvr181]

And yet some posters complain about "nanny states". Possibly Colin and his family may feel better and be better looked after if they were living in a "nanny state"!

 

Colin bears a heavy cross and I can only wonder how he does it. He seems to generally accept his lot in life but he is surely entitled to be angry from time to time about how Thai authorities have let him down.

 

Take care mate! Always interested in your comments - some make me smile.

 

 

You can do it 

[Tchooptip]

I am speechless to hear this story, I'm probably too sensitive for I must even make an effort to hold back my tears, but in my humble opinion I'm not the only one,

in any case, I'm with you wholeheartedly, and I'm not the only one either,  sure!  No need to add IMHO 

 

 

[free123]

10 hours ago, colinneil said:

For your information mate, yes i came here a lot, after visiting 24 other countries found Thailand better than most of the others, and yes i came here for the ladies... You happy now.

very understandable...and nothing wrong with it...I think you see a lot in life and in Thailand ...why not write it all down in a book...?

Edited June 12, 2018 by free123

[thaiguzzi]

39 minutes ago, geriatrickid said:

Appreciably, not my life and not my business,

Exactly. So best not say anymore.

Leave the guy alone.

Jeez, some people...

[colinneil]

36 minutes ago, geriatrickid said:

I appreciate the serious nature of the  situation, but honestly, the wife is right and it is time  the gentleman listened to her.

 

His wife has suggested a move back to the UK - Colin is from Preston in the north west of England - but he has ruled this out due to his age and his injuries. 

 

This poor 49 year old woman is stuck taking care of an invalid, plus she has a job, plus she has a family to care for her. If anyone thinks that this will go on like this without killing her at an early age, they are wrong. A move back to the UK should be effected asap. It will be the physicians who will determine suitability due to injury. The UK will allow for better care such as physiotherapy, ambulatory support, home care and palliative care.  if the gentleman thinks he has problems now, wait until the wife has an emotional meltdown or the kids move away because they can't handle the stress.

 

He may not want to move, but the people who are stuck with the responsibility of caring for him most likely want the move. Appreciably, not my life and not my business, but there is an appropriate solution available and common sense says to move back to the UK. I am sorry that this poor woman has this to look forward to. As cruel as  this reads, the reality is that the subject is 70 and spends 16 hours in bed. He is going to have a shortened life expectancy and it is time to think of the best interests of this woman and her children. Don't condemn her to years of back pain and fatigue and emotional stress, all because the subject does not wish to go home. Go home.

 Your post makes interesting reading, but there are no children involved.

Also if we went to the UK, when i died my wif would come back here, no job, no pension, no future.

Better for her we stay here, she has a good  well paid job, and good pension.

[colinneil]

1 hour ago, Sheryl said:

3 km away from what level of hospital? If Ban Phai that is just a small community hospital, limited capacities.

 

Khon Kaen town would be a whole lot safer both in terms of crime and health care.

 

Re your wife, is she not at all spooked by the recent murder??

Yes Sheryl she is really spooked worse than me.

[Tchooptip]

10 hours ago, Pat in Pattaya said:

Not sure about happy. I will give you some credit for admitting you were a sex tourist for many years. Good to luck ya.

First of all Colin always tried to add some humour in most of his posts, by the way, his prefered emoji and most used is  this one  

I think that the idea of a touch of humour does not even bother you when writing your kind answer.

[Lenard52]

10 hours ago, colinneil said:

Well i was asked about a photo, but declined, as i am thinking about my wifes safety.

I doubt a Thai will read your complaint to see your photo.

 

Besides, how many paraplegics Brits live in a village near Ban Phai south of Khon Kaen?

 

If it's that bad, move!

 

[Ulic]

Fingers crossed for you that the police straighten this out. 

[jenny2017]

8 minutes ago, colinneil said:

 Your post makes interesting reading, but there are no children involved.

Also if we went to the UK, when i died my wif would come back here, no job, no pension, no future.

Better for her we stay here, she has a good  well paid job, and good pension.

 Just take it easy and don't forget to think positive. Life's sometimes a female dog. 

 

   

[BangkokReady]

12 hours ago, webfact said:

His wife has suggested a move back to the UK - Colin is from Preston in the north west of England - but he has ruled this out due to his age and his injuries. 

How do age and injuries prevent this? I would have thought it would be money and preference.

[BangkokReady]

2 hours ago, The Deerhunter said:

Who cares why he came here more than 20 years ago or how many times?

Ummm, you and your big wall of text?

[MartinBangkok]

10 hours ago, colinneil said:

Have thought about moving, but being paraplegic makes things a lot harder.

I cannot get on my bed without assistance, ok have an electric winch but still need help.

If we did move, the home would have t be adapted for me, ramps/ winches etc.

Also my wife was born only 100 meters from here, her family are all here.

What about discreetly complaining to the province authorities about the situation (the drug-family). Or is that a dumb idea?

[Bendi]

So wats new? Its all going to hell. Dont like it! Go home.

[exemplary21]

13 hours ago, colinneil said:

In answer to your question, neither my wife or myself have had any problems.

 

Begs the question... why do you feel like a prisoner in your own home?

[csabo]

10 hours ago, BritManToo said:

If you're not happy, no point in staying there.

If she wants to stand in the way of you being happy, no point in taking her with you.

 

You've got to live for YOU.

"This place makes me unhappy, I'm moving, I'd like you to come with me ........ up to you"

Hah! When Colin says his wife is his "better half" he means she's the legs! 

[ScammedInThailand]

12 hours ago, bannork said:

What a load of horse manure. 

Really? Then perhaps you can explain why John Stapleton's extensively researched 2015 book ''Thailand: Deadly Destination'' strongly asserted that the kingdom was the 'most dangerous holiday destination in the world'? And also why in 2017, the World Economic Forum listed Thailand as the 17th most dangerous country to visit or live in? 

 

 

[colinneil]

I have read every post on this thread, and i am humbled by all the messages offering good wishes, and the messages of support, to all those members a very BIG thank you, thanks also to darkssidedog for stopping the riff raff from destroying this  thread.

 

Many posts about this is not happening in my neighborhood, well my friends it is not only in my village, but everywhere, maybe not as open or bad as here, but it is there.

 

Now a hand full of posters have been downright nasty towards me, well i pity them, they must have such hollow, sad, boring lives that they have nothing better to do.

To those people i say, you will not grind me down, only make me stronger.

I hope they never have to go through what i have been through, in the words of my good friend !! jip 99 !!

Colin has been to hell and back.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[bannork]

3 hours ago, ScammedInThailand said:

Really? Then perhaps you can explain why John Stapleton's extensively researched 2015 book ''Thailand: Deadly Destination'' strongly asserted that the kingdom was the 'most dangerous holiday destination in the world'? And also why in 2017, the World Economic Forum listed Thailand as the 17th most dangerous country to visit or live in? 

 

Perhaps John Stapleton was trying to sell his book.

I can say that in 30 years here, the most dangerous aspect of life is by far the driving. I've never been mugged robbed, or a victim of a scam, but then I don't hang around places where riff-raff, both Thai and foreign, congregate.

Colin has been unlucky with his drug dealing fellow villagers and ineffective village head and police.

Time to contact Big Joke, anonymously of course!

 

 

 

[Blackheart1916]

16 hours ago, poanoi said:

no, i'm speaking for all of us ole farts

No you're not. Not this one at least. 

[poanoi]

18 minutes ago, Blackheart1916 said:

No you're not. Not this one at least. 

yes, i am

[watso63]

I sympathise with this bloke but how can someone who spends 16 hours each day in bed and a lot of time contributing on the Thaivisa forums possibly know what is truly happening in the locale? He has not received any personal interaction with the druggie family he accuses of anti-social behaviour so better keep quiet, stay out of it and stop listening to gossip. (Only reacting to the original post, haven't read through the replies)

Edited June 13, 2018 by watso63

[DepDavid]

I’m just guessing but they probably won’t notice any photo on here because they don’t read!

[colinneil]

19 minutes ago, watso63 said:

I sympathise with this bloke but how can someone who spends 16 hours each day in bed and a lot of time contributing on the Thaivisa forums possibly know what is truly happening in the locale? He has not received any personal interaction with the druggie family he accuses of anti-social behaviour so better keep quiet, stay out of it and stop listening to gossip. (Only reacting to the original post, haven't read through the replies)

Well mate to answer your point about how do i know what is happening.... Answer is easy it is happening directly outside our home, interaction you say some of those involved live next door to us, so only 4 meters away from where i am now.

It is not gossip it is fact, i see it daily.

Regarding my being on my bed 16 hours a day, it is clear you know nothing about paraplegia, maybe you should take time  looking on Google learning more about it, then you would be better placed to comment.

Edited June 13, 2018 by colinneil

[faraday]

21 minutes ago, watso63 said:

I sympathise with this bloke but how can someone who spends 16 hours each day in bed and a lot of time contributing on the Thaivisa forums possibly know what is truly happening in the locale? He has not received any personal interaction with the druggie family he accuses of anti-social behaviour so better keep quiet, stay out of it and stop listening to gossip. (Only reacting to the original post, haven't read through the replies)

Ok, my reply to you will be polite.

 

You clearly have not read the original post.

[Andrew Dwyer]

Colin’s situation serves as a lesson to us all !!

Don't forget the reason he is in this state is down to a motorcycle accident that, in the blink of an eye, changed his life forever !!

 

Stay safe out there people , or at least do your best to minimise the risks !!

 

Colin is also a benchmark that we should all aim for !!

When your life is turned upside down unexpectedly, keep your humour and tell it like it is. Colin’s posts are  always to the point, whether his wicked wit or his ability to retain his label as Thailand’s Number One Cranky Old Bugger, they are always worth a read !!

 

Colin, now is the time to push your wife into making a move, due to recent events she surely must be feeling insecure and might consider a move to Khon Kaen ( or somewhere similar).

 

Many posters have offered to visit Colin and I hope that happens, I personally am a long way from him ( 370 km ) but am planning a visit Isaan way later this year and will try to take a detour to visit him.

 

Colin, keep your chin up and keep us informed of any activity , keep posting ( on any thread ) as your threads are always good for a giggle ( even your serious ones ?).

 

All the best mate !!