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Bar girl = Prostitute?


Hummin

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I came to see this Quora question about Thai women and sex. Is a bar girl  prostitute when they go with customers?  Some go more often than others,  and some I have been talking to, just go sometime for fun, dinners, dating and other like normal girls do. Do the bar girls think of themselves as prostitutes? 

 

Even if you travel to Samui, Phuket, Pattaya, or Bangkok's tourist areas and bars, only a fraction of the women here are sex workers. Most women would not dream of prostituting themselves, and it would be insulting to approach them with that assumption. Many work in these areas as cleaners, shop workers, travel agents, etc. Certainly Thai people are not hung up about sex the way Europeans are (a remnant of strict religious orders) but they are modest. Public displays of affection are frowned upon, for instance. Thai woman do not readily like to undress in front of others (Thai girls will more often swim fully clothed in teeshirts and jeans than a bikini), and have a culture of respect for personal space. Pole dancing and wearing skimpy clothes does not come readily

 

Some interesting comments to in this article

https://www.quora.com/Thailand-Do-Thai-women-have-comparatively-more-relaxed-views-on-prostitution

 

 

On the other hand there is plenty articles like this

http://tastythailand.com/why-dating-or-marrying-a-thai-bar-girl-prostitute-is-a-bad-idea-a-lot-of-farang-men-in-thailand-do/

Edited by Hummin
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12 minutes ago, jerojero said:

Is a bar girl a prostitute when.... Idiotic question. Of course they are! Sheesh.

Thats interesting, jump to that conclusion even not know where the bar is, what bar it is, and the girl!

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1 hour ago, Hummin said:

Is a bar girl  prostitute when they go with customers?

You made a valid point in your earlier post as to what sort of bar it is, not all bars in Thailand work the 'bar fine' model.

 

To me, if a girl working in a bar is bar-fined, or if the purpose of leaving with a customer is strictly financial, then yes, without question they are prostituting themselves. If however they are just fun loving girls who have hit an attraction for a customer and leaves when the bar closes, who knows? I certainly wouldn't judge them for wanting fun, even if it did involve sex later on. Have too many fond memories still, after all this time of my earlier days in Thailand during the 80's & 90's. 

 

That was as a customer by the way, even then it would have been hard to get a WP and besides, I could never keep those stocking seams straight.................:w00t:

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Just now, chrisinth said:

You made a valid point in your earlier post as to what sort of bar it is, not all bars in Thailand work the 'bar fine' model.

 

To me, if a girl working in a bar is bar-fined, or if the purpose of leaving with a customer is strictly financial, then yes, without question they are prostituting themselves. If however they are just fun loving girls who have hit an attraction for a customer and leaves when the bar closes, who knows? I certainly wouldn't judge them for wanting fun, even if it did involve sex later on. Have too many fond memories still, after all this time of my earlier days in Thailand during the 80's & 90's. 

 

That was as a customer by the way, even then it would have been hard to get a WP and besides, I could never keep those stocking seams straight.................:w00t:

The defining factor is $$$. I have had lots free sex and paid for 'some' and I know what the difference is. Most of them are 'in-between' and are grateful for 'gas money' (not related to the sex of course)  haha.

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14 minutes ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

Since Thailand is a class system I would expect that any bar girl is in fact, a prostitute.

 

Just because they act offended in front of you, doesn't really mean anything.

 

This is not the West where girls in skirts serve beers for tips. Out of thousands of family and friends my wife has I don't know of a single one that works in a bar.

 

I am not judgmental (ok, I'm a liar - I am), but Thais are.

I ran a bar here for 12 years. Granted, not in any tourist area, but never once did the bar take bar fines. None of the girls were available for 'take aways', they were not necessarily those type of girls. But that is not to say that relationships didn't happen, hence my previous post about what sort of bar we are talking about.

 

And just to clarify, not having bar fines was a choice, could easily have gone that way but decided on the family atmosphere instead. 

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Tourist places have them all, and everyone is looking for something! Still some girls seems genuin, and yes I know whats behind. Still most foreigners do marry bar ladies and bring them home, and that was the intention for most girls I believe? Some get stuck, some get hoocked, and some find the man easy and leave. 

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Do Thai women have comparatively more relaxed views on prostitution?

 

yes, but not the way it was here described,

but its so common place here the bad stigma is

overridden altogether with the prospect of cash.

and on the face of it, they are more rational than myself,

my ethics never brought wealth or anything else,

on the contrary it seem it has been a money drain

without offset

Edited by poanoi
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1 hour ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Two weeks later a friend arrived. He also picked up a girl in Pattaya. I will never forget the reaction of "my girl". "That's a prostitute!" It seems some of them have different interpretations of that word.

More like some of them have a delusional 'self image'.

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Bar girl has long been a euphemism for prostitute.  As an aside "girl" is also a euphemism in many cases. 

 

If your question is whether any woman who works in a bar is a prostitute, then the answer is of course not.  But I wouldn't call them bar girls any more than I would call myself gay to indicate I'm feeling happy.

Edited by ChidlomDweller
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1 minute ago, BritManToo said:

But they're nearly all available out of hours.

And the hotel staff, and the coffee shop girls, and the restaurant waitress, etc.

But then we get into the difference between relationships and just asking for money for sex. Certainly not saying it doesn't happen but IMO not as generalized as a lot of people make out.

 

There are grey areas for sure. 

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This topic is now closed since it is in violation of this Forum Rule.

 

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17) You will not discuss the specifics of prostitution. Though Thailand has a visible sex industry, and acknowledgement of that fact is not forbidden, ThaiVisa is not the place to seek or give information on this topic, regardless of your sexual habits, preferences or orientation.

 

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