Are Thai Ladies Justified In Being Paid Every Month By Their Boyfriend/Husband, Or Does It Create The Perception Of Long Term Prostitution?

[swissie]

A long time ago I acted like "a gentleman of the old school" when it came to women. (Polite, considerate, understanding). No kidding!
Over time this resulted in an "imbalance" within a relationship. In many ways it worked out quite well for the Ladies, much less so for me, unfortunately.

I changed strategy: These days, when I come home, I exclaim at the doorstep: "Honey I am home, ME TARZAN, YOU JANE AND IT'S ALWAYS MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY!"
Ever since, my relationships are more stable than ever. Especially in Thailand, where it is expected that the husband acts as the sole "commander in chief" within a family.

 

The doctrine, that even 6 year old children have to be included in discussions to make "family decisions" is strictly a modern day European perversion, that (fortunately) has not reached the shores of Thailand yet.

No wonder, that by not assuming this role, it dosn't take long before a Farang is being considered a Whimp, a Pansie or just a walking ATM.
A successful concept that has worked well in the past. Even for the old Babylonians. Archeology has not yet produced any stone-tablets where the word "divorce" appears.
Cheers.
PS: Not off topic, because in the end, is all about money and it's distribution.

[Spidey]

5 hours ago, bwpage3 said:

I think there is a few common denominators in all this cheap charlie behavior:

1. Been divorced already
2. Want to be with a women, have children, yet don't want to give her equal financial rights
3. Insecurity, she will leave to be with someone that will give her money so don't give her enough to take off.
4. Don't have much money these days to begin with yet want to start a new family with someone much younger.

How far from the truth is this? You really know nothing about me , yet make wild assumptions. Just to give you a flavour of how wrong you are:

 

1. Never been divorced.

2. Never wanted children.

3. She has a savings account that she puts money into every month.

4. I have more than enough money (company pension, share portfolio, savings account and more. State pension coming soon.) to live in the style I'm accustomed to. Didn't start a new family. Not massively younger than my previous wife.

 

Care to get anything else wrong?

[AdamTheFarang]

4 hours ago, jenny2017 said:

It's your lucky day! No chance to meet her without this forum, methinks. Please message me for her details. Her smile is honest. 

Making fun of mature people is not pleasant. Have some respect. Admin please delete these posts of this lady she does not need this attention.

[bwpage3]

17 hours ago, Spidey said:

How far from the truth is this? You really know nothing about me , yet make wild assumptions. Just to give you a flavour of how wrong you are:

 

1. Never been divorced.

2. Never wanted children.

3. She has a savings account that she puts money into every month.

4. I have more than enough money (company pension, share portfolio, savings account and more. State pension coming soon.) to live in the style I'm accustomed to. Didn't start a new family. Not massively younger than my previous wife.

 

Care to get anything else wrong?

First, learn how to read.

 

This clearly stated Cheap Charlie Behavior and not you personally.

 

 

 

Edited August 10, 2018 by bwpage3

[Spidey]

Before arrogantly tru

12 hours ago, bwpage3 said:

First, learn how to read.

 

This clearly stated Cheap Charlie Behavior and not you personally.

 

 

Before lecturing others, learn how to write. You made your whole post personal by beginning it with this:

 

On ‎8‎/‎9‎/‎2018 at 12:13 PM, bwpage3 said:

My, what a big spender you are! 

 

[5633572526]

On 8/7/2018 at 8:28 PM, AdamTheFarang said:

I am asking in general in the world of equality why do men still pay more than woman?

Men and women are not equal in Thailand 

[Shiver]

7 minutes ago, 5633572526 said:

Men and women are not equal in Thailand 

I don't think they even want equality.  More that they want to do their role and you do yours (nurture induced to a fair degree I would imagine).  I do wonder what Germain Greer would think, and I don't wonder that I'd disagree with her.  But I'll call my opinion equal to hers anyhow.  Onto more palatable imagery, if she wants to be the matriarch of the family and you to be the bread winner, I'm completely content with that.  Some things from 50 years ago are better than today.

Edited August 11, 2018 by Shiver

[Spidey]

31 minutes ago, Shiver said:

I don't think they even want equality.  More that they want to do their role and you do yours (nurture induced to a fair degree I would imagine).  I do wonder what Germain Greer would think, and I don't wonder that I'd disagree with her.  But I'll call my opinion equal to hers anyhow.  Onto more palatable imagery, if she wants to be the matriarch of the family and you to be the bread winner, I'm completely content with that.  Some things from 50 years ago are better than today.

Absolutely true. I have always considered women to be my equals. With my UK wife we shared all the household tasks, apart from, I refused to do the ironing and she refused to do the gardening. Once I'd retired (she hadn't), most of the household tasks fell to me, particularly the cooking which had always been a hobby and I enjoyed the task.

 

When I got together with my Thai wife, it was by far the hardest thing to adjust to. I am not allowed to set foot in the garden, even to do the donkey work. I had been looking forward to cultivating a garden in the tropics. I'm not even allowed to water my beloved orchids.

 

I recently had a top of the range, European style kitchen installed (albeit my wife had the worktops fitted uncomfortably low for me) with the hope of rekindling my love for cooking. I still haven't been allowed to make as much as breakfast in there.

 

I have lost count of the number of years it is since I cut my own nails. Something my farang wife would bluntly refuse to do.

 

When I moved to Thailand I was the ideal weight for my height. Now I'm several kilos overweight. My wife prefers me this way as it sends the message to her friends and family that she's "taking good care" of her husband. Man bring home bacon, wife cook it.

 

As for sex, her wish is my command - I'll say no more than that, but it's brilliant!

 

It's a Thai woman's role in life to take good care of her man, it's ingrained in them, you'll never change it.

 

Rather than beat your self up for your chauvinistic behaviour, just lie back and enjoy it - it's your duty!

 

Edited August 11, 2018 by Spidey

[BobBKK]

59 minutes ago, Spidey said:

Absolutely true. I have always considered women to be my equals. With my UK wife we shared all the household tasks, apart from, I refused to do the ironing and she refused to do the gardening. Once I'd retired (she hadn't), most of the household tasks fell to me, particularly the cooking which had always been a hobby and I enjoyed the task.

 

When I got together with my Thai wife, it was by far the hardest thing to adjust to. I am not allowed to set foot in the garden, even to do the donkey work. I had been looking forward to cultivating a garden in the tropics. I'm not even allowed to water my beloved orchids.

 

I recently had a top of the range, European style kitchen installed (albeit my wife had the worktops fitted uncomfortably low for me) with the hope of rekindling my love for cooking. I still haven't been allowed to make as much as breakfast in there.

 

I have lost count of the number of years it is since I cut my own nails. Something my farang wife would bluntly refuse to do.

 

When I moved to Thailand I was the ideal weight for my height. Now I'm several kilos overweight. My wife prefers me this way as it sends the message to her friends and family that she's "taking good care" of her husband. Man bring home bacon, wife cook it.

 

As for sex, her wish is my command - I'll say no more than that, but it's brilliant!

 

It's a Thai woman's role in life to take good care of her man, it's ingrained in them, you'll never change it.

 

Rather than beat your self up for your chauvinistic behaviour, just lie back and enjoy it - it's your duty!

 

You pay she demands?  if you didn't like it you would not be with her.  Can't understand why any guy would come here and marry but there you go horses for courses as they say.

[AdamTheFarang]

1 hour ago, Spidey said:

Absolutely true. I have always considered women to be my equals. With my UK wife we shared all the household tasks, apart from, I refused to do the ironing and she refused to do the gardening. Once I'd retired (she hadn't), most of the household tasks fell to me, particularly the cooking which had always been a hobby and I enjoyed the task.

 

When I got together with my Thai wife, it was by far the hardest thing to adjust to. I am not allowed to set foot in the garden, even to do the donkey work. I had been looking forward to cultivating a garden in the tropics. I'm not even allowed to water my beloved orchids.

 

I recently had a top of the range, European style kitchen installed (albeit my wife had the worktops fitted uncomfortably low for me) with the hope of rekindling my love for cooking. I still haven't been allowed to make as much as breakfast in there.

 

I have lost count of the number of years it is since I cut my own nails. Something my farang wife would bluntly refuse to do.

 

When I moved to Thailand I was the ideal weight for my height. Now I'm several kilos overweight. My wife prefers me this way as it sends the message to her friends and family that she's "taking good care" of her husband. Man bring home bacon, wife cook it.

 

As for sex, her wish is my command - I'll say no more than that, but it's brilliant!

 

It's a Thai woman's role in life to take good care of her man, it's ingrained in them, you'll never change it.

 

Rather than beat your self up for your chauvinistic behaviour, just lie back and enjoy it - it's your duty!

 

Whatever drugs you are on I don't want any? By the way how much do you pay your Thai wifre per month 50,000Baht or more. Your UK wife worked as you said she did not retire but you did not mention if your Thai wife worked? What would the Thai wife do without you, work in a field in the baking sun and go black. You sound like you have a lot of money and therefore of course she is going to take care of you in the aircon etc You are her ticket out of poverty. You need a trip to reality !!

[BritManToo]

1 hour ago, Spidey said:

I have always considered women to be my equals.

I consider hardly anyone to be my equal, (in my life I've met 3 or 4 people who appeared to be equal or superior to me) but you may well be correct with your assumptions. Everyone is different but usually inferior.

Edited August 11, 2018 by BritManToo

[Spidey]

Just now, AdamTheFarang said:

Whatever drugs you are on I don't want any? By the way how much do you pay your Thai wifre per month 50,000Baht or more. Your UK wife worked as you said she did not retire but you did not mention if your Thai wife worked? What would the Thai wife do without you, work in a field in the baking sun and go black. You sound like you have a lot of money and therefore of course she is going to take care of you in the aircon etc You are her ticket out of poverty. You need a trip to reality !!

As I've said, in a previous post, my wife was a chef in a restaurant before I moved here. Earned 12k baht/month, 12hours per day six days per week. As I hardly ever saw her, it was my idea that she gave up work.

 

Clearly you didn't read or, more likely understand my post, it's the Thai way not just the Thai/ferang way.

 

I give my Thai wife a small allowance (6k) 1 k she sends to her 2 teenage children who live with their father, 1k she puts in a savings account and the rest she spends on personal items, trips to the salon, gifts for me etc.

 

Yes, I have lifted her out of poverty, is that a bad thing? It's something that I'm proud of, something good that I've done with my life and have been amply rewarded for it. She's worked hard all her life, was thrown out of the house with just the clothes on her back when her Thai husband moved his mia noi in. She's a fantastic person and if I can give her a happier life, she thoroughly deserves it.

 

When my farang wife gave up work to look after our 2 small children, I gave her an allowance (much greater than 6k baht!).

 

You need a trip to reality, it's not Thai women that are cynical and mercenary, it's the bitter and twisted farangs who need to get over themselves.

[Spidey]

11 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I consider hardly anyone to be my equal, (in my life I've met 3 or 4 people who appeared to be equal or superior to me) but you may well be correct with your assumptions. Everyone is different but usually inferior.

You are that typical farang that I described in my previous post. You really need to get over yourself!

 

In the West I wouldn't even consider a serious relationship with anyone unless I regarded them as my equal.

[BritManToo]

4 minutes ago, Spidey said:

You are that typical farang that I described in my previous post. You really need to get over yourself!

In the West I wouldn't even consider a serious relationship with anyone unless I regarded them as my equal.

1

But at least I'm not a racist and know more than one Thai word.

Unfortunately, when you are one of the most exceptional in the world, you have to lower your standards for friends and partners or remain alone. I did once date a woman who was my equal, the sex was good but we constantly fought for supremacy.

 

Edited August 11, 2018 by BritManToo

[Spidey]

Just now, BritManToo said:

But at least I'm not a racist.

And know more than one Thai word.

I'm not racist, how could I be if I'm married to a Thai?

I speak conversational Thai and Lao. Also French and a little Kmer.

[BritManToo]

Just now, Spidey said:

I'm not racist, how could I be if I'm married to a Thai?

I speak conversational Thai and Lao. Also French and a little Kmer.

So why call white foreigners 'farang'? Sorry, I always avoid such people as not worth mixing with.

[Spidey]

4 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

So why call white foreigners 'farang'? Sorry, I always avoid such people as not worth mixing with.

It's commonly used in Thailand by both farangs and Thais. Contrary to some very snobbish and uninformed posters on this board, it's not regarded as an insult, just a word to describe a Westerner. Baxi da in Lao (often pronounced maxi da).

 

HiSo Thais might disagree with me but I avoid inveterate snobs like the plague. Much prefer associating with baan noak.

Edited August 11, 2018 by Spidey

[totally thaied up]

14 minutes ago, Spidey said:

You need a trip to reality, it's not Thai women that are cynical and mercenary, it's the bitter and twisted farangs who need to get over themselves.

I agree but have to say, due to many guys here getting toasted from Thai bar girls or from women who do take them for the ride, many farangs have the 'cheaper to rent' idea but the problem is, you can never take the bar out of the girl. The bar will always somehow be there. Some bar relationships do work, but most don't. I think this makes many bitter and twisted but then, they are just buying a commodity that can be replaced at any time with a new version.

 

It's the company you hang around. Soon as I got away from the bars, my life improved heaps. What do you get if you are expected to pay from the very get go?

[BritManToo]

5 minutes ago, Spidey said:

It's commonly used in Thailand by both farangs and Thais. Contrary to some very snobbish and uninformed posters on this board, it's not regarded as an insult, just a word to describe a Westerner. Baxi da in Lao (often pronounced maxi da).

 

HiSo Thais might disagree with me but I avoid inveterate snobs like the plague. Much prefer associating with baan noak.

I don't have a problem with Thais that left education before high school saying 'farang', they don't have much in the way of vocabulary or understanding of the outside world. You should know better. (Baksida and farang are both words for guava)

The Thais around me are far more polite and always use an appropriate honorific, lung, pee, nong, and daddy.

('daddy' from the female university students that hang out at my place sometimes)

[Spidey]

Just now, totally thaied up said:

I agree but have to say, due to many guys here getting toasted from Thai bar girls or from women who do take them for the ride, many farangs have the 'cheaper to rent' idea but the problem is, you can never take the bar out of the girl. The bar will always somehow be there. Some bar relationships do work, but most don't. I think this makes many bitter and twisted but then, they are just buying a commodity that can be replaced at any time with a new version.

 

It's the company you hang around. Soon as I got away from the bars, my life improved heaps. What do you get if you are expected to pay from the very get go?

There are more bar girls toasted by farangs than there are farangs toasted by bar girls.

 

The old adage "you can take the girl out of the bar but you can't take the bar out of the girl" although in practice can be true it isn't strictly true.

 

Firstly you must realise that they weren't always bar girls, many lived completely normal lives until circumstances forced them to ply that particular trade.

 

Also, bargirls are brainwashed, quite literally, by their peers and their employers, into the bargirl way of thinking. By using deconditioning techniques (as described by psychologists who have made a profession from returning people to normality after being trapped in a cult), it is possible to take the bar out of the girl. Requires a lot of hard work, time and patience though.

[Kwasaki]

8 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

The Thais around me are far more polite and always use an appropriate honorific, lung, pee, nong, and daddy.

('daddy' from the female university students that hang out at my place sometimes)

I get called Papa. ?

[Spidey]

1 minute ago, BritManToo said:

I don't have a problem with Thais that left education before high school saying 'farang', they don't have much in the way of vocabulary or understanding of the outside world. You should know better. (Baksida and farang are both words for guava)

The Thais around me are far more polite and always use an appropriate honorific, lung, pee, nong, and daddy.

('daddy' from the female university students that hang out at my place sometimes)

Why do Thais use the word farang  for guava? Because it was farangs that introduced guava to Thailand. Westerners were called farang long before guava were!

 

Words like pee and nong aren't equivalents of farang, the are used as much when referring to a Thai as a farang, they don't mean Westerner.

 

Young girls calling you Daddy is a bit sick, I would object to that.

 

All in all, I'll stick to my baan noak, honest and genuine people, referring to me as a farang, you stick to your totally false and snobbish HiSo calling you Daddy!

[Spidey]

1 minute ago, Kwasaki said:

I get called Papa. ?

I get called teerak! ?

[BritManToo]

7 minutes ago, Kwasaki said:

I get called Papa. ?

I've always equated 'papa' with 'someone I wouldn't have sex with'

Whereas 'daddy' is entirely different if a bit pervy.

Edited August 11, 2018 by BritManToo

[BritManToo]

3 minutes ago, Spidey said:

All in all, I'll stick to my baan noak, honest and genuine people, referring to me as a farang, you stick to your totally false and snobbish HiSo calling you Daddy!

2

Female University students, not all that hiso as they allow me to help them with their university fees in exchange for sexual favours.

[Kwasaki]

4 minutes ago, Spidey said:

I get called teerak! ?

?  I don't think my wife would be happy with that from ladies that know me, Papa means old man or father figure to them from what I gather and gets a laugh too.

[Spidey]

Just now, Kwasaki said:

?  I don't think my wife would be happy with that from ladies that know me, Papa means old man or father figure to them from what I gather and gets a laugh too.

Absolutely. Wouldn't call me teerak in front of the wife. Have a 21 year old girl in the house at the moment. Drop dead gorgeous. Comes round and does jobs around the house for us. She's adopted us as her surrogate parents. Calls my wife Mare and me Paw. No chance of a bit on the side there!

[AdamTheFarang]

6 hours ago, AdamTheFarang said:

Whatever drugs you are on I don't want any? By the way how much do you pay your Thai wifre per month 50,000Baht or more. Your UK wife worked as you said she did not retire but you did not mention if your Thai wife worked? What would the Thai wife do without you, work in a field in the baking sun and go black. You sound like you have a lot of money and therefore of course she is going to take care of you in the aircon etc You are her ticket out of poverty. You need a trip to reality !!

So she dominates in the kitchen, she dominates in the bed and the jackpot is domination of your wallet. Maybe time to say "My money is my money Tiruk you have you monthly salary" Amazing how some men arrive in Thailand and think it is Utopialand! 

[bwpage3]

7 hours ago, Spidey said:

As I've said, in a previous post, my wife was a chef in a restaurant before I moved here. Earned 12k baht/month, 12hours per day six days per week. As I hardly ever saw her, it was my idea that she gave up work.

 

Clearly you didn't read or, more likely understand my post, it's the Thai way not just the Thai/ferang way.

 

I give my Thai wife a small allowance (6k) 1 k she sends to her 2 teenage children who live with their father, 1k she puts in a savings account and the rest she spends on personal items, trips to the salon, gifts for me etc.

 

Yes, I have lifted her out of poverty, is that a bad thing? It's something that I'm proud of, something good that I've done with my life and have been amply rewarded for it. She's worked hard all her life, was thrown out of the house with just the clothes on her back when her Thai husband moved his mia noi in. She's a fantastic person and if I can give her a happier life, she thoroughly deserves it.

 

When my farang wife gave up work to look after our 2 small children, I gave her an allowance (much greater than 6k baht!).

 

You need a trip to reality, it's not Thai women that are cynical and mercenary, it's the bitter and twisted farangs who need to get over themselves.

I set my wife up with a Platinum American Express Card, Citibank Diamond and a host of others, her own car, 100% access to the bank where she can go by herself and send money to her father or do what ever else she wants to do.

 

She has a walk in closet most Thai movie stars would envy.

 

She takes her friends out to eat whenever she feels like it

 

I don't consider it giving my wife at all. I consider that I married her for a reason, has nothing to do with her nationality and just because she is Thai I would never treat her any different than any other race as far as shared assets. What is mine is 100% hers!

 

Some of you will come on here bashing someday she will take off with all the money. Well if that happens, then it happens. I still can earn a lot of money and will always have plenty to sustain my own life. Doesn't concern me in the least. No,  I won't be moving back to Thailand when I get older and living in a one room flat.

 

I would never marry anyone that I couldn't trust 100% with everything.

 

She is a great wife and mother, she deserves to be treated equal and have anything she wants.

 

If you are on a fixed budget I can understand people do what they can do financially

 

Others are just selfish bastards who think their Thai wife is a servant

 

However it is possible to have an equal relationship if you married the right person and share everything

 

Cha Ching!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[AdamTheFarang]

7 hours ago, Spidey said:

As I've said, in a previous post, my wife was a chef in a restaurant before I moved here. Earned 12k baht/month, 12hours per day six days per week. As I hardly ever saw her, it was my idea that she gave up work.

 

Clearly you didn't read or, more likely understand my post, it's the Thai way not just the Thai/ferang way.

 

I give my Thai wife a small allowance (6k) 1 k she sends to her 2 teenage children who live with their father, 1k she puts in a savings account and the rest she spends on personal items, trips to the salon, gifts for me etc.

 

Yes, I have lifted her out of poverty, is that a bad thing? It's something that I'm proud of, something good that I've done with my life and have been amply rewarded for it. She's worked hard all her life, was thrown out of the house with just the clothes on her back when her Thai husband moved his mia noi in. She's a fantastic person and if I can give her a happier life, she thoroughly deserves it.

 

When my farang wife gave up work to look after our 2 small children, I gave her an allowance (much greater than 6k baht!).

 

You need a trip to reality, it's not Thai women that are cynical and mercenary, it's the bitter and twisted farangs who need to get over themselves.

At 6K some would say you are a cheap Charlie, be a hero five her 60,000 per month and feel 10 x the good you have done! From the bitter and twisted farang you know nothing about and have never met.