British family's heartbreaking plea to get body home after father-of-five dies in Thailand

[BobBKK]

2 hours ago, Dave67 said:

Those who call him selfish know nothing about depression.

 

Did you READ what I said?

"in a right frame of mind,  to his fishing friends and his family back home but disturbed people do very disturbing things."  so my suggestion was?????????????? 

yes you got it 'he was not selfish because he was not in his right frame of mind he WAS disturbed'   *sigh*

[Retiredandhappyhere]

2 hours ago, Teee said:

RIP young man...so sorry for his kids.

But...

Im sure the British Embassy will give all the help his family needs in getting this poor lads body home.

 

You forgot the sarcasm alert.  Some people might think that you actually believe that.

[stropper]

9 hours ago, tominbkk said:

Easier to have him cremated here and the ashes sent home.

spot on.

[Dave67]

27 minutes ago, BobBKK said:

 

Did you READ what I said?

"in a right frame of mind,  to his fishing friends and his family back home but disturbed people do very disturbing things."  so my suggestion was?????????????? 

yes you got it 'he was not selfish because he was not in his right frame of mind he WAS disturbed'   *sigh*

Calm down mate ,there was more than one poster who made a comment about  the man being selfish and I responded twice to him

[Box fighter]

My condolences to all of Kevin rowlands family at this tragic time, and your minds must be in turmoil.

i indeed lost a very close friend in Thailand this year and I had to tell his two daughters bad enough but having to tell British embassy in Bangkok they put me on to a person who was a master at his job and left it all very easy to do, and with the help of another friend in Pattaya who done his best friends funeral it was far better a funeral than in England and thousands cheaper over and done with, with a lovely atmosphere of friends here and thai people so I explained to my friends daughters and they were happy to go ahead with the cremation in Thailand after photos flowers and the sending of the ashes sent back home to Plymouth England in a beautiful urn the girls were very happy the thai funeral person did everything aotopsy fees the lot, so I like to say to the family that I know first hand it would be a good send off from Thailand and not have the heartbreak of no dad with you but you could still have your service in England, I wish you all the very best in your decision RIP Kevin 

[Katia]

3 hours ago, ukrules said:

Well that's going to be nearly everyone, so don't be surprised that a very large proportion of people think it's very selfish.

 

I think it was a very selfish thing to do, and no, I have no idea about it.

 

If someone I know kills themselves I won't even bother to go to the funeral.

I'm sure they wouldn't want you there.

 

Pretty selfish of you to expect someone to live in pain for decades so you don't have to be sad for a little while.

 

 

2 hours ago, Scouse123 said:

Guys,

 

I will not comment on the suicide as I am not a doctor and do not have sufficient knowledge of mental illness.

 

What I can comment on and with some authority, is the returning of the body to the U.K. and what to expect these days in the UK.

 

I was unfortunate enough to lose my mother and sister in rapid succession this year and of course, flew back twice to attend funerals. What I can tell you is that both of them were cremated, which has become the popular way of funerals in my hometown. These funerals were both in the region of 7,000 GBP plus.

 

I found them rushed, very much a conveyor belt type of service with people almost rushing you out of the door to make way for the next one coming in. I think on hindsight, I would rather have had a burial for my mother and sister, but that is a personal choice and both had funeral plans to cover everything in the event of death. What I did say to my children whilst in the UK, is that if I pass away in Thailand, I will be cremated here and the ashes were to go to my Thai partner to do with as she wishes.

 

When I go,  the funeral is in Thailand at my expense for all food and drink for a three-day festival here. They can do as pleases them in Thai culture with the ashes. My UK family has been informed. If anything goes to the UK, it will be ashes in an urn! I would just like to finish by informing board members that the funeral home, for the above amounts of money and two funerals from the same family, gave us two bags with ashes in cardboard boxes, they even couldn't find it in their budget to provide urns! I mentioned to them had they told us urns were not provided, we would have given them money for said items.

 

I would not be asking the public for funds to fly a body back or crowdfunding if I was in his family's position, if they haven't the funds, then cremate here and have a memorial service back home.

Any funeral is going to seem rushed.  When we buried my grandfather, graveside words and then the funeral director was essentially like "these services are over, bye."  There's always going to be a moment at any funeral when it feels like somebody says "move along, folks, nothing more to see here."

 

My mother had a direct cremation.  Less than $700, memorial service on our own later, no need to have the body hanging around for any services-- why, so people can make sure someone is dead??  I've made it clear that no one is to be staring at my dead body (nor do I need to have it present at any kind of services-- why?  I won't be hearing or participating).  If people are that worried about it when I'm gone, I'll have the coroner sign a notarized affidavit: "I promise she's dead, don't worry." 

[observer90210]

Very sad, RIP to his family.

Reminds many still alive,  to be sure to have appropriate clause in insurance that repatriates a body, cremated or not, back home in case of death.

[tony5150]

If I had five kids I would've off'd myself long ago. One is hard enough.

[Pdavies99]

7 hours ago, Docno said:

I see your point, but we can't expect someone suffering from apparent mental illness to have such rationale thoughts as you're describing. 

Quite right, mental illness is just that! I think that at that time, your thought patterns are not clear and that's why this happens, I don't think many suicides are planned etc in many cases, they just happen.

 

So sorry for family and friends RIP

[Jeremy50]

The friends should have had him cremated straight away, no further agonising for the family in deciding how to get the body home. It's a time for blunt practicalities, bodies in tropical climes should be disposed of quickly, not left hanging around for a few days, and then shipped thousands of miles for some unfortunate UK mortician to try to deal with. 

[ratcatcher]

Quite a few comments regarding cremation in Thailand. Does anyone have a rough estimate of a "Wat funeral - barbecue, as my wife calls them." with the attendant monks and chants etc? Or, are there crematoria that will do the "ashes to ashes , dust to dust" part. 

Surely must be way more practical and less expensive than shipping a corpse back to the UK.

[Ctkong]

2 hours ago, observer90210 said:

Very sad, RIP to his family.

Reminds many still alive,  to be sure to have appropriate clause in insurance that repatriates a body, cremated or not, back home in case of death.

I thought all travel insurance has that repatriation clause...no?

[NobbyClarke]

R.I.P.

However why did his family eve allow him to venture outside of his country given his mental status? Why didn't his so called friends see the danger signs? 

I hope his "friends" have a few sleepless nights with the guilt.

The wife can sell the story to the British newspaper, she doesn't need to resort to begging to get his body home.

I hope she can console the kids.

The message is simple: If you can't control your emotions, don't leave your home country.

I hope the kids will be left with good memories of their father but I am sure they will be mocked and bullied in the playground because of his selfish and thoughtless actions.

[cnx355]

7 hours ago, Artisi said:

I agree, cremate here and send his ashes back by mail, (registered of course) and put the money to good use, his kids. 

Ashes can be carried abord a plane as carry-on luggage. It cost nohing except a ticket for the carrier.

Airlines and funeral home do know about the proper paperwork. Usually plastic or carboard urn to pass the security .

[happy chappie]

Easy way out if you ask me.i have one 20yr old daughter and have made myself poor looking after her.no sympathy.cowards way out after breeding like a madman...if your a man you support your off spring.even went on a fishing trip.pathetic and the family should bed happy now

2 hours ago, Pdavies99 said:

Quite right, mental illness is just that! I think that at that time, your thought patterns are not clear and that's why this happens, I don't think many suicides are planned etc in many cases, they just happen.

 

So sorry for family and friends RIP

He's sounds like a pure selfish bastard.banging babies out and can't  do anything else but kill himself.

[beckenhamsteve]

I don't think links are allowed on this forum so instead if anyone cares to search YouTube for a video called "I had a black dog his name was depression" this gives a small insight into the subject.  

[Rc2702]

RIP to the young chap but 5 kids to feed and choosing to off himself whilst on a jolly up with the lads should give some insight into where this guys priorities lay, before and after he me made those poor children bastards. 

[Scouse123]

2 hours ago, ratcatcher said:

Quite a few comments regarding cremation in Thailand. Does anyone have a rough estimate of a "Wat funeral - barbecue, as my wife calls them." with the attendant monks and chants etc? Or, are there crematoria that will do the "ashes to ashes , dust to dust" part. 

Surely must be way more practical and less expensive than shipping a corpse back to the UK.

 

The actual burning can be done for 10,000 baht.

 

You have a lot of variables with how many monks, where the temple is located ( busier the temple, the more it is ) they charge body storage by the day. With the monks and no big deal, it would be around 20,000 baht to 30,000 baht I am told. This would be without the usual two or three days eating and drinking obviously.

 

Some of the bones are not fully turned into ash I am also told, so his friends would have to go the day after and package up and put it in an urn for transfer to the UK as the monks have no part of that.

[Scott]

Troll posts removed. 

[Scouse123]

3 hours ago, Jeremy50 said:

The friends should have had him cremated straight away, no further agonising for the family in deciding how to get the body home. It's a time for blunt practicalities, bodies in tropical climes should be disposed of quickly, not left hanging around for a few days, and then shipped thousands of miles for some unfortunate UK mortician to try to deal with. 

 

Jeremy50,

 

I am on your side with this but the friends need to clear it with family as nerves will be raw with all this at the moment. Common sense will not be at the forefront.

 

It is a terribly sad situation and I try to remember the old saying about ' walking a mile in their shoes before making judgments' An unfortunate statistic for Thailand, but he isn't the first nor will he be the last that chooses this method.

[balo]

I will not comment if he was selfish or not , we need to be respectful anyway, we all have our own opinions about this tragedy. 

But why did he choose Thailand , he had no connections here , it was just a fishing holiday . Sounds strange to me. 

 

[Letseng]

9 hours ago, Teee said:

RIP young man...so sorry for his kids.

But...

Im sure the British Embassy will give all the help his family needs in getting this poor lads body home.

 

Are you serious with your reference to Brit. Embassy?

[champers]

28 minutes ago, balo said:

I will not comment if he was selfish or not , we need to be respectful anyway, we all have our own opinions about this tragedy. 

But why did he choose Thailand , he had no connections here , it was just a fishing holiday . Sounds strange to me. 

 

He told people at home he was fishing. Doesn't mean he was mainly here for fishing.

 

Edited October 26, 2018 by champers

[alation]

I guess what we all think is not relevant I will be praying for the family that they can raise the money required and to pray that they will all be able to cope with this sad sad thing without fallinginto dispair themselves and of for God's peace 

[blackhorse]

Even though western travel insurance includes repatriation of the body unfortunately all bets are off with suicide

[howbri]

very sad all around. A permanent solution to a temporary problem.

[Katia]

43 minutes ago, howbri said:

very sad all around. A permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Not all problems are temporary.

[colinneil]

15 hours ago, Teee said:

RIP young man...so sorry for his kids.

But...

Im sure the British Embassy will give all the help his family needs in getting this poor lads body home.

 

Are you joking about the British embassy?

All the embassy will say is .... Not our problem.

[jossthaifarang]

18 hours ago, Docno said:

I see your point, but we can't expect someone suffering from apparent mental illness to have such rationale thoughts as you're describing. 

Exactly, that's the part I can't understand. What goes on in the brain.

[Brigante7]

16 hours ago, Teee said:

RIP young man...so sorry for his kids.

But...

Im sure the British Embassy will give all the help his family needs in getting this poor lads body home.

 

Is that your jole for the day? The British embassy in BKK are about as much use as a chocolate fireguard. 

 

 

 

Brigante7.