Worst Joke Ever 2024

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[ballpoint]

"I hear your husband just died?"
"Yes, it was very sudden".
"Did he have any last words"
"He did indeed. He said, 'Yes, your bum does look big in that".

[ballpoint]

I just found out that my best friend suffers from turrets.

Every time he sees a castle he starts swearing

[ballpoint]

My wife said earlier: "I am going out for the morning. Do you want anything?"
Me: "No, that's enough."

[ballpoint]

I just invented a thought controlled air freshener.
Sounds crazy, but it makes scents when you think about it.
 

[ballpoint]

My consultant has told me that I will need complete rest after my operation, but after two weeks I can start doing some light housework.
I said "well that's alright but I live 75 miles from the coast"

[ballpoint]

I sent off for some information on my family tree.

They sent me back a packet of seeds and suggested it would be in my best interest that I just start over again.

[ballpoint]

Our local garden centre is selling garden shelters ridiculously cheaply.

I'm wondering if they really keep out the sun and rain, or are they just a plazebo?

[ballpoint]

The builders working on my house forgot to bring their trowels today.

There was a lot of finger-pointing, I'll tell you!

[DezLez]

8 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

The builders working on my house forgot to bring their trowels today.

There was a lot of finger-pointing, I'll tell you!

Was that because the fill-in foreman for Mr Grouty was spread too thin and failed to turn up?

[DezLez]

11 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

I sent off for some information on my family tree.

They sent me back a packet of seeds and suggested it would be in my best interest that I just start over again.

Does that mean you can now branch out on your own or will you be out on a limb?

[DezLez]

15 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

I just found out that my best friend suffers from turrets.

Every time he sees a castle he starts swearing

Maybe you should keep away!

[Crossy]

 

[Crossy]

 

[Yellowtail]

1 minute ago, Crossy said:

 

The way the bride is laughing, I'm guessing she was a keeper....

[Crossy]

 

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]