Worst Joke Ever 2024

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[ballpoint]

In Construction news, a new innovative and pioneering pneumatic drill has just been invented.

Already it is being hailed as ground breaking.

[ballpoint]

Who's in charge of old McDonald's farm?
The CIEIO.

[ballpoint]

Arguing with a woman is like a software agreement.
In the end you ignore everything and select "I agree".

[ballpoint]

"Love?" I shouted, "do you know how to turn Alexa off?"
"Try walking through the lounge naked," she shouted back.

[ballpoint]

I'm well shattered, no sleep since Sunday, due to some horrid metal clanking noises outside my bedroom window.
That's 2 knights running now.

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

I bought a self assembly bird table from Ikea last week.

I left it in the garden and the lazy buggers haven't even opened the box yet.

[ballpoint]

My wife asked me this morning if I'd seen the dog bowl.
I said " To be honest, I didn't even know he played cricket".

[ballpoint]

A story told by a former RAF flight engineer, which he swears is true (and I hope it is), and is believable:

 

He was on a Royal Charter Tristar, being flown by a couple of management pilots who left their office desks and commandeered the flight, rather than allow some common (but in current practice) line pilots to have the honour.
On landing, these guys well and truly planted the aircraft.

As the passengers were disembarking, Prince Philip stuck his head into the flight deck and said, "If you chaps are looking for your undercarriage, it's right up my wife's ****".

[overherebc]

[ravip]

[Crossy]

On 5/17/2022 at 9:17 AM, ballpoint said:

 

My youngest actually had this.

He was in the RN servicing rotary-wing aircraft (helicopters) for the Royal Marines.

Before shipping out to Afghanistan they collected their gear which included camo (of course) plus a Hi-viz.

The RN argument was that the camo was so the enemy couldn't see you, the hi-viz was so the helicopter pilot could!

There was considerable reticence to wander around a large flat airfield in Helmand Province wearing a large, green X front and back (shoot here!).

He did actually get shot although his mates said it didn't count as his body armour stopped the round without actually injuring anything other than his pride

 

[tomazbodner]

[ballpoint]

1 hour ago, tomazbodner said:

Dyadya Vanya (Uncle Vanya)

 

 

Edited May 18, 2022 by ballpoint

[tomazbodner]

[tomazbodner]

Little Johnny returns home and dad asks what classes he had in school this day....

We had Chemistry class, dad.

Really! And what did you learn?

We learned how to make a dynamite.

That's awesome, son. And what are you learning in school tomorrow?

What school?

[DezLez]

10 hours ago, tomazbodner said:

Little Johnny returns home and dad asks what classes he had in school this day....

We had Chemistry class, dad.

Really! And what did you learn?

We learned how to make a dynamite.

That's awesome, son. And what are you learning in school tomorrow?

What school?

That lesson seems to have gone with a bang!

[KannikaP]

[Zyxel]

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