Worst Joke Ever 2024

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[DezLez]

2 hours ago, WorriedNoodle said:

I do not see "Ice Station Zebra"!

Has it closed for the summer?

[DezLez]

2 hours ago, Zyxel said:

I prefer them peeled or unzipped actually!

 

[DezLez]

2 hours ago, Zyxel said:

That is potentially earth-shattering news!

He should be grounded as having a loose wire in that case!

[DezLez]

2 hours ago, Zyxel said:

That took the cat out the bag!

[dcsw53]

[Crossy]

11 minutes ago, dcsw53 said:

 

Sadly, gone now, but I used to drive past a place near Guildford - "W. Plummit & Son. Winches"

 

And the classics "Siemens, Staines" and "Otis, Reading" (the town Reading is pronounced as redding).

[owl sees all]

 

Why do vegetarians avoid Dagenham, Hammersmith and Brum?

 

Don't like going to places where there is 'ham' in the name.

 

 

[VBF]

29 minutes ago, Crossy said:

 

Sadly, gone now, but I used to drive past a place near Guildford - "W. Plummit & Son. Winches"

 

And the classics "Siemens, Staines" and "Otis, Reading" (the town Reading is pronounced as redding).

Years ago, there was a driving school in North London called "Impact school of motoring" ????

[overherebc]

1 hour ago, Crossy said:

 

Sadly, gone now, but I used to drive past a place near Guildford - "W. Plummit & Son. Winches"

 

And the classics "Siemens, Staines" and "Otis, Reading" (the town Reading is pronounced as redding).

BP offices in Aberdeen had two names on the door of the finance section.

Owen and Swindells.

Kid you not.

[DezLez]

1 hour ago, VBF said:

Years ago, there was a driving school in North London called "Impact school of motoring" ????

Did they give you crash courses?

If so i would give them a swerve!  

 

 

Edited December 7, 2022 by DezLez

[overherebc]

Might need a bigger tube.

[ravip]

[chickenslegs]

I lost my job for giving up my seat on the bus for a pregnant lady.

Apparently you’re not supposed to do that when you’re the driver.

[chickenslegs]

My friend worked in a circus as a human cannonball act.

When he retired they never replaced him - they couldn’t find anyone else of the same calibre.

[chickenslegs]

Apparently it takes up to 12 sheep to make a Christmas jumper.

I didn’t even know that sheep could knit.

[chickenslegs]

I bought a Christmas jumper made of polyester, but it keeps picking up static electricity.

So I’m going to take it back to the shop and get it exchanged for another one  - free of charge…

[fasteddie]

[ravip]

One evening an old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while.

 

He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

 

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond.

 

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

 

One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

 

The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked:'

 

Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator!'

 

Some old men can think fast.

 

[ravip]

[ravip]

[ravip]

 

[oxo1947]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]