Worst Joke Ever 2024

oxo1947 · December 4

oxo1947 · December 4

oxo1947 · December 4

oxo1947 · December 4

oxo1947 · December 4

TWO TIPS FOR CHRISTMAS:
1. Forget the past.
You can't change it.
2. Forget the present I didn't get you one.

CallumWK · December 4

oxo1947 · December 4

ballpoint · December 4

Don't remember this story on here...

Drunken tourists put in cart and wheeled back to hostel by Thai policeman
The women (an Australian and a German) were said to have been found at a nearby bar in Krabi, Thailand, before Sergeant Major Saneg Jualaong came to their rescue.

ballpoint · December 4

ballpoint · December 4

ballpoint · December 4

Scandanielavian Craig

ballpoint · December 4

ballpoint · December 4

Now over to Nora with the weather in Bosnia:

Cold, but sunny, with a big warm front coming in from the east.

ballpoint · December 4

ballpoint · December 4

ballpoint · December 4

Digitalbanana · December 4

oxo1947 · December 4

Crossy · December 4

oxo1947 · December 4

xylophone · December 4

Two 90 year old men, Mike and Joe, have been friends all of their lives. When it's clear that Joe is dying, Mike visits him every day. One day Mike says, "Joe, we both loved football all our lives, and we played football on Saturdays together for so many years.

Please do me one favour, when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's football there.

Joe looks up at Mike from his death bed and says: "Mike, you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favour for you."

Shortly after that, Joe passes on.

At midnight a couple of nights later, Mike is awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to him, "Mike... Mike..."

"Who is it?" Asks Mike sitting up suddenly. "Who is it?"

"Mike. It's me, Joe..."

"You're not Joe. Joe just died."

"I'm telling you, it's me, Joe." insists the voice.

"Joe! Where are you?"

"In heaven", replies Joe. "I have some really good news and a little bad news."

"'Tell me the good news first," says Mike.

"The good news," Joe says, "is that there's football in heaven. Better yet, all of our old friends who died before us are here, too. Better than that, we're all young again. And best of all, we can play football all we want, and we never get tired."

"'That's fantastic," says Mike. "It's beyond my wildest dreams! So what could possibly be the bad news? "

"You're in the team for Saturday."