Worst Joke Ever 2024

[ballpoint]

What would have happened if it had been three Wise Women instead of three Wise Men?

Women would say:

They would have asked directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the baby, cleaned the stable, made a casserole, and brought practical gifts.

Here's Men's rebuttal.....

Yeah, and do you know what they would have said when they left?

"Did you see the sandals Mary was wearing with that gown?"

"That baby doesn't look anything like Joseph!"

"Can you believe they let all of those disgusting animals in the house?"

"I heard that Joseph isn't even working right now!"

"And that donkey that they are riding has seen better days too!"

"Want to bet on how long it will take until you get your casserole dish back?"

[ballpoint]

I went in to a pet shop and asked to buy a goldfish.

The guy said, "Do you want an aquarium?"

I said, "I don't care what star sign it is."

[VocalNeal]

^ Good name for a pet fish shop????

 

Land of Aquarium.

[ballpoint]

The teacher asks, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?'

Johnny shouts out 'Mas-tur-bate.'

Miss Rogers smiles embarrassedly and says, 'Wow, Johnny, that's a mouthful.'

Johnny replies, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a <deleted>.'

[ballpoint]

An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Montecassino went to the local church for confession. When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said, "Father ... During World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighborhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis. So I hid her in my attic."
The priest replied, "That was a wonderful thing you did, my son! And you have no need to confess that."
"There is more to tell, Father. She started to repay me with sexual favors. This happened several times a week, and sometimes twice on Sundays."
The priest said, "By doing that, you placed yourselves in great danger. However, two people under those circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the flesh. If you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven."
"Thank you, Father. That's a great load off my mind but I do have one more question."
"And what is that, my son?" asked the priest.
"Should I tell her the war is over?"

[ballpoint]

33 minutes ago, VocalNeal said:

^ Good name for a pet fish shop????

 

Land of Aquarium.

Did that just dawn on you?

[ozimoron]

2 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

Did that just dawn on you?

Showing your age a bit here. ????

[ballpoint]

21 minutes ago, ozimoron said:

Showing your age a bit here. ????

At least I've still got my hair.

[ozimoron]

8 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

At least I've still got my hair.

Too early in the morning for me. lol

Edited December 15, 2022 by ozimoron

[ballpoint]

19 minutes ago, ozimoron said:

Too early in the morning for me. lol

"Medley: Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In (The Flesh Failures)" (commonly called "Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In", "The Age of Aquarius" or "Let the Sunshine In") is a medley of two songs written for the 1967 musical Hair"

 

Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In - Wikipedia

[carlyai]

9 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

"Medley: Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In (The Flesh Failures)" (commonly called "Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In", "The Age of Aquarius" or "Let the Sunshine In") is a medley of two songs written for the 1967 musical Hair"

 

Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In - Wikipedia

I danced on the stage with them there hippied when at the live stage show. 

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[overherebc]

[jvs]

2 hours ago, roo860 said:

Crown jewels?

 

[billd766]

2 hours ago, overherebc said:

I can remember back in the UK winding all the Xmas lights onto cardboard in January and eventually unwinding and untangling them in December every year. Then hooking them up to make sure that they all work again. Going to the January sales to buy more every year.

 

I am so glad that I am living in Thailand and we don't HAVE to celebrate Xmas.

[VocalNeal]

2 hours ago, jvs said:

Crown jewels?

 

On the cusp of being a joke ????

[Crossy]

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[overherebc]

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Posted before I'm sure but ...