Worst Joke Ever 2024

[teacherclaire]

When a fireman came in your mouth, eat Papaya salad. 

[teacherclaire]

Anybody up for an orgasm? 

[teacherclaire]

Just suck it!

Edited October 10, 2020 by teacherclaire
I reckon "Screw the Fish."

[teacherclaire]

The CIA was here...........

[ExpatOK]

 

[teacherclaire]

Does it take long for you? 

[teacherclaire]

Open your mouth, son.......

[teacherclaire]

Mjisdtakhes. 

[teacherclaire]

Missionary's position can be boring. Get behind me then. 

[teacherclaire]

Watch suicide teens still has tickets. Be fast. 

[teacherclaire]

The foreigners dream job after a long quarantine. 

[fangless]

1 hour ago, VBF said:

What's the problem?

They're designed to have pricks in ????

 

45 minutes ago, jvs said:

Quote of the day!!!!!

Ok!  So I've been shafted again

(as the actress said to the bishop)!

[fangless]

On 10/9/2020 at 10:57 AM, ballpoint said:

They told me I'd never be good at poetry because I'm dyslexic, but I proved them wrong.

So far I've made 3 jugs and a vase.

Shouldn't that read 3 bugs and a case?

[fangless]

4 hours ago, sanuk711 said:

Which one?

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[bluesofa]

Just now, fangless said:

At least Van Gogh was better.

You could tell him something, it would go in one ear and stay there.

[fangless]

An art thief once stole some very expensive paintings from the Louvre in Paris. He took two Van Goghs, a couple Monets, a DeGas, and some other paintings.
Everything went perfectly, except he was captured sitting in his van with the paintings only 2 blocks from the museum, his van had run out of fuel!

When asked by the police how he could plan such a successful robbery and then be foiled by such a simple error, he replied...

 

"I had no Monet to buy DeGas to make the Van Gogh!"

[fangless]

Vincent Van Gogh had a really large family. Here's a listing of some of the lesser known relatives:

* The really obnoxious brother - Please Gogh
* The brother who ate prunes - Gotta Gogh
* His dizzy aunt - Verti Gogh
* An aunt who taught positive thinking - Wayto Gogh
* And his magician uncle - Wherediddy Gogh

 

 

See my post 9339 below for some more to go on!

Edited October 10, 2020 by fangless

[fangless]

I got a new pair of gloves today,

but they're both 'lefts' which,

on the one hand, is great,

but on the other,

it's just not right.

[fangless]

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer yesterday.

I don't know what he laced them with,

but I've been tripping all day.

[fangless]

Thieves had broken into my house yesterday.

They stole everything in the house except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant.

Dirty Bastards.

 

 

But at least I can wash my hands of them (before anyone else says it!)

[fangless]

The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve.

It was an Apple.

It only had limited memory. 

Just one byte.

And then everything crashed.

[fangless]

Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball!

[fangless]

Here are some more Gogh to go on;

 

His Obnoxious brother: Please Gogh.
His Convenience-Store-Owner cousin: Stop'n'Gogh
His Constipated uncle: Can't Gogh
The Ballroom dancer aunt: Tan Gogh
His Nephew psychoanalyst: E Gogh
His Fruit Loving cousin: Man Gogh
His sister who loves disco: Go Gogh
His bouncy little Nephew: Poe Gogh.

Edited October 10, 2020 by fangless

[WorriedNoodle]