Worst Joke Ever 2024

[sanuk711]

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[sanuk711]

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[sanuk711]

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[sanuk711]

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[sanuk711]

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[sanuk711]

[sanuk711]

[ravip]

[ravip]

A Irishman is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a Preacher baptizing people in the river.

He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the Preacher...

The Preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon he asks the drunk,

'Are you ready to find Jesus?'

The drunk shouts, ' Hicc..yes, I am.'

So the Preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water.

He pulls him up and asks the drunk, 'Brother have you found Jesus?'

The drunk replies, 'No, I haven't found Jesus.'

The Preacher shocked at the answer, dunks him Into the water again for a little longer.

He again pulls him out of the water and asks again, 'Have you found Jesus my brother?'

The drunk again answers, 'No, I haven't Found Jesus.'

By this time the Preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk in the water again ---

But this time holds him down for about 30 seconds and when he begins kicking his arms and legs so he pulls him up.

The Preacher again asks the drunk, 'For the love of God, have you found Jesus..!!?'

The drunk wipes his eyes, catches his breath, and says to the preacher, 'now tell me this, are you sure this is where he fell in' ?

[ravip]

A rural farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.

The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady.

He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialled the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned and the telephone began to ring.

Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire with a steel chain and collar.
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signalling current when the number was called.
4. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate.
5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.

Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pi55ing and moaning.

Edited February 10, 2021 by ravip

[ravip]

Lobster Tails
A man was driving through town with his windows down when he heard a man at a small roadside stand yelling, "Lobster tails! Get your lobster tails here only two dollars!"

The man hit his brakes and pulled over. He walked up to the salesman thinking this must be too good to be true.

"Are you really only charging two dollars for lobster tails?"

"Yessir! Whaddya looking for, a long one or a short one? Both only two bucks."

"How about the longest one you got!"

The man handed the salesman two 1 dollar bills. The salesman thanked him and instructed him to sit in a nearby chair as he knelt down under the counter. The man thought that was strange, but complied, happily awaiting his lobster tail.

After a minute, the salesman popped up from under the counter with a large book. He opened the book to the front page, cleared his throat, and began to read :

"Once upon a time, there was a lobster..."

[Hamus Yaigh]

[Hamus Yaigh]

[owl sees all]

https://brandnewtube.com/watch/a-brazilian-woman-enters-a-shop-without-a-mask-ah-i-have-a-idea_IxFjHtvbntWNLiV.html

[jvs]

6 minutes ago, owl sees all said:

https://brandnewtube.com/watch/a-brazilian-woman-enters-a-shop-without-a-mask-ah-i-have-a-idea_IxFjHtvbntWNLiV.html

I wonder if it is a real Brazilian!

[Peter Denis]

9 minutes ago, owl sees all said:

https://brandnewtube.com/watch/a-brazilian-woman-enters-a-shop-without-a-mask-ah-i-have-a-idea_IxFjHtvbntWNLiV.html

Yes, that's the way to deal with this demented mask-craze!

[Andrew Dwyer]

Yup, this is the place for this topic !!

[bluesofa]

[jvs]

Sometimes people ask me if i am a glass half full or glass half empty kind of guy.

Not easy to answer,it all depends whats in the glass!

[owl sees all]

11 minutes ago, bluesofa said:

50% off if you have the latest jab.

[ravip]

[Andrew Dwyer]

[sanuk711]

[WorriedNoodle]

[Tarteso]

Today is my birthday.. Grandmother in love cut the cake and gave me my portion. BTW... She don’t talk English.

[sanuk711]

[sanuk711]

[chickenslegs]

[chickenslegs]

5 hours ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

Apropos number 6. The Catholic church declared that beavers are fish.

Therefore, Catholics are permitted to eat beaver on Fridays during lent.

https://thefisheriesblog.com/2017/03/01/beavers-are-fish-during-lent/

[Hamus Yaigh]