Worst Joke Ever 2024

[sanuk711]

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[ravip]

When the table turns...

[Hamus Yaigh]

[ballpoint]

My parrot broke its leg today, so I made it a splint using a matchstick.
You should have seen its little face light up when it tried to walk.

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

Two cannibals sat eating Michael McIntyre,
One said, "Does this taste funny to you?"
The other replied, "No, not in the slightest"

[ballpoint]

My mate from Liverpool phoned me and said his wife was making him sleep on the sofa tonight...
I feel sorry for the guy. It must be cold in the front garden.

[ballpoint]

I met a dyslexic Yorkshire man the other day.

He was wearing a cat flap.

[ballpoint]

A bloke's wife goes missing while diving off the West Australian Coast.
He reports the event, searches fruitlessly and spends a terrible night wondering what could have happened to her.
Next morning there's a knock at the door and he is confronted by a couple of police officers, the old Sarge and a younger Constable.
The Sarge says, “Mate, we have some news for you, unfortunately some really bad news, but, some good news, and maybe some more good news.”
“Well,” says the bloke, “I guess I'd better have the bad news first.”
The Sarge says, “I'm really sorry mate, but your wife is dead. Young Bill here found her lying at about five fathoms in a little cleft in the reef. He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was dead.” The bloke is naturally distressed to hear of this and has a bit of a turn.
But after a few minutes he pulls himself together and asks what the good news is.
The Sarge says, “Well when we got your wife up there were quite a few really good sized lobsters and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so we've brought you your share.”
He hands the bloke a bag with a couple of nice lobsters and four or five crabs in it. “Geez thanks. They're bloody beauties. I guess it's an ill wind and all that .... so, what's the other possible good news?”
“Well,” the Sarge says, “If you fancy a quick trip, young Bill and I get off duty at around 11 o'clock and we're gonna shoot over there and pull her up again.”

[bluesofa]

2 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

Two cannibals sat eating Michael McIntyre,
One said, "Does this taste funny to you?"
The other replied, "No, not in the slightest"

The original version:

Two cannibals eating a clown.

One said, "Does this taste funny to you?"

[sanuk711]

[sanuk711]

Just like that, with a simple digital click.......

[sanuk711]

.

[sanuk711]

Click bait, how it began.............

[sanuk711]

[roo860]

[roo860]

[Pilotman]

4 hours ago, bluesofa said:

The original version:

Two cannibals eating a clown.

One said, "Does this taste funny to you?"

still not funny

[ravip]

[tifino]

No matter how bad...

 

 

 

[tifino]

 

 

when a bad joke is more like real life:

  

 

[sanuk711]

“Steve”.......”Yes Dave”.....Steve, what am I always telling you about the need to disable cookies on your phone

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[sanuk711]

[sanuk711]

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[sanuk711]

[sanuk711]

[sanuk711]

[ballpoint]

A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man running around and waving his arms wildly.
“Captain,” one passenger asks, “who is that man over there?”
“I have no idea,” the captain says, “but he goes nuts every year when we pass him.”

[ballpoint]

I went to Cash Converters today trying to raise some much needed cash as skint due to Covid....
They gave me £3200 and they never even took the gun....

[ballpoint]

In the lingerie shop today I asked the assistant “are these panties satin?”

"No", she replied, "they’re brand new".