scottiejohn Posted August 14, 2019 Share Posted August 14, 2019 (edited) 1 hour ago, Crossy said: I am not so died in the past as many here but are you sure that is not a Plagisorous? But then I do have some Withering doubts! Edited August 14, 2019 by scottiejohn 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post scottiejohn Posted August 14, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted August 14, 2019 56 minutes ago, Andrew Dwyer said: My mobile holder for the car broke , luckily I came up with an ingenious solution !! You can always find a sucker somewhere, can't you? 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Dwyer Posted August 14, 2019 Share Posted August 14, 2019 You can always find a sucker somewhere, can't you?There must be millions about because apparently there’s one born every minute !! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Andrew Dwyer Posted August 14, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted August 14, 2019 Doesn’t look good for Anne !! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Dwyer Posted August 14, 2019 Share Posted August 14, 2019 Oops, now the cats out of the bag !! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Dwyer Posted August 14, 2019 Share Posted August 14, 2019 Never really believed that they existed until i saw it on Facebook !! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Andrew Dwyer Posted August 14, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted August 14, 2019 Wrong answer !! 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted August 14, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted August 14, 2019 4 hours ago, Crossy said: That's a breath of fresh Eyre. 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Popular Post Andrew Dwyer Posted August 14, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted August 14, 2019 Too soon ? 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WorriedNoodle Posted August 15, 2019 Share Posted August 15, 2019 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Andrew Dwyer Posted August 15, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted August 15, 2019 Awkward !! 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Popular Post chickenslegs Posted August 15, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted August 15, 2019 It's a long read, so bear with me ... Far away in the tropical waters of the Coral Sea, two prawns were swimming around. One called Justin and the other called Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area. Finally one day Justin said to Christian, 'I'm fed up with being a prawn; I wish I was a shark, and then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten.' A large mysterious cod appeared and said, 'Your wish is granted' Lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark and horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate. Time passed and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin realized that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight. While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn. He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn. With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail. (The punch line does not involve a prawn cocktail - it's much worse)... Looking around the gathering at the reef he realized he couldn't see his old pal. 'Where's Christian?' he asked. 'He's at home, still distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy & became a shark', came the reply. Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian's abode. As he opened the coral gate, memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted, 'It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again.' Christian replied, 'No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy, and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner.' Justin cried back 'No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed.'............ wait for it............... "I'VE FOUND COD. I'M A PRAWN AGAIN CHRISTIAN!" 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fasteddie Posted August 15, 2019 Share Posted August 15, 2019 (edited) 3 hours ago, chickenslegs said: It's a long read, so bear with me ... Far away in the tropical waters of the Coral Sea, two prawns were swimming around. One called Justin and the other called Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area. Finally one day Justin said to Christian, 'I'm fed up with being a prawn; I wish I was a shark, and then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten.' A large mysterious cod appeared and said, 'Your wish is granted' Lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark and horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate. Time passed and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin realized that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight. While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn. He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn. With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail. (The punch line does not involve a prawn cocktail - it's much worse)... Looking around the gathering at the reef he realized he couldn't see his old pal. 'Where's Christian?' he asked. 'He's at home, still distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy & became a shark', came the reply. Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian's abode. As he opened the coral gate, memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted, 'It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again.' Christian replied, 'No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy, and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner.' Justin cried back 'No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed.'............ wait for it............... "I'VE FOUND COD. I'M A PRAWN AGAIN CHRISTIAN!" Edited August 15, 2019 by fasteddie 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Crossy Posted August 16, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted August 16, 2019 10 hours ago, chickenslegs said: "I'VE FOUND COD. I'M A PRAWN AGAIN CHRISTIAN!" Where's the "arghh!" emoticon? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 (edited) 54 minutes ago, Crossy said: Where's the "arghh!" emoticon? OR Edited August 16, 2019 by scottiejohn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Popular Post Andrew Dwyer Posted August 16, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted August 16, 2019 Just play the game <deleted> !! 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dexlowe Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 On August 5, 2019 at 6:39 PM, Andrew Dwyer said: Some of these ladies are downright deplorable !! The one on the right reminds me of that song which has the lyrics "nice legs, shame about the boat race". There's a suspicion of a decent body there. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dexlowe Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 On August 6, 2019 at 5:16 AM, faraday said: No thanks boys....gave up the fags a few weeks back. Maths must be the devil's handiwork. A few posts back we had a quartet with three members .... now we have .................. ???????????? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dexlowe Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 On August 6, 2019 at 2:33 PM, scottiejohn said: So why is he so ticked off. In just a minute we might get a second opinion. If so we can hand the whole thing over without losing face and getting so wound up. Time you retired, pal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dexlowe Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 On August 2, 2019 at 6:38 PM, ballpoint said: Because they're seafood? Because they're molluscs? Because they're bivalves? I give up. I never liked shell fish anyway. Shucks! They're just mean. Talk of money always makes them clam up. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 2 hours ago, Dexlowe said: Time you retired, pal. Is that so you can present me with my gold watch? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 (edited) 1 hour ago, Dexlowe said: Shucks! They're just mean. Talk of money always makes them clam up. You seem to be a real pearl! Edited August 16, 2019 by scottiejohn 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post scottiejohn Posted August 16, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted August 16, 2019 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 Two young women talking over the garden wall. "You know Julie, this is the last straw," said Carry. "I've had it up to here with men, they lie, cheat and are no damned good. From now on, if I want sex, I'll use a vibrator." "But what if the batteries run out, what will you do then?" she asked her friend. "Then I'll do what I did with Harry, I'll fake an orgasm." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 Try explaining this one to your kids! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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