Worst Joke Ever 2025

[Andrew Dwyer]

At least he’s honest !!

 

 

 

[Andrew Dwyer]

“ Beware !!

Sign eating trees “

 

 

 

[ballpoint]

3 minutes ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

Well I always say “ Nice “ !!

 

 

It's nice in Nice.  Or so the Stranglers tell me.

[ballpoint]

5 hours ago, scottiejohn said:

For the Raven/Crow pedants on this forum!

 

Caw!

[chickenslegs]

A dog walks into a bar, hops up on a stool and says, “Hey, look over here. I’m a talking dog. Bet you’ve never met a talking dog before. I was captain of the debate team when I was in college and now I teach rhetoric at the university. Say, bartender, how about a drink on the house for the talking dog?”

 

The bartender replies, “Sure. The toilet’s down the hall. Second door on your left.”

[chickenslegs]

7 hours ago, scottiejohn said:

[fasteddie]

oops

[fasteddie]

On 10/31/2019 at 4:22 PM, fasteddie said:

What no laughs? Don't tell me the Brits on here are ALL right wing ????

[scottiejohn]

13 hours ago, ballpoint said:

Caw!

No It's Scottish so it would be a Macaw!

[scottiejohn]

13 hours ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

Well I always say “ Nice “ !!

 

 

Just remember it is always nice to be nice to the nice people of Nice!

[scottiejohn]

13 hours ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

“ Beware !!

Sign eating trees “

It is just a sign of the times! 

It will soon grow on you unless I am barking up the wrong tree!

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[billd766]

12 hours ago, fasteddie said:

What no laughs? Don't tell me the Brits on here are ALL right wing ????

I have been trying to find out the dogs name and where it lives so that it can stand for election.

 

It certainly looks smarter and more intelligent than the two anus's in the photo.

[chickenslegs]

[ballpoint]

3 hours ago, scottiejohn said:

No It's Scottish so it would be a Macaw!

Hoots Jimmy, it be owls you're thinking of.  Surely if it was Scottish it would be wearing the raven tartan?  (It does indeed exist, and thistle prove it!)  If ye still doubt it then I'll be turning the cawd shoulder to ye, so don't go crowing fowl play like a dark rook.

 

[ballpoint]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[scottiejohn]

On 11/7/2019 at 1:13 PM, ballpoint said:

Hoots Jimmy, it be owls you're thinking of.  Surely if it was Scottish it would be wearing the raven tartan?  (It does indeed exist, and thistle prove it!)  If ye still doubt it then I'll be turning the cawd shoulder to ye, so don't go crowing fowl play like a dark rook.

Me thinks that you be the one who is 'Raven Mad' and running around like a headless chicken when you start claiming a piece of cloth hanging from a sky hook and daubed with paint using a tartan paint brush in 1995 could possibley be described to a Scotsman as a proper tartan!

 

Get back south over Hadrian's wall you Sasanach scoundrel and stay there you 
“Wee, sleekit, cow’rin, tim’rous beastie,
O, what a panic’s in thy breastie!
Thou need na start awa sae hasty,
Wi’ bickering brattle!
I wad be laith to rin an’ chase thee"

You have been warned!

????  
 

[scottiejohn]

[scottiejohn]

My old fairy tale!

 

I met a magical fairy who said she would grant me one wish which she had to provide, no matter what it was provided it was possible.
So I said "I wish to live forever," 
"Sorry," said the fairy, "Even I'm not allowed to grant that particular wish."
"Fine," I said, "then I want to die the day after all Parliaments are filled with honest, hard-working, men and women who act only in the people's best interests!"

"You crafty b*stard," replied the fairy to me almost 350 odd years ago.

PS;  I think I might still be around in another 350 years time!

[scottiejohn]

Is this where the phrase "a straw dog" came from?

[scottiejohn]

Moth eaten brain?

 

Back in the woods, a redneck's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. 
Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, "Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing." 
Soon a baby boy was brought into the world. "
Whoa there," said the doctor. "Don't be in a rush to put the lantern down I think there's yet another one to come." 
Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl. 
"No, no, don't be in a great hurry to be putting down that there lantern yet. It seems there's another one in there!" cried the doctor. 
The redneck scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, 

 

"Do you think it's the light that's attractin' 'em? 
 

[scottiejohn]