Worst Joke Ever 2025

[ballpoint]

18 minutes ago, fangless said:

I didn't know that No10 qualified as a brewery!

Well, it's the source of most of the UKs ails.

 

(Though, to be fair, it is rather more of a cocktail cabinet).

 

 

 

[ballpoint]

My Grandparents are a rather conservative couple.  One time my girlfriend and I went to stay with them and they demanded I share a bed with my grandfather and my girlfriend would share a bed with my grandmother.

In the middle of the night my grandad shook me awake and I asked "what's wrong?"

He said to me "I'm going down to service your grandmother and I'll send your girlfriend up.  I've got an erection and that hasn't happened in 10 years".

I told him, "you'd better take me with you then, 'cause that's my erection you're holding!"

[overherebc]

[wpcoe]

[VBF]

1 hour ago, ballpoint said:

Are you speaking with conviction?

Well it's not really a complete sentence, is it?

[fangless]

1 hour ago, ballpoint said:

Well, it's the source of most of the UKs ails.

 

(Though, to be fair, it is rather more of a cocktail cabinet).

 

 

 

With a total lack of Spirit(s) that don't mix or blend well!

 

 

 

 

 

 

[fangless]

1 hour ago, ballpoint said:

Are you speaking with conviction?

No just trying to get an arresting sentence together!

[fangless]

29 minutes ago, wpcoe said:

Do you have to either sweeten them up first or just give them the needle!

 

(Sorry to any diabetics reading this!)

[fangless]

1 hour ago, ballpoint said:

My Grandparents are a rather conservative couple.  One time my girlfriend and I went to stay with them and they demanded I share a bed with my grandfather and my girlfriend would share a bed with my grandmother.

In the middle of the night my grandad shook me awake and I asked "what's wrong?"

He said to me "I'm going down to service your grandmother and I'll send your girlfriend up.  I've got an erection and that hasn't happened in 10 years".

I told him, "you'd better take me with you then, 'cause that's my erection you're holding!"

Was this before or after you had half your "brain" removed?

 

(for those not following our banter-tough luck!!)

 

 

 

 

 

[fangless]

40 minutes ago, VBF said:

Well it's not really a complete sentence, is it?

Oh dear the Grammar Police seem to be about to get us for a hanging sentence or two!

????

[ballpoint]

37 minutes ago, fangless said:

Was this before or after you had half your "brain" removed?

 

(for those not following our banter-tough luck!!)

 

 

 

 

 

I'm having trouble following it, and I'm one of the banterers.  Or is that bantams?  Now I can't remeber why I crossed the road.

[fangless]

3 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

I'm having trouble following it, and I'm one of the banterers.  Or is that bantams?  Now I can't remeber why I crossed the road.

A typical lightweight chicken response!  Time to start boxing clever!

[fangless]

[fangless]

[fangless]

[ballpoint]

1 hour ago, fangless said:

A typical lightweight chicken response!  Time to start boxing clever!

Don't be so fowl.

[ballpoint]

I just had my first acupuncture session and came home to find my wife in tears. 

I asked her what happened and she said "My voodoo doll just died".

[fangless]

1 hour ago, ballpoint said:

I just had my first acupuncture session and came home to find my wife in tears. 

I asked her what happened and she said "My voodoo doll just died".

Did you both get the point or just get the needle with each other?

Either way who do you think came out as the biggest   <deleted>?

For  <deleted> read pr!ck!!!!

 

PS;  It would appear the the censorship software won't let me type that I have pricked my thumb on the rose pricks but but I can stick myself with a very sharp object,  I wonder which Dick wrote the software!

PPS;  It appears that a lot of little pricks are allowed but not a single one! I just don't get the point!!

[chickenslegs]

39 minutes ago, fangless said:

It appears that a lot of little pricks are allowed but not a single one!

And yet a single ball is allowed but <deleted> is not.

 

<deleted> = b0110cks

[fangless]

10 minutes ago, chickenslegs said:

And yet a single ball is allowed but <deleted> is not.

 

<deleted> = b0110cks

The balls and testicles are somewhere in the censorship software where the sun does not shine!

[roo860]

[roo860]

[VBF]

10 hours ago, fangless said:

Oh dear the Grammar Police seem to be about to get us for a hanging sentence or two!

????

Now....is this somebody missing the double meaning of the word "sentence". Or are we for the drop?

 

(Remember what thread we're on - I'm getting confused ????)

[roo860]

[roo860]

[Crossy]

[Crossy]

[ballpoint]

13 hours ago, fangless said:

Did you both get the point or just get the needle with each other?

Either way who do you think came out as the biggest   <deleted>?

For  <deleted> read pr!ck!!!!

 

PS;  It would appear the the censorship software won't let me type that I have pricked my thumb on the rose pricks but but I can stick myself with a very sharp object,  I wonder which Dick wrote the software!

PPS;  It appears that a lot of little pricks are allowed but not a single one! I just don't get the point!!

It makes sense.  It's okay to ban one pr1ck every now and then, but if they banned all the little pricks this place would get rather quiet.

[ballpoint]

A man walks into a book shop, as asks the cashier "Do you have any cookery books with advice on using Oxo?"
"No" replied the cashier, "We're out of stock."

[ballpoint]

9 months before I was born I went to a party with my dad....

and left with my mum.