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Worst Joke Ever 2026

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2 hours ago, WorriedNoodle said:
6 hours ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

I give up 

The clue is there is no question mark.

It's a play on words and not a riddle.
Just a true statement.  :  "What"  contains 4 letters......."sometimes" contains 9 letters ....."never" contains 5 letters  .    

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One for the groaners:

image.png.ce8740784ee4f82f2df1264ef571ac81.png

 

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I thought all my flowers had died but they suddenly started blooming again, I wasn’t sure what type of flower they were but I now think they are reincarnations.

Birthdays are good for your health. Studies show that people who have more birthdays live longer.

Important question: Will my continental quilt still work when we leave the EU?

We used to have a teacher called Miss Turtle at school. Strange looking woman, but she tortoise well.

The police kicked my door in at dawn yesterday. The senior copper grabbed me and shouted, "I'm arresting you for illegally downloading the whole of Wikipedia". "Wait," I said, "I can explain everything".

My wife has been going on about getting a dog, so I got her a Pug. Despite the flat face, bulging eyes, rolls of fat and tongue sticking out the dog still loves her.

I was sitting at home the other day when there was a loud knocking at my front door. I opened it to see one of my neighbours stood there with a very angry look about him. He said “I’ve just found your son and my daughter playing “Doctors and Nurses!”

I said “how old is your daughter” to which he replied “eight”; I said “my son’s eight too, it’s no big deal. They’re just normal kids doing normal stuff”

He replied “Normal stuff? Normal stuff? HE’S JUST TAKEN OUT HER <deleted> APPENDIX!”

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I’m a real sensitive type of guy !

The first time I had sex with my current girlfriend I started to cry !!

 

I don’t know if it was the physical exertion, the high level of emotion or the pepper spray........... 

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I have a new girlfriend.  She's German.

But as my german isn't really good, we talk english with each other.

We also give each other scores when we have sex.

Most of the time she shouts Seven or Eight.

But yesterday when I took her anally, she screamed Nine, Nine, Nine.

The highest score I ever got.

I am so proud of myself...

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