The pitfalls of staying at home !!

 

Some Oldies from China..

 

Some more oldies

 

 

 

Latest lockdown aid

Sad news at the Nestle factory today when a member of staff was seriously injured when a pallet of white chocolate fell more than 50 feet and crushed him underneath. He tried in vain to attract attention but every time he shouted "The milky bars are on me" everyone cheered.

A beginner's guide to chromosomes:
XY : Male
XX : Female
YYY : Delilah

Mickey and Minnie Mouse were at the marriage guidance centre.

" So Mickey, what's this I hear that you want to divorce Minnie because of her wonky teeth?" the counselor asks."

"Nothing to do with her teeth," Mickey replied ....... "She's <deleted> Goofy."

????

 

Ok, I'll get my coat.

A man just settled into his window seat on the plane, when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador retriever in the middle seat between them.

The first man looked very quizzically at the dog and asked the man why the dog was allowed on the plane.

The second man explained that he was from the Drug Enforcement Agency and that the dog was a sniffing dog.

"His name is Sniffer and he's the best there is.  I'll show you once we get airborne - I'll put him to work."

The plane took off, and once it had leveled out, the agent said, "Watch this."

He told Sniffer to 'search’.

Sniffer jumped down, walked along the aisle, and finally sat very purposefully next to and looking at passengers in a row of seats. Sniffer then returned to his seat and put one paw on the agent's arm.

The agent said, "Good boy.", and he turned to the man and said, "someone in that row is in possession of marijuana.  I'm making a note of the seats number and the authorities will check them when they land."

"Gee, that's pretty good", replied the first man.

"Wait - he can do more" said the agent and he sent Sniffer to search again.

Sniffer walked around the plane some more and then sat down again and looked at some people in a row of seats. The dog then returned to his seat again and this time he placed two paws on the agent's arm.

The agent said, "Someone in that row has cocaine, so I'm making a note of those seat numbers too."

The agent then again told Sniffer to 'search'.

Sniffer walked up and down the aisles for a little while, sat down for a moment, and then came racing back to the agent, jumped into the middle seat, and peed on the seat.

The first man was angry and shouted at the agent "What the **** was that all about???"
The agent nervously replied, "I think he's just found a bomb".

 weekend at...