18 hours ago, chickenslegs said:

 

Help!  My OCD's kicking in!! 😮😲

There'll be quite a rush from members of this forum to take advantage of the UK's new free passport ruling.

Why don't midgets shop at Aldi?

Because they're Lidl people.

NASA sent a team of astronauts to the hottest part of the desert in Arizona to train for their forthcoming 30 month voyage to Mars. One day they come across a couple of American Indians. The father, who only spoke Nojavo, asked his son what they were up to .
"My father wants to know what you're doing here," the son says.
"We are training for the first manned trip to Mars," said the air force colonel.
The son told his father what they were up to, and they had a long conversation, after which the son said to the colonel, "He say he believe that there is life on Mars, and he speak to Martian people in his dreams - their language very like his. He also ask if you will take a message to the Martians for him?"
"Well...sure," says the colonel, "What's the message?"
The son asks the father to write down the message. He does, in Najavo, and hands the message to him.
The son bursts out laughing. "What does it say?" the colonel asked.
"I'm not telling you," the son said. "You figure it out."
The colonel leaves for his base with the message thinking that, if there is any chance, any chance at all, that the Martian language is like Najavo, then he must find out more, and what the message says.

He takes it to the FBI, NSA, CIA, and all the major universities - no-one can decipher it. Eventually he tracks down the last remaining windtalker from WW2 and, without telling him why, he asks him to translate.
The old man looked at it and said, "It says: Watch out for these white *******, they're here to steal your land."

I recently went to a countryside show and this farmer was shouting 'Lambs, were £20 , now £10.

I thought that was sheep at half the price.

 

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