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Worst Joke Ever 2026

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John, a Sydney University student, was on the side of the road hitch hiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a storm. 

 

The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. 

 

Suddenly he saw a car slowly coming towards him and stopped. John, desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got in the car and closed the door, just to realize there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn’t on!

 

The car started moving slowly. John looked at the road and saw a curve approaching. Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life. Then, just before he hit the curve, a hand appeared through the window and turned the wheel. 

 

John, paralyzed with terror, watched how the hand appeared every time they came to a curve.

 

John saw the lights of a pub down the road so, gathering strength, jumped out of the car and ran to it. Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and asked for two shots of tequila. 

He then started telling everybody about the horrible experience he went through. A silence enveloped everybody when they realized he was crying and…. wasn’t drunk.

 

About 15 minutes later, two guys walked into the same pub. They were also wet and out of breath.

 

Looking around and seeing John sobbing at the bar, one said to the other, “Look, Bruce.. there’s the bstrd that got in the car while we were pushing it.

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“I’m not worried about the Third World War.

That’s the Third World’s problem.”
 

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The reason old men use Viagra is not that they are impotent.

It’s that old women are so very ugly.

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“I said to my now ex girlfriend, you shouldn’t eat before you swim.

She said, ‘why not?’

I said, ‘you look fat enough already.'”

 

I'm on the road to recovery now!
 

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“I told a joke during a recent visit to a fertility clinic.

I got a standing ovulation.”
 

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Did you hear about the Irish couple who adopted a baby from Spain? 
They signed up for evening classes in Spanish so that they would be able to understand the baby when it started talking.
 

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3 hours ago, fangless said:

My wife would just cook mine if I tried something like that!

Even if you just took a little gander?

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There's no excuse for laziness.
But if you find one, let me know....

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I’ve got a nagging feeling

we’ve made a mistake here......

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