Getting married to Thai wife in a month: Need help to know if she is cheating. :(

[chicowoodduck]

Not to burst your bubble, but just ask her?   If her mouth is closed you have caught her in a lie....if her mouth is open refer to the mouth closed comment....????????

[mikehongpark]

16 hours ago, samsensam said:

 

i have dated a lot of women back home and here - and in other countries, i've never felt the need to spy or check up on any of them.

 

surely common sense suggests that if you feel the need to check up on your partner the relationship is not in a good place - unless checking up on people in your life is normal behaviour for you?!

Well, when your wedding reception is set for next month and you find that your fiance is acting suspicious on her vacation to Moscow, I think that I have a right to login to her facebook account (she saved password on my laptop) to find out the truth. $100k gone and wedding deposits gone. It's a good thing that I found out now as we were planning to have kids this year.

[mikehongpark]

1 hour ago, sead said:

So i offered my and my gf 10min of ours life.

Your gf seems to have problem with misspelling and thats why you probably cant translate it properly. Theres so much i love you and love you back that there is no hesitation this is a boyfriend or lover. She even asked him if he want to fininsh with her and him saying no. This guy has been in your bed with your gf, And even sleept, woken up while i guess she was at work and told her he is now in shower. Alot of messages stating , Im coming now, Im at your house now. Im waiting etc etc. She tells him she goes away a week and he asks where, but she dont want to tell him. Guess he doesnt know about you. She asks why he doesnt tell mom about something. He says he didnt tell.

So clearly you got one bad batch and need to look for something else. PLease just forget her and dont try to save this because it isnt possible in Thailand. Good Luck

Thank you. He knows about me and I even greeted him when I was on a video call with my wife 6 months ago. I plan to move on. Gonna be hard to break the news to the 30+ guests that have confirmed booking to Thailand next month. 

[balo]

Just cut all communication with her so she do not get a chance to show you her tears . Remember you are very rich compared to her and money is all that matters for her and her family.

Gold , wealth , status, you are all she needs to get all that. Cut all ties now.     

Edited January 4, 2019 by balo

[freestyle1]

What i learned from my experience with thai girls, but applies to any girl really:

- Always trust your gut feeling. Don't keep looking endlessly for more confirmations. It will eat you up, and the end result is what your gut feeling told you all along.

- Never ignore warning signs. Cutting off immediately when you see warning signs (even on first dates), saves you A LOT of time and energy.

- Don't accept any shit from a girl, ever , from the start on. If you do, it will get worse quickly.

Cut off any girl that disrespects you immediately.

- Never spoil her. It might seem sweet, but it starts to rotten her and your relationship instantly.

- If she has a lot of requirements to be happy, drop her like a rock. She should be happy for just being around you.

- When you are in love, you are scamming yourself. You are just in love with an image that you created in your own head. It's a false image that leaves out all warning signs and her dark side (it is there, everyone has it)

It gets even worse: women that see you are in love with them, are tempted to abuse it, why ,because it is as easy as taking money lying on the street. If you say you love her and/or act dependant, you are practically inviting her to abuse you.

- guys fall in love mostly because of how smokin hot she looks.(no lust, no love) But remember, it's a trap, beauty fades .... FAST!

- relationships have an EXPIRACY DATE (things change, people change). Once you realize this, it will be a lot easier to move on when things start to go bad.

Take care of youself, work out, sleep well, eat well, always make sure that you are confident in life, have your mind together, have a goal (other then women)

Never become emotionally dependant on someone, never drown yourself in a relationship.
- Don't keep going back to her because of some pictures where you looked happy together, it's another trap.
- Never marry.

 

This should be printed out and put in every guy's wallet as a reminder.

Edited January 4, 2019 by freestyle1

[Puchaiyank]

9 minutes ago, freestyle1 said:

What i learned from my experience with thai girls, but applies to any girl really:

- Always trust your gut feeling. Don't keep looking endlessly for more confirmations. It will eat you up, and the end result is what your gut feeling told you all along.

- Never ignore warning signs. Cutting off immediately when you see warning signs (even on first dates), saves you A LOT of time and energy.

- Don't accept any shit from a girl, ever , from the start on. If you do, it will get worse quickly.

Cut off any girl that disrespects you immediately.

- Never spoil her. It might seem sweet, but it starts to rotten her and your relationship instantly.

- If she has a lot of requirements to be happy, drop her like a rock. She should be happy for just being around you.

- When you are in love, you are scamming yourself. You are just in love with an image that you created in your own head. It's a false image that leaves out all warning signs and her dark side (it is there, everyone has it)

It gets even worse: women that see you are in love with them, are tempted to abuse it, why ,because it is as easy as taking money lying on the street. If you say you love her and/or act dependant, you are practically inviting her to abuse you.

- guys fall in love mostly because of how smokin hot she looks.(no lust, no love) But remember, it's a trap, beauty fades .... FAST!

- relationships have an EXPIRACY DATE (things change, people change). Once you realize this, it will be a lot easier to move on when things start to go bad.

Take care of youself, work out, sleep well, eat well, always make sure that you are confident in life, have your mind together, have a goal (other then women)

Never become emotionally dependant on someone, never drown yourself in a relationship.
- Don't keep going back to her because of some pictures where you looked happy together, it's another trap.
- Never marry.

 

So, this was fun writing, should be printed out and put in every guy's wallet as a reminder.

Sound advise, well taken.  There is something to be said for giving love and companionship a try.  Keeping a girl at arm's length to protect yourself from some imagined hurt to come is a sure recipe for ending the relationship. 

If you are happy and she is happy,  why not enjoy the ride being prepared if the train should derail one day? 

[Ahab]

19 hours ago, mikehongpark said:

Thanks for the advice. That is what I am planning. But I think that her parents need to know the reason why as well as I have developed quite a good relationship with her parents. 

 

The parents very likely already know what is going on.

[stancatts]

I am pretty sure it looks like two lovers chatting. Get a professional translation. Sorry. Leave her as soon as you have the translation - on no account marry her before you have the translation. You are so lucky you discovered this, but the fact you were checking her phone clearly indicates you did not need this evidence to have your suspicions. Thai women are child-like - its a major part of their charm but it also represents a serious risk to having a long-term relationship with them. 

[Skallywag]

16 minutes ago, freestyle1 said:

What i learned from my experience with thai girls, but applies to any girl really:

- Never marry.

 

This should be printed out and put in every guy's wallet as a reminder.

Will do sir.... thank you.  I think in Thailand - these relationships are really a large part of the economy for many families as has been alluded to many times in posts here.  Farangs support many women who use that money to support their families.  By not marrying you are actually helping out so many more women with your money, so "never marry"  is a much more humanitarian path for farangs in thailand.  The OP spends $100K before marriage on one woman is mind boggling to me.  I wish the OP the best as he may be young and in love - yet needs to open his eyes 

[GalaxyMan]

This is pathetic. Just needing to ask the question is an answer in and of itself. I don't care what country it is, if you're having these kinds of thoughts/doubts now, you're asking for trouble later. There are plenty fish in the sea; go fishing.

[anon537687643]

How old are you ?
 
'even having children and not being married is no problem' ???
 
What country IS that a problem then unless you are talking Ireland about 100 years ago when a nun would deliver your baby and flush it down the toilet to avoid the shame.
 
For comparison there are 1,800,000 of those appalling people in the UK. Filthy disgusting unmarried mothers eh ?

yes! Don’t expect the state and tax payers to take care of the offspring of irresponsible boys and girls !


Sent from my iPhone using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[BritManToo]

10 hours ago, Benroon said:

the 'victims' on here seem to base their figures on the ratio of 60+ somethings hooking up with bar girls and applying that to the nation.

My Thai pal is 60, just retired from schoolteaching, his girlfriend was 23.

[phetpeter]

I looked at the message, and it seems to idle messenger chat because she bored. If you have been together 4 years, and now just having doubts. then it is you who is insecure. If you are a pensioner and she isn't the worlds best looker. No harm being done. If she lives with you and takes care of you. then roll with it! Been with mine 20 yrs she has her circle and doesn't go out drinking. But, always takes care of me. So take the chance, You are on the countdown clock already. One thing stop spying on her you are just turning into a sad F, Meet some friends once or twice a week, in a nice viewing bar, continue to look at all the other sexy gals as they walk past. and make certain she has clean clothes for you wear each day, and if not working, go on road trips and weekdays away together.

Edited January 5, 2019 by phetpeter

[cyril sneer]

got thai girlfriend to read it...

 

together roughly 6 months

holiday together, checking out a hotel mentioned

sleeping together, in a relationship 100%, 'love' mentioned 

both speak like young people 20-35 years old

general consensous is she cares more about him than he does about her, and he wants her for the money

 

Edited January 5, 2019 by cyril sneer

[OneMoreFarang]

20 hours ago, cyril sneer said:

20 hours ago, sanemax said:

You have her FB log in details .

this is handy if you want some revenge op

 

post screenshots of the conversation on her timeline

change her marital status to single

change her profile photo to a buffalo

And change the password of her account so she can't access it anymore.

[OneMoreFarang]

20 hours ago, MrPatrickThai said:

21 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

More than $2k per month? That must be true love.

Maybe spent another $1k on tequilas for the girls and enjoy life for a day or two. Then you won't miss her anymore and I am sure another one will love you too much.

I missed the part where he said he was a monger.

Monger or not, lots of pretty girls around you who love you too much helps to forget another one.

[BritManToo]

42 minutes ago, phetpeter said:

Been with mine 20 yrs she has her circle and doesn't go out drinking. But, always takes care of me.

Nothing wrong or abnormal with wanting a replacement mom, it's just some of us are looking for lovers. 

[BritManToo]

4 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Monger or not, lots of pretty girls around you who love you too much helps to forget another one.

I agree, the quicker you get a new one in your bed, the less you think about the previous one.

It's not as if Thailand has any shortage of 'new ones'.

Edited January 5, 2019 by BritManToo

[freestyle1]

2 hours ago, Puchaiyank said:

Sound advise, well taken.  There is something to be said for giving love and companionship a try.  Keeping a girl at arm's length to protect yourself from some imagined hurt to come is a sure recipe for ending the relationship. 

If you are happy and she is happy,  why not enjoy the ride being prepared if the train should derail one day? 

 

Hurt and disappointment always comes, it gradually keeps piling up, that's part of relationships.

Denying that is exactly the problem:
We don't want to see the reality of it. We try to cover up disappointments and warning signs.
We keep lying to ourselves "all is fine", in a desperate attempt to lengthen "the happy phase".

We cling on "what was before", and project it in the now, while in reality the situation now is just a shadow of before.
The early happy phase is like a drug, that leaves us wanting more of it, but never gives the same high.

Then one day, when it's far too late,  you wake up being a total wreck, and you realize that you lost yourself to the drug called love. Then start of a miserable rehab.

Love and companionship: it sounds so nice.
But think about it: if it's so nice, then why does it destroy so many people?
The answer: because we refuse to let it go, and lie to ourselves that love is something that can be preserved.

Sure enjoy your moments/times of companionship, but don't attach to it.
 

 

 

 

Edited January 5, 2019 by freestyle1

[Puchaiyank]

26 minutes ago, freestyle1 said:

 

Hurt and disappointment always comes, it gradually keeps piling up, that's part of relationships.

Denying that is exactly the problem:
We don't want to see the reality of it. We try to cover up disappointments and warning signs.
We keep lying to ourselves "all is fine", in a desperate attempt to lengthen "the happy phase".

We cling on "what was before", and project it in the now, while in reality the situation now is just a shadow of before.
The early happy phase is like a drug, that leaves us wanting more of it, but never gives the same high.

Then one day, when it's far too late,  you wake up being a total wreck, and you realize that you lost yourself to the drug called love. Then start of a miserable rehab.

Love and companionship: it sounds so nice.
But think about it: if it's so nice, then why does it destroy so many people?
The answer: because we refuse to let it go, and lie to ourselves that love is something that can be preserved.

Sure enjoy your moments/times of companionship, but don't attach to it.
 

 

 

 

That is depressing and defeated way to enter a relationship.  Not all relationships end badly... 

[phetpeter]

What amazes me how men, decide they are the ones who can always state to kick her out and find another. Physical pleasure isn't just for a man. If you find to cannot have a partner and be physical with them 'as often as you used to' then its ok to get a bit elsewhere? So, why can't women do the same? If it doesn't affect the rest of the relationship. Why not, as long as it's kept as just a sideline. You think men are the only ones who do this? In the past, I only go for married/ partnered females. It was a physical thing on both our parts, fun and interesting. Has my wife done or doing the same? I wouldn't know nor after being in previous marriages where I screwed up with suspicions. I don't worry, it will happen or not, the same as I done ...... If she had a fling as others state, I also read from it she has stopped and the man thinks it is still on with a chance. If he wants to stop it just block him on her messenger, and you can follow her calls if she is the one starting the calls after he has gone silent, as his calls will not come back. and if she starts the calls, then he can bring it to her attention, as she would then need to make calls on her mobile to his telephone. if she /he has it. But, it doesn't need to be the end of his relationship with her. Just a line is drawn on her behaviour.

[Hummin]

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

Nothing wrong or abnormal with wanting a replacement mom, it's just some of us are looking for lovers. 

And some is looking for a daughter to take care of! 

[Baerboxer]

On 1/4/2019 at 7:41 AM, NCC1701A said:

Thais have the highest rate of marital infidelity in the world.  So she is just getting ready for her wedding.

 

Eject! Eject! Eject! Thousands of beautiful women in Thailand.

 

Do you have links to the research to back up your claims? Or just hyperbole?

 

Btw did you know luring someone into adultery and/or actively doing something to break up a marriage can land you in court here if the spouse of the person you bang pursues it legally? That's assuming you don't get beat to a pulp, stabbed, shot or thrown in a Klong first!

 

He ain't married yet but after 4 years in a relationship ought to know if she's trustworthy or not.

[Baerboxer]

1 hour ago, phetpeter said:

What amazes me how men, decide they are the ones who can always state to kick her out and find another. Physical pleasure isn't just for a man. If you find to cannot have a partner and be physical with them 'as often as you used to' then its ok to get a bit elsewhere? So, why can't women do the same? If it doesn't affect the rest of the relationship. Why not, as long as it's kept as just a sideline. You think men are the only ones who do this? In the past, I only go for married/ partnered females. It was a physical thing on both our parts, fun and interesting. Has my wife done or doing the same? I wouldn't know nor after being in previous marriages where I screwed up with suspicions. I don't worry, it will happen or not, the same as I done ...... If she had a fling as others state, I also read from it she has stopped and the man thinks it is still on with a chance. If he wants to stop it just block him on her messenger, and you can follow her calls if she is the one starting the calls after he has gone silent, as his calls will not come back. and if she starts the calls, then he can bring it to her attention, as she would then need to make calls on her mobile to his telephone. if she /he has it. But, it doesn't need to be the end of his relationship with her. Just a line is drawn on her behaviour.

 

Your lifestyle is your choice. Personally I hate liars, deceit and the idea of infidelity. Play around when single, with singles, all good. Marriage includes vows. If they mean nothing, or your're prepared to lie when it suits, why get married or stay married?

 

I'm sure you're aware of the dangers of adultery, or messing with someones partner or gf here? 

 

But each to there own. 

[bubba45]

Small bit of it translated by my wife, below.  Hopefully it's legible.

[NCC1701A]

6 minutes ago, Baerboxer said:

Do you have links to the research to back up your claims? Or just hyperbole?

just google "most adulterous countries".

 

Thailand is #1 at 56%.

 

Thais boom boom like rabbits. And that is why Thai women dislike Thai men so much.

 

It is a status symbol to have as many Giks as possible. 

[rhodie]

11 hours ago, sead said:

So i offered my and my gf 10min of ours life.

Your gf seems to have problem with misspelling and thats why you probably cant translate it properly. Theres so much i love you and love you back that there is no hesitation this is a boyfriend or lover. She even asked him if he want to fininsh with her and him saying no. This guy has been in your bed with your gf, And even sleept, woken up while i guess she was at work and told her he is now in shower. Alot of messages stating , Im coming now, Im at your house now. Im waiting etc etc. She tells him she goes away a week and he asks where, but she dont want to tell him. Guess he doesnt know about you. She asks why he doesnt tell mom about something. He says he didnt tell.

So clearly you got one bad batch and need to look for something else. PLease just forget her and dont try to save this because it isnt possible in Thailand. Good Luck

Agree with this @mikehongpark. Did not tell my GF any context, but just asked if this chat was between friends or lovers and according to her, lovers. Good luck mate. Better now than later.

[Tchooptip]

13 hours ago, Puwa said:

women use kraap when bantering with men (or talking to male children) in a playful, ironic way. that's how the language is actually used in the vernacular.

No offence Sir just allow me to give politely my opinion

Woman use Krap with "little" children to avoid them using Kaa themselves.  But "talking with male children"??

Many Tomgirls logically use Krap.

I show the conversation to my wife she told me are you sure it's not a ladyboy?  

When bantering with men?

One could not say "no" for anything, because even if very unusual everything could happen...but 

And if bantering never used one time "Ja" most usual with women bantering with friends. 

So for me, as it is presented, it's not clear at all...

...to me, but my Thai is not fluent even if I can read it, but for my Thai wife too, it is not as easily understandable as for some members, even though they do not speak a word of the language, funny isn't it 

[Hummin]

2 hours ago, Baerboxer said:

 

Do you have links to the research to back up your claims? Or just hyperbole?

 

Thai women 59% average between the sexes 56

 

Durex survey

http://www.nationmultimedia.com/national/Thai-infidelity-claim-brings-strong-denials-30189315.html

 

[BritManToo]

4 hours ago, Baerboxer said:

Do you have links to the research to back up your claims? Or just hyperbole?

https://asiancorrespondent.com/2015/02/thailand-ranked-most-adulterous-country-in-the-world/