How to fail miserably in Thailand

[soalbundy]

14 hours ago, marcusarelus said:

It's what a gentleman does.  You don't wai service people and most of the time only return wai's except if the person is older than you or more important than you.  I wai my doctor who saved my live by prompt action.  You should wai monks be they older or younger.  Of course this thread is about how to fail miserably in Thailand and if you want to do that you don't wai anyone.  You will be rewarded with failure and dislike. 

I have lived here 14 years and know the different levels of wai and at what height the hands should go and to whom they should be given. Having said that I found it amusing that when a German friend with his Thai wife visited me (they  live in Germany since 20 years) and introduced me to their 19 year old daughter we automatically gave each other a wai before bursting out with laughter, she can only speak German and knows nothing of Thai culture.

[kannot]

20 hours ago, marcusarelus said:

I'm sure there are many who would like to contribute so I'll stop now. 

 

ignore  all  of  the  above and  dont  kow tow to them

[CharlieH]

flame posts/response removed

[Vacuum]

Open a bar in Thailand and think it's a great idea.

[1FinickyOne]

not sure if others mentioned it:

 

It is not good to walk around angry - - Thai sense your anger and want nothing to do with it

 

Smile... Thai love a nice smile - smile first and often and use it to diffuse a problem...

 

Being non-confrontational is prized. 

[marcusarelus]

edit

Edited January 27, 2019 by marcusarelus

[marcusarelus]

9 minutes ago, kannot said:

ignore  all  of  the  above and  dont  kow tow to them

A good example of Western xenophobia.  Or would ethnocentrism be a better choice of words?

 

In any event it is a prime example of how to fail in Thailand. 

[PerkinsCuthbert]

15 hours ago, marcusarelus said:

It's what a gentleman does.  You don't wai service people and most of the time only return wai's except if the person is older than you or more important than you.  I wai my doctor who saved my live by prompt action.  You should wai monks be they older or younger.  Of course this thread is about how to fail miserably in Thailand and if you want to do that you don't wai anyone.  You will be rewarded with failure and dislike. 

What nonsense; my thirty-third year here and I stopped wai-ing Thais in my first few months. It is neither demanded nor expected of a foreigner. and a simple show of gratitude - verbally, by gesture or facial expression -  is appreciated just as much. As for any correlation between wai-ing and success - is that the rule on planet Zog? 

[NCC1701A]

1 hour ago, spidermike007 said:

2. Thailand is not a foreign country. It is a distant planet.

Funny as I say this all the time. As dorky as it sounds, there are so many analogies to a crew member from Star Trek who is lost with no phaser and no communicator on a pre-warp drive society planet while trying to uphold the prime directive and being in Thailand, that the list is endless.  

 

And Thailand is a perfect example of what would happen to a planet if the prime directive was broken.

 

"The Prime Directive applies particularly to civilizations which are below a certain threshold of technological, scientific and cultural development; preventing starship crews from using their superior technology to impose their own values or ideals on them.^[2] Since its introduction in the first season of the original Star Trek series, it has served as the plot focus of numerous episodes of the various Star Trek series."

 

As the right of each sentient species to live in accordance with its normal cultural evolution is considered sacred, no Starfleet personnel may interfere with the normal and healthy development of alien life and culture. Such interference includes introducing superior knowledge, strength, or technology to a world whose society is incapable of handling such advantages wisely. Starfleet personnel may not violate this Prime Directive, even to save their lives and/or their ship, unless they are acting to right an earlier violation or an accidental contamination of said culture. This directive takes precedence over any and all other considerations, and carries with it the highest moral obligation.

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prime_Directive

 

examples of interference include Pickup trucks, iPhones, Facebook, fast food, 7/11, cameras, guns, audio amplifiers, beer, tequila and American country and western music. 

 

the reason of course is that Gene Roddenberry used other planets to represent the Vietnam war while Star Fleet was the West and the Klingons were the Russians and Chinese. This was the only way to get a anti war message on TV during the 60's.

 

When I meet a Thai woman who has been to the West, I think of her as having "Seen the ship", meaning she knows the truth now about the reality of planet Thailand .

 

 

Edited January 27, 2019 by NCC1701A

[1FinickyOne]

3 hours ago, marcusarelus said:

When I read the unhappy negative posters here on TV one thing many have in common is they don't wai or speak the language.  It says all sorts of things about your lack of cultural awareness.  I could give you 20 examples of how both could enhance your experience on lower Sukhumvit but what for?  "casting pearls."

I would guess also that there are financial problems as well... and many do not seem to even "get" what it means to be in a different culture.. it goes beyond eating spicy food and being able to say "same same." 

[crees]

I have lived in Thailand for long enough to join in with the "people" here, eat what they eat, sleep like they do, be a Monk at Wong Nong Wang, marry a Thai lady with her University Degree … all things I never had or could look forward to in Yuba City, California … and I could not be happier in life

[marcusarelus]

5 minutes ago, PerkinsCuthbert said:

What nonsense; my thirty-third year here and I stopped wai-ing Thais in my first few months. It is neither demanded nor expected of a foreigner. and a simple show of gratitude - verbally, by gesture or facial expression -  is appreciated just as much. As for any correlation between wai-ing and success - is that the rule on planet Zog? 

When my wife's family comes to visit they wai me because I'm the oldest and most respected member of the group.  I wai back because it is expected that with age comes wisdom.  I wai the doctor who saved my life because it is a constant reminder to me how much I like the guy and appreciate all the work he did and does to keep me going.  Not only does he have to think about my physical conditions but my cultural habits that have to change to keep me alive.  I wai monks because it is a Thai cultural tradition and I'd be seen as a goof if I didn't.  

 

I know a lot of Farangs who are seen as goofs and don't know it.  Well, maybe this thread will help those poor unfortunates.   

[anterian]

Much depends on location, I lived in an apartment just around the corner from Khaosan road for 2 years, I now for the last 13 years have lived in a house in a small suburban village community. Survival/coexistence skills are very different in these two locations. 

[SammyT]

20 hours ago, marcusarelus said:

Tell Thai men if they like ladyboys they are gay.

 

Found myself agreeing with every point you raised until I got to this one. 

 

For mine, if a "lady" has a "point that can be raised" downstairs, then to like that is a little bit gay, for mine.

 

To each their own though, I guess

[SammyT]

I think the biggest irony I see in expats in Thailand who often end up failing are the ones who are super racist about their own countries - i.e. the ones who share Tommy Robinson crap on their facebook pages, complain about immigrants coming to their countries etc, while ignoring the fact that they are effectively an immigrant in someone else's country. They generally then tend to treat the Thais like crap and as if they should be subservient to them (their wives and girlfriends included) and then they can't work out why their wife just left them and took the house they built and put in her name with her when she went. 

 

I don't know where I sit on the success/failure spectrum over here, but I just try to treat Thais as I'd wish to be treated myself and I don't see myself as better or worse than the average Thai. Save for a couple of taxi driver experiences, I've had zero issues and love my life in Thailand. It's certainly not rocket science anyway

[SammyT]

Actually - my one other tip, which I've noticed recently is don't become one of those ballbag Vloggers who desperately pay TVF for facebook advertising so they can get a few extra viewers to try and achieve fame. 

[marcusarelus]

9 minutes ago, SammyT said:

 

Found myself agreeing with every point you raised until I got to this one. 

 

For mine, if a "lady" has a "point that can be raised" downstairs, then to like that is a little bit gay, for mine.

 

To each their own though, I guess

I have a number of Thai ladyboy friends, educators, business owners and respected people in the Thai community.  They have led me to believe that it is common for a Thai male to be introduced to sex by a ladyboy and that has nothing to do with him being gay. 

[SammyT]

19 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

I have a number of Thai ladyboy friends, educators, business owners and respected people in the Thai community.  They have led me to believe that it is common for a Thai male to be introduced to sex by a ladyboy and that has nothing to do with him being gay. 

 

And that's cool if that's how it is viewed here. I'm merely saying that if you have sex with someone who has a penis, I think that's gay, no matter how nice their breasts and ass are...

[Rc2702]

22 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

I have a number of Thai ladyboy friends, educators, business owners and respected people in the Thai community.  They have led me to believe that it is common for a Thai male to be introduced to sex by a ladyboy and that has nothing to do with him being gay. 

I've never heard anything like this. So your saying it's common Thai males have sex with ladyboys as an initial introduction to sexual experience? 

[Respectthailand]

12 hours ago, sirineou said:

Let a smile be your umbrella, and don't take things personally. People have being living this way for hundreds of years, it is their country, their culture , it works for them.

Like them for who they are, and they will like you for who you are. 

If you don't like them  move on now!!. don't try to fake it , it will not work, eventually they will know.  Better to move on now than to fail later when you have less options.

 

Excellent post

[marcusarelus]

7 minutes ago, Rc2702 said:

I've never heard anything like this. So your saying it's common Thai males have sex with ladyboys as an initial introduction to sexual experience? 

Yes.

[Respectthailand]

30 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

I have a number of Thai ladyboy friends, educators, business owners and respected people in the Thai community.  They have led me to believe that it is common for a Thai male to be introduced to sex by a ladyboy and that has nothing to do with him being gay. 

I bet that number is <3.

[marcusarelus]

5 minutes ago, Respectthailand said:

I bet that number is <3.

A lot more.  6 in the family.  10 work related.  6 educators and it goes on.  Under 10% of the population.  Ask any teacher.  2 to 4 in every class at every grade level - more in upper grades.

Edited January 27, 2019 by marcusarelus

[Rc2702]

5 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

Yes.

Don't believe that for a second. 

[kannot]

1 hour ago, kenk24 said:

not sure if others mentioned it:

 

It is not good to walk around angry - - Thai sense your anger and want nothing to do with it

 

Smile... Thai love a nice smile - smile first and often and use it to diffuse a problem...

 

Being non-confrontational is prized. 

by some

[allanos]

54 minutes ago, SammyT said:

I think the biggest irony I see in expats in Thailand who often end up failing are the ones who are super racist about their own countries - i.e. the ones who share Tommy Robinson crap on their facebook pages, complain about immigrants coming to their countries etc, while ignoring the fact that they are effectively an immigrant in someone else's country. They generally then tend to treat the Thais like crap and as if they should be subservient to them (their wives and girlfriends included) and then they can't work out why their wife just left them and took the house they built and put in her name with her when she went. 

 

I don't know where I sit on the success/failure spectrum over here, but I just try to treat Thais as I'd wish to be treated myself and I don't see myself as better or worse than the average Thai. Save for a couple of taxi driver experiences, I've had zero issues and love my life in Thailand. It's certainly not rocket science anyway

Personally, I see a vast gulf of distance between "first world" migrants, in small numbers, able to sustain themselves financially according to the rules of the "target" country they are now living in, and "third world" so-called "economic" migrants flooding into a "first world" country, who are obliged to implore for assistance from the target country's social security net, and bring with them concomitant 3rd world standards of health, hygiene, education, etc.

 

There are those on the left who would call this a "racist" viewpoint.  I believe it to be the reality of life, nothing more.  Unless one has rose-tinted spectacles, or lives in a bubble, no one said that life is fair; it is anything but! 

[transam]

12 hours ago, Elad said:

If you meet a lady DO NOT go to the village, because they'll take the shirt off your back. 

Not your size....????

[55Jay]

[Curmudgeon1]

On 1/26/2019 at 6:57 AM, AlexRich said:

I’m not with you on the “wai” comment. I think foreigners look a bit stupid doing that, it is not their culture and every Thai understands that. Thais don’t change their culture when they are overseas, and no reasonable person would expect them too. However long you live in Thailand you are not and never will be Thai. 

 

 

 

Refusal to acclimate makes you as big an a*hole ad the muslims in no go zones governed with sharia law.

 

[Orton Rd]

1 hour ago, SammyT said:

I think the biggest irony I see in expats in Thailand who often end up failing are the ones who are super racist about their own countries - i.e. the ones who share Tommy Robinson crap on their facebook pages,

Post one 'racist' thing Tommy Robinson has ever said