Hummin Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 3 hours ago, BritManToo said: I bet he wears all white when it isn't Buddha day and wais the greet staff at banks and restaurants. Auch, that one was a bit tough! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hummin Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 2 hours ago, HuskerDo said: Give money to the family on an "as needed" basis. Her father and mother are now your father and mother. If your biological parent needed help would you deny them? My gf father and mother never asked about a penny, and they have been working all their life in the rural country, making baht for baht, and live for less a month than I go out for a big night one time. We do help them and improve their living situation, yes, but give them salery? No, never. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purdey Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 Thai partners are used to Thai men who don't like women to go on and on. While a Thai-style physical rebuke is out of the question for Western men (I hope), exploding now and again and putting her "in her place" is traditional. Telling her in no uncertain terms that maybe she should go back to her home to cool off is not guaranteed to work but can be followed by making up with a dinner after a few hours. I think your passivity is making her upset. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexRich Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 9 hours ago, HuskerDo said: Did you treat the family as they were your own? When you marry a Thai woman you marry the family. Nothing confusing about that. It's the way it is in Thailand. If you disrespected her family in any way then that's where your problems most likely started. Sure. Perhaps the mistake he made was not to open his bank account and spread the love around the family? Of course, when all the love is spread and there is no love left to hand out the family will rally round and help him out? They would never dump him and leave him without a pot to pea in. When will those stupid Farang not learn? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
downunder66 Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 Well, many Thais can be very stubborn. Perhaps that is what she was referring to. But Thais, like all other people can improve, be taught, coached, encouraged, prodded, and stimulated into changing in modest ways. I’d like to know how...? Thais are very proud they have never been colonised and it seems to me will go out of there way not to listen to any advice or suggestion from Farang. They make a point of it down south I can assure you. Sent from my iPhone using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HuskerDo Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 2 hours ago, AlexRich said: Sure. Perhaps the mistake he made was not to open his bank account and spread the love around the family? Of course, when all the love is spread and there is no love left to hand out the family will rally round and help him out? They would never dump him and leave him without a pot to pea in. When will those stupid Farang not learn? I never said to drain the bank account but rather share a bit when needed. If you have the opinion that you should never share with your Thai family you obviously don't understand Thai culture. Would you not help your parents if needed? Would you not buy them a gift on occasion? If so then you should treat your Thai "family" the same way. "Of course, when all the love is spread and there is no love left to hand out the family will rally round and help him out?".... yes in most cases. Sounds like you just got yourself into a bad spot and think everyone will have the same experience. Karma. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pravda Posted February 26, 2019 Author Share Posted February 26, 2019 1 minute ago, HuskerDo said: yes in most cases. Sounds like you just got yourself into a bad spot and think everyone will have the same experience. Karma. Are Thai families helping with Farang extension requirements? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HuskerDo Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 1 hour ago, downunder66 said: I’d like to know how...? Thais are very proud they have never been colonised and it seems to me will go out of there way not to listen to any advice or suggestion from Farang. They make a point of it down south I can assure you. Sent from my iPhone using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app "it seems to me will go out of there way not to listen to any advice or suggestion from Farang".... most Farangs think they have all the answers. They don't. Thai's are quite able to make their own decisions and don't need a Farangs advice altho the Farang army seems to disagree. ???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HuskerDo Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 1 minute ago, Pravda said: Are Thai families helping with Farang extension requirements? Are you an adult? Do you need them to lead you to the potty when you need to pee as well? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pravda Posted February 26, 2019 Author Share Posted February 26, 2019 2 minutes ago, HuskerDo said: Are you an adult? Do you need them to lead you to the potty when you need to pee as well? You are the one that said Thais Family will help in most cases? So, are they going to sell land and house that Farang bought them to fund his retirement extension? You mentioned Karma to the other poster as if he did something wrong. The other poster is maybe in a bad spot, but it's a better spot than living in denial. Karma? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanemax Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 1 minute ago, HuskerDo said: "it seems to me will go out of there way not to listen to any advice or suggestion from Farang".... most Farangs think they have all the answers. They don't. Thai's are quite able to make their own decisions and don't need a Farangs advice altho the Farang army seems to disagree. ???? Although most Thais are quite able to make their own decisions , those decisions are usually wrong . "I think that I will place my crash helmet in the basket infront of the light and drive down the road at night with no crash helmet on and no light* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexRich Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 4 minutes ago, HuskerDo said: I never said to drain the bank account but rather share a bit when needed. If you have the opinion that you should never share with your Thai family you obviously don't understand Thai culture. Would you not help your parents if needed? Would you not buy them a gift on occasion? If so then you should treat your Thai "family" the same way. "Of course, when all the love is spread and there is no love left to hand out the family will rally round and help him out?".... yes in most cases. Sounds like you just got yourself into a bad spot and think everyone will have the same experience. Karma. Oh yes, "Thai culture" ... the supreme culture in the Universe, always to be obeyed. I'm not Thai, why would I abandon my own culture or common sense? I've never got myself in a bad spot in Thailand precisely because I've learned from the mistakes of others ... taken the sage of advice of those that have trodden these paths before and lost their shirts to "Thai culture". Karma? Good grief, you sound like someone who has come here and gone "all in" on all that rubbish. Good people get robbed, raped, beaten, killed every day on this planet ... what happened to them is not "karma" ... a concept that simply doesn't exist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HuskerDo Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 2 minutes ago, Pravda said: You are the one that said Thais Family will help in most cases? So, are they going to sell land and house that Farang bought them to fund his retirement extension? You mentioned Karma to the other poster as if he did something wrong. The other poster is maybe in a bad spot, but it's a better spot than living in denial. Karma? Oh, I see what you are saying on the visa extension. Yea, if he's in trouble financially due to the new rules then he's in a bad spot. Maybe for some folks the best thing they can do is return to their home country and work for a year or two and live very cheaply until they've saved up 800,000 baht and then return with no more visa issues to worry about (unless things change). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
downunder66 Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 "it seems to me will go out of there way not to listen to any advice or suggestion from Farang".... most Farangs think they have all the answers. They don't. Thai's are quite able to make their own decisions and don't need a Farangs advice altho the Farang army seems to disagree. [emoji846] I said ‘any’ - I didn’t suggest ‘all’. Don’t put words in my mouth !! My Thai wife and I run a hotel in the south and every time I DARE make a suggestion on how to improve our service to Farang it’s roundly rejected, and if it turns out that not doing it results in a poor review online then of course I am to blame. So now I let her make all the decisions because frankly I am fed up with banging my head on the ground. What do I know - I only worked as a Manager in one if the best Hyatt hotels in Asia [emoji848]Sent from my iPhone using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HuskerDo Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 4 minutes ago, AlexRich said: Oh yes, "Thai culture" ... the supreme culture in the Universe, always to be obeyed. I'm not Thai, why would I abandon my own culture or common sense? I've never got myself in a bad spot in Thailand precisely because I've learned from the mistakes of others ... taken the sage of advice of those that have trodden these paths before and lost their shirts to "Thai culture". Karma? Good grief, you sound like someone who has come here and gone "all in" on all that rubbish. Good people get robbed, raped, beaten, killed every day on this planet ... what happened to them is not "karma" ... a concept that simply doesn't exist. I never said you should abandon your culture but you need to respect theirs. It's their country after all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanemax Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 11 minutes ago, HuskerDo said: I never said to drain the bank account but rather share a bit when needed. If you have the opinion that you should never share with your Thai family you obviously don't understand Thai culture. Would you not help your parents if needed? Would you not buy them a gift on occasion? If so then you should treat your Thai "family" the same way. Yes, I would help my Parents if needed.................I just begrudge helping other peoples Parents . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HuskerDo Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 3 minutes ago, downunder66 said: I said ‘any’ - I didn’t suggest ‘all’. Don’t put words in my mouth !! My Thai wife and I run a hotel in the south and every time I DARE make a suggestion on how to improve our service to Farang it’s roundly rejected, and if it turns out that not doing it results in a poor review online then of course I am to blame. So now I let her make all the decisions because frankly I am fed up with banging my head on the ground. What do I know - I only worked as a Manager in one if the best Hyatt hotels in Asia Sent from my iPhone using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app Sounds like you married the wrong woman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HuskerDo Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 5 minutes ago, downunder66 said: I said ‘any’ - I didn’t suggest ‘all’. Don’t put words in my mouth !! My Thai wife and I run a hotel in the south and every time I DARE make a suggestion on how to improve our service to Farang it’s roundly rejected, and if it turns out that not doing it results in a poor review online then of course I am to blame. So now I let her make all the decisions because frankly I am fed up with banging my head on the ground. What do I know - I only worked as a Manager in one if the best Hyatt hotels in Asia Sent from my iPhone using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app "it seems to me will go out of there way not to listen to any advice or suggestion from Farang". The way you worded it "any" and "all" were synonymous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HuskerDo Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 6 minutes ago, sanemax said: Yes, I would help my Parents if needed.................I just begrudge helping other peoples Parents . That attitude needs to change if you want a happier life. When you marry you gain a "FATHER-in-law" and a "MOTHER-in-law". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanemax Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 Just now, HuskerDo said: That attitude needs to change if you want a happier life. When you marry you gain a "FATHER-in-law" and a "MOTHER-in-law". I am keeping that attitude and will have a happier life ...............I am staying single Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HuskerDo Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 8 hours ago, Hummin said: My gf father and mother never asked about a penny, and they have been working all their life in the rural country, making baht for baht, and live for less a month than I go out for a big night one time. We do help them and improve their living situation, yes, but give them salery? No, never. Where did I say "salary"? I was suggesting exactly what you mentioned above. HELP them. Good for you Hummin. You're doing the right thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexRich Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 6 minutes ago, HuskerDo said: I never said you should abandon your culture but you need to respect theirs. It's their country after all. I don't mind people being Buddhist (or any other religion, doesn't bother me at all) but I will only respect them if they prove themselves to be worthy of respect as a human being, and I don't care if they are Indian, Arab, Thai, Vietnamese ... but respecting the human being is not the same as behaving as if we share the same belief system. In my culture it's not the done thing to buy land and build houses for the in-laws, or pay off the debts of brothers-in-law, etc. I'm sure decent Thais would respect that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HuskerDo Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 3 minutes ago, sanemax said: I am keeping that attitude and will have a happier life ...............I am staying single Yes, staying single solves most situations related to family and the issues that ensue. ???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HuskerDo Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 3 minutes ago, AlexRich said: I don't mind people being Buddhist (or any other religion, doesn't bother me at all) but I will only respect them if they prove themselves to be worthy of respect as a human being, and I don't care if they are Indian, Arab, Thai, Vietnamese ... but respecting the human being is not the same as behaving as if we share the same belief system. In my culture it's not the done thing to buy land and build houses for the in-laws, or pay off the debts of brothers-in-law, etc. I'm sure decent Thais would respect that? "I don't mind people being Buddhist"...… well I'm sure the Buddhists and all other religions are relieved that you don't "mind" them following the religious beliefs they do. Again, you are in their country so...…. Yes, anyone paying off debts of a brother-in-law is nutty I agree. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spidey Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 2 minutes ago, HuskerDo said: That attitude needs to change if you want a happier life. When you marry you gain a "FATHER-in-law" and a "MOTHER-in-law". My father in law is a paedophile who's hobby was masturbating his 2 year old grandson, now my son. My mother in law accepted this behaviour and seriously neglected her grandson in other ways. I always make it clear to my wife that her parents (actually her stepfather, who had molested both her sister and 14 year old daughter) that they would get not one penny of my money and that I never wanted to see them again. Initially, this did cause some conflict, but I explained to my wife that I am a farang and could never accept their behaviour. Eventually she respected my stance and now admires my principles. It doesn't cause any problems between my wife and me now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HuskerDo Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 7 minutes ago, Spidey said: My father in law is a paedophile who's hobby was masturbating his 2 year old grandson, now my son. My mother in law accepted this behaviour and seriously neglected her grandson in other ways. I always make it clear to my wife that her parents (actually her stepfather, who had molested both her sister and 14 year old daughter) that they would get not one penny of my money and that I never wanted to see them again. Initially, this did cause some conflict, but I explained to my wife that I am a farang and could never accept their behaviour. Eventually she respected my stance and now admires my principles. It doesn't cause any problems between my wife and me now. That's unfortunate. No one should ever accept that sort of behavior. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spidey Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 1 minute ago, HuskerDo said: That's unfortunate. No one should ever accept that sort of behavior. Thais do. They seem to be able to put it in a box and lock it away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexRich Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 14 minutes ago, Spidey said: Thais do. They seem to be able to put it in a box and lock it away. Oh yes, the wonderful “Thai culture” that we should all follow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldhippy Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 53 minutes ago, HuskerDo said: "I don't mind people being Buddhist"...… well I'm sure the Buddhists and all other religions are relieved that you don't "mind" them following the religious beliefs they do. Again, you are in their country so...…. Yes, anyone paying off debts of a brother-in-law is nutty I agree. QUOTES: You reacted to:"I don't mind people being Buddhist" And said: Again, you are in their country so...…. So what? When I am in MY country, I dont mind them being christians. As long as they don't try to impose their views on me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldhippy Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 1 hour ago, HuskerDo said: I never said you should abandon your culture but you need to respect theirs. It's their country after all. I am very critical of my own culture. Why should I stop being critical when I move to a different culture? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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