Is this bar girl keen? Maybe a different story here

[atyclb]

4 hours ago, tingtongtourist said:

If you really like her and think she ok, then be the guy who will provide

..or risk someone else taking her.

 

 

you ever her the term "diminishing returns" .  or they get boring quickly due to their cerebration. 

 

add the term . "erratic behavior" it is highly relevant

 

 

not long ago i met a gal at a disco said she is a hairdresser and told me her sad story about french bf that left her and went to taiwan.

 

in the morning she hinted about some help for her fatherless child. ok.  she, chatting me up every day, seeming to care about me and wanting to come over and hang out but a definite price(double) and timeframe now as she cares so much. my condo and lifestyle is far from free.

 

i no longer wonder why bf relocated to taiwan, a middle class country where there are tons of gals not in the money game. i have dated some.

Edited March 7, 2019 by atyclb

[atyclb]

4 hours ago, NCC1701A said:

these first time posts are all structurally the same now.

 

you need to change your writing style a bit more with each new account.

 

 

here here, we know it is just "comic relief"

 

[atyclb]

10 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Consider that her average customer is retired, on a budget, overweight and possibly unhealthy, is too small ( size does matter, no matter what lies they tell ), too quick, and is no prospect for supporting the family.

 

 

i resent that remark

[from the home of CC]

on the very slim chance that this story is real:

a far as getting stung for $ vs true love consider the western woman, 60%+ divorce rate with half the value of your life gone - tend to make Thai bar girls look like rank amateurs by comparison..

Edited March 7, 2019 by from the home of CC

[xtrnuno41]

All women are the same not only Thai or bargirls. Even the women back home.

I agree with Puchayanck and skallywag, if you want enjoy it as long as it last

But guess you already could know that.

Maybe youll find THE one, but you can only tell in time. 

I know its rare to have a steady relation with any kind of woman nowadays.

If there is one asshair not straight, then they walk.

[Hansuman]

15 hours ago, A1Str8 said:

And who cares if she is a slut. Every girl is

Thanks for your putting the effort into your response A1Str8. 

At this stage I'm happy just to put my sausage into her.. and you're right there's a bit of slut in every girl.

I never said I loved her but I'm baffled as to why the money thing never came into the picture that's why I made this post.

I appreciate you're advice! 

Cheers

[Hansuman]

2 minutes ago, Hansuman said:

Thanks for your putting the effort into your response A1Str8. 

At this stage I'm happy just to put my sausage into her.. and you're right there's a bit of slut in every girl.

I never said I loved her but I'm baffled as to why the money thing never came into the picture that's why I made this post.

I appreciate you're advice! 

Cheers

 

[Dolmance]

Just because she's a prostitute, she's still a woman.  And a lot of married couples meet each other at their work.

 

If you want her, let her know.  The way you make that perfectly clear is by absolutely insisting she quit hooking, because no guy in love for real is going to tolerate his girl having sex with other men, period.   If you're really serious, if you really love her, then treat her just the way you would treat any other woman you were in love with.

 

Also, make her understand you don't give a rat's ass what she did before you two met.  If you do care, if that's a hang up, then don't waste her time or yours.  If you want this to work, then the only thing that should be important is what she does in the present and the future. 

 

Never, ever expect her to be grateful to you for getting her out of prostitution.  This has to be on the terms of man and woman and nothing else.

 

End of story.

 

[nicmate]

11 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Consider that her average customer is retired, on a budget, overweight and possibly unhealthy, is too small ( size does matter, no matter what lies they tell ), too quick, and is no prospect for supporting the family.

Young man is better looking than old fogey, does sex better, and has the potential to support family for many decades. In her shoes, would you do the long con if you thought it was the key to future happiness?

As said, enjoy the ride, but it's not true love.

Bargirls are bargirls for 2 reasons; to make money and to find a rich husband.

Laughable BS. The only relationships that work are those where either both parties actually like each other or are prepared to compromise to get what they want out of it. The only way to find out if you like her and she likes you is to give it a go and not be naive. Don't listen to the idiots who tell you how people think. I have known far more young peoples relationships fail because they believe the girl is lucky to have found such a young and handsome punter. Every country's view on what is attractive is different and every individuals opinion within that country is different to that, so don't think your relationship will be better because you are younger and prettier. My advice is give it a go and if it works it works and if not it doesn't. Same as anywhere. The poverty in SE Asia does drive more people in to prostitution, but it's the punters who tend to make them bad and very few people  are beyond redemption!

[NoshowJones]

12 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Consider that her average customer is retired, on a budget, overweight and possibly unhealthy, is too small ( size does matter, no matter what lies they tell ), too quick, and is no prospect for supporting the family.

Young man is better looking than old fogey, does sex better, and has the potential to support family for many decades. In her shoes, would you do the long con if you thought it was the key to future happiness?

As said, enjoy the ride, but it's not true love.

Bargirls are bargirls for 2 reasons; to make money and to find a rich husband.

 "and to find a rich husband."  I'm sure some are, but a lot of these girls have boyfriends, I'm sure these boyfriends won't be happy if their girlfriend leaves them for a rich husband.
 

[Nanaplaza666]

15 hours ago, A1Str8 said:

All this never try to take the bar out of the girl is nonsense. I have seen many, i mean many, that were eager to leave with a man like you(based on your description), nice looking, well dressed, etc and never look back.

The girlfriend of hers phoned her immediately when you showed up and she wasnt there, because Kate obviously told her friend, that wow, i really like this guy. Thats why they gave her the intel right away, your guy is here. If she wasnt into you, that would have never happened. You gotta watch the subtle signs, which they think you dont notice.
Of course, do not by any means trust her and think that oh yeah, she loves me. But you already know that. But if you like her and she clearly likes you, why not see where it goes. You just have to get clear with yourself from the beginning: you wont make fool moves! as in no money to her family, no moving to isaan, nothing goes under her name, not giving her large amounts of money, not believing everything she says and not letting her control any aspect of your life.
Here is how their brain works: if he is nice with me i am nice with him. if he gives me some money, i will be still forced to go with other guys. if he gives me more dough, then i wont have to. i can stop being a bar girl. if he leaves me, i will go back to the bar. if he cheats on me, i will take revenge. Pretty simple.
All you have to do is clearly let her know by your actions and words the next time you meet her, that you are not one of these clowns that she can take advantage of. Have fun with her, get to know her  but keep a keen eye on her. Never mind what she says. By their actions you shall know them.
And who cares if she is a slut. Every girl is, i know from experience. They just wont say it ,like these girls do. And what would you do if you were in their shoes? You either work at 7-11 and never make ends meet or use the only asset you were given and go with guys.
Its actually quite easy to see, whether she is the type of bar girl, that would leave this job behind, the moment she gets a chance or the one that has no aspirations and is totally hopeless. Watch her behaviour. How does she conduct herself? Watch the things she does for others. Is she a shrewd little thing or a pleasant one to be around? Does she do drugs? A lot of them do. If yes, run. She wont quit. Its actually so simple to read people, especially women, because they are more emotional by design. Which is easy to read. 

Wow aren't you the phsycologist , you should write a book on woman. Accept it will be a fantasy novel . 

[NoshowJones]

5 hours ago, Boomhauer said:

It's a trap dude. I have yet to hear a happy ending about a guy that meets a girl in a bar. All of these stories share one basic similarity: They all end in disaster.

 

Good luck and be careful out there!

I have a friend who met his bargirl wife in Pattaya long before I came here, about 20 years ago, he is still with her and they are very happy. I'm one of these Thaivisa guys mentioned earlier in this topic, who has a Batchelor Degree wife, but there is no way I will run down any guy who has an exbargirl wife. If I was rich and badly lacking in the looks department, I would probably have married a bargirl.

I have met and know quite a few ex bargirls, and from what I have seen. are very decent.

[Pravda]

boring

 

 

[snowgard]

you are hanging on the hook!!! ????

[Sydebolle]

Wait, I need a refill of pop corn ........... 

[Bundooman]

13 hours ago, madmen said:

Nearly all first posts these days launch straight into a thousand word essay

What's wrong? Can't you read then?

No concentration? Lack of knowledge of social skills?

I found them all entertaining, funny and interesting.

What's your problem?

 

 

I expect I'll find out soon enough though...………………………….

 

[Mukdahanman]

Don’t listen to the cynics, there’s plenty of genuine bargirls looking for a genuine relationship, yours sounds okay.

best of luck ????

[OzMan]

I agree with Mukdahanman, you are the only one that has met her and she seems genuine enough. Just go out with her for a while and see what happens. The problem I notice in Thailand is that time scales are shorter than in the West. I would not consider having a serious relationship with a girl in UK or Australia without knowing her for a few months. In BKK this get-to-know-you period seems to be just a week or two (at most). Good luck and go with the flow.

[Bugsy777]

When Hugh Heffner was alive and living in the Playboy Mansion, he had lots of Bunnies living with him. If Hugh had lived in  a one bedroom flat and wasn't rich, would the Bunnies have been there? Would anyone have known who Hugh Heffner even was?

 

Play it safe but have fun.

[cardinalblue]

More than likely, she is being supported from abroad by one or more....this gives her the luxury basically to assess other suitors and give freebies so to speak...

 

she is sizing you to see who is her better haul long term or short term as you might fall for her Image. Yes, you are paying  nothing up front with her in her hope she can snag a farm or other monies literally from you down the road 

Edited March 7, 2019 by cardinalblue

[RiVape]

My wife was a former bar girl and prostitute.  We met, fell in love and she left her old life, never to look back. 

 

She never insisted on any dowry, her family never asked me for money and continue not to.  She is never demanding and lives a very simple life with me on my very basic salary. She has two kids from a former marriage and never once asked me to support them in any way, her ex husbands duty as their father is his responsibility. 

 

We are married now for 5 years and have a beautiful 3 year old together.  We are each others life and she treats me like a King, as I her my Queen.  She sacrifices a lot to keep us together as a family and never complains about a thing.  She also has her own successful business cooking meals and has it delivered to teachers around Bangkok.  

 

So, I guess it is possible to take the bar out of the bargirl.  I'm living proof it's possible.

[jsflynn603]

Let us look at this objectively. 

You.  We know nothing of you except that you use the name Hansuman, possibly in reference to Hanuman an ancient ardent devotee of Lord Rama. Hanuman is “heroic, brave and steadfastly chaste & complete Celibate.” (Wikipedia)  Beyond that we know nothing, rich, poor, educated, engineer or candlemaker—we simply don’t know.
Her.  We know quite a lot.  She is a prostitute.  “…perhaps as many 1 million women work in Thailand’s sex industry and as many as 20 percent of all Thai women have worked as prostitutes at one time.” (search google to find quoted reference.)”

I will ignore “trafficked” girls, she is likely not one.  She most likely came from a farm region and came into being a bargirl via an auntie.  She likely went to uh, “work” (purportedly at some factory) with auntie, hopefully (but not likely) at age 18.  She is likely a Buddhist and may be quite reverent, going to temple, etc.  Her parents may, or may not know her occupation—it does not matter.  What does is that she has done exactly what is expected of a Thai daughter—to support her family and she does just that.

Looking at 12 years x 6 days per week x 1 male, she has “experienced” certain things a minimum of 3,723 times.  Even if she religiously used condoms, condoms have a failure rate at the absolute best of ~2%, therefore she has “not” had “safer” sex a minimum of 74 times.  Further, condoms do little to prevent transmission of Herpes virus.  Therefore, she has herpes, but may not have visible outbreaks.

Even without visible outbreaks, you (unless you are + already and there are two different strains) will become + for Herpes.  It is likely that she has many of the 100+ strains of HPV and may have one or more of the cancer-causing strains, which will be transmitted to you, though you don’t have a cervix and aren’t as quite as much risk (though you can get penile cancer). 

If she has engaged in oral sex it is likely that she has numerous strains of HPV orally and is at + risk of oropharyngeal cancer.  Kiss her and you may become infected that way (LeWine, 2013).

She may have chlamydia, gonorrhea or in the worst-case HIV.  Should the latter NOT be true, no problem, those former ones can be cured (probably).  In the worst-case she is one of over 1,115,415 adults (Wikipedia, 2008) with HIV.  If she found recently that she has HIV she may well be “hunting.”  She may know that there is a very rough road ahead for her--for there is no cure for HIV (yet).

She is old.  She is old if she is 30.   You say, “we are both the same age in our 30’s.”  Well, 30 is old for a Thai, especially old for a sex worker.”  That is typical in many Asian countries.  In the Philippines women over age 30 are not likely to be hired—they are considered “too old.” 

Her life has been one of survival to support her family—an admirable feat in a land of poverty.  However, to survive her mind had to learn to survive and that I feel, “bend a person’s mind.”  This results in the old adage, “you can take the girl out of the bar, but never take the bar out of the girl.”

I have read here of successful bar-girl/foreigner relationships, so it is possible.  

However, let’s go back to you.  It is likely that you have a high school education and come from a Western country.  Therefore, you are desirable. 

Now I shall ask a question:  There are millions of Thai women who are not promiscuous and have never worked in the sex trade.  A great many of them (if you can connect) will desire you unless of course, you want to f*** them on day one.  High-so families will demand sin sod, low-so maybe not much.  No matter which way you look at it you are a desirable “catch,” especially for a bar-girl.

In short, go for it, though I suspect that over time it will not turn out well simply because her mind-set is one of survival and economics.  And, by the way, now and historically speaking Thailand is largely about economics, it’s as simple fact. 

Here is my suggestion.  Leave Thailand and go to Cebu, Bohol, Oriental Negros or one of the other islands of the Philippines and find a good girl at whatever age you care to be compatible with. 

I’m not Thailand bashing but it is easier to find a “good wife,” in the Phils than it is in Thailand.  I’ve lived in Chiang mai and was engaged to a lovely and wonderful woman there.  I tried bringing her to the US on a fiancée visa but the Thai government denied it.  She had been married (monk wedding) and became pregnant quickly.  The Thai husband did not like his now, “fat” wife and so abandoned her and the daughter.  However, the ปู่ย่าตายาย (grandparents) had only one grand-daughter and forbade the son to agree to let the child leave—end of K1.  (And no, 127,400 baht could not convince the son—who cared less but dared not defy the ปู่ย่าตายาย.

Some years later I read a book by Pamela Druckerman titled “Lust in Translation.”  It is a book on infidelity around the planet.  In short there are only three countries where women (of course there are exceptions) do not cheat.  One is an African country and a husband routinely pours gasoline on a cheating wife.  Another is Nepal, a bit out of the way.  The third is the Phils.  I have lived there and as said, there are exceptions but the culture is very Catholic.  Divorce does not exist there legally (there are exceptions).  
There are bar-girls in Cebu City so I suggest you look in the provinces.  Look for a good church-going Catholic girl who wants to show you her family and there will be a LOT of family, (I did an ancestry on my family there, and found over 200 members from grandparents forward.  (a mere 3 generations).

I found my wife there on Filipino-cupid and one needs to learn the tricks as most are there to pick up some load or cash—but she was not.  It took connecting with her family and we chatted for months before visiting.  No disease issue—she had never kissed a male before.  I’m thinking of taking a contract job at the military base on Kwajalein Atoll.  I have zero fear that she’d cheat on me for the six months I’ll be gone.  

We went shopping the other day and she was thrilled to purchase a handbag at Walmart, it was marked down to $1.  She is an asset, not a debit.  This will not be the case with a Thai wife in your country.

I suggest that you consider both risks to yourself and your future.  Then assess your worth in the eyes of an Asian woman.  Then do as you will, as it is axiomatic that we all do what we think is best—but let the large brain think before the small brain does.  At any rate I wish you, and her, the best.

Btw, the inevitable question, I’m 68, she’s 25.  I have attached a photo of her (degraded quality to protect her privacy).   The photo was taken 2016.

LeWine, H. (2013).  HPV transmission during oral sex a growing cause of mouth and throat cancer. https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/hpv-transmission-during-oral-sex-a-growing-cause-of-mouth-and-throat-cancer-201306046346
 

Edited March 7, 2019 by jsflynn603
A small green alien's voice demanded changes.

[bbbbooboo]

20 hours ago, Puchaiyank said:

Been coming to Thailand for many years...retired here now...experienced many Kates along the way...all fun...

 

My philosophy...if it looks like an interesting train ride...board the train...enjoy the ride...if it derails...walk away...keep your happy memories...

+1 but don’t walk away... RUN

[DaRoadrunner]

It is usually true that you can take the girl out of the bar, but you can’t get the bar out of the girl.

Having said that, it’s not typical bar girl behavior to go shopping and reject your money.

Either she is genuine or she is planning on hooking you for something bigger.

Then again, you could marry a western girl who will legally get half of everything you own come the divorce.

Enjoy the ride.

[Elkski]

jsflynn603 ,. Wow what a good post.   You could have expanded a bit on HSV 1&2 .   I dont  think discussion's like this  consider or talk about the  STI risks enough.   

 

I am surprised your the only one so far to mention that over 30 is considered very old in Thailand.  Way past her prime .   Even 27 is past prime as a bargirl from what I have heard from a friend. 

  

To hansuman good luck.  Just enjoy things but she could easily keep up so much contact and video time with 3 men at one time.  It's her job.   But you could easily be her best prospect at the minute.  Because your young and could easily catch a 22 yr old to match your dreams. 

Edited March 7, 2019 by Elkski

[AAArdvark]

4 hours ago, jsflynn603 said:

Let us look at this objectively. 

You.  We know nothing of you except that you use the name Hansuman, possibly in reference to Hanuman an ancient ardent devotee of Lord Rama. Hanuman is “heroic, brave and steadfastly chaste & complete Celibate.” (Wikipedia)  Beyond that we know nothing, rich, poor, educated, engineer or candlemaker—we simply don’t know.
Her.  We know quite a lot.  She is a prostitute.  “…perhaps as many 1 million women work in Thailand’s sex industry and as many as 20 percent of all Thai women have worked as prostitutes at one time.” (search google to find quoted reference.)”

I will ignore “trafficked” girls, she is likely not one.  She most likely came from a farm region and came into being a bargirl via an auntie.  She likely went to uh, “work” (purportedly at some factory) with auntie, hopefully (but not likely) at age 18.  She is likely a Buddhist and may be quite reverent, going to temple, etc.  Her parents may, or may not know her occupation—it does not matter.  What does is that she has done exactly what is expected of a Thai daughter—to support her family and she does just that.

Looking at 12 years x 6 days per week x 1 male, she has “experienced” certain things a minimum of 3,723 times.  Even if she religiously used condoms, condoms have a failure rate at the absolute best of ~2%, therefore she has “not” had “safer” sex a minimum of 74 times.  Further, condoms do little to prevent transmission of Herpes virus.  Therefore, she has herpes, but may not have visible outbreaks.

Even without visible outbreaks, you (unless you are + already and there are two different strains) will become + for Herpes.  It is likely that she has many of the 100+ strains of HPV and may have one or more of the cancer-causing strains, which will be transmitted to you, though you don’t have a cervix and aren’t as quite as much risk (though you can get penile cancer). 

If she has engaged in oral sex it is likely that she has numerous strains of HPV orally and is at + risk of oropharyngeal cancer.  Kiss her and you may become infected that way (LeWine, 2013).

She may have chlamydia, gonorrhea or in the worst-case HIV.  Should the latter NOT be true, no problem, those former ones can be cured (probably).  In the worst-case she is one of over 1,115,415 adults (Wikipedia, 2008) with HIV.  If she found recently that she has HIV she may well be “hunting.”  She may know that there is a very rough road ahead for her--for there is no cure for HIV (yet).

She is old.  She is old if she is 30.   You say, “we are both the same age in our 30’s.”  Well, 30 is old for a Thai, especially old for a sex worker.”  That is typical in many Asian countries.  In the Philippines women over age 30 are not likely to be hired—they are considered “too old.” 

Her life has been one of survival to support her family—an admirable feat in a land of poverty.  However, to survive her mind had to learn to survive and that I feel, “bend a person’s mind.”  This results in the old adage, “you can take the girl out of the bar, but never take the bar out of the girl.”

I have read here of successful bar-girl/foreigner relationships, so it is possible.  

However, let’s go back to you.  It is likely that you have a high school education and come from a Western country.  Therefore, you are desirable. 

Now I shall ask a question:  There are millions of Thai women who are not promiscuous and have never worked in the sex trade.  A great many of them (if you can connect) will desire you unless of course, you want to f*** them on day one.  High-so families will demand sin sod, low-so maybe not much.  No matter which way you look at it you are a desirable “catch,” especially for a bar-girl.

In short, go for it, though I suspect that over time it will not turn out well simply because her mind-set is one of survival and economics.  And, by the way, now and historically speaking Thailand is largely about economics, it’s as simple fact. 

Here is my suggestion.  Leave Thailand and go to Cebu, Bohol, Oriental Negros or one of the other islands of the Philippines and find a good girl at whatever age you care to be compatible with. 

I’m not Thailand bashing but it is easier to find a “good wife,” in the Phils than it is in Thailand.  I’ve lived in Chiang mai and was engaged to a lovely and wonderful woman there.  I tried bringing her to the US on a fiancée visa but the Thai government denied it.  She had been married (monk wedding) and became pregnant quickly.  The Thai husband did not like his now, “fat” wife and so abandoned her and the daughter.  However, the ปู่ย่าตายาย (grandparents) had only one grand-daughter and forbade the son to agree to let the child leave—end of K1.  (And no, 127,400 baht could not convince the son—who cared less but dared not defy the ปู่ย่าตายาย.

Some years later I read a book by Pamela Druckerman titled “Lust in Translation.”  It is a book on infidelity around the planet.  In short there are only three countries where women (of course there are exceptions) do not cheat.  One is an African country and a husband routinely pours gasoline on a cheating wife.  Another is Nepal, a bit out of the way.  The third is the Phils.  I have lived there and as said, there are exceptions but the culture is very Catholic.  Divorce does not exist there legally (there are exceptions).  
There are bar-girls in Cebu City so I suggest you look in the provinces.  Look for a good church-going Catholic girl who wants to show you her family and there will be a LOT of family, (I did an ancestry on my family there, and found over 200 members from grandparents forward.  (a mere 3 generations).

I found my wife there on Filipino-cupid and one needs to learn the tricks as most are there to pick up some load or cash—but she was not.  It took connecting with her family and we chatted for months before visiting.  No disease issue—she had never kissed a male before.  I’m thinking of taking a contract job at the military base on Kwajalein Atoll.  I have zero fear that she’d cheat on me for the six months I’ll be gone.  

We went shopping the other day and she was thrilled to purchase a handbag at Walmart, it was marked down to $1.  She is an asset, not a debit.  This will not be the case with a Thai wife in your country.

I suggest that you consider both risks to yourself and your future.  Then assess your worth in the eyes of an Asian woman.  Then do as you will, as it is axiomatic that we all do what we think is best—but let the large brain think before the small brain does.  At any rate I wish you, and her, the best.

Btw, the inevitable question, I’m 68, she’s 25.  I have attached a photo of her (degraded quality to protect her privacy).   The photo was taken 2016.

LeWine, H. (2013).  HPV transmission during oral sex a growing cause of mouth and throat cancer. https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/hpv-transmission-during-oral-sex-a-growing-cause-of-mouth-and-throat-cancer-201306046346
 

Ask Kate if she is willing to have a full medical checkup .

[faraday]

Dear gawd, some people!!!

[HighPriority]

13 hours ago, Dolmance said:

Just because she's a prostitute, she's still a woman.  And a lot of married couples meet each other at their work.

 

If you want her, let her know.  The way you make that perfectly clear is by absolutely insisting she quit hooking, because no guy in love for real is going to tolerate his girl having sex with other men, period.   If you're really serious, if you really love her, then treat her just the way you would treat any other woman you were in love with.

 

Also, make her understand you don't give a rat's ass what she did before you two met.  If you do care, if that's a hang up, then don't waste her time or yours.  If you want this to work, then the only thing that should be important is what she does in the present and the future. 

 

Never, ever expect her to be grateful to you for getting her out of prostitution.  This has to be on the terms of man and woman and nothing else.

 

End of story.

 

????

some of the strongest relationships I’ve met in my life have been between committed swingers.

 

[tandor]

On 3/7/2019 at 5:47 AM, madmen said:

Nearly all first posts these days launch straight into a thousand word essay

..sharing their excitement.

[Orton Rd]

On 3/7/2019 at 5:47 AM, madmen said:

Nearly all first posts these days launch straight into a thousand word essay

On girlie stories or visa/immigration woes, some of them barely believable, mmmm.