Dating advice.....possible, but not obvious "Sick buffalo"

[The Theory]

1 minute ago, sofreshnsocleanclean said:

Don't know what you're implying but she is quiet and shy. It took forever to get her to talk to me. She stays in the background.

I’m sure she is as you say. And if you are so sure about things, why did you bring this story to here and asking for advice !!!

I beleive some people need to experience things to the end by themselves, then it becomes a good lesson for their future. Perhaps you need to try it this way. It could be more exciting though ????. 

[sofreshnsocleanclean]

Just now, The Theory said:

I’m sure she is as you say. And if you are so sure about things, why did you bring this story to here and asking for advice !!!

I beleive some people need to experience things to the end by themselves, then it becomes a good lesson for their future. Perhaps you need to try it this way. It could be more exciting though ????. 

I never claimed to be so sure about anything. In fact if you've read my posts you know just the opposite. Was just addressing what you said about her personality type.. ... sure it could all be a farce though ???? I could be wrong!!! I have been in the past. 

[NanLaew]

23 hours ago, sofreshnsocleanclean said:

I'm starting to think she's just REALLY good at this. 
Either that or I'm insecure......

Yes.

 

And yes.

[watcharacters]

21 hours ago, sofreshnsocleanclean said:

I'm American, Hans. 

 

21 hours ago, sofreshnsocleanclean said:

22 hours ago, Nyezhov said:

Now now Fritzie, dont cast aspersions on an alte kakker like moi.....

I'm American, Hans. 

 

He doesn't bother with accuracy.

[sofreshnsocleanclean]

12 minutes ago, vinniekintana said:

Sorry.....didn't read the whole thread

i.e. "Sorry I didn't read most of the information but I have an opinion anyway" - oh so you must be American too. 

[sofreshnsocleanclean]

3 minutes ago, vinniekintana said:

I read your initial posting and a lot of red flags there already????

 

Yeah, probably. I'm not giving her any more money. I didn't give her all that much to begin with. 

[direction BANGKOK]

The two things we know are she has all these businesses and she seems like she is good with her interactions with men...

 

You need to just go back and hang out with her to really know anything in my opinion. 

[Ebumbu]

You already gave her money. You will never see it returned to you. They don't have to ask for money. They know how to work you with just a look or a turn of phrase. You are dealing with a master-level manipulator with decades if experience. She is the boss the the bargirls, like the boss of a video game. You will lose to the boss. She is the strongest of all.  

And she mentioned money before you return. You have all the info you need. In your heart of hearts, you already know the answer. You are the mouse and she is the cat. 

[Olmate]

2 hours ago, sofreshnsocleanclean said:

That's hilarious! I work in corporate finance as well as owning my own small business. I'm glad you were able to assess my business acumen just from a few posts on a forum! ????????????????

Simple then,put up your business case and borrow the baht,I,m sure it will get the 5 star rating. Perhaps don’t mention your conflict of interest !

[Jaggg88]

On 3/13/2019 at 10:58 AM, sofreshnsocleanclean said:

My thoughts as well. I'm just trying to figure out where do I fit into this, in her mind. Also, she knows I don't care that "she’s in a business that’s about relationships with men and hustling their money into her pocket.". I know what she's doing and she knows it, and you gotta do what you gotta do. 

 

My hypothesis is one of the following, in this order:
1. She liked the sex and it's worth it to keep me for that  
2. She's REALLY good at being dishonest, and will ask me for money in another indirect way later.    

3. She actually likes me

 

I'm keeping a very close eye out for "my mom is sick all my money is tied in the bar" situations. But so far she hasn't seemed like a gold digger. 

4. All of the above

[sofreshnsocleanclean]

19 minutes ago, Olmate said:

Simple then,put up your business case and borrow the baht,I,m sure it will get the 5 star rating. Perhaps don’t mention your conflict of interest !

I wouldn't finance a small business on debt. And what's the conflict of interest? I'm not going into business with this girl.... nor would I. 

[BritManToo]

2 hours ago, sofreshnsocleanclean said:

I appreciate your input. You're much more reasonable then half the idiots here. Even if in my case the situation is different - which may or MAY NOT be. We will see. 

What you don't realise as a n00b, is how manipulative these women are, and the 40yos are the worse because they've had so much more experience. At 35yo, you should be looking at the 20yo girls, much less skilled at playing you.

[sofreshnsocleanclean]

Ok I think there isn't much more to discuss. We can probably close this thread now. 

I think the lesson here is that, she probably is manipulating me. Fine. As long as I'm aware of it, I can enjoy getting laid by a very attractive woman until the point she "hints" that she needs financial assistance again. At which point, I'm out. 

 

[xtrnuno41]

You are 35 and have had your experiences, ok so could give some block in your head, it will always run in the background. I know. The more experiences make the block bigger, you get more careful.

SHe is a woman and women are from Venus, we are from Mars, they say. There are big differences.

 

She is 41, too old for a Thai man and maybe not so white. Maybe never had a real relationship. She is educated and has a degree, so not really stupid.

At one point if a Thai woman didnt succeed in finding a husband in their 20-ties , they go all in on their work and no time for anything else.

As they grow older maybe one day it pops in the brain and want to be in a relation.

 

IM now in, already 4 years, a relation with a 51 yo Thai educated woman, a labour inspector.  SHe had buried herself in her work.

She didnt have a "relationship" for 20 years and then im also a western guy.

If im with her, i really have to insist of paying something, otherwise she pays all.

She feels obliged to pay all, but from my western point of view i have to do. So we are in the middle.

Yeah, ever since we met online and real, i see differences in acting and specially in beginning it annoyed me, wasnt in the way I expected.

There it is , I expect. But she is a woman and Thai with no experience in relation. ALso have to consider menopause. As always you have to add water to the wine.

 

Sometimes im flabbergasted with what she is saying. I do say something about it when in my eyes and ears are weird things, but try with respect to tell, thats though.

And sometimes she gets angry then, then think of it and later come back with apology.

As i sat down and overlooked my relations then you see similarities .

I had Dutch, Antillian, Indonesian, Philippine women for relations. I wonder sometimes, is it me then? Nope, yeah ok by picking the wrong women, in that way. Im some kind of man who attracts them. It isnt that much different and ok all ended, so should i be worried? Guess yeah and no, due to all other experiences. You try to find the good differences, which make it worthwhile then. It is not otherwise

 

It s in my mind, never the less ill go on just one more time. It doesnt matter if she is Thai, German or what ever country. The woman are all the same somehow and only by experience, you will know how to go. Nothing is for certain 

I was married 12 year with kids and my wife divorced me, just like that. I noticed by talking with colleges, i wasnt the only one. Even people married for 40 years and over and then divorce. It happens.

 

You are already moving there, so you can built it up. No problem, you can try to make of it what you want it to be. But keep your eyes always open.

However i think you are not that stupid to run what ever is coming your way. You ve been around the block, had your experiences, aswell with women. Nothing really changes then for you, this is just another experience.

Go with the ride and see what happens. DOnt think just negative about the Thai woman, as you can have "bad women" everywhere.

A journey again.

 

 

 

[ancharee]

23 hours ago, sofreshnsocleanclean said:

Ok but once again, I have lived abroad in a handful of countries and this isn't my first time around the block. If I wasn't skeptical and was "totally naive", I wouldn't be inquiring about this & being suspicious, would I??

I think you have lost the plot or just trying to wind people up on TV, if you have lived in a handful of countries abroad and you are not naïve why on earth are you asking for advice on this forum, and suggesting this so called bar the girls are just being friendly but they don't go with the customers even though they are having drinks bought for them, I'm afraid you are in dream land, listen to NCC and grow up .

[sofreshnsocleanclean]

7 minutes ago, ancharee said:

I think you have lost the plot or just trying to wind people up on TV, if you have lived in a handful of countries abroad and you are not naïve why on earth are you asking for advice on this forum, and suggesting this so called bar the girls are just being friendly but they don't go with the customers even though they are having drinks bought for them, I'm afraid you are in dream land, listen to NCC and grow up .

???????????? you really just went through 14 pages and cherry picked a comment you could argue with, just so you could feel important!? Pathetic 

[SammyT]

14 minutes ago, ancharee said:

I think you have lost the plot or just trying to wind people up on TV, if you have lived in a handful of countries abroad and you are not naïve why on earth are you asking for advice on this forum, and suggesting this so called bar the girls are just being friendly but they don't go with the customers even though they are having drinks bought for them, I'm afraid you are in dream land, listen to NCC and grow up .

Definitely. I'm picking the girl who loved him so much has probably had other farang between then and now and is selling them the same lines. Hes unwilling to listen. Gonna have to make his own mistakes. 

[Nyezhov]

48 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

At 35yo, you should be looking at the 20yo girls, much less skilled at playing you.

Cor blimey im 63 on the 20 year olds, easier to deal with.

 

No wrinkles or cottage cheese thighs either.

[Pravda]

3 hours ago, sofreshnsocleanclean said:

Well why don't you whine about it then? First of all, I've been to Thailand twice an this was the first time I had sex with anyone. I am not a sex tourist like you and the herd of other like-minded idiots here. Second, I came here to ask for real advice for a real life situation. Third, I am not here to entertain you. If you don't like the post or it "bores you" then move the f*** on!!! 

 

Talking about assumptions my wife actually has a real degree and works for the biggest international company in Thailand..... and I definitely didn't meet her in a bar or in Thailand for that matter. She indeed has many single, good looking friends in their 30's. Would you like to meet them?

 

Actually, I was being quite entertained by your post comparing a brothel in Samui with some bar you schlepped in San Diego. The part that bores me are your posts where you keep justifying your encounters with this Mamasan as being something completely different and unique in the Land of Smog (credit to another poster for that one).

 

No one here knows if yours is different, so I am not really sure what answers did you expect to hear? The advice received so far is very much applicable to Thailand.

 

You're welcome.

 

 

[ancharee]

26 minutes ago, sofreshnsocleanclean said:

???????????? you really just went through 14 pages and cherry picked a comment you could argue with, just so you could feel important!? Pathetic 

No I skipped through them after 3 pages as they were pathetic, if your that well educated and wise why don't you ask your many friends, business contacts and not forgetting your wonderful lawyer for advice rather than wasting your time on TV. pathetic

[sofreshnsocleanclean]

18 minutes ago, ancharee said:

No I skipped through them after 3 pages as they were pathetic, if your that well educated and wise why don't you ask your many friends, business contacts and not forgetting your wonderful lawyer for advice rather than wasting your time on TV. pathetic

????????????????????

[sofreshnsocleanclean]

33 minutes ago, Pravda said:

 

Talking about assumptions my wife actually has a real degree and works for the biggest international company in Thailand..... and I definitely didn't meet her in a bar or in Thailand for that matter. She indeed has many single, good looking friends in their 30's. Would you like to meet them?

 

Actually, I was being quite entertained by your post comparing a brothel in Samui with some bar you schlepped in San Diego. The part that bores me are your posts where you keep justifying your encounters with this Mamasan as being something completely different and unique in the Land of Smog (credit to another poster for that one).

 

No one here knows if yours is different, so I am not really sure what answers did you expect to hear? The advice received so far is very much applicable to Thailand.

 

You're welcome.

 

 

I’m not even going to sit here and address each piece of BS in your response again. 

[sofreshnsocleanclean]

1 hour ago, sofreshnsocleanclean said:

Ok I think there isn't much more to discuss. We can probably close this thread now. 

I think the lesson here is that, she probably is manipulating me. Fine. As long as I'm aware of it, I can enjoy getting laid by a very attractive woman until the point she "hints" that she needs financial assistance again. At which point, I'm out. 

 

 

For all of you arrogant know it alls that want to keep arguing, please read my previous comment. Case closed!!!!

[Pravda]

7 minutes ago, sofreshnsocleanclean said:

I’m not even going to sit here and address each piece of BS in your response again. 

 

Why not? You started this amazingly amazing original thread

 

 

 

 

[sofreshnsocleanclean]

33 minutes ago, Pravda said:

 

Why not? You started this amazingly amazing original thread

 

 

 

 

Because you have an arrogant and presumptuous disposition and arguing with people like you is a waste of time. 

[Elkski]

Whew,. After reading 13 pages and then hearing the OP requested thread to be closed I was worried I wasted my time.  nCC must be listened to, pravta seems to be a smart man as well as some others. 

Also the man with the 51 year old professional lady who buried herself in her work.   I have met many educated middle aged women who after they got dumped by their Thai husband for a much younger women they dedicated their life to their children their education, and their employment and at 40 or 45 came up for air thinking about the rest of life and not wanting to be alone.  I may be a naive American but I'm sure they tell truth I was the second partner.  Lol. Really?

  I have been coming to Thailand for only 3 years and not as a  paying sex Pat,  I have dedicated almost full-time the study of Thailand and reading about all the pitfalls and traps positive and negative Thailand  women have to offer.  The first trip was for scuba diving but since I have taken seven trips in the last 3 years for about a six-month span total. I think the OP is a very top quality man and he seems very worldly educated even though he is an American which means we are naive.  All you guys must admit he seems to have been up against the ropes and seems very savy,  quite a bit more than 90% of the posters of threads like this. 

I have heard samui is a big Mafia island.  Does she really have full ownership of these bars? Does it really matter? Consider Brown envelopes in your BNB business plan. 

You must know that a woman in Thailand over 40 thinks of herself as being well beyond  her prime. Like desperate.  The fact that she can attract such a self-proclaimed hunk who's only 35 who has more wealth than most farang and thai than she has ever met.   Why wouldn't she have an interest in him and why can't she be a fairly innocent woman and still be a bar business owner? But trust and verify.  how many men would have the desire or gumption to approach a  cute bar owner? How many men does she see who she doesn't think are sex pats?

I think when two people are learning each other and sharing their life experiences many times little financial difficulties arise in conversation  in one person's life or the other,  a car repair or sick Buffalo, I think it's just part of conversation and you don't typically offer to pay for your Western 5-day girlfriend's car repair do you?  I think you should have chosen to ignore and not donate any money. I think it does matter how much money we are talking about? If it was just a 10,000 baht donation then of course why would she really even need to buy something so little?  100,000 you must have deep pockets it a sucker.   I think that since you gave $ and she accepted however reluctantly this is the main cause of most of your doubts. As it should be.  but we have all bought phones and watches and maybe a little bit of jewelry or helped out financially now and again. Don't believe in me Farang who says differently. 

I say she's worth the 2500 bucks or less to go back for 2 weeks enjoy every minute of it,  wear a condom,  both get tested at least for HIV.  I think women are at their sexual prime when they're 40 and can be very attractive and an intelligent business owner like this would be high on my list and far superior to a 25 year old. however a 35 year-old man could easily catch 21 or 22 year-old woman so she is right in saying that you could catch much more beautiful and younger women. Ad a business person she is not likely to just decide to retire in the next 10 or 15 years. So if you are thinking about retiring early she may not be able to free her life up and travel and enjoy life like you plan.   you really got some good advice here and It really wasn't too much negativity  compared to usual and you should not have got so upset and bickered with a guy.  you should have just  ignored Sammy.  But his advice was his experience and sound. 

Elk

 

[BTB1977]

Who writes this fictional stories? 

[Elkski]

24 minutes ago, BTB1977 said:

Who writes this fictional stories? 

Maybe TAT! they have probably seen a rise in flights bookings to Koh Samui.  

[sofreshnsocleanclean]

46 minutes ago, Elkski said:

Whew,. After reading 13 pages and then hearing the OP requested thread to be closed I was worried I wasted my time.  nCC must be listened to, pravta seems to be a smart man as well as some others. 

Also the man with the 51 year old professional lady who buried herself in her work.   I have met many educated middle aged women who after they got dumped by their Thai husband for a much younger women they dedicated their life to their children their education, and their employment and at 40 or 45 came up for air thinking about the rest of life and not wanting to be alone.  I may be a naive American but I'm sure they tell truth I was the second partner.  Lol. Really?

  I have been coming to Thailand for only 3 years and not as a  paying sex Pat,  I have dedicated almost full-time the study of Thailand and reading about all the pitfalls and traps positive and negative Thailand  women have to offer.  The first trip was for scuba diving but since I have taken seven trips in the last 3 years for about a six-month span total. I think the OP is a very top quality man and he seems very worldly educated even though he is an American which means we are naive.  All you guys must admit he seems to have been up against the ropes and seems very savy,  quite a bit more than 90% of the posters of threads like this. 

I have heard samui is a big Mafia island.  Does she really have full ownership of these bars? Does it really matter? Consider Brown envelopes in your BNB business plan. 

You must know that a woman in Thailand over 40 thinks of herself as being well beyond  her prime. Like desperate.  The fact that she can attract such a self-proclaimed hunk who's only 35 who has more wealth than most farang and thai than she has ever met.   Why wouldn't she have an interest in him and why can't she be a fairly innocent woman and still be a bar business owner? But trust and verify.  how many men would have the desire or gumption to approach a  cute bar owner? How many men does she see who she doesn't think are sex pats?

I think when two people are learning each other and sharing their life experiences many times little financial difficulties arise in conversation  in one person's life or the other,  a car repair or sick Buffalo, I think it's just part of conversation and you don't typically offer to pay for your Western 5-day girlfriend's car repair do you?  I think you should have chosen to ignore and not donate any money. I think it does matter how much money we are talking about? If it was just a 10,000 baht donation then of course why would she really even need to buy something so little?  100,000 you must have deep pockets it a sucker.   I think that since you gave $ and she accepted however reluctantly this is the main cause of most of your doubts. As it should be.  but we have all bought phones and watches and maybe a little bit of jewelry or helped out financially now and again. Don't believe in me Farang who says differently. 

I say she's worth the 2500 bucks or less to go back for 2 weeks enjoy every minute of it,  wear a condom,  both get tested at least for HIV.  I think women are at their sexual prime when they're 40 and can be very attractive and an intelligent business owner like this would be high on my list and far superior to a 25 year old. however a 35 year-old man could easily catch 21 or 22 year-old woman so she is right in saying that you could catch much more beautiful and younger women. Ad a business person she is not likely to just decide to retire in the next 10 or 15 years. So if you are thinking about retiring early she may not be able to free her life up and travel and enjoy life like you plan.   you really got some good advice here and It really wasn't too much negativity  compared to usual and you should not have got so upset and bickered with a guy.  you should have just  ignored Sammy.  But his advice was his experience and sound. 

Elk

 

Most reasonable response yet. For the record it was only 9000 baht. I don’t care at all for younger women. And you’d never believe this woman was 42 - she has an amazing body. I don’t mean that to brag or anything, that’s not my style, but it is true. I have until now weeded out the rude and cynical and have gotten some sound advice. Not from those you mentioned, but I digress. 

[FarangDoingHisThing69]

She sounds like a good sugar mama. What's your issue with being a "kept" man?