hmmm.

the nud_e scenes are a little humiliating, but that aside, id be honored.

hmmm.

the nud_e scenes are a little humiliating, but that aside, id be honored.

How bout a ragged sarong and dog-chewed flipflops? With a rice cooker hooked up to an extension cord that goes to BKK? I'll work on the script. Thank you.

hmmm.

the nud_e scenes are a little humiliating, but that aside, id be honored.

How bout a ragged sarong and dog-chewed flipflops? With a rice cooker hooked up to an extension cord that goes to BKK? I'll work on the script. Thank you.

ok count me in. but no rice cooker - I only eat berries.

ok count me in. but no rice cooker - I only eat berries.

True, you got a whole bush of em before the mob arrives.

good story line.

conversion to religion...so no drinking and smoking on the set?

and what is my role?

You can play the drinker and smoker on set. This means that every time you need a drink or smoke you can re-shoot a scene. It'll be all right on the night!

OK. If it's gonna be The Life of Brian Terence, the obvious role for me is his mother. I have been practising her line "Now I want you all to just P**O" for a few months now.

Here are scenes from the show:

Suegha, Britmav, Boon Mee: We are three wise men.

Jet: Well, what are you doing creeping around a cow shed at two o'clock in the morning? That doesn't sound very wise to me.

***

Jet: So, next time you go on about the 'bluddy English', don't forget you're one of them.

Terence: I'm not a pom, Mum, and I never will be! I'm an Ozzie! A koala! An outback bongo! A fair dinkum mate! I'm a beer guzzling fireman, Mum! And I'm going to Thailand. I'm gonna be an Andaman pedestrian beach bum, and be proud of it!

***

Thai Bebop: ...if it's not a personal question, are you a virgin?

Jet: 'If it's not a personal question'? How much more personal can you get? Now, p*** off!

***

Lao Po to convicted prisoner: Good. Out of the door. Line on the left. One cross each. Next. Crucifixion?

DJT: Ah, no. Freedom.

Lao Po: Hmm?

DJT: Eh, freedom for me. They said I hadn't done anything, so I could go free and live on an island somewhere with Terence in Thailand.

Lao Po: Oh. Oh, well, that's jolly good. Well, off you go, then.

DJT: Naa, I'm only pulling your leg. It's crucifixion, really.

That kind of thing, Ducky?

More scenes.

Terence: Have I got a big hose, Mum?

Jet: Oh, stop thinking about sex.

Terence: I wasn't.

Jet: You're always on about it... morning, noon, and night. 'Will the katoeys like this?' 'Will the katoeys like that?' 'Is it too big?' 'Is it too small?'

***

Ol Red Eyes: Half a satang for an old ex-leper?

Terence: Did you say... 'ex-leper'?

ORE: Yes sir, I was cured, sir.

Terence: Who cured you?

ORE: Endure did, sir. I was hopping along, minding my own business. All of a sudden, up Endure comes. Cures me. One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood's gone and I'm addicted to TV. Not so much as a by your leave. 'You're cured mate.' Bloody do-gooder.

***

DJT: I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me Kitten.

Mid: What?!

DJT: It's my right as a man.

November Rain: Well, why do you want to be Kitten, DJT?

DJT: I want to have babies.

Mid: You want to have babies?!

DJT: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.

Mid: But... you can't have babies.

DJT: Don't you oppress me.

Mid: I'm not oppressing you. You haven't got a womb! Where's the foetus going to gestate?! You going to keep it in a box?!

DJT: [crying]

NR: Here! I-- I've got an idea. Suppose you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb, which is nobody's fault, not even George W Bush's, but agree that he can have the right to have babies.

***

:D :D

:bah:

edit:

right, now I've managed to post that many smilies, I'm actually gonna read what I was laughing about now....

Another scene snippet

NB: some characters have been changed to make room for more members.

(Terence peddling a stall cart selling papaya salad, noodles, crispy roaches and lao khao and calling out his goods)

Robski: I don't want any of that rubbish.

NR: Why don't you sell farang food?

Terence: Farang food?

Robski: Yeah, not that noodle-O, grubs and jet fuel.

Jet whooshes in: Did you just take my name in vain? Now you just P** O.

Robski: Geez, talk about surveillance. Sorry...

Terence: Well, food or not? Don't blame me. I didn't ask to sell this stuff.

Robski: All right. Bag of roaches, then.

Farangsay: Make it two. With chili sauce.

(Terence hands over two Bt5 bags and sauce.)

Robski and FS: Thanks.

Terence: Are you the Keep Bad Farang Away From Thailand Front?

Robski: F** off!

Terence: What?

Robski: Bad Farang Out Front of Thailand. We're the Bad Farang Out Front! Not Keep Bad Farang Away. Cawk.

FS: Wonklettes.

Terence: Can I... join your group?

Robski: No. P** off, but go get us some beers first.

Jet I love the Direction this is all going, your scripts are superb..

Now you know that Pinky used to be a cute furry Wittle Wabbit..

We used to do a bit of Hoofing with our striped jackets and Straw Boaters

Do you think we could get to do the odd Cameo Bit??

Mid: I'm not oppressing you. You haven't got a womb! Where's the foetus going to gestate?! You going to keep it in a box?!

Brilliant ..............

Jet I love the Direction this is all going, your scripts are superb..

Now you know that Pinky used to be a cute furry Wittle Wabbit..

We used to do a bit of Hoofing with our striped jackets and Straw Boaters

Do you think we could get to do the odd Cameo Bit??

working on it...

Mid: I'm not oppressing you. You haven't got a womb! Where's the foetus going to gestate?! You going to keep it in a box?!

Brilliant ..............

Hey, the credit is not mine: Most of this is lifted straight from the original script; I'm just reworking it into TV forum.

More extracts ....

Bojangles : Fark its hot today !

Jockstar : Reet aboot that.

Bojangles : What ?

Jockstar : Reet aboot that.

Bojangles : What ?

Jockstar : Fookin listen ye daft sasenach.

Bojangles : What ?

LBD waddles up to Grover who's lightly playing the bongo drums near the conversation ....

LBD : Quack ! Where's she from ?

Grover : Who ? The guy with the skirt ?

LBD : Quack ! That's a guy ? Thought it was a gal.

Grover : Nope. that's a guy ... Hes wearing a kilt.

LBD : Quack ! Aha that's why the other guy cannot understand him.

Bojangles : Sorry luv I'm not so good with languages.

Jockstar : Fookin eejit ye fancy a pint o heavy ?

Bojangles : OK (and leans forward to kiss Jockstar)

Jockstar : Ye fookin poofta geroof me (pushes Bojaongles away disgustedly).

Kayo bounds round the corner with Soph in hot pursuit ...

Kayo : Kiss her quick Bo she's all yours

Bojangles : As long as she doesn't support United.

Jockstar looks quizzically at Kayo.

Jockstar : Ye hefaloomp ye fancy a pint o heavy ?

Kayo : Yes please.

Jockstars : Ye round first beeg ears.

Kayo : Tight bustard ! (as he purchases two pints of frothy dark ales).

Bongo drums bang in the background ....

Fab. Love how you worked the duck and chang and ales in there, DJT.

Another scene

Spee: Mmm. Coconut collection party. Morning. Now, we will be on show as we go up to Bangkok, so let's not let the side down. You''ll all be hogtied and loaded into metal holders that just fit your bodysize and transported in the full day's sun of 100 degrees up to the big Mango. Keep the haul of coconuts over your left shoulders, and, if you keep your backs hard up against the husks...

Jai Dee: Ohhh, you bushwinker!

Spee: ...you'll be there in no time.

JacknDanny: Coconut party! (sings get down, get down from Kool and the Gang's Jungle Boogie)

Spee: Coconut party, load up! Forward!

Jamesyboi: Ohh. Ohh. Ohh. Oh. Oh. (fainting from weight of coconuts trying to board truck)

Moss Finn, innocent bystander: Let me shoulder your burden, brother.

Jamesyboi: Oh, thank you.

Spee: Oiy! What d'you think you're doing?

Moss Finn: Ah, helping the lad, they're not my coconuts.

Spee: Shut up! Those are your nuts and get up on the truck with ya.

Moss Finn: But I was just helping the boy out with his load, I am not to be trussed up!

Jamesyboi: Thanks and good luck, Sir! (waves bye bye)

Wolfie: Ah, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. He got you there, mate. Didn't he? That'll teach you a lesson for being nice. Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo!

***

Another scene

Spee: Mmm. Coconut collection party. Morning. Now, we will be on show as we go up to Bangkok, so let's not let the side down. You''ll all be hogtied and loaded into metal holders that just fit your bodysize and transported in the full day's sun of 100 degrees up to the big Mango. Keep the haul of coconuts over your left shoulders, and, if you keep your backs hard up against the husks...

Jai Dee: Ohhh, you bushwinker!

Spee: ...you'll be there in no time.

JacknDanny: Coconut party! (sings get down, get down from Kool and the Gang's Jungle Boogie)

Spee: Coconut party, load up! Forward!

Jamesyboi: Ohh. Ohh. Ohh. Oh. Oh. (fainting from weight of coconuts trying to board truck)

Moss Finn, innocent bystander: Let me shoulder your burden, brother.

Jamesyboi: Oh, thank you.

Spee: Oiy! What d'you think you're doing?

Moss Finn: Ah, helping the lad, they're not my coconuts.

Spee: Shut up! Those are your nuts and get up on the truck with ya.

Moss Finn: But I was just helping the boy out with his load, I am not to be trussed up!

Jamesyboi: Thanks and good luck, Sir! (waves bye bye)

Wolfie: Ah, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. He got you there, mate. Didn't he? That'll teach you a lesson for being nice. Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo!

***

Then The Duck makes an entrance, in yet another Character..

Mid: I'm not oppressing you. You haven't got a womb! Where's the foetus going to gestate?! You going to keep it in a box?!

Brilliant ..............

Hey, the credit is not mine: Most of this is lifted straight from the original script; I'm just reworking it into TV forum.

specifically the ' Casting Director ' ...........

Then The Duck makes an entrance, in yet another Character..

<deleted>, are you meeting the underground coconut truck in BKK? Now I gotta rewrite the necktie scene.

Then The Duck makes an entrance, in yet another Character..

<deleted>, are you meeting the underground coconut truck in BKK? Now I gotta rewrite the necktie scene.

Since Terence has found God Perhaps the Duck Could be the Bat Duck Villan..

Then The Duck makes an entrance, in yet another Character..

<deleted>, are you meeting the underground coconut truck in BKK? Now I gotta rewrite the necktie scene.

Since Terence has found God Perhaps the Duck Could be the Bat Duck Villan..

<deleted>, Terence IS the god in this movie.

So, no necktie then? How many personas you wanna play in this flick? I ain't gonna rewrite forever.

Then The Duck makes an entrance, in yet another Character..

<deleted>, are you meeting the underground coconut truck in BKK? Now I gotta rewrite the necktie scene.

Since Terence has found God Perhaps the Duck Could be the Bat Duck Villan..

where do you get all these pics from ?

I Was Cute as a Baby...

Well i think the theme tune would def be from Benny Hill, looking at the scripts

Here's a good scene http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmkL-glgyQo

Who is going to be cast as the baldy and the waiter?

Jet and NovRain, i think it's obvious which parts your'e having

I think we can also be assured as to who get's which of the parts, in prison

Nice BJ. I am just posting possible scenarios as obviously, Khall is the executive producer and director. I think she is just letting us play with scenarios and cast selections before she makes a decision.

Then The Duck makes an entrance, in yet another Character..

<deleted>, are you meeting the underground coconut truck in BKK? Now I gotta rewrite the necktie scene.

Since Terence has found God Perhaps the Duck Could be the Bat Duck Villan..

<deleted>, Terence IS the god in this movie.

So, no necktie then? How many personas you wanna play in this flick? I ain't gonna rewrite forever.

hey jet,

you just keep scripting me into this block buster, as im going to pull the " TV OSCAR" for sure.

cricky's mate,

i might be a reverend, but this fillum is a 125% <deleted>, cracking top peace of work and will surely make the big screen. :D

i'll bet my back bottom on that one.

the cheques in the mail.

the reverend.

terence.

loving your work duck.

Okay, so we're following the life of the Reverend Terence, the world's foremost evangelist on LOS and positivity, through his early days as a snake charmer on K.P and the period when he spoke in tongues (Crikey!) out his back bottom to the present day where he travels the LOS preaching to his flock of punters. It's bockbuster.

cricky's MR BIRTH,

you been following my career hav'nt you.

you keep this TOP bit of detective work up and i'll give you an extra big glass of wine at my next sermon at the parish " RAMBUTTRI "

my learned assistant " DAVID J TAYLER" will also give you an introduction to his special alter girls, the "THE KATOEY FIVE "

cricky's mate,

that could be interesting.

anyway,

the extremely reverend

terence of rambuttri.

Well i think the theme tune would def be from Benny Hill, looking at the scripts

Here's a good scene http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmkL-glgyQo

Jet and NovRain, i think it's obvious which parts your'e having

I'm confoooosed.... Jet's obviously the policeman, but am I the big cellmate or the dog???

Nice BJ.

Have I missed something?

I have not looked athis thread for a 24 hour period and look what's happened!?! Very funny 'Life of Terence' evolution. Have we mentioned the Donz yet? He could be the Roman soldier correcting the Latin grammer for 'Farangs go home' - now that would be ironic!!!

It says 'Farangs they go the house'!!!

Well i think the theme tune would def be from Benny Hill, looking at the scripts

Here's a good scene http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmkL-glgyQo

Jet and NovRain, i think it's obvious which parts your'e having

I'm confoooosed.... Jet's obviously the policeman, but am I the big cellmate or the dog???

Um, I'm Terence's mother, you are the sweet lass Judith (first sitting in the forum in the original script) and a member of Bad Farang Out Front of Thailand.

MiG is quite demanding about her role and her trailer and her lush accommodations. Even wants a pallaquin. Colours just so. Fan bearers.

Oh, txs, BJ, just watched the Benny clip.

Oh, I get yer point now, NR; yea I sure couldn't be one of the chickies. 555

Could it Be a Western ????