Mia Farang

[villagefarang]

1 hour ago, Tomahawk21 said:

i would goes as far as to say most people around the world meet some how over the internet.  how did you meet your wife then ?

In ancient times, before the advent of the internet, people met while going about their daily lives.  Simple things like going to school, or work, hobbies, sports, clubs, associations or social gatherings like weddings and funerals.  My wife happened to live nearby and watched me come and go for over a year.  She would see my car covered and unmoved for extended periods of time and wondered where I went.  Eventually our paths crossed in the presence of a mutual friend, we were introduced and we started talking over the telephone, no cellphone or online chat yet.  I was kind of turned on by how much she knew about me and how long she had been watching.  The one thing she didn't know was that I spoke Thai.  She wondered if she had known, whether she would have been so shy.

Edited April 8, 2019 by villagefarang

[NanLaew]

11 hours ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

Second time was when a middle aged sweaty fat thing working at the local market asked my gf if i had any single relatives ?
I replied, via the gf, that my father was single but 89 years old, she looked interested and said something about her wanting to be a Mia Farang.

Indeed. Why sweat the petty things when you can pet the sweaty things. eh?

[villagefarang]

4 hours ago, GalaxyMan said:

It only happens when we go out to a local-type of restaurant or bar outside of our normal area where we are known. She says that they talk down to her, treat her with contempt in the way that they speak, make it clear what they think of her. She always refuses to allow me to leave a tip in these type of places. We've learned to spot it early on and not order, just leave and find someplace else where they aren't so rude.

I have tried to advise friends visiting Bangkok with their Thai wives not to stay in hotels near the red light areas.  Restaurant staff and taxi drivers are more apt to refer to their husbands as customers or make other derogatory assumptions in places where that kind of relationship is the norm.  One can grow a thick skin or one can simply avoid those kinds of places and people.  Sadly they never listen to me.

[Lacessit]

12 hours ago, Neeranam said:

I really see no point in getting married if you don't have kids.

I really see no point in getting married, period.

[villagefarang]

13 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

I really see no point in getting married, period.

I felt that way for more than 40 years but I changed my mind.  I love being married to my wife.????????

[GalaxyMan]

15 hours ago, villagefarang said:

I knew many girls who would come over to the apartment but didn’t really want to be seen in public with me.  That way they could have a secret life and maintain their good reputation with friends and family.

The first 6 months that my GF was with me, she would NOT walk down Walking Street in Maenam with me, as she would be seen and people would talk. She has lived in Maenam for 12 years and is very well known. It was only after time had passed and she knew that I wasn't just the typical farang that she relaxed about it, though it took well over a year before she would hold my hand in public. We knew each other for a couple of months before she consented to go out with me and then it was very sterile, formal Thai courting rules, until she trusted me more, was certain that I respected her as a person. She even dropped a couple of 'friends' who jealously spread malicious rumours -- total lies -- about the two of us on Facebook. She read them the riot act and cut them cold.

[Lacessit]

3 minutes ago, villagefarang said:

I felt that way for more than 40 years but I changed my mind.  I love being married to my wife.????????

Tried marriage once. I love my GF. However, under Centrelink rules marriage to her would result in my part pension being cut by 10,000 baht/month. Everyone's circumstances are different.

[Lacessit]

3 minutes ago, GalaxyMan said:

The first 6 months that my GF was with me, she would NOT walk down Walking Street in Maenam with me, as she would be seen and people would talk. She has lived in Maenam for 12 years and is very well known. It was only after time had passed and she knew that I wasn't just the typical farang that she relaxed about it, though it took well over a year before she would hold my hand in public. We knew each other for a couple of months before she consented to go out with me and then it was very sterile, formal Thai courting rules, until she trusted me more, was certain that I respected her as a person. She even dropped a couple of 'friends' who jealously spread malicious rumours -- total lies -- about the two of us on Facebook. She read them the riot act and cut them cold.

Thais are very conservative when it comes to public displays of affection. They more than make up for it behind closed doors, in my experience.

[ballpoint]

35 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

I really see no point in getting married, period.

For the majority of countries in the world, marriage is the only way to make a relationship official.  Try applying for a long term expat position and, firstly, getting the appropriate remuneration for a non single person made part of the package, and secondly, trying to bring your partner with you, without a wedding certificate.  Alternately, try bringing your partner to your own country in the long term, or even just a tourist visa for many cases, without the same.  Of course, you may choose not to be in any long term relationship, each to their own, but for anyone who is, (unless it has already soured for some reason), would you really be so callous as to abandon the person you spent so much time with should you leave Thailand?  I am not planning on permanently leaving any time soon, however, my wife and I have taken expat assignments in various countries, and one would be foolish to not have some sort of 'escape' plan from Thailand in case it is needed, but no way would I consider doing so if it meant leaving the person who has shared my life as a partner, friend and confidant for close to 30 years behind. 

 

As for the mia farang business, imagine what it was like back in the early 90's, when there were fewer visible mixed relationships.  My wife was, and is, mature enough to ignore any background chatter and gossip.  Far more so, it would seem, than many posters here. 

[GalaxyMan]

1 hour ago, Lacessit said:

Thais are very conservative when it comes to public displays of affection. They more than make up for it behind closed doors, in my experience.

I know, which is why it constantly blows my mind when she is affectionate in public. I would never presume to be so, knowing how things are.

[totally thaied up]

2 hours ago, villagefarang said:

I felt that way for more than 40 years but I changed my mind.  I love being married to my wife.????????

I lose 4,500 baht a month being married to my wife due to lose of pension but I will gain in the future the fact she can gain PR and later if wished, Citizenship and that will far outweigh the monetary loss I have taken.

 

Marriage is worth it.

Edited April 8, 2019 by totally thaied up

[totally thaied up]

1 hour ago, ballpoint said:

Alternately, try bringing your partner to your own country in the long term, or even just a tourist visa for many cases, without the same.

Took me just five days to get a tourist visa for Australia. That Wedding certificate is very handy. Will take a bit of time to get PR, but like you say, you need a plan B because if I ever have to leave Thailand, my wife will be coming with me.

 

I also concur not to stay near the read light districts. Even in Australia on our current holiday, I recently had a meal at a pub with some old friends and I had to explain in front of my wife to them, she did not come from a bar. Stereotyping is rife once you say she is Thai (worse in fact if Filipino) as most my mates have been to Asia and know what is on offer. My wife has to put up with the stigma of what others have done so being called a Mia Farang is the least of her worries.

 

Stereotying and racism is alive and well in Australia but at least we can be open and that is one thing I miss about not living at home. Most my mates want me to move home as they think I have gone backwards living in Asia but each to their own thoughts. It has been and interesting experiment going home and the fact my wife loved it, just made me love her more.

[Neeranam]

4 hours ago, Lacessit said:

I really see no point in getting married, period.

Its beneficial for your kids.

[mikosan]

On 4/7/2019 at 5:08 AM, fusion58 said:

Such stigmas persist even as they pedestal half-Thai, half-farang soap stars and “pretties.” Sometimes I wonder how their heads don’t explode from the cognitive dissonance.

Are you a psychologist?

[Kenny202]

Volumes are written on these pages about the word Farang and how offended some are by its mere utterance in their presence.  I wonder if anyone ever gives any thought to the title Mia Farang which we bestow upon our wives by simply being in their lives and how it affects them?  Have you ever asked your wife how she feels about being married to a foreigner and how it has affected her life?  What comes to mind when she hears the title Mia Farang, does it bother her and does she use it herself to refer to other women married to Farangs.

 

The wives I have talked with, invariably have something to say on the subject but that it has never been a topic of discussion with their husbands.  I can think of several reasons why this might be the case and I have several thoughts and stories to relate about this topic but I would like to get a few responses untainted by my opinions.  I am hopeful that mixed in with the one-liners, insults and dismissive comments there might be a few thoughtful musings about the term Mia Farang from some caring husbands.  If you have no thoughts on the subject try asking your wife.

I think generally mia farang is viewed as a positive status by most thais.

When I hear the phrase I envision a dark squawking women in tight slacks and tottering on high shoes with a LV bag.

Thais dont mean anything derigatory by farang or mia farang. It is what it is....foreigners wife

Sent from my SM-J730GM using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[richard_smith237]

Maybe... If they are paid a salary, they are Mia Farang.... 

 

Otherwise, just like anywhere else in the world they are just Mia / Wife’s without the classification... 

 

 

 Join threads with the ‘Paying Thai Girlfriend a “Salary” thread...

 

[Pharoticus]

1 hour ago, richard_smith237 said:

Maybe... If they are paid a salary, they are Mia Farang.... 

 

If they're bought and paid for, taken out of the workplace and jobless, live in a house paid for by the farang, own numerous other assets funded by the farang, they are Mia Farang.

 

Otherwise, they're generally normal, hardworking, career-oriented Thai women who happen to have farang husbands. 

 

Crap women [no initiative, no ambition, no talent in the workplace] will often quit their jobs when married to a farang. The talented and ambitious won't. 

 

Much of it boils down to career. If a high court judge marries a farang, she won't quit her job and will never be addressed by Thais as a "Mia Farang".

 

It's a no-brainer. 

 

  

[Neeranam]

13 hours ago, Pharoticus said:

Much of it boils down to career. If a high court judge marries a farang, she won't quit her job and will never be addressed by Thais as a "Mia Farang".

I think there's a good chance that she would be referred to as that.

 

Job has nothing to do with it.

[Number 6]

In thirty years in and out of the country, I've never heard the term. No relative has used it, no friend has used it.

 

My wife has 250k in the bank more.

 

A dozen international trips which she loves. She could speak zero English when she met me. She's actually been taken on trips by Thai friends free did not even need plan it only to translate and smooth issues.

 

Her (our) flat is a tiny bit larger. Her monthly expenses for rent, utilities, laundry service 0thb. Our hours are staggered so we only spend quality time together. For now, perfect location it works.

 

As I age and willing to free more money up, her life in turn gets better.

 

She has love and someone to grow old with, do his best to leave her something.

 

I was never a free ride. I always made clear she was to work until 55 unless I could afford her to stop. She's not going to retire ten years before me!

 

Given not much to her family, 200k in 8 years. Sin sod, gifts, funerals, computers and uniforms for niece's university. Again, I'm no ATM and made that perfectly clear.

 

I never refer to my wife as fan or miss but panlayah.

 

Edited April 9, 2019 by Number 6

[villagefarang]

I find all this talk about work, making your wife work and not spending any money on your wife's happiness, health and education pretty depressing.  My father supported my mother and I have no qualms about supporting my wife.  It is about love and companionship.  It is not a financial transaction, in my opinion.  She can volunteer from time to time if it makes her happy but work is out of the question.????????

 

If I couldn't support my wife, I never would have gotten married in the first place.

Edited April 9, 2019 by villagefarang

[Mavideol]

19 minutes ago, villagefarang said:

I find all this talk about work, making your wife work and not spending any money on your wife's happiness, health and education pretty depressing.  My father supported my mother and I have no qualms about supporting my wife.  It is about love and companionship.  It is not a financial transaction, in my opinion.  She can volunteer from time to time if it makes her happy but work is out of the question.????????

 

If I couldn't support my wife, I never would have gotten married in the first place.

enlighten me please, do you mean your father gave a salary to your mother, and here I thought love didn't have a price, I do know companionship does have a price thus companionship = financial agreement

[villagefarang]

I will not dignify your remark with an explanation.????

[GarryP]

19 hours ago, Pharoticus said:

If they're bought and paid for, taken out of the workplace and jobless, live in a house paid for by the farang, own numerous other assets funded by the farang, they are Mia Farang.

 

Otherwise, they're generally normal, hardworking, career-oriented Thai women who happen to have farang husbands. 

 

Crap women [no initiative, no ambition, no talent in the workplace] will often quit their jobs when married to a farang. The talented and ambitious won't. 

 

Much of it boils down to career. If a high court judge marries a farang, she won't quit her job and will never be addressed by Thais as a "Mia Farang".

 

It's a no-brainer. 

 

  

So I take it you would never deign to marry someone without a degree or a blue collar worker. Someone who has very little chance of career advancement. And you would look down on them even if it was their husband who requested they stop working because he is earning more than enough to support them both, such that she needn't work 12 hour shifts, 6 days a week for Baht 12,000. How would that be different if the husband were Thai? 

 

You are inferring they are bought. So were our grandmothers or great grandmothers bought by their husbands too? You know what a bought woman is, I assume. 

 

BTW, whether the wife is or was a cleaner, a waitress, a manager, a director or a Supreme Court judge, they are all mia farang and will be referred to as such from time to time by some of their acquaintances, but not to their faces. 

[CharlieH]

A relationship between two people takes work, you find a kind of "magic" formula, and whatever it may be, if it works, you are both happy together, no one has any right to judge how you got there. Its a very personal thing between the two of you with the result being a happy relationship/marriage. It doesnt need nor warrant an autopsy. IMHO.

[totally thaied up]

17 hours ago, GarryP said:

whether the wife is or was a cleaner, a waitress, a manager, a director or a Supreme Court judge, they are all mia farang and will be referred to as such from time to time by some of their acquaintances, but not to their faces. 

It depends on the person. I know my wife does not give a rats what others say behind her back but other people do. Loss of Face for many is a big thing and I have seen husbands beaten up by the wife over such loss.

 

20 hours ago, Mavideol said:

enlighten me please, do you mean your father gave a salary to your mother, and here I thought love didn't have a price, I do know companionship does have a price thus companionship = financial agreement

You marry someone and both of you take on the burden. I am currently on holidays home and took my wife. I am looking after her the same as she looks after me in Thailand. There is very little difference and a financial agreement is never spoke of. What is mine is hers and what is hers, is mine. It is a even wicket if you are in a normal relationship. That’s the difference being a normal relationship.

[GinBoy2]

On 4/10/2019 at 1:51 AM, totally thaied up said:

It depends on the person. I know my wife does not give a rats what others say behind her back but other people do. Loss of Face for many is a big thing and I have seen husbands beaten up by the wife over such loss.

 

You marry someone and both of you take on the burden. I am currently on holidays home and took my wife. I am looking after her the same as she looks after me in Thailand. There is very little difference and a financial agreement is never spoke of. What is mine is hers and what is hers, is mine. It is a even wicket if you are in a normal relationship. That’s the difference being a normal relationship.

Thing is, there are two 'generally' types of Farang/Thai relationships, which tends to muddy the water.

 

The farang takes the bar girl outta the bar, that is almost always a financial transaction, not always, but often

 

Others, including myself, just meet in the usual way, through work, mutual friends etc. That tends to be more stable and less financially based.

 

Now the other stigma that crops up when you take a Thai wife back home is age. 

 

My wife is almost the same age as me, so we look like a regular couple. Big age difference, that's when the rolling eyes happen, and 'mail order bride' comments kick in

 

 

[StreetCowboy]

1 hour ago, GinBoy2 said:

...Big age difference, that's when the rolling eyes happen, and 'mail order bride' comments kick in

Especially if you are married.

[GinBoy2]

1 minute ago, StreetCowboy said:

Especially if you are married.

Indeed!

[Cat ji]

Quote

Some wives will travel overseas and feel they are treated badly in this present atmosphere of anti immigrant feeling. 

 

Means USA.

[Pharoticus]

On 4/9/2019 at 9:37 PM, GarryP said:

So I take it you would never deign to marry someone without a degree or a blue collar worker. Someone who has very little chance of career advancement. And you would look down on them even if it was their husband who requested they stop working because he is earning more than enough to support them both, such that she needn't work 12 hour shifts, 6 days a week for Baht 12,000. How would that be different if the husband were Thai? 

 

You are inferring they are bought. So were our grandmothers or great grandmothers bought by their husbands too? You know what a bought woman is, I assume. 

 

BTW, whether the wife is or was a cleaner, a waitress, a manager, a director or a Supreme Court judge, they are all mia farang and will be referred to as such from time to time by some of their acquaintances, but not to their faces. 

You talk about our grandmothers and great grandmothers. Yes, you're right. But hopefully you and I are not Edwardian or Victorian dinosaurs. Times have changed, and you and I have moved with them. Pity the poor fools who haven't.

 

These days women get to vote. The workplace has opened up. Women now have opportunities. They can have fantastic careers and achieve great things. Did you know that women even get to become Prime Minister?

 

Unless you're insecure, socially inadequate or a fossilized dinosaur, you will support your wife. In this context the word 'support' means support.

 

Our fathers, grandfathers and great grandfathers also supported their wives. And so do the dinosaurs here in Thailand. But in this context the word 'support' means money. 

 

Any doubts? Let's meet some modern Thai women. Elsewhere in this Pub section is some blurb about Pepsi's new drink and the company's marketing manager, Laddawan Lertwasin. And here she is.

 

 

There's also some blurb in the Thailand news section about Dunkin' Donuts and their re-branding efforts. Here is the MD of Thailand's concession, Golden Donuts. Her name is Nobklao Trakoolpan.

 

 

   

If our fathers, grandfathers or great grandfathers were to date these women, they might offer support. And the women would be disgusted. They'd hate the suggestion that they could be bought and paid for; they'd be appalled at how little respect the men had for their careers and achievements. 

 

If I were to date these women I too would volunteer support. And the women would respect me for it. 

 

I won't continue as I think most of this forum's dinosaurs don't have a clue what I'm talking about. 

 

Suffice to say, if your little woman is bought and paid for, she isn't a proper wife. She's just a little pet who cooks your dinner and opens her legs on demand. And she'll most certainly be viewed as a Mia Farang.