Mia Farang

[villagefarang]

Volumes are written on these pages about the word Farang and how offended some are by its mere utterance in their presence.  I wonder if anyone ever gives any thought to the title Mia Farang which we bestow upon our wives by simply being in their lives and how it affects them?  Have you ever asked your wife how she feels about being married to a foreigner and how it has affected her life?  What comes to mind when she hears the title Mia Farang, does it bother her and does she use it herself to refer to other women married to Farangs.

 

The wives I have talked with, invariably have something to say on the subject but that it has never been a topic of discussion with their husbands.  I can think of several reasons why this might be the case and I have several thoughts and stories to relate about this topic but I would like to get a few responses untainted by my opinions.  I am hopeful that mixed in with the one-liners, insults and dismissive comments there might be a few thoughtful musings about the term Mia Farang from some caring husbands.  If you have no thoughts on the subject try asking your wife.

[Mavideol]

mine never mentions it and as long the ATM keeps working all is well, she said "Mia Farang or not Mia Farang" call it as you want, it's all same same

[CharlieH]

The main comment from my wife was she objected to some people who immediately thought of her as someone who must have worked in a bar ! 

I think it is assumed (obviously wrong) in rural areas that this is the only way women could have met a Farang.

As I dont drink and dont frequent bars that in reality would have been highly unlikely.

 

But, as she says "up to them".

[rumak]

asked my significant other and she says she is "very happy"  that people call her mia farang .   for her she does not think thais are looking down on her when they say that.

the bad phrase would be if someone referred to ones wife as a  mia chow.  very bad.  no one has ever called her that.

[brokenbone]

the ones i had said they felt filled up but left penniless

when compared to viable alternatives.

ymmv

[Puwa]

For a laugh, or a cry, check out the many Mia Farang videos on YouTube. You've been warned. 

[richard_smith237]

I don't think its impacted my Wife whatsoever... 

If someone referred to her as Mia-Farang I think she would consider it quite odd. 

 

It's instantly obvious when looking at my Wife that she is not from a bar or lower socio-economic background (some readers may dislike that phrase, but thats just the way it is here, for the initiated its easy to tell)...

 

Thus, she's spoken to and treated in exactly manner whether I am with her or not...   

 

If anything... I am treated more favorably by Thai's after they have met my Wife... perhaps because they more readily place me in the social pecking order by proxy - I imagine many who are married to respectful Thai ladies experience the same (again.... some readers may dislike this, but thats just the way it is here, again, for the initiated its easy to tell !).... 

 

Thus, I don't know if the term Mia-Farang is meant as a slur, but I can guess how its used and by which facet of society. 

 

[Kinnock]

My understanding is that it"s a phrase used by jealous friends who havn't managed to catch a decent Ferang husband yet.

 

My wife often jokes about 'looking like a Mia Felang today' when she looks at herself in the mirror just before we go out.

 

She means expensively dressed, nice watch, phone, etc.  When she bought herself a new car last year I heard say to the sales lady that she "really looks like Mia Ferang now" and they both laughed.

 

She's also joked that sometimes she looks like 'Mia Chow' when she's wearing short-shorts or a tight top.

 

Of course if your wife is the mythical Chinese-Thai business guru with her own yacht, a PhD and super rich parents, then she may see it as an insult, and at the other end of the spectrum if the Ferang is a penniless 'teacher' in an egg-stained Chang wife-beater vest and flip flops, then it may also be meant as derogatory term - but for most of us in the middle, with wives from a normal family and who have a normal job, it's a form of back-handed compliment from friends who are struggling financially and deeply in debt like 99% of the Thai population these days.

[rumak]

3 hours ago, richard_smith237 said:

Thus, I don't know if the term Mia-Farang is meant as a slur, but I can guess how its used and by which facet of society. 

so what exactly is your guess on those two points ?  enlighten us

[richard_smith237]

31 minutes ago, rumak said:

4 hours ago, richard_smith237 said:

Thus, I don't know if the term Mia-Farang is meant as a slur, but I can guess how its used and by which facet of society. 

so what exactly is your guess on those two points ?  enlighten us

Edited 27 minutes ago by rumak

 

No point getting into it... 'cos someones bound to respond with 'My Wife and all her friends are Pattaya ho's and they don't use the phrase'....

 

[fusion58]

17 hours ago, CharlieH said:

The main comment from my wife was she objected to some people who immediately thought of her as someone who must have worked in a bar ! 

Such stigmas persist even as they pedestal half-Thai, half-farang soap stars and “pretties.” Sometimes I wonder how their heads don’t explode from the cognitive dissonance.

[mstevens]

The term mia farang dates back to the GI days, or at least so I was once told. I don't know how the term was considered way back then but in years following it is my understanding is that it is generally a less than polite, and almost derogotary term back then. It didn't just mean that the Thai lady had married a foreigner, the perception was that they had met in a bar where she was available for money. At least that's how the term was once explained to me.

[rumak]

12 hours ago, richard_smith237 said:

they more readily place me in the social pecking order by proxy - I imagine many who are married to respectful Thai ladies experience the same (again.... some readers may dislike this, but thats just the way it is here, again, for the initiated its easy to tell !).... 

there is a "pecking order" in every society on earth.  to quote you "that is just the way it is. "  I never changed myself or chose someone else based on that pecking order.  The way I live my life and how I choose my friends or a companion are based solely on their heart and character.  Much more difficult than just finding people who will increase my standing in the pecking order.  

 

[Sakeopete]

Mia Farang translates to lottery winner.

[dotpoom]

My wife actually just called me while I was in the middle of reading this article. As we were hanging up I asked her if she knows the term... "Mia Farang"..."What" she asked.."Farang wife"?...."Yes", I said...."No,..why"...she asked. "Dunno" I said, somebody is suggesting (I think) that the wife doesn't like it...."WHY"...she belted out..."What wrong with it"?...."Dunno" ...I said...."Bah"...(crazy)...she said....and we hung up.?

[Quack]

Actually most Thais use the phrase "madam" not "Mia farang", and it can have both negative and positive connotations, depends on the context. In most cases, at least with my wife, it's just used as a way of taking the piss out of her, friendly banter if you like. 

[BarnicaleBob]

My wire says that it is a matter of the tone of voice when used.  It can be insulting or just an acknowledgement depending of inflection.

 

[WebGuy]

My palaya says she would never do this if she could go to the past ????

[rumak]

16 hours ago, Kinnock said:

My wife often jokes about 'looking like a Mia Felang today' when she looks at herself in the mirror just before we go out.

people can go on all they like about how important it is for a woman to be well-educated,  from a good socioeconomic background,  etc.         Just give me a sweet woman with a sense of humor any day !       I can picture farang kinnock and mia farang enjoying some good som tam together 

 

[1FinickyOne]

i have been with my wife nearly 20 years and do not recall hearing the term. I do remember a first visit to the village and an old lady giving her a thumbs up when she saw me. 

 

my family relations over the years have all been positive and sharing. and the family does not refer to me as farang.. I am khun kenk24

[villagefarang]

Thanks for your comments so far.  There is no right or wrong response and people can have very different experiences in Thailand so there is no point in trying to argue one is more relevant than another.  Besides, Thais are generally much more stoic about labels than posters on ThaiVisa tend to be and the slights and snubs usually much more subtle than one might experience in the West.  A lot will depend on ones starting point in Thai society, as to whether Mia Farang is a putdown or a point of honor.

 

Some wives will travel overseas and feel they are treated badly in this present atmosphere of anti immigrant feeling.  Others may travel to an area where they are barely noticed or commented on.  For example, in Hawaii my wife was all but invisible and not seen as different.  Some will unfortunately understand the negative comments about Thais they overhear their husband's friends make while others will not.  Some will feel it more than others but Thai wives are invariably squeezed between the expectations of their family and culture, and those of their husband and his cultural bias.

 

If your world revolves around interaction with other Thai/Farang couples your experience may differ from those who socialize in a more mainstream Thai environment.  Most families seem to have a bad apple or two and if you happen to be the only one in the extended family married to a foreigner there is a good chance you will get singled out for special attention from those difficult or demanding individuals. 

 

In my wife’s interactions with organizations, clubs, seminars, classes or charities I notice she doesn’t lead with the fact she has a foreign husband.  She doesn’t hide it but prefers to be judged first for who she is, not who she is married to.  I find my first interactions with these people can be quite entertaining as I am nothing like what they expect.  I enjoy the banter and completely upending their preconceptions of Farangs.

 

I have never been particularly fond of the type of Thai female who actively pursues Farang companionship.  Whether they have worked in the nightlife or not, I find irrelevant.  So many of them are motivated by the same things and lack the social graces I find so attractive.  The Thai wives I tend to like the most, are those who were not interested in foreigners but just happened to fall in love with one.  They come across as much more genuine to me.  I suppose that is one reason I don’t seek out groups of Farangs or mixed couples for companionship.  I don’t like being grouped in with people I don’t necessarily agree with or have much in common with.

[Longcut]

All anyone ever says to my wife is, "how can I get a Farang husband too".

[GalaxyMan]

Mine gets furious when Thais treat her like a bargirl, especially being an educated professional, just because she's with a farang.

[GalaxyMan]

54 minutes ago, villagefarang said:

The Thai wives I tend to like the most, are those who were not interested in foreigners but just happened to fall in love with one.

Yep! Lucky me! ????

[sawadee1947]

Well, my wife knows now what it means if it comes to describe difference between Thai and farangs admiring "big" instead of "tiny". 

[ifmu]

4 hours ago, dotpoom said:

My wife actually just called me while I was in the middle of reading this article. As we were hanging up I asked her if she knows the term... "Mia Farang"..."What" she asked.."Farang wife"?...."Yes", I said...."No,..why"...she asked. "Dunno" I said, somebody is suggesting (I think) that the wife doesn't like it...."WHY"...she belted out..."What wrong with it"?...."Dunno" ...I said...."Bah"...(crazy)...she said....and we hung up.?

i can actually see you in that conversation .haha.. stuttering  and trying to not be mean ...  good luck

[55Jay]

Never heard that term before.  Never heard anyone use it within ear shot, although I suspect the small brain retards out in the village probably would.  Closest I heard was years ago when we bought another big water tank in the city.  Miserable looking Thai guy with a fat wife and 2 kids in his beat up pick up truck arrived.  The wife sat in the truck ranting in Thai.  After they left, wife said she was banging on about "See, this is the kind of big house you get if you marry a farang!". 

[kevvy]

3 hours ago, villagefarang said:

Thanks for your comments so far.  There is no right or wrong response and people can have very different experiences in Thailand so there is no point in trying to argue one is more relevant than another.  Besides, Thais are generally much more stoic about labels than posters on ThaiVisa tend to be and the slights and snubs usually much more subtle than one might experience in the West.  A lot will depend on ones starting point in Thai society, as to whether Mia Farang is a putdown or a point of honor.

 

Some wives will travel overseas and feel they are treated badly in this present atmosphere of anti immigrant feeling.  Others may travel to an area where they are barely noticed or commented on.  For example, in Hawaii my wife was all but invisible and not seen as different.  Some will unfortunately understand the negative comments about Thais they overhear their husband's friends make while others will not.  Some will feel it more than others but Thai wives are invariably squeezed between the expectations of their family and culture, and those of their husband and his cultural bias.

 

If your world revolves around interaction with other Thai/Farang couples your experience may differ from those who socialize in a more mainstream Thai environment.  Most families seem to have a bad apple or two and if you happen to be the only one in the extended family married to a foreigner there is a good chance you will get singled out for special attention from those difficult or demanding individuals. 

 

In my wife’s interactions with organizations, clubs, seminars, classes or charities I notice she doesn’t lead with the fact she has a foreign husband.  She doesn’t hide it but prefers to be judged first for who she is, not who she is married to.  I find my first interactions with these people can be quite entertaining as I am nothing like what they expect.  I enjoy the banter and completely upending their preconceptions of Farangs.

 

I have never been particularly fond of the type of Thai female who actively pursues Farang companionship.  Whether they have worked in the nightlife or not, I find irrelevant.  So many of them are motivated by the same things and lack the social graces I find so attractive.  The Thai wives I tend to like the most, are those who were not interested in foreigners but just happened to fall in love with one.  They come across as much more genuine to me.  I suppose that is one reason I don’t seek out groups of Farangs or mixed couples for companionship.  I don’t like being grouped in with people I don’t necessarily agree with or have much in common with. 

I don’t like being grouped in with people I don’t necessarily agree with or have much in common with.

You are talking about the have nots ..As you have quoted before .

[villagefarang]

3 hours ago, Longcut said:

All anyone ever says to my wife is, "how can I get a Farang husband too".

I have been on the receiving end of that question many times.  Sometimes it is best to just treat it as a joke and move on.  Giving sufficient time and the right circumstances it can be entertaining to go into a much deeper discussion of the topic.  Typically they have never really thought about why a Farang might be interested in them.  All they are concerned with is what they want.  In that respect they are really not too different from men who are seeking a Thai wife.  When both sides are objectifying each other, it is a recipe for disaster in my opinion.

[villagefarang]

5 hours ago, Quack said:

Actually most Thais use the phrase "madam" not "Mia farang", and it can have both negative and positive connotations, depends on the context. In most cases, at least with my wife, it's just used as a way of taking the piss out of her, friendly banter if you like. 

Madam is often used when addressing a woman married to a Farang while Mia Farang is more often use when gossiping about someone.  As you say, it can also be used in jest, self-deprecation and friendly banter.