Thai relationships

[villagefarang]

Unlike most, I stayed single through my twenties and thirties, not getting married until I was in my forties and ready.  We have a twenty year age difference and have been together for twenty two years now.  I had a great time being single back then but I sure wouldn't want to live that life now, in my sixties.  Being in love and having someone to share an active life with is hard to beat, especially at this time of my life.  We are both athletic and her relative youth keeps me inspired and motivated to keep up.????‍♂️????️‍♂️????‍♂️????

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, bert bloggs said:

love it more every day , we are friends and partners . mind you i feel its not worth posting any more ,there are so many losers on here that seem to not really like or trust Thai women ,why do they live or come here?

Sounds good. Sometimes when I read posts about so called successful relationships it reads like it's technically ok but that about it. Good that you love it!

 

Yes, I agree there are some losers here who think because they picked the wrong women all of them much be bad. That is obviously not true. But it seems like many of us have a talent to chose the wrong woman and basically we should know it from the beginning. But often it takes some more time to realize the situation is not what we hoped it to be.

I guess that is part of human nature - especially in Thailand.

[bert bloggs]

On 4/30/2019 at 9:23 AM, OneMoreFarang said:

Sounds good. Sometimes when I read posts about so called successful relationships it reads like it's technically ok but that about it. Good that you love it!

 

Yes, I agree there are some losers here who think because they picked the wrong women all of them much be bad. That is obviously not true. But it seems like many of us have a talent to chose the wrong woman and basically we should know it from the beginning. But often it takes some more time to realize the situation is not what we hoped it to be.

I guess that is part of human nature - especially in Thailand.

I think the main problem ,is that like anything you do ,you cant rush into it ,if you are here for long periods you can get to meet ordinary Thai women ,unfortunatly so many come for short periods only really get to meet bar girls and hook up with them ,many are good ,but never forget ,its a job ,just like any other ,and what do yo work for? yup to make money , The first time i ever came  i did not have a clue what Pattaya was like ,but i met a guy and he warned me , most of the girls you meet are just looking to marry and get money ,steer clear ,one night only ,then move on . i was lucky i met him ,as i fell in love with every pretty bar girl i rogered , but ,i moved on ,lol,it was only years later in BKK that i had some business and met my now wife ,never moved on ,but it gets better every day

[BritManToo]

20 minutes ago, bert bloggs said:

I think the main problem ,is that like anything you do ,you cant rush into it ,if you are here for long periods you can get to meet ordinary Thai women

Respectable Thai women aren't allowed to socialise with men, unless in the company of their parents.

And after that, they aren't allowed to socialise unless in the company of their husband.

If you're meeting them, they ain't the real deal.

Edited May 2, 2019 by BritManToo

[sidjameson]

On 4/29/2019 at 2:05 PM, Kenny202 said:

I find the older I get the less I want a steady relationship with a woman, Thai or otherwise. I can cook and clean and take care of myself just fine. I have a 3yo son also. I actually find it easier just living my son and me. Dinners cooked and cleaned up in about 30 mins. (No oil etc splashed up the walls and all over the floor). Housework to a minimum as I just don't make to much mess. I don't throw clothes on the floor after wearing them for 10 minutes etc. I love the feeling of waking up in the morning and not needing to consider what someone wants to eat or what they want to do today. I just find myself compromising my own happiness to please someone else. I often chuckle to myself when I think of the poor guys who buy into their relationships with dowries and homes for everyone. Huge money. All in many cases to saddle yourself with a woman who is next to useless and needs everything...including transport and entertainment. The women here who say they want farang....most would not have a chance with a Thai bloke unless the woman was supporting them. I've lived here for 5 years and I don't think I know of one case where a Thai bloke has saddled himself with someone else's kid / kids, extended families or issues. Many of us end up with the rejects, why Thai people think farang are stupid. 

 

I have had many relationships here and mostly they fall into two categories. An educated girl who has a career or professional job. Usually works 10 - 12 hours a day and 6 days a week. Meetings on days off etc. Then she needs time with her girlfriends, family etc. Means much of the time you are sitting around twiddling your thumbs, when you can be out chasing new tail. The other type of girl is one who has no work, usually can't drive....sits around all day and you become her sole means of transport, entertainment...everything. People who have nothing need everything. Neither relationship really makes sense to me. It's not like it's hard to find a GF here. Sex is a huge thing for me and lets face it usually after the first 2 weeks to 3 months the thrill is gone. Most of us older blokes have been to the mountain and a girl has to be pretty special to keep my interest for long. 

 

I don't see anything wrong with people who want a relationship and see value in that. It's just not for me. There is just too much choice here to put up with a girl who is anything less than stellar and if it's a relationship where the ledger is not even or anywhere near in your favour, I just don't see the benefits 

 

   

Hi Kenny, really enjoyed your post. 

Just curious, this lifestyle of yours sounds very appealing. Do you mind to say your age and monthly budget.  Just wondering if it could apply to me. Hahaha

[OneEyedPie]

On 4/30/2019 at 8:31 AM, villagefarang said:

Unlike most, I stayed single through my twenties and thirties, not getting married until I was in my forties and ready.  We have a twenty year age difference and have been together for twenty two years now.

The only difference is we're only ten years into our marriage otherwise verbatim.  I'm happy with my decision and sure my wife is too.

[madmen]

On 4/29/2019 at 9:33 PM, Khaeng Mak said:

The situations you have described I like to refer to as structural issues.  You can try to render over them to hide them or make them more pleasing to the eye but sooner or later they will cause your house of cards to collapse.

 

One of my first relationships here in Thailand was with a beautiful and smart young lawyer.  She was from a dirt poor family and had put herself through Chula on a scholarship. There was a huge gap in our ages but we got along just fine and had lots of fun together.  The problem was that three years into the relationship she wanted to have kids.  And the thing is that she deserved to have kids.  She had worked hard to pull herself out of poverty, get educated and secure a good job. Problem was that I didn't want any.

 

That is what a structural relationship problem looks like.  No amount of talking, listening, or dancing around the issue will resolve it.

 

We broke up.  It was not easy for either of us.  And the saddest part to this story is that she is now in her mid thirties and still searching for a decent guy with whom she can start a family with.

I can understand not having kids with a beautiful young BG but a lawyer? sounds like she is half your age too..get a freaking nanny dumbo they are a dime a dozen. 

So you feel good about her not finding a mate at 35 and how about you, how many lawyers you pulled now your 60-70?

[Kenny202]

10 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Respectable Thai women aren't allowed to socialise with men, unless in the company of their parents.

And after that, they aren't allowed to socialise unless in the company of their husband.

If you're meeting them, they ain't the real deal.

Thats just not true. May apply to a 16yo virgin or Bangkok high society girl. I have been out with tons of girls.... teachers, doctors, nurses etc 23+. Most had previous husbands or maybe a kid but there was never any conditions for a chapparone. They weren't pure village virgins but they were certainly what I would call respectable girls. Only the usual first date request to drag the whole family along for a free feed of MK which I never agree to and in fact shut down before the request is even made or ward off a surprise attack.

[BritManToo]

23 minutes ago, madmen said:

I can understand not having kids with a beautiful young BG but a lawyer? sounds like she is half your age too..get a freaking nanny dumbo they are a dime a dozen. 

So you feel good about her not finding a mate at 35 and how about you, how many lawyers you pulled now your 60-70?

The sex probably wasn't very frequent ........ all the 'good girls' seem to ration that out.

Tried the 'good girl' route with a Brit schoolteacher for 25 odd years, the love was real, but the sex was once a month if that.

Bargirl moved in and did it every night, a much more rewarding and real relationship IMHO.

You can have my share of the lawyers, and good luck to you with them.

[OneEyedPie]

10 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Respectable Thai women aren't allowed to socialise with men, unless in the company of their parents.

And after that, they aren't allowed to socialise unless in the company of their husband.

If you're meeting them, they ain't the real deal.

Not entirely true, to be honest.  Though, I did have a bit of a battle to get the parents' to allow me to fly my now wife down to BKK for the day when we were courting.  Once that was sorted out then it all panned out nicely.

[BritManToo]

8 minutes ago, Kenny202 said:

I have been out with tons of girls.... teachers, doctors, nurses etc 23+. Most had previous husbands or maybe a kid but there was never any conditions for a chapparone. They weren't pure village virgins but they were certainly what I would call respectable girls. 

Me too, they all appreciated the 1,000bht on the bedside table in the morning.

The nurses were always the dirtiest!

Edited May 2, 2019 by BritManToo

[OneEyedPie]

Just now, BritManToo said:

Me too, they all appreciated the 1,000bht on the bedside table in the morning.

You do come across as a sex tourist, BritManToo.  Not in a horrible way but don't think you appreciate the alternatives.  Good luck and glad you're happy with your lot.   

[BritManToo]

1 minute ago, OneEyedPie said:

You do come across as a sex tourist, BritManToo.  Not in a horrible way but don't think you appreciate the alternatives.  Good luck and glad you're happy with your lot.   

No I really do appreciate the alternatives ........ having sex once a month with a woman who loves me, then takes my house and kids when she leaves, no thanks.

[OneEyedPie]

Just now, BritManToo said:

No I really do appreciate the alternatives ........ having sex once a month with a woman who loves me, then takes my house and kids when she leaves, no thanks.

Bitterness does consume oneself if allowed to fester.  Chok dee.

[Isaanbiker]

On 4/29/2019 at 6:31 PM, richard_smith237 said:

Thats my take on it too....  But there are far too many guys around who don't want anything in common with a woman, they don't want an equal female companion - they want someone they can can screw and kick out, they have to pay for this privilege, they'll never understand 'the other side' because they either never encountered it, or were so badly burnt they forgot it....   They do not realize that people are different and their failures and not the same as others, just as we (in happy relationships) should realize that people are all different and those guys paying for something are also happy, it's their choice... 

 

There is no one size fits all...  Its just amusing when one side thinks they are right and uses flawed argument to justify their sexual habits when no one else really cares !... 

 

This will shortly be proven with a couple of inexplicable and weird posts made by a couple of prolific and somewhat misogynistic posters who continually seem to feel the need to repeatedly justify their behavior....

 

 

As much as I appreciate your post, but there's a One Size Fits All. And a pretty good one.

 

   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1s-wiGjHv8

 

[sanemax]

3 minutes ago, OneEyedPie said:

You do come across as a sex tourist, BritManToo.  Not in a horrible way but don't think you appreciate the alternatives.  Good luck and glad you're happy with your lot.   

I think that  I know exactly how many times hes had sex in his whole life , hes posted about every occasion on here 

[Isaanbiker]

1 minute ago, sanemax said:

I think that  I know exactly how many times hes had sex in his whole life , hes posted about every occasion on here 

   Can't you tell him to keep your little secrets for yourself then? 

[Lacessit]

My Thai GF is 23 years younger than me. We sometimes joke it's just as well we never met when she was 20 yo, as we would have killed each other with too much sex.

After two long term relationships with Western women, I have been with her for about 8 years now. She's the real deal in terms of commitment to me.

We spend two weeks together, and one week apart. That refreshes the relationship.

[Kenny202]

1 hour ago, sidjameson said:

Hi Kenny, really enjoyed your post. 

Just curious, this lifestyle of yours sounds very appealing. Do you mind to say your age and monthly budget.  Just wondering if it could apply to me. Hahaha

Im just turning 56yo. Monthly budget try to keep around 40k THB but often that blows out to 50k. I retired just before 50yo so I need to be careful with my money. I can't work here and no pension for me in the future so its going to have to spin out. If I was serious and a bit more disciplined I reckon I could easily live comfortably on under 40k, maybe 30k if I really had to. I rent a nice 3br house. Air con etc. I don't drink or go out to bars etc having a kid so probably a big saving to me. We eat like kings. I don't mind Thai food although I am tiring of it and farang food around me rubbish and expensive. I enjoy cooking and find the ingredients extremely cheap. For eg a couple of chicken breasts from Tesco under 40 baht. Made chicken schnitzels and enough for the next day too. Mushroom sauce, peas / corn and mash I reckon would have cost no more than 60 baht for the whole meal  and it was superb. Couple of pork loins (from Tops) done over charcoal, baked spud and cabbage. About the same cost. That sort of stuff. I don't mean to sound stingy, I'm not. I just marvel how cheap it is to eat so well here. It has definitely got more expensive to live here over the years but the major things....food, rent, internet very cheap. Fuel and electricity starting to become expensive. 

All of the stuff that is important for me I brought from home when I came. Tools, guitars, cooking gear, clothes. I always buy good quality, look after my stuff and consequently usually have it forever or for years. Still have most of my clothes from Australia so I don't want or need too much. TV have an Android box so entertainment galore. I bought new vehicles, furniture, fridge washing machines beds etc when I got here, and everything very good quality. Hopefully will outlast me.

 

I have seen guys scoffing at other blokes talking the same figures per month saying they struggle to live on under 120k THB. And don't get me wrong it's easy to do if you're not careful.

Like I said I'm careful, but definitely enjoy life and don't really want for anything. I was super materialistic back home but now realise food tastes just as good from a 50 baht porcelain bowl as a $1200 dinner set. I wish I had even half the money I threw away on useless crap in my life. But hey I've had all that stuff and don't want for it now. The only thing I wish I had more money for was travel (outside of Thailand) but having the young bloke not really much chance of that in the coming years anyway. I love living here and happy as, I despise the heat though, particularly this year and it may well mean I may not stay here long term if it continues.

 

As far as girls go....I received some very good advise from a guy here when I first arrived. He said you don't need a million dollars, but it certainly helps if you look like a million dollars ???? I certainly physically don't look like a million dollars but some nice clothes, a bit of gold and a nice watch goes a long way. They just assume your loaded and they're going to get some of it down the track. Give them nothing, take them nowhere, let them assume what they want. By the time they start to get needy and their friends are goading them asking why their new farang boyfriend hasn't bought them gold or showered them in new bags etc, will correspond with about the time you are tired of her and ready to move on. Tell her you think she's only after money and away you go. By the way, in my experience most girl here are at their very best for the first 2 weeks to 2 months. After that things go downhill. Always bare this in mind before making any rash life changing commitments. I had one was an angel for 2 years before the inner psycho showed itself. And then found out about the 3 other kids (to different blokes) I didn't know she had, the ex husbands, the village boyfriend etc. There are some great girls here if you are truly after a long term relationship but test the waters for a long time

Edited May 2, 2019 by Kenny202

[sanemax]

4 minutes ago, Isaanbiker said:

   Can't you tell him to keep your little secrets for yourself then? 

I have asked him numerous times , it got rather inappropriate when he stated that his girlfriend leaves their child in the creche at school , whilst she attends lessons .

What makes her about 16 and hes 63 

[OneEyedPie]

3 minutes ago, Kenny202 said:

By the time they start to get needy and their friends are goading them asking why their new farang boyfriend hasn't bought them gold or showered them in new bags etc, will correspond with about the time you are tired of her and ready to move on.

Very general but understand that's what you encounter in your circles.  I'm glad I met my wife without all the aforementioned nonsense you describe in your post.  

[Kenny202]

33 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

The sex probably wasn't very frequent ........ all the 'good girls' seem to ration that out.

Tried the 'good girl' route with a Brit schoolteacher for 25 odd years, the love was real, but the sex was once a month if that.

Bargirl moved in and did it every night, a much more rewarding and real relationship IMHO.

You can have my share of the lawyers, and good luck to you with them.

Funny you say that. I've only recently also realised this to be true. Definitely the best sex I have had here were with working girls or lower class girls. Freelancers definitely the best. Whether it was an act or not I don't care as long as they made me believe it. The good girls seems to view it more as a duty to be performed for the husband. One of the cruel ironies I have found in my life is that when you find a girl who is highly sexed it is great, but they don't usually make for very faithful partners.  

[Kenny202]

34 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Me too, they all appreciated the 1,000bht on the bedside table in the morning.

The nurses were always the dirtiest!

The nurses thing is true! hahaha, in fact was true back home too 5555

[Pravda]

As per my previous post I never gave my wife anything and after 5 years she decided to kick me out of her house. I assume it's all about the money. After a visa run to Savannakhet and her barely agreeing to sign the marriage Visa documents I'm back and not sure if I still want to stay. She has calmed down a little.

 

What's the point of this post? I don't know.

 

 

[Lacessit]

8 hours ago, Pravda said:

As per my previous post I never gave my wife anything and after 5 years she decided to kick me out of her house. I assume it's all about the money. After a visa run to Savannakhet and her barely agreeing to sign the marriage Visa documents I'm back and not sure if I still want to stay. She has calmed down a little.

 

What's the point of this post? I don't know.

 

 

What's the point of staying in the relationship? She's calmed down a little? Time to go before she decides to feed the ducks.

[bert bloggs]

22 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Respectable Thai women aren't allowed to socialise with men, unless in the company of their parents.

And after that, they aren't allowed to socialise unless in the company of their husband.

If you're meeting them, they ain't the real deal.

Not over sure about that ,but when i met my wife all those years ago ,her sister came to our office to check that i was what i said i was ,and i remember her young brother came on so many dates ,i lost count lol.

[FruitPudding]

I have been there, done that, and got the tshirt.

 

Won't be doing it again.

 

Dating is fine, though they start to test you with attitude pretty quickly here, even before the first date sometimes.

 

Sex buddy is ideal and can be found.

[Lacessit]

One of the saddest statements I have heard was a caddie at my local golf club. Average looks, good English, accomplished dressmaker. She said " I don't want to die alone ".

Mid-forties at a guess. May not be a sexpot; however, I'd say whoever took her on would get 100% commitment from her.

[BritManToo]

34 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

One of the saddest statements I have heard was a caddie at my local golf club. Average looks, good English, accomplished dressmaker. She said " I don't want to die alone ".

Mid-forties at a guess. May not be a sexpot; however, I'd say whoever took her on would get 100% commitment from her.

Is there really a market for an average looking uneducated mid-forties woman in Thailand?

I assume she isn't bringing a house or anything else useful to the table, probably a gaggle of kids hanging off her, not to mention 'good English' probably indicates shes been playing the 19th hole for a while.

Edited May 3, 2019 by BritManToo

[Kelsall]

On 5/2/2019 at 10:02 PM, Pravda said:

As per my previous post I never gave my wife anything and after 5 years she decided to kick me out of her house. I assume it's all about the money. After a visa run to Savannakhet and her barely agreeing to sign the marriage Visa documents I'm back and not sure if I still want to stay. She has calmed down a little.

 

What's the point of this post? I don't know.