Wife out of control

[animalmagic]

On ‎5‎/‎10‎/‎2019 at 2:15 AM, impulse said:

Get an attorney.  Ask him/her what to do to protect yourself, your assets and your sanity.

 

Any advice you get here has a high probability of being wrong/ making things worse.

 

Probably the best free advice you will ever get here!

[BestB]

Typical bi polar behaviour. Adding medication to her food may fix the problem as long As you find doctor willing to prescribe it without her knowledge.

 

alternative is lie and tell her medical is required to extend visa and have doctor check her out and then start adding meds into her food.

[BritManToo]

14 minutes ago, animalmagic said:

Probably the best free advice you will ever get here!

Not really as they don't have any 'attorney' in the UK.

And the legal advice in the UK is set in stone, 50% of everything you own with residence of the house (and you out) until it's sold and the money divided. If she manages to get pregnant, she will get the house outright and 15% of your salary for the next 20 years.

 

The UK ain't a place a man wants to get divorced.

Edited May 11, 2019 by BritManToo

[SenorJorge]

The worst part of it is that so many thai women you think aren't from the bar culture were previously.  They got older and stopped getting customers so it was back to the factories and offices with them.  So it's very hard to tell what kind of woman you are really dating.  And English ability isn't always a litmus test -lots of good Thai women speak good English from working in bangkok offices.  Lots of bar girls just didn't care to learn more than "you buy drink me?" And "3000 long time you honey". I love my wife but I wonder sometimes myself.  The harsh reality is if women in the west don't see you as a good catch then women here don't really either.  They're after something else about you - usually money or immigration.  I've been fooled once and divorced already.

[animalmagic]

1 minute ago, BritManToo said:

Not really as they don't have any 'attorney' in the UK.

I presumed the word 'attorney' can be used to cover the whole gamut of legal advice services.  Lawyer, solicitor, etc.  UK does have things that can be equated to an Attorney in legal services provided?

[BritManToo]

Just now, animalmagic said:

I presumed the word 'attorney' can be used to cover the whole gamut of legal advice services.  Lawyer, solicitor, etc.  UK does have things that can be equated to an Attorney in legal services provided?

You're assuming there's wiggle room in divorce settlements, which there may be in the USA, but usually aren't in the UK.

The judge has firm instructions on how to divide, and isn't allowed to depart from those rules.

No fault divorce.

[dotpoom]

On 5/10/2019 at 2:29 AM, sanemax said:

Maybe thats the problem ?

I don't agree.

  With a "normal" Thai lady ..it can have the opposite affect.

  Myself and "she who must be obeyed" (we never actually married) have been together about 12 years. I stopped making physical love to her about 6 years ago..(the reason not important).

   I casually asked her one day if her friends know this about us (I had observed how Thai ladies tell each other everything). Gleefully, she trumped up ..."Sure they do". I was a bit put out at this asked her why she discussed this with them. "I want them to know she said"..." Why" ...I asked. "Because now they Envy/jealous me"...she said. Again I asked "Why"...."Because, they know you not just want me for sex.. you must want me because you love me".

  Strangely enough...after our chat I felt good about it and glad they know.

I really apologize to the OP for drifting off the subject...and will include you in my prayers. 

PS...Myself, I have learned to hand my problems over to a higher power and so far I have never been let down...but as always ..."each to his own".

   GB. 

[animalmagic]

2 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

You're assuming there's wiggle room in divorce settlements, which there may be in the USA, but usually aren't in the UK.

The judge has firm instructions on how to divide, and isn't allowed to depart from those rules.

No fault divorce.

I'm actually assuming nothing.  I responded positively to the advice that he should seek proper legal advice on his predicament rather than use any of the varied and subjective advice on here.  The advisors in UK should be able to tell him exactly where he stands in terms of divorce settlements etc.

You appear to be assuming I'm from USA and have no experience of UK or similar legal systems, which couldn't be further from the truth.  

Your final statement says 'no fault divorce' which, from the poster's assertions, can possibly be proved to be due to spousal abuse. 

[BritManToo]

3 minutes ago, animalmagic said:

Your final statement says 'no fault divorce' which, from the poster's assertions, can possibly be proved to be due to spousal abuse. 

No fault divorce = the behaviour of either party (good or bad) will not affect the division of assets.

You clearly have no understanding of UK 'no fault divorce' law, or you wouldn't have typed what you just did.

I have very limited patience for fools.

Edited May 11, 2019 by BritManToo

[Nip]

I would find a lawyer and file a complaint with the police for all the reasons you detail herein. This is abuse if what you say is true? You should also keep a day to day diary to go along with any audio or video evidence of her mental or physical abuse. Then <deleted>(k up the visa renewal and wave goodbye.

[gerry1953]

I am not trying to kick you when you are down but what could go wrong marrying a women who has a personality disorder, a UK overstay already, bad history, no intimacy and threatens to set you as an women beater to police in order to get a visa extension?

As many recommended get a GOOD lawyer who can help you before you think of extending her visa.

If you choose to do it cheap I would get her to Thailand ASAP under any excuse then return home after trying to acquire her present UK visa, any charge cards and financial accounts you are responsible for - if not cancel those accounts.  Then get UK immigration to cancel her following you if possible. You are in the HONEYMOON phase of marriage - can you imagine how you will be treated if this goes unchecked?  Document everything!!!

Having to carry tape recorders and install cameras is not normal married life my friend, either is her attacking you as you stated.  You sound like you are under a lot of stress and this will take years off your life or kill you and then she wins!  Capital preservation is important but the longer this nonsense goes on the more you may end up paying.  Do not drug her as recommended, then you are abusing her.

 

Most Thai women are used to men taking control and weak western men with our values are cannon fodder for them and they take advantage of it.  IMO I listen to my wife and understand she is more experienced in the Thai way and culture but I control nearly everything else because I am more experienced and have more life experiences and time on this planet.  Good luck.

[animalmagic]

6 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

No fault divorce = the behaviour of either party (good or bad) will not affect the division of assets.

You clearly have no understanding of UK 'no fault divorce' law, or you wouldn't have typed what you just did.

https://researchbriefings.files.parliament.uk/documents/SN01409/SN01409.pdf

I'm afraid I can't agree with your interpretation based upon the above captioned legal advice.

[phantomfiddler]

Get a decent lawyer immediately, and in Thailand she is can only lay claim on 50% of anything you acquired AFTER you got married. I am assuming you are in U.K. now, and if I were you I would go to the police yourself and put on record that she has made these threats ! Get out of this ridiculous situation right now, and do not think for one second that she has any feelings or respect for you. Get out !

[Skallywag]

On 5/10/2019 at 1:45 AM, Glorfindal said:

We got married in Thailand end of 2015

Am confused (as per usual) Everyone talking about getting a divorce or lawyer in the UK. 

Would you not only need to get a Thai lawyer and get a divorce in Thailand?   

Regards, S

[glennb6]

my 2 cents worth... 'never had any form of intimacy' and 'utter mad person' and threatening to lie to police so you are potentially thrown in jail.

 

dear OP, this is nuts. step back and read what you wrote. it ain't normal, it's a psychotic and dangerous situation.

 

if the UK has this 'no fault style divorce law' and her friends/acquaintances may be advising her of such, you are in the deep end. loosing it all in court could happen and possibly being accused of physical abuse could land you in jail too.

 

why play nice and proper in getting out of the situation? She isn't and would have less than zero respect for you if you did try to be nice and amicable. start thinking of ways to get her back into tland permanently. "let's go for on a long walk (on a short pier)"..... or something like that.   good luck

[ThaiBunny]

"Under the current law in England and Wales, unless people can prove their marriage has broken down due to adultery, unreasonable behaviour or desertion, the only way to obtain a divorce without a spouse's consent is to live apart for five years." https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-45452146

[animalmagic]

28 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

No fault divorce = the behaviour of either party (good or bad) will not affect the division of assets.

You clearly have no understanding of UK 'no fault divorce' law, or you wouldn't have typed what you just did.

I have very limited patience for fools.

Oh, I'm so sorry.  Please do accept my fawning, abject apologies for testing your patience.  How foolish of me!

[Odysseus123]

I would be very careful about labeling (or diagnosing) others with 'Personality Disorder' or 'Bi-Polar Disorder' as both terms are overly abused in the West with its penchant for self help and pop psychology.

 

I am reminded of the amusing fact that in my training we were rather cynically informed that "Anyone whom you greatly dislike has a personality disorder!"

 

Clearly the marriage has failed.Time to minimize the damage,protect oneself and move on.

[BritManToo]

18 minutes ago, Skallywag said:

Am confused (as per usual) Everyone talking about getting a divorce or lawyer in the UK. 

Would you not only need to get a Thai lawyer and get a divorce in Thailand?   

Regards, S

If she's living in the UK, you have to divorce her in the UK.

Edited May 11, 2019 by BritManToo

[geoffbezoz]

4 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

If she's living in the UK, you have to divorce her in the UK.

They were married in Thailand and unless the marriage was registered in the UK, they can not be divorced in the UK, even though a Thai marriage is recognised by the UK authorities for official purposes.

Edited May 11, 2019 by geoffbezoz

[soistalker]

Tell her that you love her. Tell her you want to take her on a beautiful vacation. Book a 5 star resort in Thailand. Complete with spa. Then destroy her passport, and gi back to the UK.

Temporary solution, I know. But it will give your lawyers time to compile the evidence you have on her and begin a solid defense.

[holy cow cm]

On ‎5‎/‎10‎/‎2019 at 2:14 AM, Glorfindal said:

Thanks for replying ... she is from South Thailand, and actually from a very well to do family. Seriously nice people. She is very much the black sheep of the family.

The worst hot heads I have experienced in Thailand are from the south. 

[30la]

Let this bitch go before it's too late for you!

[Essex Reject]

On 5/10/2019 at 6:08 AM, faraday said:

1. See a lawyer.

 

2. Talk to the Police.

 

3. Prepare your extrication plan.

 

And, good luck.

Talk to the police about what exactly??

[holy cow cm]

I agree with the poster Kenny who said it is probably BPD. Borderline Personality Disorder. My friend's wife has it in the US. Scary and lashes out in a second. I have been lashed out 3 times by her. But it is very dangerous and the threats she will do. I agree the best answer would be to come back to Thailand with her and then leave really fast back home with informing your country authorities that you fear for your life and have separated from her. Change the locks on the doors, get a restraining order and store her belongings elsewhere. Then deal with the fall out after she is out.

 

Life is not worth taking this abuse of crap form a psychotic. Better fun on the end of another new rainbow not this faded black zone.

[Pravda]

17 minutes ago, soistalker said:

Tell her that you love her. Tell her you want to take her on a beautiful vacation. Book a 5 star resort in Thailand. Complete with spa. Then destroy her passport, and gi back to the UK.

Temporary solution, I know. But it will give your lawyers time to compile the evidence you have on her and begin a solid defense.

 

This is the third post now where someone is suggesting Britman's idea

[Deerculler]

See a lawyer mate.

Don’t stuff around.

[Kenny202]

1 hour ago, SenorJorge said:

The worst part of it is that so many thai women you think aren't from the bar culture were previously.  They got older and stopped getting customers so it was back to the factories and offices with them.  So it's very hard to tell what kind of woman you are really dating.  And English ability isn't always a litmus test -lots of good Thai women speak good English from working in bangkok offices.  Lots of bar girls just didn't care to learn more than "you buy drink me?" And "3000 long time you honey". I love my wife but I wonder sometimes myself.  The harsh reality is if women in the west don't see you as a good catch then women here don't really either.  They're after something else about you - usually money or immigration.  I've been fooled once and divorced already.

Yeah so true. And with the internet dating thing these days muddies the waters even more. Just a different form of sex for money. Many nurses and teachers I have met have mentioned they had either considered or were considering going to Pattaya. Most of the so called "educated" women have access to credit cards and loans, and many desperately over their heads in debt. "Want find good man good hear farang "white bufalo"

[NokNokJoke]

I think she has a BF, she's annoyed she has to ride out the marriage with you for a while for her immigration status, hence the nasty attitude.

 

I  have no idea what the situation is in the UK for alimony, or for your liability for her immigration, but I'd guess the quicker you get this over with, the better off you are.

Edited May 11, 2019 by NokNokJoke

[ThaiBunny]

2 minutes ago, NokNokJoke said:

I think she has a BF,

Surely then you'd be recommending a private detective to gather the evidence?