Wife out of control

[RJRS1301]

Find a trauma counselling for yourself as well.

[RJRS1301]

2 minutes ago, ThaiBunny said:

Definitely sounds like a piece of work

Oops carer

[gk10002000]

On 5/9/2019 at 5:14 PM, Kenny202 said:

I again would take this sort of route. You would be surprised how easy it is to play them at their own game. They lie and cheat and steal but assume you wont do it back. Promise her the world, give her an atlas. If I were you forget about the marriage stuff and legalities. Focus on getting her out of the UK any way possible then let things take their course. Don't pay her off in anyway. Leave her nothing but enough to get back to wherever she lives and promises to send more next week. She will have about as much hope pursuing you in the UK from Thailand as you would trying to take action against her in Thailand. Remember you aren't the first guy had problems with one of these women and hopefully if it comes to any legalities they will see through her ruse.

I would agree with the get her out of the UK approach.  Either offer a first class ticket for her to go back to Thailand for a holiday, to take a break, whatever, or go with her for a joint makeup vacation.

[RJRS1301]

5 minutes ago, gk10002000 said:

I would agree with the get her out of the UK approach.  Either offer a first class ticket for her to go back to Thailand for a holiday, to take a break, whatever, or go with her for a joint makeup vacation.

Do not go with her to Thailand. 

[gk10002000]

Just now, RJRS1301 said:

Do not go with her to Thailand. 

In general I agree with you, except I might do it, then literally have a return flight the same day and then just kind of lose her in the airport.  I doubt she could prepare anything that quickly, but maybe not worth the risk.  Just buy her a return round trip ticket.  Then change it after she lands in Thailand!  Depending on the airline she is on, won't she have to show the credit card used to buy the ticket which would be in your hands in the UK?

[yogi100]

2 hours ago, Benroon said:

UK courts are under enormous pressure to hike up the rape/domestic assault/abuse statistics - if his Mrs has half a brain, and a little imagination she would trample all over him in a UK court - stop talking tripe !

 

Unless he has evidence she was a prostitute you've just added slander to his chances - great advice.

 

Supposing for just a second that this isn't another clickbait newbie anti thai fishing trip to feed the haters that have been dumped previously, court action would be a ridiculous way to get this resolved, statistically or financially - he, as many have said, would just need to sit it out.

"In a round about way let the court know you married a Thai prostitute who is trying to take you for a ride and see what transpires."

[Stevemercer]

Sounds like your wife has mental health issues. Is she on any medications? It would be good if you could convince her to go to a doctor and get on some mood balancing medications.

 

Apart from that it sounds like you need to work towards an exit (divorce) plan.

 

If you have been together (married or de facto) for less than 5 years, than she might be entitled to up to 20% of your combined assets if the matter went to the courts. At some stage you will need to work out a financial settlement (buy off) for her. You might want to think about a cash offer in the range of 10% of your total assets in the first instance (allowing some room for negotiation upwards).

[yogi100]

2 hours ago, Benroon said:

UK courts are under enormous pressure to hike up the rape/domestic assault/abuse statistics - if his Mrs has half a brain, and a little imagination she would trample all over him in a UK court - stop talking tripe !

 

Unless he has evidence she was a prostitute you've just added slander to his chances - great advice.

 

Supposing for just a second that this isn't another clickbait newbie anti thai fishing trip to feed the haters that have been dumped previously, court action would be a ridiculous way to get this resolved, statistically or financially - he, as many have said, would just need to sit it out.

A friend of mine took a TG back to the UK. He was in his late 50s and she was about 40 and he believed she was a cook.

 

They got married and had two kids. He had his own privately own home.

 

Then she got a job in a London Thai massage parlour and started seeing other men.

 

Terrible rows ensued and she was given temporary housing and within a year her own council flat but would not let him see the kids.

 

The question of his surrendering his home to her or having to sell it was never touched upon. I attended the courts with him on two occasions to give him moral support.

 

He now sees his two daughters regularly.

 

So learn some manners and don't be so bloody rude.

 

[Kenny202]

1 hour ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Last century! But it doesn't really matter.

What matters is how Thai women (obviously not all of them) behave. 

Looking at the comments in TV every day there are lots of guys who tried to be the nice guy.  I was one of them. They wanted a real partnership with equal rights. And that included obviously letting the wife also decide what to buy and do.

And what is the result? Look at all the threads, including this one.

From my own experience and from what I heard from friends in almost all Thai relationships there is a clear boss. And you have two choices: You are the boss or she is the boss.  Which option do you prefer?

SO true in Thailand or another way to put it abused and abuser. I remember a guy posted on here some time ago his wife told him in Thailand relationships, there is always the abused and an abuser. He was shocked and told his wife he has never abused a woman in his life. She said "oh good, that means I get to be the abuser". Funny story but very true here. I have a pretty good woman here. But I don't give her an inch. Keep your foot on the gas all the time. Tolerate zero crap. She is good hearted and not selfish, no money or family issues etc but just their sheer lack of education, naivety and lack of experience would see us hand in hand going up the garden path if I didn't keep the hand on the wheel. 

 

Thais don't see relationships as we do. None of these soppy notions. In reality they probably have a more practical view. Men are men and women are women and very different entities. If you put yourself in a position of exposure out of trust or love etc, they will have your guts for garters and you are seen as the stupid one for being trusting

Edited May 11, 2019 by Kenny202

[English Engineer]

Very sorry to hear of your situation. I think maybe worth involving the police if her attacks are serrious. Many people imagine all violence his men on women. This is not the case. Involving the police would give you some evidence for the future. You need the services of a good lawyer and I suspect start divorce procedure. In a short marriage the wife will not always get 50% of your assets. Unfortunately conduct does not impact the financial settlement. The court is required to take account of her needs. Good luck.

[IssanMichael]

On 5/10/2019 at 2:12 AM, CLS said:

Not sure if I should reply. Now I do it anyhow.

It’s a disease called psychopathy. Especially spread over large parts of Isaan. Google it. There are studies on this subject.



Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect

utterly stupid and inaccurate comment you should grow up and get out more with mature people.

[thaiguzzi]

On 5/10/2019 at 1:45 AM, Glorfindal said:

Question: what is the best way to deal with this?

As i suggested in another topic, set fire to it and collect the insurance.

That was about cars, but this is a very similar case, ie there is no hope of a good outcome.

[Tony125]

"if you do not do it, or it messes up, then I will just go to the police and tell them you have abused me"

 

Both Thai women and Phillippine women have learned this trick. My friend in USA married a Pinay and 2 weeks after arriving in US she runs to Pinay friend and reports my friend for physical abuse. Why ? If the marriage is not working out, she doesn't love him anymore he's cheating ect and she wants a divorce in US she is on a probationary period of 18---24 months and she would be sent back to her home country. However, if they claim spousal abuse the Gov will allow them to stay as considered not their fault and should not be penalized. He almost lost everything he had till the American husband (a cop) of her Pinay friend saw stuff on his computer she was using and did a background check and found out she had a criminal and prostitution record a mile long in the Phillippines. Judge annulled the marriage and she skipped town

Cost him a lot in layers fees..

[RJRS1301]

7 minutes ago, Tony125 said:

"if you do not do it, or it messes up, then I will just go to the police and tell them you have abused me"

 

Both Thai women and Phillippine women have learned this trick. My friend in USA married a Pinay and 2 weeks after arriving in US she runs to Pinay friend and reports my friend for physical abuse. Why ? If the marriage is not working out, she doesn't love him anymore he's cheating ect and she wants a divorce in US she is on a probationary period of 18---24 months and she would be sent back to her home country. However, if they claim spousal abuse the Gov will allow them to stay as considered not their fault and should not be penalized. He almost lost everything he had till the American husband (a cop) of her Pinay friend saw stuff on his computer she was using and did a background check and found out she had a criminal and prostitution record a mile long in the Phillippines. Judge annulled the marriage and she skipped town

Cost him a lot in layers fees..

Was he authorised to do the background check?

 

[AGareth2]

1 hour ago, yogi100 said:

"In a round about way let the court know you married a Thai prostitute who is trying to take you for a ride and see what transpires."

caveat emptor

[flbkk]

Do look up borderline personality 

[RJRS1301]

Let’s not do uniformed diagnosis of the alleged perpetrator,

Llet’s support him to ensure his physical and mental health through this.

 

[RJRS1301]

1 minute ago, hyku1147 said:

I trust that you know that this isn't the gay forum. Please, take your judgemental virtue signaling elsewhere.

Judgemental? Methinks of Pots and Kettles 

[thaibeachlovers]

20 hours ago, totally thaied up said:

The only thing that ruins it all is if you run out of money. It is pretty easy these days to divorce a Thai wife and find a new girlfriend and never marry again. Certainly a buyers market. 

Generalising much?

In my case I'm too old to even consider starting over.

 

[shaurene]

I would try some how to go back to at hailing with her for some made up reason.

if you manage to get there take some money with you maybe 10k pounds. Try make a deal for her to sign but do it with a good lawyer and do not stay in a same place keep a good distance and try have a witness with you at all time even if you have to pay a fee. As she could get the police on you with a pack of lies. Get something signed and get out. Do not help in any way to get her a uK visa, go to uk immigration and give them facts as to what she does and what she has done give a load of bulls shit like she sells her body etc. And then get to hell back to UK. If you want sell up all you have make plans and go live in other country. Just move around. Spain Greece Vietnam etc.

 

be as smart as her Mate. It can be done 109% and be safe. When you sell up plenty places to hide your money. Buy crypto currencies, gold, Silver, government bonds. Get a life again mate.

fortunatally I married a dream lady 12 yrs ago from Khon Kaen. I am having bad problems but from my side of the family in New Zealand. All ends up with money money money. Sickening really.

[RJRS1301]

1 hour ago, volleyowl said:

OP, I'm very sorry to hear that your "spouse" has been acting out the way that she has. I empathize with you, since that must be incredibly difficult to go through. My background is in Psychology and I hope to help you in the best way that I can, as your situation sounds very dire and very toxic.

Below are my recommendations:

1) Document, document, document, record and have video, audio and any type of evidence possible. This is the best way to protect yourself against someone that is acting out physically, psychologically and/or otherwise.

2) If you have not already, Lawyer up NOW/AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. There is a ton of legality involved here which spans across two different countries, which can make things needlessly difficult and confusing. In addition to the legal aspect, having to deal her verbal AND physical abusive behavior (she is absolutely being psychologically AND physically abusive towards you, based on what you stated), is already an incredible amount of pressure and stress to deal with on your own. You need all the help you can get, legally. Make sure to do your research. If possible, also consult a Psychologist for yourself (do not tell her that you are seeing a Psychologist to deal with "her" because that will enrage her further. You need to tell a professional your plans and even though you are paying someone to help you with these issues, you NEED to have as much support as possible because it is so difficult being at the mercy of an abuser). She will NOT want you to help yourself, she just wants you to keep giving to her because she sounds very selfish and only concerned about what is best for her, not for yourself. 

3) Do you have a pre-nup? 

4) I would suggest for her going to therapy, but suggesting for her to do so will more than likely endanger yourself even more (especially noting her erratic behavior - That is great that you have not been retaliating back physically). At this point, I would highly recommend you look towards separating from her as quickly as possible. 

5) This may be too personal but is important that I understand. Why have you both not been intimate pre-marriage? Does she not have a sex drive? Do you? Is she asexual? Sex is such an important part of a relationship, and biologically speaking, sex is directly linked into a male's self-esteem/self-worth (look it up). Just curious as to why you would marry someone that you would not share intimacy with. 

Best of luck - hope to hear back soon.
 

Agreed and a supportive counselling and trauma formed practitioner

[UASCB500BIKER]

Fly  to Thailand then cancel her plane ticket....HA HA

[UASCB500BIKER]

Set the Stage..Push her buttons, tape it I will Kill You !!!!

[robint]

6 hours ago, Pravda said:

 

I have also watched quite a few of his videos and I find similarities to Thai (women) shockingly similar.

thats the guy he has some 50+ videos that seem honest, not pushing any agenda and he genuinely loves China and its ordinary people.  He immersed himself 20 years, learnt the language and tried to make his home there. but it became increasingly difficult under Xi pooh bear and he called it quits and relocated to S cal

 

I was truly amazed he was able to address topics in such a frank manner.  You could never get away with his type of published insights in LOS You would not be around for long

[Odysseus123]

The best advice has already been proffered by many posters on this thread but it is well worth repeating..

 

Step One:Go see a lawyer.

Any further steps after that need to be taken under legal guidance.

[robint]

After a few years I tended to avoid flangs with tarts in tow. Got fed up hearing their marital problems and when you tell them how it is, they didnt listen and did the opposite. Ive known so many flangs where it ended badly, broke, sleeping on the beach, begging from you at every chance.  Like Serpentza after 20 years I couldnt see any future for me.  In 2008 the crunch came when my disposable income reduced by 75%. I couldnt meet the income requirements for visa renewal so I did the smart thing for a change and relocated fortunately  planned never to return

 

It all started to go wrong when Toxin's monopoly in telecomms meant the country was flooded with cheap mobile phones.  All the dirty little tricks were rapidly spread around

[Ireland32]

Install camera in the house, secret camera 

[oldrunner]

Are you some kind of dumb? Come on, either this is a fairy tale or you need some sort of psychiatric help.  She's a wild nut and no sex? You did fill some Thai news for the bored folks.

[Doowat]

Sorry to hear about this nightmare situation. I knew a fella who met his filipina wife when she was working as a nurse in UAE. He was working there as well. After a few years he retired and they both came to the UK you settle in his very nice house. Out of the blue the police knocked the door late at night in response to a call from his wife that he had assaulted her. Complete fiction - he ended up living in a squalid flat while she remained in the house with their young child. The poor guy was a broken man. My advice is keep one step ahead of this woman, see a solicitor asap and make the police aware of her threats. I would also inform the immigration authorities that the marriage has broken down. I had a problem with a filipina 'playing up' a few years back ( she was here on a tourist visa) and immigration were very very helpful..especially as she had breached visa conditions re working. If there's no kids involved the 50% split is unlikely to apply to a short marriage. Best thing for you though is make sure she's gone from the country. Hope that helps

[Paradice lost]

Hi.  I have similar problem, although not quite as bad as yours.  We married in 2015 and she is currently in UK with Spouse visa, one year into FLR.  As you seem have protected yourself with videos and recording, I think the answer to your problem is quite simple. Your wife has a UK visa based upon marriage. Call UK immigration and inform them that the marriage has IRREVOCABLY broken down.  This will invalidate her visa and immigration should remove her to immigration detention centre and deport her.  Then let her try to claim half your assets  ????.  After one year, you can apply for divorce in Thailand based on desertion.