How to motivate Thais to pay the money back?

[Tayaout]

Try selling the debt to a loan shark. I would even give him for free. 

[rott]

Hassle the git. Is there a small claims court here? Or send a solicitor's letter (assuming you can fund this of course) send copies to her family and his, and his employers. Cheeky bastard needs seeing to.

[PingRoundTheWorld]

41 minutes ago, xtrnuno41 said:

It doesnt matter if it is Thailand, it happens everywhere.

You loan money and then how to get it back, everywhere same story

Exactly. This isn't a unique Thai trait - it's human nature - when you lend someone money, unless there is motivation to pay (collateral, threat, etc) they'll keep putting it off and eventually start resenting you. Best way to keep your friends is to never lend them any serious amount of money. (if a friend needs 2000 baht because he's low on cash and we're out drinking - no problem - but if he needs 30,000 baht to pay a loan shark then sorry, I'm not your daddy.. learn to manage your finances better)

[Solinvictus]

Hey, I respect your good heart and willingness to help out someone in need.

 

I'm unfortunately in a situation similar myself but with a bit less money. Clearly, I haven't learned myself.

 

I find myself caught between 'being kind' and 'fear of not getting it back'.

 

The negative side of it, is reality. The reality is that a majority of Thai people do not pay money back.

 

After getting the money stolen, I then find myself caught between 'thoughts of confrontation', talking about it with my spouse, to then..."just letting it go."

 

Frozen.

 

The cold never bothered me anyway. ha

 

[ericthai]

Happened to my Thai sister-in-law, she loaned her cousin 1 million baht, 3 years later still nothing paid back. When her cousin wanted to borrow the money from us,  I asked why does she need 1 million baht if her hotel is doing so good? Excuses were made. I said no, I dont have it. I tired to warn the sister-in-law, but she was thinking about the interest. So she got money for her land and loaned it to her cousin.  A few weeks later hotel is closed.  Now, nobody talks about it in public, but behind closed doors the sisters are always talking about how their cousin goes to Hong Kong, goes here, there but no money to pay when asked. Told them several times say something next time she posts on FB that shes in Dubai or where ever. They think about it, but always end up no doing it, loss of face crap. OP I think the 5K is gone.

[55Jay]

2 hours ago, Solinvictus said:

Hey, I respect your good heart and willingness to help out someone in need.

 

I'm unfortunately in a situation similar myself but with a bit less money. Clearly, I haven't learned myself.

 

I find myself caught between 'being kind' and 'fear of not getting it back'.

 

The negative side of it, is reality. The reality is that a majority of Thai people do not pay money back.

 

After getting the money stolen, I then find myself caught between 'thoughts of confrontation', talking about it with my spouse, to then..."just letting it go."

 

Frozen.

 

The cold never bothered me anyway. ha

 

Man up.  Say "no" without being a dikc about it.  Good question to ask is, "What would he/she do if I wasn't here?"   Right.  Then do that.  

 

If they are dodgy, and you're a weak chump, they'll take advantage of you.  If you let it happen, that's on you.  You can be nice, but don't show weakness. Stand up for yourself.  If your wife/gf is more on their side than yours, well, you've got a decision to make. 

[lipflipper]

Never, ever, lend money to a Thai and expect them to repay you. If you want to give money with no caveat that's entirely up to you. And by the way, dump that Twinkie you call a girlfriend as she is playing you for a fool.

Sent from my CMR-AL19 using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[Berkshire]

On 5/21/2019 at 7:36 PM, OneMoreFarang said:

Just to get this out of the minds of some people here.

I am together with her since many years and most of the time she is low maintenance.

She had from time to time more than 100,000B of my money cash in her hands and she never stole any money.

And in the theoretical case that she would try to get money out of me: Would she go for 5,000B as the big price? 555

Not sure if been asked, but your GF doesn't even have 5,000 bt herself to loan to her own family member? 

[OneMoreFarang]

2 hours ago, Berkshire said:

Not sure if been asked, but your GF doesn't even have 5,000 bt herself to loan to her own family member? 

Fair question, fair answer: No

She lives with me and I pay for everything.

If she goes out shopping I give her maybe 1000B and if she need more she tells me.

 

The problem with her is that if she has a lot of money in her pocket she will more likely spend it. Even now when she goes to the market maybe she comes back with 5kg of fruits. She buys it all to reasonable prices but she often buys more than we will ever eat. If she has only limited funds then she thinks twice if maybe one or two kg of fruits is also enough.

 

I think that is a common problem for many people. I also spend my money easier if I have more in my pocket.

She never has not enough money at each moment in time. That seems to be good enough for her and it works for us both.

 

[Traubert]

16 hours ago, rott said:

Hassle the git. Is there a small claims court here? Or send a solicitor's letter (assuming you can fund this of course) send copies to her family and his, and his employers. Cheeky bastard needs seeing to.

That'll do it. Hit him where it hurts.

 

His credit rating. ????

[AlexRich]

15 hours ago, Solinvictus said:

Hey, I respect your good heart and willingness to help out someone in need.

 

I'm unfortunately in a situation similar myself but with a bit less money. Clearly, I haven't learned myself.

 

I find myself caught between 'being kind' and 'fear of not getting it back'.

 

The negative side of it, is reality. The reality is that a majority of Thai people do not pay money back.

 

After getting the money stolen, I then find myself caught between 'thoughts of confrontation', talking about it with my spouse, to then..."just letting it go."

 

Frozen.

 

The cold never bothered me anyway. ha

 

Have you ever considered divorce? A life of being taken advantage of is not a happy one. 

[BobbyL]

I don't lend money to anyone nowadays. Not just here, also in England. I had mates in the past take the p*** with paying back money. Not worth the hassle. 

[Kadilo]

WIth me it’s not even about the money. Tbh i couldn’t give a hoot about it as it won’t change my life one way or another. 

 

What bugs me is the bull they tell to avoid paying it and the subsequent lack of respect I now have for them for something I would probably have given them in the first place. 

 

 

[scorecard]

I repeat what my Thai son does, after he got caught with a uni buddy, ever since; 'can I borrow...." gets a quick answer from my son, "i'm broke, I don't have any money, can I borrow 20Baht from you, now?'  The word spread quickly, his friends don't ask any more.

 

[Vacuum]

On 5/21/2019 at 12:29 PM, geoffbezoz said:

OK but that means trust is destroyed. If he can not trust his GF what future is there in a relationship ? Zero

'Free' sex?

Edited May 24, 2019 by Vacuum

[Captain 776]

On 5/21/2019 at 5:33 PM, madmen said:

6000 posts and you still lent money to a Thai ?

 

He obviously isn't to concerned about face, Most Thais Like to pick and choose their face loss

I have a deal with the bank.......they don’t do any Oil n Gas work......and I don’t loan any money.

 

I don’t care WHO YOU ARE.........NEVER.......EVER.......loan money to anyone, family......your best friend, especially your Thai GF, OR anyone that she knows or recommends.  NEVER~!!

 

It is the FASSSST LANE to a Dead End street called NOWHERE~!!

[geoffbezoz]

43 minutes ago, Vacuum said:

'Free' sex?

Nothings "free" in this world !!

[Vacuum]

On 5/23/2019 at 4:32 AM, OneMoreFarang said:

The problem with her is that if she has a lot of money in her pocket she will more likely spend it.

Wonder if she's related to my wife?  hahaha  She's exactly the same.

[Blue Muton]

On 5/23/2019 at 2:14 PM, BobbyL said:

I don't lend money to anyone nowadays. Not just here, also in England. I had mates in the past take the p*** with paying back money. Not worth the hassle. 

Yes, I remember lending a Villa fan £20 on the night England beat Holland 4-1, haven't received a penny of it. I also remember cheering when Holland scored their consolation goal as it meant Scotland dinnae qualify for something again.