How to motivate Thais to pay the money back?

[OneMoreFarang]

About two weeks ago my long time gf received a phone call at 3am from an extended family member. The police stopped him on the way to work to another province and something was wrong and they only wanted to let him go against cash.

So he called my gf, she asked me, and because I have a good heart I transferred 5,000B to the guy a couple of minutes later.

He promised he will pay it back the next day.

And the next day he promised he will pay it back end of the week.

And then end of the next week.

And now it's the end of the month.

 

My gf calls him basically every day and everyday she talks nice to him. She is very upset herself about the situation because she promised me that this guy is reliable and sure would pay the money back...

 

Now, after she was for about two weeks nice to him I asked her about other options. I.e. she should call him and tell him she will ask the rest of the family if they can help him to pay the money back. The idea is to shame him so that he is motivated to pay it back. But my gf thinks that is a bad idea. She tells me with pressure he will never pay it back. And I think without pressure it seems he also does not pay it back.

 

I don't like 5,000B less in my pocket but it's not a financial problem. But obviously I still want it back.

 

What is your experience? How did you motivate people to pay money back? Asking nice? Pressure? What worked?

 

And yes, I know I shouldn't have done it. My gf does not work and I don't really blame her. I said yes and I knew it was my risk.

[Wilsonandson]

You've been scammed dude! Easy to see that. My advice is ditch the girlfriend and move on. You live and learn.

 

 

 

 

[Wilsonandson]

[grollies]

Life's too short mate. Write it off, let the relatives know you've written it off BUT, let them all know they can't come to you because of it.

[madmen]

6000 posts and you still lent money to a Thai ?

 

He obviously isn't to concerned about face, Most Thais Like to pick and choose their face loss

[brokenbone]

one more falang lending out money without guarantee,

dont be too hard on yourself, i'm the same kind of complete idiot refusing to adhere to common sense

[geoffbezoz]

Sounds like he is a bit more then a family friend of your girl friend. You have been taken hook line and sinker. Calls him every day !! Sorry but the story tells the tale, not want your heart wants to hear I know. Kiss the 5000 baht goodbye and kick your GF in to touch, she is taking the !!. No doubt she will be in the arms of this creep sooner than you can say ATM.

[scorecard]

6 minutes ago, grollies said:

Life's too short mate. Write it off, let the relatives know you've written it off BUT, let them all know they can't come to you because of it.

The lesson seems to be that 'borrow' money really means 'give me money as a gift'.

 

My Thai son got caught once, just after he started university, his new buddy asked to borrow some money (from memory 10,000Baht).

 

Son spoke to me, I suggested he make an excuse and say no, but son wanted to help his new buddy who promised several times he would pay it back quickly.

 

A year later nothing paid, son asks 'when are you going to repay the money I loaned to you?

 

Buddy looked serious and said 'if your going to ask me to repay the money then your not a very nice friend'. Buddy never spoke to my son ever again.

 

What pissed my son off even more was he learned later the boy owes money all over the place for football gambling bets. My son hates gambling. 

 

Ever since; 'can I borrow...." gets a quick answer from my son, "i'm broke, I don't have any money, can I borrow 20Baht from you, now?'  The word spread quickly, his friends don't ask any more.

[Traubert]

If you ask me, you just bought the perfect excuse to flatly refuse any future requests for money for only Bht5000. Its a bargain.

 

Congratulations.

[ratcatcher]

How to motivate Thais to pay the money back?

To operate one of these you need  

[BritManToo]

1 hour ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I don't like 5,000B less in my pocket but it's not a financial problem. But obviously I still want it back.

What is your experience? How did you motivate people to pay money back? Asking nice? Pressure? What worked?

Deduct it from your gf's monthly stipend.

[samuttodd]

Traubert nailed it.

[bwpage3]

Honestly, if you ever loan money in Thailand, there should be a certain understanding you will never get it back.

 

5,000 baht is nothing to fret about and consider it a kind deed.

 

For some Thai's, maybe they have never had 5,000 baht at one time in their entire lives and would have no way to pay it back.

 

People in Thailand borrow money because they don't have any.

 

 

[Kwasaki]

1 hour ago, OneMoreFarang said:

What is your experience? How did you motivate people to pay money back? Asking nice? Pressure? What worked?

Go and see him privately and ask him if he likes hospital food take his motorbike and say he can have it back for 5000 baht.

[fishtank]

Expecting money back from a Thai?  

[zydeco]

1 hour ago, OneMoreFarang said:

About two weeks ago my long time gf received a phone call at 3am from an extended family member. The police stopped him on the way to work to another province and something was wrong and they only wanted to let him go against cash.

So he called my gf, she asked me, and because I have a good heart I transferred 5,000B to the guy a couple of minutes later.

He promised he will pay it back the next day.

And the next day he promised he will pay it back end of the week.

And then end of the next week.

And now it's the end of the month.

Sounds like the price for drunk driving at a traffic stop. Lucky you didn't get asked for the 20,000 they normally want at the police station. Within my first year here, I had that same situation happen to me. Loaned the money. Now, ten years later, I'm still waiting. You will be, too. All loans from farangs in Thailand = gifts. It's gone.

[grollies]

22 minutes ago, brokenbone said:

one more falang lending out money without guarantee,

dont be too hard on yourself, i'm the same kind of complete idiot refusing to adhere to common sense

You and me both. Money I lent to Thai family (wife's sister)  B20,000 repaid in 12 months.

 

Money lent to farang 'friend' B70,000..........will never see it again. Go figure.

[orchis]

Once. Around 2001. I wrote HR at his employer (TG) I told him since I didn't have any news or

contact number, could they gently remind him. I did this extremely politely. They didn't answer me but the money was transfered by him into my account. 10.000 thb.

[moe666]

I got stuck for 4,000 once, no big deal defiantly do not ask TV members for advice. Write it off and understand you are not a bank. Happens everywhere though couple thousand in the states to people I know and thought were my friends, no longer my friends. 

[AlexRich]

Think of it as a payment for education. I got a phonecall from a guy I used to work with who was in a difficult situation. If I loaned him £1000 he would pay me back in six weeks. After hounding him constantly I finally got my money back ... 8 months later. 

 

I knew it was was a mistake, even when i was doing it. He was a senior professional guy who has worked at director level in retail companies that anyone around the world has heard of. If I hadn’t have hounded him I would never have seen the money. I don’t care about £1000, I just don’t like being taken for an idiot.

 

Anyone reading this who has never been in this situation ... learn from my mistake.

[rumak]

 

forget about it.  the stress will cost you a lot more than the money.   think positive : you will NEVER have to think twice about lending money to anyone (including her ?)  again

[madmen]

5 minutes ago, moe666 said:

I got stuck for 4,000 once, no big deal defiantly do not ask TV members for advice. Write it off and understand you are not a bank. Happens everywhere though couple thousand in the states to people I know and thought were my friends, no longer my friends. 

Yep same here/ Lent 20k AUD to my closest life long friend. With 6k to go he picked a fight and I never saw that money. Was very angry a long time before deciding to just let it go and that felt better than anger

Never ever ever lend money to friends

 

[zydeco]

3 minutes ago, AlexRich said:

Anyone reading this who has never been in this situation ... learn from my mistake.

Anyone reading this who has never been in this situation . . . has not been in Thailand.

[AlexRich]

2 minutes ago, zydeco said:

Anyone reading this who has never been in this situation . . . has not been in Thailand.

Eh?

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, Wilsonandson said:

You've been scammed dude! Easy to see that. My advice is ditch the girlfriend and move on. You live and learn.

So if you had a girlfriend for many years and she would ask you to lend 5,000B to the wrong guy you would ditch her, correct?

I think we are all entitled to make some mistakes from time to time - even Thai girls. ???? 

And I was the one who agreed to the loan. I could have said no, I didn't. My mistake.

[BritManToo]

6 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

So if you had a girlfriend for many years and she would ask you to lend 5,000B to the wrong guy you would ditch her, correct?

I think we are all entitled to make some mistakes from time to time - even Thai girls. ???? 

And I was the one who agreed to the loan. I could have said no, I didn't. My mistake.

I'd either assume 1) he was her lover or 2) she was scamming me.

Maybe both.

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, geoffbezoz said:

Sounds like he is a bit more then a family friend of your girl friend. You have been taken hook line and sinker. Calls him every day !! Sorry but the story tells the tale, not want your heart wants to hear I know. Kiss the 5000 baht goodbye and kick your GF in to touch, she is taking the !!. No doubt she will be in the arms of this creep sooner than you can say ATM.

It's always amazing what some people read into some stories. I guess you also think every brother is really the boyfriend or husband and all of them always lie. Sometimes the brother is actually the brother and sometime people have to pay money to the Thai police to walk or drive away.

[JWRC]

I was stupid enough to lend my partners nephew 103,000 to stop his house being reposessed, we had a written agreement that he repay me at the rate of 1,000 thb per month, no interest. Over a 3 year period he paid a total of 2,000 baht ( 2 payments). I took him to court and won, the lawyer cost me 7,500 (Thai lawyer) and the court gave him 12 months to pay, and the court decided he should pay interest which they backdated to the start of the loan. 12 months later I got my money and the interest more than paid for the lawyer. I have not and never will lend money again. After you have been here a while you learn that a loan is actually viewed as a gift.

[baansgr]

Never lend money in Thailand to Thai or Foreigner, you very unlikely to get it back...Thais never will,..why did he call your gf, why not his parents, wife, brother or sister....money is King and its gone 

Oh and a Thai asked me to 'borrow' them 1,000 today.....nah, no way, was polite i haven't got it.....even offered me her pussy...unbelievable

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, Kwasaki said:

Go and see him privately and ask him if he likes hospital food take his motorbike and say he can have it back for 5000 baht.

Did you try it and how did that work?

Would you beat someone so that he needs hospital treatment because of 5,000B?