The perfect marriage

[monkeycu]

54 minutes ago, soistalker said:

The longest I would consider having a relationship with a thai woman is 45 minutes. 

Plus, do you really want to dumb down your gene pool?

After 68 years, most of that drinking, my gene pool is pretty much Rat S= = t

 

[villagefarang]

30 minutes ago, geronimo said:

Agree with that,

 

many are not prepared to embrace the culture here, and because of that, they feel like an outsider (which they are).

 

There are always going to be issues with cross cultural relationships, and if you're not prepared to make the effort, you will have problems.

It’s not just cross cultural relationships. I get the impression a lot of guys don’t know the difference between a Volvo and a vulva. 

[Kinnock]

9 years and it just works.

 

All the positive cliches about Asian woman are true for me - caring, loving and beautiful. 

 

I look after her and she looks after me.  

[geoffbezoz]

11 minutes ago, villagefarang said:

It’s not just cross cultural relationships. I get the impression a lot of guys don’t know the difference between a Volvo and a vulva. 

Of course most know the difference, a Volvo does not need FemFresh ????

[Gecko123]

Would like to hear more anecdotes about the quality of interpersonal chemistry, teamwork as a couple, vibrant sex life after many years together, growing and growing old together, shared values and life goals. Talking about longevity of a relation in and of itself doesn't tell you much about the relationship dynamic.

 

I'm happy for anyone who has found happiness over here. But I'm skeptical about how truly fulfilling these marriages are over the long run, for either the guy or the woman. Yesterday I made my monthly Big C, Makro, Lotus shopping trip and I saw five foreign guys with their Thai wives. Most of the guys appeared to be between 65-75 years old, and on average the wives were probaby in the 45-55 years old range. Nobody had a super young chicky-poo at his side, and I got the impression that all of them had been together for many years.

 

Judging from their faces and interactions, I'm sorry I did not sense that these relationships were especially fulfilling for either the men or their wives. The men's faces suggested a sedate lifestyle with very limited social engagement. Set faces, not open to engagement with others, very little interaction with their spouses. In many cases, the Thai wife appeared to be more in a role not unlike a caregiver or home health care assistant. I saw little banter, interaction about which product to buy, playfulness or humor. When I made eye contact with a few of the Thai wives, more than anything what I saw were signs of loneliness and boredom. Although I am recounting my experiences only from yesterday, in general, this is what I mostly observe when I'm out and about.

 

So I guess what I'm hoping to hear are truthful anecdotes about interpersonal and physical chemistry, shared culinary adventures, deep philosophical discussions about life and religion, your teamwork as parents, her romantic and thoughtful gestures, how she places the relationship's interests above her interests, her conflict resolution skills, her listening, conversational, and storytelling skills, how you make one another laugh. How the sexual chemistry is still there.

 

That's what would make me a believer that the great farang-Thai relationship experiment is for real.

 

 

Edited June 15, 2019 by Gecko123

[geronimo]

7 minutes ago, geoffbezoz said:

Of course most know the difference, a Volvo does not need FemFresh ????

Both need regular servicing!

[jesimps]

As long as I ignore the fact that she hardly ever does any housework and has always got her face in her phone then we get along fine (12 years together). 

[spidermike007]

My wife and I have a really outstanding relationship. There are several contributing factors. Early on, we had issues, and many had to do with a lack of communication. I made her aware every time she said she did not want to talk about it, that she was sabotaging the potential we had, and that if she refused to discuss an issue, it would lead to one of us walking out the door. She got it, and since then we talk about issues, resolve them, and move on. Also, she has an exemplary character. Smart, funny, charming, she is a gourmet cook, patient, not think skinned, courageous, playful, light hearted, very, very supportive of me, and not jealous or possessive. She was jealous and possessive early on, like most Thai women. We worked on that, and I explained that I did not want or need to be owned by someone. And visa versa. She finally got it. Now, we have a very independent relationship. Most days she spends 6-10 hours with her girlfriends. It gives me much needed solo time, and when we are together it is delightful. Also, we take alot of solo trips apart. She goes off with her girlfriends, or her sister, on two to four day trips. Sometimes up to a week. She has taken trips to China, Korea, and around Thailand without me. She also heads up to her village for a week at a time. I go on trips with my friends, for a few days, and occasionally up to a week at a time. I love the lifestyle. I also go back to the US twice a year, once with her, and once without her. The independence is a large part of what has allowed us to be together for over a decade now, and really enjoy each others company. I cannot be around a woman 24/7. It has never worked for me. Our relationship is fun, fulfilling, and really comforting, and that is after over a decade of being together. Being apart quite a bit really contributes to that. 

 

Also, I think it helped that she is the eldest child. An eldest child in a Thai family is given more responsibility, and I think they grow up to be more mature, and more solid. If I were to have to do this all again, I would only date the eldest one in the family.  

 

Also, early on her english skills were marginal. I asked her if she wanted to study. She said yes, and I sent her to a good english school. She took it very seriously, and did three hours of homework per night. She learned to speak, read, and write english, and now she is nearly fluent, with the exception of some grammar issues, which are minor. And it also helps that she is very smart, and has a nearly photographic memory. I tell her a new word, break it down for her, and she never forgets it! Wish I had that capacity. 

Edited June 15, 2019 by spidermike007

[Skallywag]

6 minutes ago, Kinnock said:

9 years and it just works.

 

All the positive cliches about Asian woman are true for me - caring, loving and beautiful. 

 

I look after her and she looks after me.  

As Britmantoo would say, "so no sex then? " 

 

"looked after" from Cambridge Dictionary:  used to refer to children who are taken care of by social services because their own parents were unable to look after them

 

Excuse the unnecessary sarcasm - am truly envious of your relationship.

 

My thai wife had 2 passions; Food and Shopping.  Worked out well for her as the more she ate the more she had to go shopping to size up.  No cooking, always ate out, didn't want to clean up or do the work of "food" shopping or preparation.  She was loving and caring early on.  Did work to afford her passions.  

[Skallywag]

12 minutes ago, Gecko123 said:

Set faces, not open to engagement with others, very little interaction with their spouses. In many cases, the Thai wife appeared to be more in a role not unlike a caregiver or home health care assistant

That is the "perfect marriage" 55

[bluesofa]

5 minutes ago, jesimps said:

As long as I ignore the fact that she hardly ever does any housework and has always got her face in her phone then we get along fine (12 years together). 

The face in the phone syndrome is common in so many Thais.

 

Yes, given I'm on my laptop most of the day.

However, I don't take it with me when visiting someone, going for a dump, or just getting food out of the fridge, same as most people here with a smartphone have to do.

 

Nomophobia is the proposed name for this disease:

Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nomophobia 

[Skallywag]

7 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

My wife and I have a really outstanding relationship.

Spidermike - have read several of your postings over the last year. 

Must say your posts are always refreshing, well written, and make me very envious of you, your wife, your lifestyle.

I doubt I will ever have the funds to travel or the chance to meet a woman like this in my golden years.  

 

Kudos, SW

Golden Years: Advanced years I meant,  not the David Bowie song

 

[Orton Rd]

I am happy as long as she keeps her mouth shut

[spidermike007]

22 minutes ago, jesimps said:

As long as I ignore the fact that she hardly ever does any housework and has always got her face in her phone then we get along fine (12 years together). 

Housework? We pay a maid 350 baht a week, to do a thorough and deep cleaning of our house. It is the best 1400 baht a month we spend. My wife has far better things to do with her time, than clean our toilets! She does laundry, she cooks gourmet food, she takes care of everything I need, or want. Why should she have to clean the house too?

[gunderhill]

On 6/14/2019 at 2:59 AM, geronimo said:

is all about give and take

She  gives I take although I did give initially to get her  going.

[gunderhill]

Just now, spidermike007 said:

350 baht a week, to do a thorough and deep cleaning of our house.

Blimey are you sure because they certainly dont want that in BKK to clean a 30m2 condo,  more like 5-600 and its  not that good.

[Kinnock]

8 minutes ago, Gecko123 said:

Would like to hear more anecdotes about the quality of interpersonal chemistry, teamwork as a couple .... .

 

..... So I guess what I'm hoping to hear are truthful anecdotes about interpersonal and physical chemistry, shared culinary adventures, deep philosophical discussions about life and religion, your teamwork as parents, her romantic and thoughtful gestures, how she places the relationship's interests above her interests, her conflict resolution skills, her listening, conversational, and storytelling skills, how you make one another laugh. How the sexual chemistry is still there.

 

That's what would make me a believer that the great farang-Thai relationship experiment is for real.

 

Here's my experience for what it's worth .....

 

Her English is excellent, my Thai is OK, and she's very smart - so yes we have real conversations, make each other laugh, teach the other about our different worlds, watch movies together and travel together.  Showing her new experiences is amazing - I travel way too much to enjoy it any more, but showing her around a new city makes it all fresh and exciting again.

 

Some times she's like an affectionate house cat, falling asleep next to me while we watch TV, other times she's playful, cheeky and has a wicked non-Thai-like sense of humour.

 

I trust her judgement and listen to her advice about major buying decisions, work and people.  She appreciates my international outlook and business experience.  I've helped her to grow her business, she's helped me to be less stressed about my work.  She has also made me a (little bit) more 'spiritual' - after I became highly cynical as regards religions.

 

Sometimes she Mothers me, sometimes I'm like a Father to her (teaching her to drive like a Felang for example) and sometimes she's like a sexy step daughter I can bonk without being arrested.

 

 

[NoshowJones]

On 6/14/2019 at 11:17 AM, colinneil said:

Lucky you, my wife is my only friend.????????

Perhaps Colin, but you have a lot of aquaintences.

[spidermike007]

20 minutes ago, gunderhill said:

Blimey are you sure because they certainly dont want that in BKK to clean a 30m2 condo,  more like 5-600 and its  not that good.

Small town living baby!

[NoshowJones]

2 hours ago, phantomfiddler said:

To the OP, your luck does not change the fact that there is a failure/ripoff rate that must approximate 98%. We are the prey ????

I don't think it is anywhere near as high as that.

[DJ54]

On 6/14/2019 at 2:59 AM, geronimo said:

We hear so many sob stories on this forum, so I thought I'd start a thread for the guys who have the perfect relationship.

Great post although I’m on the other end of the spectrum but not complaining and learning from / through it. There are a lot of good / great people here. Thanks for sharing your post.

[NoshowJones]

1 hour ago, villagefarang said:

I understand it is bad form to break ranks but I place most of the blame on how clueless most guys are. 

If you marry a Thai girl, buy her a house, car, motorbike etc, have a fridge kept full of cans of beer, then sit about drinking most of the time, can you blame her when the relationship ends and she eventually sees the light and ends up with someone else?

[transam]

6 minutes ago, possum1931 said:

If you marry a Thai girl, buy her a house, car, motorbike etc, have a fridge kept full of cans of beer, then sit about drinking most of the time, can you blame her when the relationship ends and she eventually sees the light and ends up with someone else?

Not happened to me yet Poss......And visa-versa, as she eats that 'orrible smelly rotten fish stuff at every opportunity..????

[colinneil]

5 minutes ago, transam said:

Not happened to me yet Poss......And visa-versa, as she eats that 'orrible smelly rotten fish stuff at every opportunity..????

Trans think about poor me, as i post i am lying on my bed, unable to get off, and my wife has just parked her a++e next to me eating stinky somtam .... yuk.

[marcusarelus]

20 minutes ago, colinneil said:

Trans think about poor me, as i post i am lying on my bed, unable to get off, and my wife has just parked her a++e next to me eating stinky somtam .... yuk.

Look on the bright side.  She could be an Eskimo and you know what they do with sick old people! 

[transam]

3 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

Look on the bright side.  She could be an Eskimo and you know what they do with sick old people! 

Skin them.....?  ????

[GreasyFingers]

Why am I so happy with my wife when she is nothing like the super women described in some of the posts. She is just everything a women needs to be.

[marcusarelus]

6 minutes ago, transam said:

Skin them.....?  ????

They put gramps outside to chat with the polar bears.  

[Chazar]

1 hour ago, spidermike007 said:

Small town living baby!

Your'e employing children!!????

[Lacessit]

Anyone who says they have a perfect marriage or relationship is fibbing. There are good relationships, that's about it.

As we have different domiciles, my Thai GF and I spend two weeks together, one week apart. That seems to refresh the relationship.

We are entirely different people. She is highly social, I am quite comfortable with my own company. However, the chemistry between us is good.