The week that was in Thailand news: Dress to impress - You're not in Pattaya now laddie!

[rooster59]

The week that was in Thailand news: Dress to impress - You're not in Pattaya now laddie!

 

 

When a foreigner gets to a certain age in Thailand, the Thais usually cut you a bit more slack. Especially if you can speak the Thai language.

 

Just like with older Thais it is not so important to bow and scrape quite so much as it once was as most people are getting younger than you! So long as you have got a head of grey hairs and some designer wrinkles you are considered vaguely doolally and worthy of a bit of leeway. Even at the age of the late fifties you are probably looked at as having one foot in the crematorium and thus it is timely for a relaxation of the cultural laws determining behavior and relative status.

 

This is particular true of dress. Being 58 this month I have found myself recently going bare-chested in grubby shorts down in the lift to monitor my little children as they pedal their bikes furiously in my Bangkok soi. 

 

I always internally admonish myself with the sound of my CCF drill sergeant who might have said: "You're not in Pattaya now, laddie".  But none of the neighbors bat an eyelid and I am pretty sure they couldn't give a guano. I imagine they are just thinking: 

 

"He's been here yonks, naturally gone a tad troppo and aren't those cute grandchildren the old codger's got".

 

Being a city dweller since before the year dot.com I have usually dressed up rather than down. Country bumpkins could wander around in smelly clothes with a straw hanging off their bottom lip but not fashionable Rooster. Oh no! And coming to Thailand in the 1980's I was instantly aware of the importance of dressing to impress. This was true just going to a bar but was absolutely de rigueur when working or doing something official. 

 

Whether it was immigration or the tax office (or even such places as the Department of Land Transport later on) I was always convinced that having a shirt and long pants saved time, grief and even money.

 

As an international school teacher it was always shirt and tie and polished shoes (though I got a special dispensation from head masters for sandals when I got older and ingrowing toenails started to be a perennial problem).

 

These days I am largely confined to the Ratchayothin Barracks though Sgt-Maj (Ying) Rooster will do her own barracking if visitors arrive and I am still forgetfully in my wholly unholy and holey boxers. There are, after all, some things that age cannot wither.....one being a Thai wife's infinite variety. 

 

I never buy clothes these days having enough old school t-shirts and Scrabble tournament freebies to last until I am about 320 years old. Being a Thai resident these days means just one trip to immigration (for a reentry visa) entailing one of two annual uses of "The Pressed Shirt". The other will be when I am presented as a member of the Thai team to a Royal Family representative at this weekend's international Scrabble tournament in Bangkok. 

 

"The Suit" will also come out for this occasion as we always want to look our best when on the Royal TV News at 8pm, don't we.....

 

So, earlier in the week, I sat typing in a state of flabby and decrepit undress in my bedroom-cum-office with Mrs R being sarky about the "one pack" stomach and derisively commenting about British people having a "bath night". I should never have told her that. 

 

This anecdotal foray into the vagaries of sartorial elegance was sparked by one of the threads of the week on Thaivisa.

 

Namely the requirement of Jomtien Immigration for visitors to dress neatly or be refused service!

 

The thread had all the expected responses ranging from "it's not how you dress it's how you act" to "Australians look good in shorts" (which they rarely do). A reasonable number knew that in Thailand you'd be off your rocker to dress down when dealing with any form of officialdom let along Big Oud's minging minions.

 

Poster of the Year 2018 contender NCC1701A said that people had laughed at him but: "I ALWAYS dress like I am going to a very important business meeting when I go to immigration or the bank or any Thai government location".

 

How right he is. He might also remember, bearing in mind that he often posts about his cordial relationships with Thai ladies, that the classier females in the kingdom like a man with a collar....

 

It gives them something to tug on or get hot under. 

 

The pictures on the Jomtien poster seemed to mostly be women though I suppose that many in Pattaya would take their better halves along for moral support when reporting their whereabouts every ninety days or confirming they have enough money for 800 happy hours at one thousand baht a time. 

 

Dressed nicely with his flowing locks immaculately combed this week was Mr Trump. I am being awfully nice to him after the criticism leveled at me last week for calling him names. Mr Trump stepped into North Korea alongside his BBF (Big Barking Friend) Kim in a picture for the ages. 

 

"One small step for a man, one giant leap towards yet another totally unwarranted Nobel Peace Prize". 

 

Our dear Uncle Pee'Too was also pictured with Mr Tou'pee (oops, there I go again) this week. Someone seemed to have found a box for the Thai PM to stand on so that he could rub shoulders and give a thumbs up next to the Great Man from the White House. 

 

Rooster was further reminded of America - and things that Thais get even more upset about than people not dressing for the occasion - in a story about disrespecting Thai flags. In America I'm told that burning the Stars and Stripes would get you jailed though setting fire to the Union Jack would just be seen as a bit "ting tong" where I was dragged up. 

 

Some Western looking teens in Pai should appreciate how lucky they were not to be eating Rice Gruel for months if not years after they messed about with the King's and the National flags. On this occasion the authorities put it down to "hijinks" and Rooster must commend the officials for this as crass idiocy rather than malice aforethought seemed to be their motive. 

 

Dress in holiday singlets and shorts to your heart's content but vandalize anything - let alone Thai symbols - and even if you are Chinese you can expect what's righteously coming to you. 

 

Down in QUOTES - the Queen Of The Eastern Seaboard - the TAT and the local press combined to make a large swathe of humanity disappear. It looked like a typo from "The Pattaya News" as they quoted a local tourism bigwig as saying that 28 million tourists visited Thailand last year. All previous estimates put the figure at 38 million. 

 

Of course it is always possible that 10 million Chinese might have just gone missing in the latest boating accident in Phuket or the minivan ride south.  But to read some of the xenophobic comments on the forum and Thaivisa's Facebook arm one would imagine that they might not be missed by all.

 

Adding fuel to the anti-Beijing sentiment was a story that the Thai police had escorted one of their countrymen off a Lion Air plane that was about to take off at Don Muang after he had tried to open the emergency door. Well, live and let live....at least he probably only wanted a bit of fresh air and it was much better than that Mrs Chew who had thrown some coins in a jet engine for good luck or people taking a dump in the aisle.

 

Better news came from The Mall Group who have decided to charge one baht for anyone using a plastic bag at their swanky Bangkok stores (including Emquartier) and Bluport in Hua Hin. I don't have the clothes necessary to get in some of their stores and my possessions are usually carried in a sturdy 7-Eleven plastic bag.

 

Putting aside the negative sarcasm that one baht would be a drain on someone buying a genuine Louis Vuitton bag in Paragon, I still feel that more should be done rather than just mark events like Wednesday's International Plastic Bag Free Day with smiles and waves for the camera. Tesco Lotus are starting to make their seaside stores plastic bag free but they have forbidden their use in just eight out of 2,000 stores. A drop in the polluted ocean. 

 

Rooster would really like to see the major retailers get together and get tough on single use plastics. And it is time that the government got more involved. Everyone in Thailand - Thais and foreign residents and visitors alike - needs to be battered and bruised and cajoled - whatever it takes - to stop using so many plastic bags and stop packaging things in layer upon layer of the revolting stuff. Plastic straw usage also needs to stop immediately.

 

It will all find it's way into landfill at best and more likely the rivers and klongs and the sea. The trash build-up in Thailand is a disgrace every bit as disgusting as the maniacal roads. A concerted effort is needed by officialdom and the public not just with "D-Days" and pictures for the press. Start charging the public five baht for a bag. Look to Europe for the answers. Phase out this bloomin' menace and show leadership for once.

 

The same goes for recycling. A country that had a proud tradition of poor people collecting cardboard and tin cans to eke out a living should be making far more of an effort particularly with designated and separate bins in municipal areas that must go to separate recycling facilities. I for one would pay for that to be happening in my name....and if I could I would vote for the person who acted on it or shop in the store where they cared rather than just paid lip service to the issue. McDonalds, 7-Eleven, Big C, Prayut and Prawit please note.

 

Top titter-fest this week was the fact that a large contingent of immigration officials failed to find anyone on overstay at the airport! Why were they looking there I wondered as I translated the story from the Thai press. Until it was revealed that one of the places the cops had hunted for miscreants was the "Longstay" car park. 

 

Clearly there was at least some semblance of method in their madness.....

 

Finally, this week I have had the pleasure of welcoming perhaps the greatest female Scrabble player of all time into my home. From Scotland, it has been interesting to hear her take on the things she has seen in Bangkok this week that we residents sometimes take for granted. 

 

On arrival she had been one of the people caught up in the queues at Suwannaphum (my spelling) as Immigration tried to figure out how many fingers tourists had for their two million baht biometric system debut. I quoted my much delayed friend and with a Twitter picture from a reporter it made one of the most followed stories of the previous week. 

 

This week my house guest took my daughter to the cinema. And what shocked her? No, not how good "Toy Story 4" was, she was expecting that. But she was amazed by the fact that a six year old was subjected to such violence in the trailer for "The Fast and the Furious 9". She's right; everywhere in Thailand very young children are confronted by mayhem and violence. As they grow up it's hardly surprising when we witness so much Road Rage from supposedly adult Thais.

 

The filming for Fast and Furious began in earnest in the palm oil plantations, dirt roads and deserted mills of Krabi this week. The authorities begged the public not to reveal details while the news organizations clamored to feed the film going public with Hollywood tittle tattle and the minutest news of where the film crews were going.

 

Rooster? Well I've never seen this franchise and I would frankly never want to even if they ARE carving up the Thai countryside. 

 

Besides I'd never heard of Vin Diesel. I thought it must be an innovative French biofuel used to power the racing cars.

 

Made from grapes, naturally.

Rooster
 

-- © Copyright Thai Visa News 2019-07-06

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[OneMoreFarang]

More than 2,000 words of drivel. Do you get paid for that?

[Samui Bodoh]

An enjoyable read as usual... 

 

...and one that combines two special subjects; fashion and plastic bags. 

 

Yes, there is an obvious bias in favour of foreigners who wear long pants and a collar across Asia when dealing with officialdom, but there are also civilized pockets whereby that particularly odious and noxious habit does not always apply. Many have asked why I love to reside where I do, and one of my responses has always been that here on Koh Samui shorts, and even 'cargo shorts' (the horror!), qualify as 'business casual'. Yes, you will get full-scale gold stars for long pants, but neat, clean shorts, and even 'cargo shorts' (the horror!) are acceptable on the islands. (That said, lose the singlet and speak of it no more)

 

It's nice.

 

However, it is also immensely practical, which conforms nicely with the second part of the tale. Plastic bags, the root of many evils, reside nicely in the 'cargo pocket' (the horror!) of the cargo shorts (the horror!) and can be left there on a daily basis for use in markets, shops, kiosks, and the like. Yes, your humble poster leaves plastic bags in his cargo pocket (the horror!) of his cargo shorts (the horror!) for use at 7-11, Tesco/Big C, and especially at the market. There is great joy at seeing the look on peoples faces as you whip out a plastic bag from your cargo pocket (the horror!) of your cargo shorts (the horror!). That joy is magnified in the market; for the last several years I have been using and re-using plastic bags at the market, and I have become something of a celebrity/rock star for doing so. As I walk to my usual stalls, the market ladies point and cackle to their friends, saying words to the effect of "that's the Farang who brings his own plastic bags!". I select my goods and then with a truly ham-ish flourish I whip out my own plastic bag from the cargo pocket (the horror!) of my cargo shorts (the horror!) and hand it to the ladies for them to use (I once tried to bag the produce myself, but I quickly learned that the proper etiquette is to hand the bag to the market lady). My second to final comment on the subject is that I have enjoyed frequent discounts and freebies for years because of the plastic bags from the cargo pocket (the horror!) of the cargo shorts (the horror!).

 

My final comment is that cargo shorts (the horror!) have become cool again; who saw that coming?

 

 

 

 

[JAS21]

26 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

More than 2,000 words of drivel. Do you get paid for that?

Did you copy and paste into Word Count or ....

[OneMoreFarang]

24 minutes ago, JAS21 said:

Did you copy and paste into Word Count or ....

Yes

[JAS21]

17 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Yes

I agree with you in part, this weeks effort was not one of his best ... still amusing though... now last weeks effort was a pearl... 

[from the home of CC]

doolally? lol 

[ExpatPH]

Remember so well the 90's in Pattaya.

Dress to impress was the code that time. We all, well at least most of us packed our polo shirt inside our belt, and looked soooo groomed.

Not surprised immigration remind people these days to dress appropriate.

 

Been a interesting week on Thaivisa, highlight for me was the foreigner barbecue guy, now in custody.

 

And the latest denied at airport guy who had to spend a few days confined at the airport. Even good guys, educated, with a valid visa get the heat these days. What a week it has been.

 

Thanks for good read, as always.

[Jane Dough]

10 hours ago, ExpatPH said:

Remember so well the 90's in Pattaya.

Dress to impress was the code that time. We all, well at least most of us packed our polo shirt inside our belt, and looked soooo groomed.

Not surprised immigration remind people these days to dress appropriate.

 

Been a interesting week on Thaivisa, highlight for me was the foreigner barbecue guy, now in custody.

 

And the latest denied at airport guy who had to spend a few days confined at the airport. Even good guys, educated, with a valid visa get the heat these days. What a week it has been.

 

Thanks for good read, as always.

Yes the BBQ guy was the best but I thought comment on that had been done to death in the forum. I interviewed his wife who seemed very sensible and pleasant to me.  That led to the follow up story.

 

Thanks for reading the column - it appears nowadays that it takes a special skill to read 2,000 words, less to cut and paste....... I'm off to try and win some money playing Scrabble....

 

Rooster

[alant]

17 hours ago, rooster59 said:

Besides I'd never heard of Vin Diesel. I thought it must be an innovative French biofuel used to power the racing cars.

 

Great 

 

[Andrew Dwyer]

Another great read Rooster.

 

Regarding the “ bath night “, remember it well !, seems strange that my parents ( decent educated people ) would think that Sunday bath night would be sufficient higiene for 7 days, although in their defence I did have “ games” lessons a couple of times a week at school so the run through the showers after each lesson should have retained my bouquet ????

 

Frank Skinner sums up his childhood higiene ritual very well in his autobiography......... non existent !!

His retelling of seeing his father having a strip down wash in the kitchen sink , because the bath was full of old newspapers (?) , with his legs akimbo trying to stop his pants from falling as he had slipped his braces off and resembling a sumo wrestler is hilarious !!

 

Just some advice though, 2,000 words seems like it is too much for some folk to handle, although they do waste their time copying and pasting ????, so maybe you could include a resume of your post in with the original .

A couple of lines should be sufficient for those who have busy lives and can’t concentrate on anything more than the back of a fag packet.

 

Or maybe they just shouldn’t read your post ?, I don’t know, it’s a tough one.

[Artisi]

16 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Yes

Slow day? 

[Artisi]

Being well past Roosters 58, I fully understand the attention from the younger Thai's, to the point that sometimes it is a little embarrassing.  As for having had a son when I was older than what Rooster is, I can understand the looks you get. 

 

For dress, I'm a shorts man with proper quality shirt during the day, but once the sun is about to set, it's long pants and always for any official visit to, immigration, govt office, bank etc. 

 

Edited July 7, 2019 by Artisi

[Paul52]

Another very enjoyable read. Many thanks.


Sent from my iPhone using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[FarFlungFalang]

18 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

More than 2,000 words of drivel. Do you get paid for that?

Getting paid to write drivel requires immense skill and talent both of which I am highly lacking! 

[oobar]

19 hours ago, rooster59 said:

In America I'm told that burning the Stars and Stripes would get you jailed

Only if it's in a venue where it would also be illegal to burn a bed sheet or bath towel. 

[TPI]

4 hours ago, Jane Dough said:

Yes the BBQ guy was the best but I thought comment on that had been done to death in the forum. I interviewed his wife who seemed very sensible and pleasant to me.  That led to the follow up story.

 

Thanks for reading the column - it appears nowadays that it takes a special skill to read 2,000 words, less to cut and paste....... I'm off to try and win some money playing Scrabble....

 

Rooster

Just a thought, in Oz they have found that by banning single use bags, that are biodegradable, they have caused a run on garbage bags (that have to be purchased} and are not, to enclose household rubbish. Isn't it a little bit like cutting your nose off to spite your face?

[Blue bruce]

Not up to your usually sunday read. Sorry

[PAIPEN]

It's about time, to  do something of people going around Pattaya streets half naked. Women with bikini top and mini shorts (some Thai ladies too), men without shirt and shorts hanking under belly fat. 

[Ducking and]

Good writing, and good spelling. But as an introduction to Bangkok with proper meaning the spelling should be She-wanna-boom(-boom)

[pennine]

5 hours ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

Another great read Rooster.

 

Regarding the “ bath night “, remember it well !, seems strange that my parents ( decent educated people ) would think that Sunday bath night would be sufficient higiene for 7 days, although in their defence I did have “ games” lessons a couple of times a week at school so the run through the showers after each lesson should have retained my bouquet ????

 

Frank Skinner sums up his childhood higiene ritual very well in his autobiography......... non existent !!

His retelling of seeing his father having a strip down wash in the kitchen sink , because the bath was full of old newspapers (?) , with his legs akimbo trying to stop his pants from falling as he had slipped his braces off and resembling a sumo wrestler is hilarious !!

 

Just some advice though, 2,000 words seems like it is too much for some folk to handle, although they do waste their time copying and pasting ????, so maybe you could include a resume of your post in with the original .

A couple of lines should be sufficient for those who have busy lives and can’t concentrate on anything more than the back of a fag packet.

 

Or maybe they just shouldn’t read your post ?, I don’t know, it’s a tough one.

The bath night comment reminded me of a colleague in SA who went back home for a visit. When he asked his mother for a clean shirt, she said "but you only put that one on yesterday". 

[Benmart]

22 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

More than 2,000 words of drivel. Do you get paid for that?

Reading it is optional, as is counting the words. 

[Fred white]

9 hours ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

Another great read Rooster.

 

Regarding the “ bath night “, remember it well !, seems strange that my parents ( decent educated people ) would think that Sunday bath night would be sufficient higiene for 7 days, although in their defence I did have “ games” lessons a couple of times a week at school so the run through the showers after each lesson should have retained my bouquet ????

 

Frank Skinner sums up his childhood higiene ritual very well in his autobiography......... non existent !!

His retelling of seeing his father having a strip down wash in the kitchen sink , because the bath was full of old newspapers (?) , with his legs akimbo trying to stop his pants from falling as he had slipped his braces off and resembling a sumo wrestler is hilarious !!

 

Just some advice though, 2,000 words seems like it is too much for some folk to handle, although they do waste their time copying and pasting ????, so maybe you could include a resume of your post in with the original .

A couple of lines should be sufficient for those who have busy lives and can’t concentrate on anything more than the back of a fag packet.

 

Or maybe they just shouldn’t read your post ?, I don’t know, it’s a tough one.

Bath night in the US was Saturday night so you'd be clean Sunday morning for church ????

[Fred white]

6 hours ago, oobar said:

Only if it's in a venue where it would also be illegal to burn a bed sheet or bath towel. 

Yeah the courts said burning the flag was a first amendment right ????

[overherebc]

5 hours ago, PAIPEN said:

It's about time, to  do something of people going around Pattaya streets half naked. Women with bikini top and mini shorts (some Thai ladies too), men without shirt and shorts hanking under belly fat. 

In the rainy season is it ok for Irish ladies to wear slingback wellies?

[yankyoakum]

Agree that dressing correctly does work and my Thai bride would not be happy of I dressed down like I feel the climate requires.

After 43 years keeping the Thai bride happy is prerequisite for continuing life on this blue ball......

[stubby52]

Plastic bags were banned in Western Australia and guess what people are coping well with recycled paper bags and cardboard boxes i hope Thailand follows their example.

[Fred white]

5 hours ago, stubby52 said:

Plastic bags were banned in Western Australia and guess what people are coping well with recycled paper bags and cardboard boxes i hope Thailand follows their example.

Growing up in the US the store's used paper bags for groceries then we used them for trash bags but the tree huggers complained about all the trees being cut down so they went to plastic. Of course the trees were replanted so they were renewable